Fab Feb 2009 bar: toddle on in, grab a pew: mummy's in need of a drink or two...

[dinkystinky]

New thread for us to natter on about our toddling terrors... complete with some virtual booze. Mine's a french martini....

Thanks SM. After concerted nagging discussion he's starting to come round to my way of thinking. I just dont believe in crying it out when kids are so little and as I know Danny can self settle know its something else - but DH (despite the fact crying it out never worked with him as a baby) thinks its the magic cure all I think its because he keeps comparing poor Danny to DS1 (not helped by the fact they look so alike - they could be twins a few years apart) and just has trouble recognising that they are both very different personalities with very different issues...

Oh dear.
I often do the pick up put down thing with Luke mixed with a bit of CC, but that's what I'm comfortable with. Not for everyone I know.

Speaking of twins, people keep asking me that about L and J "are they twins?"
"eer, no"
They do really look alike, quite crazy really. I should really start taking some pics and get them on fb, show off what perfect, beautiful children me and dp make

Morning.
I have that appointment with the next step careers advisor today. Not sure how useful it'll be as I've decided now what I want to do, but there might be an avenue I have not thought of pursuing yet so we shall see.
I'm applying for some more jobs today, but not restricted to TA, I'm kind of now looking at anything. Now I've decided I want to work and I'm ready for work, I've got to get something. It's the now or never game, you know?
Do you think it's bad of me to seriously job hunt when I am so close to getting 1 on 1 time with Luke?
The boys won't suffer will they if I actually manage to get a job? I've kind of decided they will go to a CM/nanny and have been looking at some websites, I'd like them to continue rto have close adult contact and remain in a small group.
Can any of you workers give me tips on things I need to think about?

Sorry SM - I should have said I just dont believe in crying it out with my kids when they're so little as I know Danny (and DS1's) personalties and that they'd just get more and more agitated and end up a purple faced blubbery mess rather than a sleeping one. I know that CC works for other people with their kids and that is great. Good luck with your appointment today.

Working with kids in your life is just a different kind of juggling act to the one you do every day with your DC and everything you need to get done when you're a SAHM. Good childcare you're 100% happy with will make your life as a working mum a whole lot better.

dinky, i totally get you.

dd and ds1 at this age used have serious problems shutting off, couldn't self settle and were constantly overtired as a result. For them a form of crying it out (involving me going into them constantly so they knew they weren't abandoned) was the only solution, we tried all the gentler methods and they just got more agitated, they just needed to yell themselves to sleep for a couple of night s and they've slept absolutely brilliantly ever since.

Problem is dp now thinks it's the magic sure all and keeps commenting on how it's time to 'train' A and threatening to start letting him cry it out. He's getting ratty about A's chaotic wakings and it's making me more stressed. I can tell that A is waking as his teeth are bothering him... yes it's frustrating but it's not his fault. When he's feeling well he self settles, sleeps well enough and is generally and easy baby but i think dp has forgotten that as this teething nonsense has gone on so long now

SM, good luck with the meeting with the careers advisor

dd and ds1 are often mistaken for twins, they're the same height and weight despite being 18 months apart and are quite alike.

hello all, I'm in disguise (mos) Had to start a thread in secondary education about DC1/littlebastard/fuckwit who has been incredibly stupid (gets that from his dad) too bloody tired to keep namechanging so this is me for a few days/weeks/months. Basically the little fuckwit has been suspended until September! its fucking June now and he still has 3 or 4 exams! And the fucking school (you can tell I'm angry) didn't even have the courtesy of telling me, the just told his dad when he picked him up on Friday for half term. Tossers! What they expect me to do with him I don't know. All I know is I've paid for him to full board until July and now apparently I've got to pull something out of the hat between now and sunday when his dad is due to drop him off at school. Just WTF am I paying over 8k a term for? If that wasn't bad enough (DH has gone mental and is treatening all sorts of physical violence - on DS, not me) H has done something to my laptop and bloody return/enter button not working, hence untidy posts. On the plus side, a friends nanny is at a loose end a few afternoons a week and she has just come round and we've done a deal that she will do 2, maybe 3 pms a week from 2pm to 5pm so I can study etc. I used to do it with my normal am nanny on Mon and Tues but now H and G both have swimmign lessons on Monday am and I have 3 signing classes on tuesdays there just isn't time for 'proper' studying. I leave here in 4 weeks (if those twunts at BA don't go on strike I will be landing in exactly 28 days to the minute at LHR) I am quite chuffed about nanny as I'm paying her just under 10 pound for the 3 hours but it gives me sooooooooo much time to study, sort out all sorts, apply for jobs, read a book and meet DH at 4pm for a coffee when he finishes work. (and I'm hoping I can bribe her to make pancit and spring rolls as she is filipino and they all cook brilliantly!) she was so pleased when she came round an our ago to talk about it as I said just to look after kids. Another lady interviewed her yesterday and wanted to pay her less and for her to do washing, ironing, cleaning, hoovering cooking and look after kids! She thinks she has it easy but as long as kids are ok (sounds like they are having good fun) thats all I care about and I can get on with my studying as have an assignment to finish before I leave here in 4 weeks/28 days yahoooo! SM hope the interview goes/went ok dinky sorry about the teeth problem. H is being a little shit at night, maybe its that too. TITS good that your are getting christening all sorted. Was really glad I got H's out of the way KBN hope you are having a lovely holiday. Think I might try to book something end of June for DH, G & H and I. DS can sod off and DD1 will still be at school. Quite fancy a few days away, maybe New Forsest. Any recommendations. Right, off to go to drs, left boob has been hurting for weeks, actually months now and I can get to doctors without G & H so will get on with it before boob drops off xxx

Shit MoS - what the hell did DS1 do to get suspended??? That is such a stupid thing for him to do in such an important year and sounds really out of character. Will they let him back for the day for the relevant exams. Hope something gets sorted out and he realises how much trouble he's caused for you. Great news about the nanny though and hope doc helps with achy boob.

Hi - all, just dropped in for a catch-up.

MOS !! What a nightmare about your DS....didn't know that they could suspend a child without at least talking to the parents first. What do they expect you to do?? Sounds like you need a holiday when you get back....

Dinky teething horrors continue in this house too, though last night was the first night for weeks Lilian slept ok. I am usually up with her ages in the wee hours trying to calm her down. Those naughty molars take ages don't they? I do let her cry it out quite often, but only when I can see that she is very tired and her tears are not related to teething. It didn't work for me with DS - his screams were too piercing for me to walk away from....

SM Good luck with the job hunt. It's a tricky balance - I went back to work 4 days a week with DS but am down to 2 days a week at the moment which works ok for me until DS goes to school next year. Cost of 2 x childcare more or less cancels out any income I make (I am freelance so not every day is an earning day at the moment) but it keeps me sane which I think is more important !

Little Lilian has just taken her first steps, quite late I know and she still prefers all fours, but I am hoping that she'll get the hang of it soon as I have got lots of little summer dresses that aren't very practical for crawling in!

Ah Calico, Lilian sounds so sweet. Bet she was so pleased with herself taking those steps. My sympathies on your ongoing teething traumas (and MoS' and Tulips' and everyone's really) - I genuinely dont remember teething being so bad last time round. Hope all good with you and your little ones otherwise.

Thanks Dinky - yes she is a poppet but so much more feisty than her big brother. She does the full on legs kicking, head banging, back arching tantrum already....quite the little madam!

mos What a little bugger! What did he do? I'd be livid too, but can I ask why you had to name change to start your new thread?
calico Tbh, the whole job thing is partly for the money, but more for getting something else in my life.
Dp doesn't want me to bother if it means our income doesn't increase by much, but like I said before, his opinion doesn't count until he's be at home with the terrors for 3 years. He struggles doing it for 3 hours!

My appointment went well, got some great tips for my cv and some voluntering information too.

Calico Bless little L
I didn't walk until I was 17 months. The doctors and hv's told my parents that we're either talkers or walkers and that I would have a skill in one of them. Those of you that have met me, know it's talking!

I've sent off my cv for maybe 10 jobs today!

Got that interview with the TA agency, so we'll see what comes of that. Will be good interview experience but not sure the job would be ideal in terms of finding childcare as it's day to day, so in the unlikely event I get something, I might have to say no anyway.

Hello!

Dinky I know what you mean about the crying it out thing. I could never do it. I think for the same reason I just know that Izzy would not respond at all. I can tell she would just be too upset. Sometimes when I leave the room she shouts for a second as I leave and then goes to sleep. Other times she cries when I try to leave (real cry rather than shout) so I go back for hugs, resettle then try again. It takes a few goes and sometimes I just feed her to sleep :blush: STILL :blush: but just cannot do the cio thing or cc. Hubby can't seem to get the difference between the shout and the cry like last night [rolls eyes] but i just told him he would have to go and cuddle her for a bit not just shove her in bed with a bottle Bless him he doesnt usually do bed times

SM yes I can well imagine wanting/needing something thats just yours after 3 years of being a SAHM. I have actually missed work after a week its not that I need time away form Izzy its more I need something that I can be good at, which doesn't involve jumping round like a lunatic trying to entertain.... oh no wait I do that at work too! Anyway go for it, like dinky says you just juggle Working with kids is really hard but very rewarding I always said I would stop working with children when I had my own but turns out I still love it.

Hi Calico, nice to 'see' you its just so lovely when they take first steps, izzy did it to get to me and grab some of my flapjack. Thats my girl

Tulips This is the thing they sleep well when they are well, but there always seems to be something doesnt there! If its not teeth its a cold Izzy was a good sleeper when she was little i think from 4 months to about 7 months but then until recently was not so liking the sleep Its only been the last couple of months where sleep hs been good so i feel your pain xx

KBN its unreal about the escaping toddlers! scary to think what kind of trouble they get into.

MOS sounds like your having a nightmare sending you some well needed good karma xxx

Getting back into swing of things after a week in Kos, my brother and now SIL got married finally! 12 years and one and a half babies later was so lovely. Izzy had a ball we just ate, slept and swam HEAVON. I usually like to do stuff on holiday but this year I just did nothing and Izzy napped for long periods

weird question but when do you start potty training? I was thinking of getting a potty just for the living room to just have one around, what do you think ladies or shall I just leave it til she is ready (dont know what ready means)

Hello all So busy at the moment as dp's sister is getting married on friday. DP is usher and dd is flower girl so been rushing around for suit/dress fittings, shoes, outfit for me and ds and got rehursal to do etc...

Will be back full time on sunday when it is all over ;)

MOS hope it sorts itself out

good luck SM

Dinky sorry for sleep issues after 13 months of DS waking every two hours for a feed I know how you feel. We have finally cracked the sleeping. I had to give up breast feeding before he did it though and I slept in his room on his floor for the best part of two weeks but now he sleeps from 7 until 7 and asks to go to bed for his hour and a half nap durring the day..... sorry for gloat there!!

DD is waking every night now though and she has been going through the night since she was 9 weeks old and is 3 now... grrrrrrrr

Littlesez from my experiance i think it is too early for a potty. I got one for dd at this age and as she saw it as a toy she never used it for what she should have iykwim. it was a hat and a seat but never a toilet. We then had to skip the potty stage and just go for seat on toilet. i would wait until she is a little older. When people say "she is ready" I thin they mean "when she asks to have no nappy or when she knows she needs the toilet". With dd it was a month after her second birthday and she asked if she could have big girl knickers. So we went and got them and started potty training then.. it took one week and she was dry day and night... However i tried to do it a month before (when she obviously wasn't ready) and it was a nightmare, she pood and weed everywhere..... lol... hope you are all enjoying your breakfast

how many spelling mistakes can I make in one post????? sorry

littlesez I got a potty for ds1 when he was about 16/17 months and for 1 hour at the end of the day (6-7pm before bath) I took his nappy off and would let him run 'free'. When he stopped to wee, I'd whisk the potty in mid-stream so he could see it collecting there.
It was a bit infrequent once Luke was born though (ds1 was 18 months) but we kept it in the living room so he would see it.
I think the 'average' age for potty training is between 2 and 3 but each child is different and each parent will have their own thoughts and methods.
There would be nothing wrong with getting Izzy a potty and letting her explore it, sit on it, put it on her head etc etc. You could take a super relaxed approach and just sit her on it every day and as she gets older, sit her on it at set times (like first thing and before bed or at nappy changes) to get her used to it.
Ifc you're going to do this, I'd buy a little story book about potties and read it to her daily.
Also when training, bubbles are good. Get her to sit on the potty and blow bubbles herself as this uses the same muscles as pooing.
But that will come later, just do whatever you want to really, having a potty in the living room and allowing her to gain interest in her own time will not do any harm, but be warned, potty training is a serious PITA and I'd wait as long as possible!
I was keen to get ds1 out of nappies (just after he turned 2) and tbh, it would have been handy to keep him in nappies a bit longer.

The interview today went really well. The agency accepted me onto their books and will egt work for me when my CRB comes back. She knows the school she's going to work to get me into, so fingers crossed I can get there and make a good impression.
I'm still applying for other posts too so we shall see. I'm feeling good though aboput doing something for me, so can't be bad!

What is this sleep thing you all keep talking about?

SM glad the interview/careers talk went well. Are you still thinking of doing that course you talked about a few weeks ago?

Am very stressed today (for a change!) Have been in email communication with the deputy head at DSs school who deals with the discipline and we are trying to reach a satisfactory agreement. I've proposed that DS return to school Sunday night for exam on Monday and is allowed to stay in his room except for meals and bathroom breaks until after his exam on Thursday pm at which point he will leave and then return the following week for his final exam. Fingers crossed they will agree to that as I still maintain suspension for half a term (which bloody well cost 8k!) is ridiculous

Was feeling quite hopeful and had some really postive support on a thread I stared (can't link, too stupid but its in secondary education about suspension during exams) Was feeling quite calm just now and just about to go to bed (10pm ish here) then saw some stupid bitch put a quite nasty post on there which has really wound me up. Anyone feel like giving her some abuse

right, off to try to get some sleep, haven't had any for the last 2 nights. Hope to catch up with a lot of you LATER THIS MONTH WHEN I RETURN! YAY!

Hi everyone - properly longtime no speak on here although have been keeping up with lots of you who frequent FB! Have got an iPhone nowand finding it quite hard to work the sites as can't scroll easily! News from me - my dh turned out to be a dick, ds1 reacted v badly to him and now HATES him and acts up ALL the time. DS2 is running around loving summer, chattering away and generally sleeps 7pm-8.30am and naps 11am-2pm!!! Wish they were both like it!! Lol Ive turned 30 this yr and dropped the same in weight and loving being a size 10 again!!! Still have pnd and on meds but feeling slightly better ATM... Just hope it lasts! Hope everone and baines are ok and this post marks my place and makes it easier for me to keep up with the thread xxxx

spotty welcome back. Sorry your DH turned out to be a dick. Mine has been like that a few times over the past year. We had been doing ok the last few weeks but we are all over the place now due to problems with DS1 and he is getting very resentful (understandably) on the money he has spent on him.

Morning.
Good to see you on spotty
I've got an appointment at the job centre today about signing on. I don't qualify for any benefits not even job seekers as had my payments in 2007, but I want them to pay my stamp duty and as I'll still be classed as signing on, just not receiving payment, I'd qualify for other support from the job centre plus financil help for training courses etc.
mos I've kind of decided that if I can get financial support to study, I will try to do a degree in Social care to become a qualified social worker. That's what I really want to do.

Morning MM - men eh who'd have em . Can I ask who you used to be on here? Morning SM good luck at the job centre x

spotty MM is mos She's changed for a few days

SM - that all sounds really good re the interviews etc. Good luck with your job centre appointment.

MOS - ignore the stupid woman on your other thread. You know that there are people on MN whose only mission is to stir and upset - just ignore the idiots. Hope the school goes for your suggestion - it sounds really sensible. And I hope DS1 is really v contrite and realises what an idiot he's been and how much trouble he's causing you and DH.

SPOTTY! Lovely to see you on the board my love - stay with us. We've missed you! Sorry your DH is a pillock of immense proportions but hey, at least you got two gorgeous funny lovely wonderful boys from your relationship with him. Not surprised you're still battling with PND with all you've been/are going through - remember we're here for you. And at the size 10 - must be all that gymming you're doing...

SM - that all sounds really good re the interviews etc. Good luck with your job centre appointment.

MOS - ignore the stupid woman on your other thread. You know that there are people on MN whose only mission is to stir and upset - just ignore the idiots. Hope the school goes for your suggestion - it sounds really sensible. And I hope DS1 is really v contrite and realises what an idiot he's been and how much trouble he's causing you and DH.

SPOTTY! Lovely to see you on the board my love - stay with us. We've missed you! Sorry your DH is a pillock of immense proportions but hey, at least you got two gorgeous funny lovely wonderful boys from your relationship with him. Not surprised you're still battling with PND with all you've been/are going through - remember we're here for you. And at the size 10 - must be all that gymming you're doing...

ooh, strange feeling of dejavou (sp?) there

SM sounds like a fab idea. If that is what you want to do then go for it. Do you own a pair of sandals and long flowing skirts?

dinky looks like its all calmed down a bit at the school. I was calm yesterday then realised late last night that DS may well miss the start of the A2 syllabus which they start after exams in June. I therefore went 'ape shit' as DS would say and wrote a shitogram last night. Mentioned that they were potentially ruining Ds's chances to read law at Cambridge and becoming a barrister. Also mentioned that was what he'd wanted for a very long time and I'd arranged work experience for him at a set of barristers chambers that I used to instruct and funnily enough, one of them is an expert in educational matters, in particular admissions and suspensions and I felt I had no choice but to consult him. Miraculously, I had a satisfactory reply within a few hours and despite saying he was unable to talk to the Headmaster until Monday, he suddenly managed to.

[cheers for MOS] well done girl... nothing like a bit of bile to get some people moving in the right direction is there?

hello again spotty, we've missed you! sorry about the dickH but here's hoping things can only improve from here.

SM, excellent news, bet that's boosted your confidance no end too. Nothing like getting back to using your brain after years of baby wrangling, you'll feel so much better once you're doing things for yourself again... and i bet it'll ease tensions with your dp too... I find i'm much less resentful of dp now that i have a life of my own again and amn't just 'mommy'

dd and i had a lovely day yesterday, she had a hospital apppointment in the closest big town and we went shopping for a few hours first as i needed clothes for a night out tomorrow. Then we swung by my dads shop on the drive home so she got hot chocolate and a play on the pc from him (she doesn't know our pc can access the cbeebies website too and it will stay that way! ) Left A at home with dp and he was good as gold despite me being gone from 10am to 5pm! Kept me up all night though even more frustrating as the night before he went down at 7.30, woke briefly at 10.30 and then slept til 8am and played happily in his cot til 8.30