November '09 and the months are flying by, our 3 month plus troop, and us, the knitted boob group!

[SirBoobAlot]

New thread, we chat so much!

Hobnob the panicky feeling happens whenever anyone is ill and these chicken pox have set me sky high. I used to get this with DS1 and DS2 when they were babies, so perhaps it is just part of PND? I guess it is the focus of my anxiety. It is horrible though. DH thinks it'll pass as soon as Toby gets better. I feel sick all the time, especially when he cries as it breaks my heart to hear him so miserable. I was hoping that work would actually help me with anxieties as I need to have projects, I need a purpose. I usually thrive on work-type stress.

BBL aww your poor little guys! really hope they recover soon. x

Ninja big hugs and cake. Also recommend talking to the the HV. If not, try and find out if there is a Mind centre near you - they tend to have support and chat groups for various reasons. Some childrens centres do too - there is a PND group that meet before my teen group. I hope you feel better really soon.

BBL poor lads!

Trikken I'm glad it was okay

Any of your Oxford lot around this weekend? Am going to stay with DPs parents and will be prepared to kill to get out not busy if you want to grab a bottle glass of wine

I used to live near Oxford so if it were two years ago I'd say 'yeah!' Sadly, now too far away

I've done the school run and been to Asda and feel a bit better despite hearing that Toby vomited all over DH while I was away. I need to get away from myself sometimes. Anxiety is just so horrible but for me it gets worse if I stay indoors too much.

ninja i hope you are able to talk to some-one. And remember, we are great at listening, as I know, being someone who moans a lot and happy to repay the fact!

trikken i am pleased your return to work was not too traumatic. How did you find it leaving the children all evening? I am probably going to have to work an evening or two each week when I return, at least once every 3-4months (when it is my rota for evening groups) so would be interested to know how you find it/manage it/tips etc.

helips what a horrid position to be in. if it does not work, you could come back right? And two years is not that long really. DH is still unemployed after being made redundant, and we are feeling the pinch now my salary has pretty much gone, i would take the chance abroad without a doubt. Although I am not minimising the concerns of no support with young children. Its a tough one though. If you did not take it, would you manage financially while he found work here? How long could that take? It is good that you are able to go there and see how it lies before committing.

Reuben did not sleep again last night. He woke, probably hourly? But I did not bother to check any of the time, except the first time at midnight. I got up at 7am, just before DD who had a lie-ine (late night last night), and it was quite nice, despite the feeling that my eyes had been pulled out of the sockets. His cough is much much better, so am guessing he must be growing/building my milk supply for sure.

However, good news. We went to a friends for tea, and while their Reuben fed fed fed, got home at 8pm, put DD to bed while DH got Reuben ready for bed (nappy change, into sleeping bag, dimmed the lights etc). Then he came up for a kiss goodnight, and they both snuggled on the sofa while I tidied around them. DH was waiting to pass him to me, but instead, Reuben got into the position of feeding on DHs lap and went to sleep! DH then managed to put him to bed, he woke a little but DH settled him by putting his hand on his chest lightly and going 'shhhhh' and he went to sleep! without me I am really pleased, as is DH, as it was not intended, just happened, but also a bit that he did not need me to settle him !!You would think I would be pleased! .

Hello,

ninja poor you, it's a shame you can't get counselling on nhs in your area, I've managed to get quite a bit of help here with different courses. Do you have a sure start centre near you? If so they may be able to offer you some help. I really hope you can get some help soon. As some of the others have said you know where we are if you would like to talk.

bbl hope Toby is on the mend.

Ninja for you not being able to access the support you need- others have posted good suggestions though, maybe one is an option for you?

SirBoob, bother - would love to pop to Oxford and meet you, except DS 1 has just come down with wildly contagious pink-eye and is oozing hideously out of both eyes. We are in quarantine from other little ones AGAIN.

Helips, am also worried about being on my own with two little ones and no friends in a foreign country. Trying not to think about how horribly lonely it's going to be...

I am so tired. This is the way the baby's nights have gone for the last month - awake to feed at 11, awake again at 1, again at 2.30 or 3, again at 4 and then fussing until 6 when my toddler gets up. He is forming a sleep association of boob/sleep, and I know this, but am still helpless to stop it. I am shattered, and getting to the stage when everything's going a bit fuzzy - I can't work out where to put the groceries away, or remember what I did yesterday. Apparently memory formation is one of the frist things to go with prolonged sleep deprivation.

Hello All

london meet up Giraffe out the front of the Festival Hall sounds good. We'll be taking the place over with all our pushchairs! Think I'll bring my bike lock so I can chain mine to something outside.

BBL Poor Toby. He certainly does look sad in those photos. It must be so very distressing. Is he on the mend yet?

SirBoob Eek at that scary guy. There's only so fast you can even go when pushing a pram, isn't there? You are especially vunerable. Any news on your poor friend with the pregnancy that isn't going well?

TOK Hurrah for baby massage! Have you been doing it since the course? Is baby Anya still smiling and giggling?

Ursi I love the idea of language classes for mothers and babies. Be so great to have something good and challenging like that. Playgroups are all very well, but be great to have another place to go where occasional screaming and bfing is totally cool. On the naps front James is also in the 30/40 min sessions 3 or 4 times a day camp too. Just the idea of a 1.5hr lunchtime nap is enough to make me start gazing off into the middle distance with a wistful smile on my face.

Scarlotti Good to hear your weaning is going well. Puree, yum! Begining to think that Ioan and James are semi-psychic twins. James also started sleeping until 5am again two nights ago. Admittedly, I had to spend 3 nights rocking him to sleep at stupid o' clock several times a night to get to that, but OOOOH it feels good!!!

Pav Hurrah for your DH settling Ruben so well. It's great that he can do it, tho I understand that weird feeling. My DH has been settling James for a bit (usually if he wakes up during his early evening sleep) but last night I went out to see a film and wasn't in the house when James woke, was fed EBM and put back to sleep by him. Of course I also knew this was a GOOD thing but had a big teary moment when I got back to the house. Still, keeping on with it. Planning to have a night out seeing a film or similar every week even if DH can't come with me. He gets to go to archery on Thursdays so this is my treat. Great to hear that your talk with the tutors went so well. Fingers x'd that you'll be able to find funding when the time comes.

James rolled over for the first time today at 2 days over 4 months. Was stupidly excited. Righted him and grabbed the video camera but he refused to repeat the trick. Darn it. Has also discovered the joy of sticking out his tongue and has been doing it all day. Not such a good look, but very funny.

BBL, I hope you and your boys are all feeling better soon.

helips, is it a 2 years contract? 2 years do pass extremely quickly. I can understand that it is not an easy decision, especially with children, it is quite far away and really different from were you are now. But you could also see it as a life time opportunity. Living abroad is just adding a lot to you as a person. You learn lots of new things and also skills (like making new friends, being more open,...), you get a different view (from outside) of your own culture and country.
I miss my family too and therefore I wouldn't want to stay in London forever but I am happy that I have done it.
I'm sure it would be quite easy for you to find English speaking people easily (they are everywhere . So that would be the first step and you won't feel lonely. And if you are lucky you might even find some others, not just short-stayers like you. (In fact, I'm a bit sad, as all of my dearest friends - a bunch of Japanese ladies I had met in language class)- seem to leave me. But I've already met new people through child connected activities)

Forgot to say, thanks for all that support about language classes for mum and baby. Now I really want to do it. Any idea where I should try to offer it or who I could ask about where to go? Maybe the HV knows about organisations in the area who do stuff for mums and would have the space to do it?

Thanks once again ladies.
Things are ok here, just finding some of the day to day stuff a bit difficult.

I'm catching up with the thread but just wanted to say BBL thanks for sharing your childhood experience. I was in a dv relationship and I'm a much better mum now I don't have to deal with x's behavior.

Now off to read all your advice xxx

tamlin, laugs and others who have had awful sleep recently, i really have my fingers crossed for more than snatches of sleep at a time tonight. Even DH said I looked exhausted and he is usually polite and complimentary on how I look even if I am looking terrible!

All those with babies and children who have eczema, how do you treat it? What creams would you recommend, if any for mild eczema? What about bathing, should it be more, or less often? DS has a few patches of it. Is it likely to get worse? I noticed a small patch on his torso and around the top of where is nappy rubs on his bum/back, so checked his elbows and he has some around one of his elbows, yellow, course, dry skin, he also has a couple of patches on his scalp (not cradle cap). I am not concerned about it right now, and it is not causing any discomfort for him, but want to do what I can to help keep it at bay/not irritate it. I am not surprised as DH had it mildly as a baby/child, although DD does not have any. I shall google it anyway as I cannot resist but any practical advice from those in the know would be great!

Haven't got much time to post but just wanted to say thanks for the advice re moving abroad. A lot to think about but you guys have made me feel a bit better, there's always mumsnet if I get lonely!

helips DH's cousin lives in Singapore with her H and 4DC's, they have been stationed all over with his work. They really enjoyed it, and it's quite common to have staff over there if you're an ex-pat so you'd get a cleaner and a cook probably - might be a nice perk!!

Venus spooky James has just done the 5am wake up too! I've had to dummy Ioan to get him to go through but hoping another few nights of it will get it to stick. Are you also feeding lots in the day?

Today has been 1.5 hourly feeding am not sure how long this is going to go on for - anyone with any idea/experience?

London meet-up is there not enough room in Giraffe for the buggies then?! If there is, sounds good to me!

BBL how is Toby doing today? Poor lamb looks so sad in his photo

Venus, I have been doing as part of the bedtime routine since. She loves it, although I wouldn't say she relaxes during it as she normally squeals with excitement, especially when doing her back She hates having her feet touched, which is a bit strange. Leaving the oil on overnight is working wonders on her paches of dry skin too which is a bonus! Well done James for rolling over too! Anya is yet to do this. You should know better than getting the camera out, they never do things on cue, little rascals!

Tamlin you poor thing, sounds like your having a tough time. Would you consider expressing so that dp can help out with middle of the night feeds? Does he take a dummy? Clutching at straws here, I know. While his waking is like that at night, try to get as much sleep during the day as you can, even if its just half an hour here and there. Hope it gets easier for you

Pavlov the HV said to me that if they develop eczema, then just to not use any products in the bath, and that either olive oil or E45 is still the best stuff to use.

Venus - she's back home, and seems a little better, thanks. They're still not sure what is going on, and haven't scanned her, as she has her 20 week scan next week She hasn't bled, but then again she's still in pain, and hasn't felt any movements. I know it sounds horrible but she can be quite melodramatic at times, and really is not good with pain, so its possible that's what it is..? Though am still about the fact they said the heartbeat was very weak... Oh I don't know. Thank you though And yey for James rolling!! Bryn has done it twice (I think ) and just looks rather bemused after. Has James started pulling his tongue yet? We've managed to make ourselves sick here a few times Its quite funny though!

Tamlin sounds like M.E. Am also having issues re boob = sleep. Not done intentionally of course, just that he happens to fall asleep on the boob a lot. But if he wakes up when moved after he does settle, so am hoping that it will be okay...

Hobnob how was DDs report?

Day three of weaning and the nappies are definitely telling me so. I feel somewhat guilty about having done it early, as if I've failed. Even though every professional I have mentioned it to has told me I've done The Right Thing. I just couldn't cope with having a new born again, and that's exactly what it felt like - a heavier, hungrier, more demanding new born. And the thing is, you can't force a baby to eat if they're not ready to, and he's loving it (kicking his legs and chuckling away with every mouthful)... So why do I feel so bad? Bloody mothers guilt. As if everyone else isn't critical of us enough as it is, we just have to judge ourselves.

I got into an argument on the bus today I actually feel somewhat proud of myself! Two women let me go in front of them, and the woman who was just getting her ticket had put her bags behind her and was in no obvious rush. Fine. Well as she started to move, I started to put the buggy on the bus, and knocked into one of her bags (not her, the bag). To which, she responded, "Oh that's fine, don't you mind me. Oh no, don't you bother", and from somewhere came this burst of self confidence which allowed me to say rather loudly, "I'm sorry - I'm disabled and trying to get a buggy on a bus. I am so sorry if that is an inconvenience to you!". Cue silence from the bus, a small smile from the bus driver, and the two women (who were obviously mothers) saying, "Good for you, girl" in really encouraging ways behind me. I generally don't manage to muster the esteem to respond to comments so I feel both shocked and pleased with myself! Also slightly bad for the woman, as I probably over reacted, but hey...

Sorry, mammoth post! Am sat here (with my bra off as my boobs are killing me [there are some things you can only share with strangers emotion]} when I should be packing for this weekend. Ah balls...

Clever thinking with the bike lock venus! Have you done that before then? I might do the same thing. So that's one less scarlotti, don't worry! Rosa has been enjoying sticking her tongue out today when the wind blows. We were in the garden as it was such a lovely morning. DH says she is 'tasting the air' No rolls over yet but brilliant tummy time hed holding. She's better than me!

Well was another night of weirdness here... Rosa woke at quarter past ten again so I just thought, ok, she's going to have this extra evening feed and hopefully sleep on through (I can dream...) but no! Ten to 2 then don't even know what time it was but she kept waking and not even crying, which I suppose I should be grateful for, but instead babbling LOUDLY in her cot. So loudly I am sure she woke our next door neighbour . She just went on and on! And when I finally went to her she just grinned and kicked and looked like 'Hehee, I made Mummy come to see me, clever Rosa!'. I was so bemused and fed-up that at one point I just stood by her cot with my arms crossed and gave her a lecture! I told her it was NOT morning time, it was SLEEPY time and that she'd had LOTS of milk and should now just get some sleep like any normal person! She stopped babbling, turned her head away........and nodded off! So there is my no-cry sleep solution ladies

Tonight I think am going to give her the late evening feed then try to just soothe not feed through the night as I know she can do 6, 7, 8+ hr stretches, she just needs to start doing them in the right places! Thoughts?

Oh and for second/third timers: will the clocks going forward in a week or so completely ruin this plan anyway?!

P.S. SirBoob I am around on Saturday but Sunday off to London to hang out with friends for the day/eve before our meet-up!

SirBoob good for you on the bus and don't waste any energy feeling bad for weaning him early. I've done the same and have been feeling bad for the same reasons, but as my friend said 'what's done is done, and a whole generation and more were weaned far far earlier than we've waited'

Tamlin sorry, meant to send you some virtual hugs and sleep in my last post ... must be that forgetting thing again ... hope you manage to cope. It's co-sleeping that's getting me through - I realised this morning that he'd been latched on for over an hour from the 5am feed and I'd dropped off. Mad as normally feeds are around 5 mins so he's obviously distracted in the day but focussed in the small hours whilst in my bed
I figure I'll deal with any bad sleep associations once we're actually in the situation where I'm getting some sleep.

Any advice re high chairs? I had a babydan one for DS1 but have got it out of the loft and am missing some bits Also have remembered that we had issues with it being at the table, as he couldn't get his legs under the table (table design vs. chair design) which is kind of the point with that model. So even if I find the spare bit in the toolbox, it might be a non starter.

Hm. She's still not awake. Now I'm tempted to leave her and see if she'll go til 5am like the golden days, er, nights. What to do, what to do!

I should be asleep. went to bed at half ten and here I am, up again. The baby is asleep, dh and ds are asleep but I just cant. have too many thoughts just swirling around my brain.hope you are all having nice dreams, and have lovely sleeping babies.

raggie what did you decide? We have a midnight babbler here too sometimes, and if I tell him enough is enough he does drift off!!

No rolling here yet and the tongue thing has passed, we had a few weeks where he'd stick it out and leave it there!! He has found his voice though and is now experimenting. Yesterday was the ability to screech much to DS1's distaste 'Mum, I can't hear Roary'!!

Well my lovely 5am wakings were short lived I had only two, then last night he woke at 1:30am! Managed to get him back to sleep until 2:30 then he came in for a feed and we co slept the rest of the night with a few feeds thrown in at various times. I remember last time I had a 5am treat, it was followed by a week of several wakings a night. Sigh.
Dh has offered to do a night this weekend though (did you see those flying pigs?!) so part of me hopes Ioan gives him a proper night of feeding so he can really experience what it's like!
Think there's teeth movement going on too, much more chomping on hands and dribbly possetting.

Trikken hope you got some sleep in the end. Awful when the baby is sleeping and you can't.

Have a meeting at 11 about some possible work. Am hoping it comes off as it might be an office/home combo which would just be brilliant. Part of me is still in denial about the whole work thing though!!

With apologies to Raggie, Laugs, Scarlotti and others having bad nights at the moment but JAMES SLEPT THROUGH, JAMES SLEPT THROUGH RA RA RA! From 11pm until I woke HIM at 6.45am, He woke (and woke me) for a few minutes a couple of times but self settled and is now awake, full of beans and sitting on my lap. I feel like a normal human being for the first time in ages....

SirBoob fingers x'd about your chum and her scan. Well done for standing up for yourself on the bus, it was totally the right thing to do. Some oeople are so thoughtless and self-centred.

Raggie Yes, I've used the lock before. It's one of those flexible ones so is really handy. I remember the Giraffe being a decent size but not huge so some prams will have to be outside.

oops, was going to write more but I smell a nappy...

How did she do raggie?

I've given up good spells are going to last scarlotti because they just never do! Anya went down at 7 last night, woke for feed at 12.30 then woke again at 4.30 but I managed to get her back to sleep without a feed and she then woke at 5.30. Not bad going really.

Not too sure about high chairs scarlotti. Ds used the one DH had when he was little (Mil keeps EVERYTHING!. It is quite unique, changes into a rocking car when turned upside down and it is narrower than the modern ones. Only downside is that it doesn't give the back support or comfort that recent models do. Oh, good luck with your meeting, hope it goes well

Sirboob well done you, sticking up for all buggy pushing mums and dads! People can be so rude. DO not doubt your decision about weaning, as you said, Bryn is loving his food. When they are ready, they are ready and no-one knows when that is that better than a baby's own mother. You are doing a wonderful job.

Go James! I am extremely jealous Venus but you must be over the moon. Now he just needs to repeat this!