April 2009 - Episode 11 - 'There's Something About Teutonic Penises....'

[Guimauve]

05 Mar: Kazkiss: ISABELLE FLORENCE 4lb 6oz & OLIVER THOMAS 3lb 7oz
15 Mar: Cakeforbrains: OSCAR WILLIAM 7lb 2oz
27 Mar: ZuluWarrior: Alexander James 7lb 15oz
28 Mar: FrogmellaMoonbeam: VIOLET ROSE 7lb 9oz

02 Apr: Oddeyes: ELEANOR 9lb 8oz
03 Apr: Bebemoo: MEGAN LILLIAN CONSTANCE
03 Apr: Bumpalump: JACOB 8lb
04 Apr: BabyBolat: KARAHAN 6lb 5oz
04 Apr: Kingbeat23: IRIS
05 Apr: JumeirahJane: MILLICENT ROSE 5lb 15oz
06 Apr: BoffinMum: FELIX DAVID GORDON 7lb 9oz
08 Apr: girlylala0807 JAMES EUAN
11 Apr: SpringySunshine: GEORGE NATHAN 8lb 15oz
11 Apr: RachelinScotland: CLEMENT JAMES 8lb 14oz
11 Apr: Lou031205: ISLA SOPHIA 7lb 9oz
11 Apr: Electra: ISABELLA CAROLINE 6lb 3oz
11 Apr: AuldAlliance: ALEXANDRE 7lb 6oz
12 Apr: Phdlife: Name TBA GIRL 9lb 3oz
13 Apr: MathsMummy27: AMELIA CHARLOTTE
15 Apr: Guimauve: HUGO GEORGE 9lb 2oz
15 Apr: Bronze: ISAAC JOHN 7lb 14oz
15 Apr: Kalikaroo: Name TBA BOY 8lb
16 Apr: PuzzleRocks: HOLLY ELIZABETH 8lb
16 Apr: Brettgirl: HANNAH GRACE 6lb 15oz
16 Apr: ReallyTired: Name TBA GIRL
18 Apr: Staryeyed: Name TBA BOY 7lb 11oz
18 Apr: Dawntigga: SAMUAL 5lb 11oz
20 Apr: Wrigglyfish: SEBASTIAN 9lb
20 Apr: Swaliswan: BETH 7lb 9oz
21 Apr: B52s: SAM MARTIN 7lb 9oz
21 Apr: Feierabend: HAZEL LOIS 7lb 9 oz
21 Apr: Mrsgboring: EDMUND 8lb 12oz
23 Apr: Tristalewjac: LEWIN 8lb 4oz
23 Apr: NuttyTaff: TIAHNA SKYE 8lb 8oz
23 Apr: Purplemonkeydishwasher: ISLA ELIZABETH 8lb 14oz
26 Apr: Carameli: THEO LAURENCE 7lb 6oz
26 Apr: Surprisenumber3: EVIE ANNE 8lb 2oz
26 Apr: Bicnod: OSCAR MATTHEW 8lb 1oz
27 Apr: Loobylaboobs: OLIVER STEPHEN 7lb 7oz
27 Apr: Gingersarah: VERONICA ROISIN 9lb 1oz
30 Apr: MegBusset: ARCHIE 8lb 15oz
30 Apr: Elpis: ISLA JESSICA 8lb 11oz
30 Apr: Ladyofmuswell: SAMUEL
01 May: Satheresitting: Name TBA BOY
03 May: Conkertree: Name ANGUS ANDREW 8lbs 8oz
06 May: Frekkles: HARRIS MERLIN 8lb 5.5oz

Sorry for not telling straight away - putting Orbit to bed.

So I was staying in a very posh hotel in Paris on business, with my boss (a woman). Separate rooms obviously, this was when I moved in corporate circles and we had expense budgets and everything.

On our way back to our rooms from dinner, probably about ten pm, we're talking and laughing down the corridor, as we pass a room near ours a man pops out of his door in his trousers and string vest - nice. He was about late thirties/early forties, a bit paunchy, you know the sort of thing. Anyway he saw us and dived back into his room.

Think nothing of it, go back to my room, potter about making a cup of tea etc. Next thing I know the phone rings, and I answer it, and a man's voice says 'Bonsoir mademoiselle, est ce que vous voudrais me rejoindre dans ma chambre pour un verre de champagne?' (Or something approximating that, anyhow, French a bit rusty)

So I'm thinking either:

• he dials numbers at random hoping to find a woman guest
• or it was the paunchy man who came out of his room to check out the girlies and then dialled my number cause he saw which room I went into

Either way, how many women in their right mind would actually accept this invitation? Going to a random stranger's room late at night for a glass of champagne, I'm assuming that wasn't all he had in mind !

Or am I just hopelessly naive, do people do this all the time?

ew ew ew

I hope that doesn't happen here.

I am currently plucking up courage to get something to eat, but I don't know this area at all and I am alone and a bit scared of going out. I have eaten all the free biscuits and the boiled sweets that were on the pillows, but I am still starving.

Anyone know a good restaurant near Place d'Italie?

Oh god. Will try and catch up later but just wanted to update on my childminder search.

Saw the first CM set up today - two women who mind together in one of their homes. While I was there they didn't pick up O or interact with him unless I instigated it (i.e. putting him on her lap - I wanted to see how she was with him - not really unreasonable in the circumstances!), they raised their voices at one of the children and a 14 month old little girl who wasn't being watched faceplanted in a booster seat strapped to a chair - I mean the whole chair collapsed forward and she landed on her face I couldn't get out of there fast enough and cuddled O all the way home.

Please tell me there will be someone lovely for O. please please please. seeing two more tomorrow and one next week and a few more to ring.

Saw a lovely nanny on Monday but having now worked out finances properly we can't afford her

Bumsticks.

Sorry have ranted and all about ME ME ME but promise to catch up later, haven't read anything so apologies if I'm ignoring something big.

Snogs to you all x

I have been summoned by Boff, so here I am!

Boff, your French is pretty damn fine. Unless you did say horse instead of hair, in which case they will think you are just another loony Anglaise.

Produits du sexe is funny, though, as it could I think be interpreted as meaning not so much that which is produced during sex, as that which is produced for sex (dildo, silk blindfold, natty whip, etc.).

The French for sperm is, in fact, sperme.

There is a restaurant called L'avant goût (26 rue Bobillot), which I have googled and it looks nice. Which hotel/street are you in? I don't know the 13th v well.

I've been watching Moo very closely today trying to figure out what exactly seems to be her problem (besides the obvious which is she has me for a mother). And I've noticed that she is biting down on things and pulling them violently out of her mouth. And when she does this she has such I look of intense frustration and unease that it's surprising I did not notice before (except that it's me and I'm useless at the mothering thing) But she has all 8 of her front teeth in?? So it cannot be front teeth causing the problem surely? Now she pointedly refuses to let me see inside her mouth and even putting my fingers in there is tough. I know she's got a molar coming in but do you think it's other front teeth or something wrong with the ones she has?

I'm not sure what else I can try to give her as i've done granules, powders, the pain syrups... is there something I missed besides just letting her chew?
And has anyone come across a good wooden teether? as she seems to prefer wood [hmm}

TMI:
as if my life weren't shitty enough lately fill in the blank.
sigh
what the hell is wrong with me?

LOL, essence d'homme. Very nice. Boff you are in Paris, what do you expect? Tcha.

My mum worked in an Italian hotel back in the 50s and one evening, asked by the manager to go round asking hotel guests whether they would like meat or fish for their main course (carne o pesce, if I am not mistaken), she went round asking everyone whether they'd like 'cane o pesche', dog or peach. She must have got some funny looks.

Bicnod don't worry, you'll find someone to look after Oscar.

Bronze yay for the viewing, fingers crossed!

What's up Bebe? You are NOT useless at mothering, how dare you even say that!

beb Sam does something very similar, I've put it down to him being a mad alien who I will never understand.

MotherOfAMadLittleAlienDon'tTellTheMIB'sTiggaxx

Bebe, I think it must be teeth. Don't know what to recommend (biccipegs or however they spell themselves?).

Boff, we should indeed have gone out on the razz. Would have been nice.
I'll try and find a symposium in Cambridge...

Apologies for not responding to any other posts, am in a mad rush and only came here because summoned. Will try and catch up another day.

I admit on the short term I'm a very good mother. like for a couple hours a day. But this 24/7 stuff...all I can think of is how I just need 8 freaking hours of sleep and if she could just leave me alone for 8 hours I might be able to manage.

Sorry.
I'm really tired. and not looking forward to tonight. I'm about to go to bed.

But too I seem to be sick all the time. I've never been sick so often before, not just colds, but flu, and upset guts etc. It just doesn't make any sense to me. stress maybe?

Who would pay £10 for a teether? But it's the only one I've found which is square edged (which is what she goes for in the wooden things in the house)

DH wants us to go out to a pub quiz next time i go down by him, only we'd need to get a child minder and in a hotel. Is such a thing possible? and would such a thing make you as nervous as it does me?

I'm to bed
sorry again for being so crap
this too shall pass
x

TT - And you didn't jump at the chance? You may have missed out on the best shag of your life.

Bicnod - Don't let it panic you though. I'm sure you will find someone wonderful. Have you asked around on here?

"Dog or peach?" Which was more popular?

Bebe - Poppycock, you are a brilliant Mum. If Moo could speak she would tell you so!
I wish I could make you smile.

How about my semen faux-pas from 2008? Here

Bebe - kitchen equipment? i.e. wooden spoons, various other wooden stirring implements, honey pouring thingy (ridges - nice!)? H loves all of these to chew on.

Right, will try to catch up a bit

TT I don't think I've said properly sorry about your mum and best wishes for Friday.

Nutty glad to hear your brother's condition is being managed. How you feeling about being tested?

Tigga Edmund can only crawl backwards and walk his hands round sideways. He's one frustrated bunny. DS1 didn't crawl till 10 months and I didn't crawl at all as a child (apparently this can be an early warning sign of dyslexia but I am very very non-dyslexic). It's horrendous waiting for them to do things isn't it? Even if you know you have no real reason to worry.

Zulu we have plenty of shrieking from E.

KittyCat hellooo - I wasn't on the thread when you were here before. Gabriella shares a birthday with my Edmund

Bronze good luck for the house viewing

Puzzle how are you and the girls now? Feeling better yet?

Bebe that chewing thing is completely normal. They're just working out what it feels like to clamp jaw shut and exploring the feeling of new teeth in the mouth. Also, how's the nappy rash? DH has similar skin issues (cracking etc) which are caused by allergies. Sudocrem contains a perfume which DH and DS1 are both allergic to (lavender) I've found I can't use wipes on either boy. Or washable nappies, or eco disps either

Surprise Evie sounds to be doing great. Hugs to your DS2. Our DS1 sometimes says he wishes he didn't have a brother and it's so but it'll be great for them in the long run.

Boff ewww hotel.

Bicnod about that childminder. I feel very defensive of CMs because I know several excellent ones and occasionally toy with the idea of doing it myself. The right one is out there for you.

Apologies to anyone I've missed. I am a bit rubbish.

Bebe/Gui I was going to suggest kitchen equipment too - a wooden spatula goes down a treat in our house. And a wooden spoon with a very short handle I bought by accident. Wooden spoon is also the ideal beater for musical instrument toys as it's far safer than the one that comes with them usually.

So why would Moo be sticking fingers down her throat and making herself throw-up? Any idea?

Just got a message from Mum - she's having an extra procedure tomorrow, to have a look at the lump, under general anaesthetic. Can everyone cross their fingers for her?

Thanks lovelies xx

wooden spoon's a good idea. I wonder if they'd splinter.

the sore bum seems to be a bit better, thought it was gone and then suddenly this evening we've got it again...now interesting I put her in a reusable this afternoon (I was being lazy and using dispy ones other wise) The M stuff you guys told me about seems to be working otherwise.

bebe, A does that, too. He doesn't know it makes him throw up, he is just trying to get at the bit of gums that are troubling him.

Wooden spoons and spatulas v good idea. Have never known them to splinter.

Bebe, you are exhausted & stressed and your DH lives on another planet (like mine, not sure it's the same one, though). Pub quizz? Are you mad fanatic pub quizz people? I'd be a bit wary of using a CM in a hotel even for a major unavoidable engagement.

(Excuse me if I sound judgy judgy, I just think he is not quite adjusting to the whole parenthood thingy.)

Kitty, am so pleased I spotted you and Fei brought you back to the crazy fold. Sorry the early stage was rough, glad things are better now.

Sorry, TT, meant to say I have fingers, toes and everything else (?) crossed.
Thinking of you and yr mum.

I've never been to a pub quiz in my life... I think it's mad too personally, though some of our (none babied friends go too)

I'm very cross if that helps any turtle... But really, I hope it goes well. Best wishes from the bebe household.

Lots of sane people go to pub quizzes, I know. It just seems to me that it's not really all that high on the list of life's priorities, and given your financial worries, d'you want to be paying for a sitter to mind moo while you go to a pub quizz?
Feel free to tell me to butt out. In answer to the key question, I would feel a bit funny about leaving a young child in a hotel with a sitter, unless they had been recommended to me personally by someone I knew who'd used them.

pub quiz
duh

Bronze - he did struggle a little when he started pre-school at 3 years and 3 weeks. His due date was 27th Sept-2nd Oct (was told different at each scan), and he was born 19th August.

When he started pre-school he couldn't even talk properly, but he did have a mild speech delay. I say he struggled, but he didn't seem to bother at all, it was just me who noticed the difference between him and his school friends. When he started reception he was still a little behind but by the time he left reception he was positively flying. In fact his teacher called me in to say how amazed she was with him and he was the first in the class to get a reading book (having finished all his word lists).

He is in Year 6 now, his best friend is a whole year older than him, and I do worry about him going to secondary school a year earlier than he should but TBH he is of the same height/maturity of his peers and, he goes to a huge school - 860 pupils, so they have sets for numeracy and literacy (sets 1-5) and he is in the top set so he has definitely caught up.

I do sometimes wish he was in the year below but he himself is doing absolutely fine and I'm sure your daughter will do too