May 09 - The Sleepless Babies Club, All Dubious Fashions Welcome

[Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa]

Ladies.

Febes- great news on R sleeping for 12 hours . Shame about you being in agony as a result, but if he continues, i am sure in a few days your boobs will have adjusted. I fed S at 11.45pm and then 4am last night. And just as I got up out of bed to put S back in his cot he brought the whole lot back up, over him, me and the bed. After all the stripping involved S was wide awake, and DH buggered off into the spare room next door .

ses I totally understand where you're coming from. DH and I have the lie in discussion quite often. His arguement is that he works hand and is entitled to have a lie in on his days off. Mine is that even though I don't go to work nowadays I never get a lie in, because I'm awake at 7-7.30 and up by 7.30 (8 in the weekends) EVERY DAY!! Sorting breakfast for everyone EVERY DAY. I think you'll find your DH gets a bit easier once O starts moving (and following him around), he'll have no choice. Both my other 2 turned from mummy babies into daddy toddlers and so then it was his turn to have to do everything with a toddler in tow, because they just started following him around and even insisting that "daddy do it" . Mine went through a stage of refusing to leave him alone intul he relented and got up! So before long your dh will be doing his gardening with a toddler next to him digging up his freshly planted bulbs etc...

febes Whoohoo about your great night's sleep! Long may it continue!

C's being very grumpy today. I'm trying to get her to sleep, but DH is asleep upstairs and the dcs are distracting her downstairs with noisy play, even though they're only playing a card game.

Forgot to say pula That's the thing I'm looking forward to the most with going back to work: eating a sandwich in peace and quiet. I also love my breakfast when I go on an early, because I get up so early that I can have a nice quiet cup of tea and a bowl of cereal. (at 5.30-6 am). It makes the early morning worth it

Ses DH and I had a massive row yesterday over the same thing. I got up early as I had my friends DS yesterday from 7am and DD woke at the same time so I had 2 crazy two year olds running around having breakfast etc. DH and R stayed in bed. I was taking them out to soft play for 10am so when I hadn't seen R or DH at 9am I went up. I hadn't fed R since 3am so I was expecting DH to bring him down when he woke up. Apparently R had woken up just after 7 but DH kept him entertained and he eventually fell back asleep . I had coffee ready for DH and breakfast laid out for R but they only came down after I went up and got them. I asked DH if I could quickly feed R and then leave him with DH while I took the bigger ones to soft play. He refused saying he had lots to get on with. I said all he would have to do if give R his breakfast in an hour or so and other than that he could sit and watch him work or go in the walker. I was only going to be gone for an hour and a half. But no he couldn't do it . I think he felt bad as he took DD out with him this morning for a trip to B and Q.
MEN!! Their inability to multitask is shocking.

Pula Glad you are enjoying being back at work. I loved lunchtime when I went back to work. To beable to eat without sharing food, wiping food off my clothes and DCs hair etc was such a treat.

Belgina daddy do it . My DD is still a mummies girl but I encourage her to 'help' daddy all the time.

I know I've said this before but it really irritates me when the mother becomes the default carer with the father only providing care when asked to do something or my pet hate, "babysits."

DH used to be like this, probably because his parents have a really traditional marriage but he has now come round to my way of thinking!

I really feel for you guys, it sounds irritating.

Ses I empathise completely. DH works 6 days a week and every Sunday without fail announces a list of Very Important Jobs he needs to do. I say 'So, you're asking if I'll look after H?', he replies 'Yes, unless you don't want xyz doing', to which I retort 'Ok, if you don't want clean underwear/bathroom/dinner cooking'. There is then a bit of humphing on both sides, DH agrees to look after H after he has done some of his stuff then proceeds to linger over breakfast and generally faff about for ages and by the time he's done what ever it is it's too late for me to do anything . I have sat DH down and told him that childcare is 50/50 while he is at home. I've also explained to him that much as I adore H and love being with him, I need a break and some time to myself. He does understand but when it comes to the crunch he still wants to do his own thing!

Changing the subject - I've just expressed 3oz - yay! I'm really pleased because I've not been able to get anything out for months

HtheH welcome back to the thread!

bookmarking

will try and catch up later

Thanks for the understanding guys and sorry others are having similar troubles.

We ended up all going for a walk together this morning and have been into town this afternoon together which is better as it feels we're doing things together.

Llare has it spot on regarding the mum being seen as the default carer. I think I'm a bit of a modern thinking woman and IMO we should share O's care 50/50 as Spangle says, when DH is home. I still end up doing all the organising, preparing and feeding meals. DH seems to think that if he sits in front of the tv with O in the playpen, he's doing his share

I did ask DH to do O's tea this evening whilst I had a shower. He still asked me to prepare it first. How difficult is it to do a cheese sandwich and chopping up a pear?!

Oh, also meant to say DH got really excited about O making "dada" noises. Earlier when he needed his nappy changed, I asked DH who was going to do it and he said I could. O then (perfect timing!) said "dada" so I told DH that O obviously wanted him to do it In the end we both did it

Anyway, I mustn't keep moaning as DH does have good points. We v rarely argue about money which I know can often be an area of tension for many couples and he does make us laugh and he's cooking us a byriani for tea.

Spangle - yay for 3oz expressing. I've given up now and if O ever needs milk when I'm not around he's going to have ready to drink formula. It's not happened yet though!

Belgina - sorry for C being grumpy. Do you think she might be teething?

Pula - I am actually starting to look forward to going back to work just for that "me time". Just wish I was only going back 2 or 3 days a week! My mum expressed concern over my long commute (I have a min 50min drive) but I'm looking forward to that time on my own in the car!

HtheH - I think it was you that recommended the M&S vests, well I've ordered a couple from their website

Anyone up to anything exciting tonight?

Nope, nothing exciting! DH is working again so I am on the sofa wishing that I hadn't watched both Silent Witnesses last night. I might get the patchwork quilt out instead of mindlessly internetting like I usually do. Or I might do a bit of work, I don't know.

Like ses and others I'm also quite looking forward to going back to work in April. I'm going back in order to make an informed decision about whether or not to quit and work with DH, but I need to work for a few months to pay off a few debts we've accrued since DH set up the business. We've had an excellent month which means that we can stop worrying so much about cashflow but it also means that DH is working long days and some evenings.

I'm thinking of booking a mid-week break in March to Bluestone for a sort of last maternity leave fling before I get back to work. My brother went last week with his children and loved it. DH won't be able to come so I may ask my friend and her new baby so at least I'll have some adult company.

I've finished my first week of couch to 5K. This evening's run really hurt and I'm sure there was heavy air pollution this evening. But I managed 20 minutes and minute 11-19 seemed to go on for about 5 hours. Am now collapsed on the sofa!

ses I know where you are coming from too. So sympathy vibes from here. Like belgina says, as O gets bigger, it will change. I think the men relate better to them better when the LOs are older, and the LOs properly start asking for Daddy too. However, like the sound of the biryani so your DH clearly does have his uses!

My DH is in Amsterdam on a boys weekend at the moment. I dread to think what sort of state he is in, although they were all slightly worried about being able to do the all day bender!

So, my exciting night is being in on my own ( which I secretly like!!). I did make it out last night and my mum babysat and stayed over. It was a work thing and I did have probably one too many glasses of wine.Whoops.

febes hope you have another good night. And of course, everyone else too!!!

evening! i started a post this morning but never got a chance to finish it.. dh was up with ds last night 2-4am both of which kept waking me too with ds creeping in to 'check on me' and dh coming in to get something or another.. G fortunately slept till 6am and after 2boobs went back to sleep around 7am. i was hoping for a long lie in with ds being up in the night.. but he was raring to go at 7.45

ses et all re dc's dh's and child care.. another here that has no dc free time during the day 7days a week.. trips to the tip, homebase, etc have to be done at the weekend or the sky will fall in don't ya know!? at least now ds is older and far more daddy oriented these days.. if he escapes taking ds out he has an enthusiastic 'helper' with all his jobs all weekend

ds still up atm.. as soon as he's in bed it's going to be Dorian DVD time.. bought it this week but not had a chance to watch it yet. going to make some popcorn and do some more crochet hat making /pattern designing.

evening all. hope everyone has had a good day.

ses, everyone's given good advice, I don't have much more to offer.

I do know that as dd1&2 have grown, they've become much closer to DH. in fact, they can be really daddy's girls which irritates me: he's the lesser seen parent so is the 'fun one' and i'm the one who shouts...

today was his only day home this week so he's spent most of it with the dd's. i've forced requested he do the baths, bed stuff to spend more Quality Time with them (that's how I've worded it, anyway). and I got to do the house chores . he's off to work tomorrow so i'l take what i can get.

llare, so impressed on the running.

Pula, I'm jealous of you going into an office. I'll be working from home in the eve's from March. so I get to be a FT mum as well as go to work, best of both worlds . I do have a KIT day in London in Feb and looking forward to the train journey as well as the time away from mummyhood.

ladyH, open that bottle of wine!

febes, so glad you had a good night ,hurrah!

Fi, impressed at the crochet projects you're doing.

belg, is C still teething? H has been grumpy all this week and i'm sure it's a comb of teething and a bad cold.

spangle, hurrah on expressing! i haven't expressed in weeeeeks. have become lazy.

ok, time for supper. hope everyone is well and hi to those I haven't namechecked.

Evening all!

Ladyh - enjoy the peace. And the wine!

febes - at the night. But yay!!! Hope you have many more.

That's all the name checking I can cope with. DH is trying to get me drunk . He's been pouring me very generous G&Ts. Wonder what he's got in mind?!

Oh, and Ses, grr at your DH. They just don't get it sometimes, do they.

flippin lol at dh getting you tipsy.. as soon as we'd got ds asleep earlier mine asked if i fancied an early night and if i had any energy?!! i on the other hand was desperate for a hot cuppa, the other whispa i'd bought earlier today and a rest with my feet up

ooo and I didn't get a chance to tell you my apple bottom purple top (#4) arrived and it fits just as i'd hoped.. the low back sits above my bra strap, the ruching does help in disguising my handles, in fact i felt very glammy yummy mummy in it.. it even inspired me to wear a knee length denim skirt.. opaque tights and ugg style celtic boots! hmm maybe that's why dh got ideas

Hello ladies...

SES, others - I feel your pain re non-multitasking DHs. Drives me mad. Mine keeps asking me to hold F while he gets a glass of water / makes a bottle etc etc.... how the f (sorry) does he think I coped on my own for months?! Men!

Have tried to catch up - not been on for ages - combination of work woes and stupid misbehaving internet connection. The good news is I've sorted out another job within the company but it's only a year's contract. Not really bothered, lots changes in a year.

I also have a poorly, grumpy, nonsleeping baby and it's making me struggle.

Right, will try to be a more frequent flyer from now on. Have had a fab time catching up.

Fi your top sounds great - am

not proof reading this so apols for mistakes, off to bed - no doubt to be woken by either snotty baby or drunken DH (soon to be ex H at this bloody rate)

Gosh, I sound fed up!!! Tired I think and like others a bit at being back at work and having stopped BFing. And maybe a bit broody. My best friend who has a 15 month old has just found out she's pg again... Hmmmm...

reebee sorry you've got a grumpy poorly F & non multi tasking dh too.. they do get a bit better as the dcs gets older, more mobile and like belgina says chatty as they have to lol do you prefer the new job to your old one?

reeaally tired here this morning.. we kept ds 3.5 up an hour later last night in the hope he'd sleep 8pm till 6.30am am rather than 7pm till 5.30am. well complete disaster.. G woke at 4.. and ds at 5.30am. G went back to sleep till 5.30am on her own.. but ds.. no chance. oh well won't try that again!

Fi sorry about your night. 5.30am start - ouch!

ReeBee sorry you're feeling a bit fed up. Seem to remember you're having to travel a long way for work? Hope the new role is better.

Tee hee . Took H down to settle for a nap earlier and DH followed us and immediately dozed off on the bed next to us (why can't H do that??). So I woke up DH and said if he fancied a nap, perhaps he could snuggle up with H and they could sleep together. 20min later and it doesn't sound like there's much sleeping going on....

Fi, your night sounds rubbish, poor you. Can you have a nap today? F was awake 11pm and 2.45am, and then up for the day at 7am. I'm hoping that when he's over his cold and his top teeth are through (he's had his bottom two for two months so surely the top two are on their way?) he'll settle back to sleeping through again.

I think I'm going to like my new job very much. It's more technical than my old one which is good; more IS-based programme management. It will require a couple of days a fortnight in Staines which isn't so good, but hopefully I can work from home the rest of the time so it should all balance out.

Spangle crossed posts... about your DH and H not napping together!

I'm ok really, I was just having a whinge last night. Being in the office / back at work has definitely made me feel more 'me' again on the whole.

Off to my M&D's for Sunday lunch soon, hurrah.

no daytime naps here for me i'm afraid.. i'll just count the hours until ds goes to bed tonight! G fortunately is a good sleeper and will nap and normally sleeps right through.. one of her top teeth broke through friday and think the other is not far off. dh has escaped to sainsburys on his own and i'm just figuring out what to make us for lunch..

glad you think you'll be liking your job more reebee and enjoy sunday lunch.

ooo think i'll make yorkshire puds ooo or maybe just toad in the hole as i've got some lovely sausages!

Phew, DS has some difficult writing homework. We've just done a bit and I'm exhausted. I think we'll be doing a bit every day. I think it's really hard for an 8yo (just). He has to write an information poster for the elderly about keeping warm, he has to include technical vocab and headings/subheadings. Has to research the topic a little and take notes... We spent about 30 min so far and now he's tired + his attention span has gone I think.

younger I do think C's teething, which is making her sleep a bit lighter again. She woke in the night with a sudden scream and I've found that all mine do that the night a tooth brakes through and lo and behold, this am I looked and she now has another tooth (no6 . She's also still working on that poo (sorry TMI) and keeps waking and strainig. She's doing little, ermm adult consistency ones. Not hard, but harder than she's used to, so I presume that's why she's finding it difficult. I can imagine it's making her feel a bit uncomfortable too.

fi about another early start with you. Great that your top has already arrived and looks great too. Bet your DH thought you were a yummy mummy

reebee Welcome back. Glad you've got some work sorted now. I'm also looking forward to the commute bit of work. It'll be about a 30 min drive for me and I love driving and listening to the radio in the car. It shall be the best part of my day I think

TBH, my dh is quite good with the dcs. It's just the mornings that are a bone of contention. He will happily take the dcs with him to the tip/trips to B&Q or other builders merchants and always has done.

DH's night home wasn't spent doing anything interesting. He was filing his tax return online, while I watched CSI and did a bit more cross stitching. Something I started while pregnant and hadn't touched since then. It's a birth sampler, but not for C, for dd1 . I'd finished ds's one while preg with C!

Enjoy your sunday lunches ri reebee Dh is at work, so it's jut the dcs and me at the mo. We've got left over chicken and I'm trying to think of something different to do with it. (Not fajitas, not curry, not risotto)

Afternoon all. We got back from Cardiff last night after a lovely pootling around Cardiff bay on a boat (which I helmed for a bit... eeek ) and then to Barri Island for a play in the sand. Very nice. But DH is in a foul mood today for some reason, and is really winding me up. Everything I do is wrong, if I say 'pardon?' because he is mumbling it is me being unreasonable etc etc. He promised DD1 to do her homework and DD2 to make jam tarts this afternoon, but instead because he is too tired (having stayed in bed until 10.30am) he wants to watch the rugby instead. . I am being unreasonable now, because he is now doing the jam tarts and I am MN-ing, so I can't complain. But I will! I am being summoned to the kitchen to give opinions on how to do everything. Sometimes I think it would be easier to do it myself. Arrrghh !

Belgina how about a chicken and potato / leek / ham / vegetable pie? Or chicken frittata (chop everything up and fry it up, like bubble and squeak?)

Fi groan at your lack of sleep. Glad the top looks lovely, no wonder your DH thought you looked hot !

Llare respect at the running

HtheH how tricky with the soya and milk intolerance. I have no experience to impart, I'm afraid. But I can offer non-MNy Hugs. Sounds very difficult to manage.

Pula and Reebee glad you are enjoying work. My work is at the mo.

Febes so glad for you at R sleeping. Great news

Spangle LOL at DH 'napping' with DS

Ses I feel your pain at DHs. I wish I had been like Llare and put my foot down at an earlier stage, as now we are in a routine where I do all of the sorting out of the boring DC stuff (getting them up, dressed, all food, most nappies and toilet visits and most bedtimes.) That being said, he does take them off my hands to go do stuff (like visit B&Q, take them to parties and cinema) so I suppose it balances itself out in the end. I do get fed up at having to decide what DC and we are eating every day. Gets a bore after a while.

Poor H has got some kind of sickness bug . He's brought up everything he's had today. He's been having sips of diluted juice in his cup (he won't bf) but every time he goes near a bit of food he brings it all back up again. I gave him some expressed milk in a cup but that immediately came back up too. I'm just trying to keep him hydrated and will let him decide when he wants to bf.