Dec 08 babies are nearly one - PARTY TIME!

[EffiePerine]

As I accidentally filled up the old thread I thought I'd better start a new one

Thankyou thankyou thankyou everyone! You lot are all so nice. I did consider putting this in sleep but I know I would have got a load of CCing dissenters saying that I was cruel and stupid, etc, etc. And going on about "how my baby needs me, and I should just do what he wants", which just winds me up!

rubena I was mad against the comfort in cot thing as well, but it now seems to sometimes work for DS. And if I can resettle him in his cot then it is easier to leave the room than if he is in my arms and I have to transfer him. Though obviously not that easy re last night.

beans DS just wanted yoghurt, fruit puree and milk when he had stomach thing. In fact he still does just want that! Oh and rice cakes. But he didn't have a really nasty stomach bug, so it might be different what they can stomach. Oh I told DH to move out last night. This morning he says to me "Holiday inn is 150 quid a night!"

Anyway I am feeling much better now. I am going to suggest to DH that we do what is necessary to get him back to sleep for a week or so, until he is eating properlyish again. I don't think it's reasonable to say that DS is definitely OK the night after he's thrown up. And then we can do some kind of CC plan.

daisy DS's crying isn't in pain I don't think, but it is pretty angry furious crying that doesn't seem to abate. I just don't feel that leaving him for long stretches crying is really helping in this case. He doesn't seem to wind down at all over time.

I am sure I could get him to sleep in his cot if I went to sleep in his room with him, for say half an hour/and hour and then snuck out. I might try that. I do agree having him in bed with me is bad, but I guess the ideal solution is to teach him to go to sleep on his own (which he used to be able to do fine) and I don't feel letting him scream is doing that really. But then staying in the room til he is asleep doesn't really do that either. I just think it is a phase he will grow out of but DH isn't having that.

wg thanks for the offer of the books! I might take you up on that but will see how it goes first. I don't think DH will read them though and won't agree with me re what to do. DH has taken DS to be weighed (DH doesn't work weds afternoons) and I suspect he will ask the HV about sleeping there. Had better be off here before he gets back as he will hit the roof if he knows I have posted on here!

mom I also had been thinking of writing it down, that is a good idea. If only to say to DH "look he's slept through 5 nights out of 7 last week, that's good!"

And thankyou to everyone else who has answered I have read everything you have written but I don't want to respond to everything as I think it will make for tedious reading! I have probably grumbled on enough.

Oh and hurray for LadyT's finished book. Much luck with getting it published. Can't wait to read it if it does. Oh and I had a giggle at your not wanting to go to Egypt cos of I'm a Celebrity!! You are crazy, can't you record it!?

And I am most excited at walking mini-jj. DS is standing on his own now, but just falls over when he tries to take steps.

And beans I think that your DH is most unreasonable wanting to do an iron man (know I am late on this discussion). I would love love love to do more cycling but I never seem to get to do any at the moment. I remember the early weeks when DS was born just surviving in terms of sleep and if DH had buggered off for 10hrs a week to train for a sporting event I would not have coped. I think it's a really unfair thing to consider doing! SOrry if that is harsh.

Right must go before DH gets back, if he reads this I am toast!

SL: your approach sounds most sensible .

MOM: I tend to follow BRAT - banana, apple, rice, toast. Dairy and fats seem to be a trigger for DS1.

Effie thats BART But agree, avoid dairy on dodgy tummies, plain yoghurt does seem to help clear up ongoing upsets though. Unfortunately we have the opposite problem. Daisy I've tried apple juice, figs and have now resorted to a bit of my lactulose as she has had this problem for months now and the Dr just keeps saying that there is nothing they can do 'it will come'. Well it does come, and involves hours of screaming whils she tries to force out a rock solid enormous poo, and I cannot bear seeing her in that kind of pain.

Hello all! Not been on MN much recently, darn that life business for getting in the way. I have missed so many posts that I need some kind of digested read catch up.. I hope everyone is well though. All good in the Pandahouse though getting quite near to back-to-work/nursery time and slightly nervous about DD's total failure to drop any feeds. Still, office approved my request to drop to 4 days a week so that's good.

Right, better eat something, apologies for lame post after long absence but big hello to everyone xx

hi guys.
SL so sorry about your sleep situation. My experience has been that leaving P to cry doesn't work for us, because a) she seems to be able to cry indefinitely and b) I have to spend the night fighting my instinct and c) we get less sleep than if I get up and feed her and d) if I give in and feed I feel like I've undermined and let down dh which brings guilt but all intertwined with exhaustion...I agree that it needs talking about in the cold light of day because no-one really talks sense in the early hours. Really hope things pick up for you.
Well my HV came today to do the 8 month check . Anyway she asked how I was, I cried and said how I was really struggling with Lucy, and the upshot is that she's going to refer me to a parenting class. Not sure how I feel about it but haven't the energy to stress about that. She advised that I try to talk to my CPN sooner than next week but as I'm at work I can't really do that. ANyway she left without mentioning P! I said "aren't you here to do P's check?" and she said they don't really do them now and P seemed fine! I agree and have no worried about P that's fine with me - but I did wonder, if they don't do the checks, why she arranged to come round in the first place. L is strictly speaking too old for HV but she's going to help me anyway - I guess stuff impacts on P, who is on her caseload.
L is still trying me to my limits - yesterday I got so stressed with her I felt physically unwell - I had a tight pain in my chest and found it hard to breathe for a few minutes and felt sick. She's managed only one major rage today so maybe she's improving.
Anyway sorry not to do personals again. Failing to keep on top at the mo. Thank you to whoever suggested letting L have school dinners for a while. I took the advice - such a simple thing to do but it's one less thing to have to manage.
I'll try to be a better poster soon.
xxx

SL you've had loads of great advice so I will just add two things. Someone once said (possibly on here) do what gets the most people the most sleep including baby. Also I don't believe this bad habits thing. DS1 used to come into us when he was unsettled, I used to lay next to him each night until he went to sleep and all sorts of other things to help us all get sleep that many would say would make him have bad habits. He now quite happily goes to bed each night after his milk and book and sleeps through. He actually sleeps better than his cousin who was left to cry himself to sleep from day dot. I think you summed it up when you said that settling in his cot works for him, you are working with what works for him, DH seems to be going with what works for himself. Either way though it's something you to need to talk about because otherwise it's gonna be all very hard.

Trace that chest pain thing sounds really worrying, can you at least call your CPN. For what it's worth I think you are doing amazingly in view of all your dealing with. Your a brilliant lady.

DH had a nice night tonight, we cooked a pasta watch a dodgy brainless comedy and had a lovely bottle of red. Afterwards I introduced him to 'bleak expectations' which he really enjoyed and dropped very obvious hints that I want the CD's for my birthday. The only blip in the evening was a big mouse (quite possibly a rat) ran across our floor eeeeek. Will get some mouse traps tomorrow.

Still no walking from DS2 we got him a walker but it seems a bit light and he ends up flying across the room in it, but he seems to enjoy it.

Was going to say something in response to your post Daisy but can't remember so will just say hello. And hello mom how's your big walker boy.

Rubens what's happening with new York plans?

Hello Kiwi.

Summer, my eldest always has been a rotten sleeper and I really second everyone who says do what you can to get some sleep. 11m is too young to form bad habits IME and you need to get some rest in so you can feel human again. When DD1 was about 15m I got pg with DD2 and stopped feeding overnight, so we used to give her milk from a bottle if she woke! This was not ideal but was easily broken afer my MS passed and I felt better able to train her to go back to sleep without. E is so very young that I would just do what it takes and not worry about setting a bad precedent.

Trace - I have at times been under such sever stress that I have had bad chest pains.Am glad that your CPN is coming back to support you. If you feel you can't breathe, try breathing as slowly as you can in and out of a paper bag. I can't remember the science but it really calms you down esp if you are having a panic attack or one is imminent. Take care my lovely

Hello everyone else, hope ou have a good day. I've a man coming to shampoo my carpet and then this afternoon I'm starting the chutney making. A life of glamour beckons! Hope you have a good day.

Trace: just wanted to say hang on in there, you're doing a great job . DS2 hasn;t had his 8 mo check either, I've given up on our local HVs! I'd say take all teh help you can, the parenting class may be really helpful (and it gets you out of the house and talking to other paretns who may be in a similar situation). Only one major strop sounds pretty good to me.

Kiwi: good luck with going back to work

Morning Syb. Hope your all well. I'm slabbed on the couch in a state which is a little above vegitative. Poor DS2 was really unsettled last night. Like me he seemed genuinly desperate to get back to sleep but couldn't. He did a massive poo this morning. I really think his little digestive system gets quite uncomfortable with all the food he has to sort out. Hopefully it will catchup with his vast intake soon. Also my niece went to a movie marathon last night of that Vampire movie. She bought the tickets a week ago and it said it would be the old movie and the new one back to back starting at 8pm but we must have got mixed up with translation and it actually started at 10pm and we had to pick her up at 2.30am. DH went to get her as DS2 was awake and wanting me anyway so we all got very little sleep. DH is working from home today so might try to have a nanna nap when DS2 has his sleep.

SL glad things are looking up. As several of us have said, def do what works for you.

Veg, the NY plans are scrapped as the flight loads are terrible, plus dh can't get any time off extra in Dec. My dbrother may be coming over here instead but he keeps changing his mind daily so who knows.

Trace, hope the classes help and you feel better soon

Went to W'field yesterday. Love that place. The bright lights entertain ds for hours! It was very quiet there though since the last time I'd been dh came after work and we stayed for dinner at Pizza Express which was yum. I wish they would reduce the parking though. First 2 hours free, but if you want to eat as well you really need longer. The carpark had plenty of spaces really close to the shops too.

Weather is horrible so guess it's back to the work for work [yuk]

That does sound like a bad night Veggie! We had night 3 of quite long night waking at 3 am...he is disturbingly perky during these episodes. Maybe getting too much sleep during the day? I am a bit of a zombie at work, but at least I am in close proximity to lots of fancy coffee shops rather than stuck at home in my PJs like I normally am after a bad night!

My DS's walking is really coming on. My Dad counted 18 steps in a row yesterday! He can also get back up to standing from being on all fours (but still doesn't really pull himself up on furniture...strange boy). His new favourite game is playing with the cats - we have one of those fishing rod type cat toys and DS waves it around with the three cats all scrambling to catch it.

Rubes - I need to get myself to Westfield. It's a real pain to get there from SE London though. But my wardrobe is in serious need of some enhancement, especially now that I am at work and can't get away with "dressy" track suit bottoms anymore!

Trace - So sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. One of my best friends has a DD around your L's age (I think? She's 5 in May?) and she is really struggling too right now. Her DD has just started full days at school and is totally overstimulated and a nightmare when at home. Acting out, tantrumming, fighting with her sister (2.5 yrs). My friend smacked her for the first time last week and is beside herself with guilt. Maybe it is just a really tough age for littlies?

Very bad habit me being on Mnet at work! Better dash.....

Morning all, DD off for her second try at a full day's nursery - big massive waaaaah as I dropped her off, then while I sat mopping the tears outisde in the hallway all went quiet, got a report back from one of the staff which was she was dancing round the room with H her key person so fingers crossed she'll do better today. They're going to call with an update to stop me panicking again

SL you've had tons of good ideas here, nothing to add beyond you and DH do need to work out something that you both agree on, the middle of the night is not the time to try and make those decisions (we've been there...). MoM's keeping a record of nights is a great idea, so you can see if there's any pattern but also as a reassurance that he's going through a phase and will be back to normal soon. And if he's not well then definitely whatever you have to do, if your heart is telling you to get him out for a cuddle then go with that. Poor little fella, being ill is rubbish. DD had a sudden screaming attack last night half an hour after bedtime, she wouldn't be calmed down by DH so I ended up leaning into the cot holding her till she stopped crying, then leaning even further in to cuddle her while she was lying down until she was asleep. It's hard on the back, but definitely much easier than having to do the transfer into the cot once they're alseep.

kiwi good news about work going to 4 days. DD is still on 4/5 feeds a day when she's with me, we're hoping that the nursery days she'll just have a big one in the evening (ooer!) and that will keep things ticking over. By all accounts you and she will adapt to the new regime (if you're wanting to still feed her of course) as the old s have got pretty clever by now.

trace you are as ever being a tower of strength, it's great that you're getting support from your CPN and letting yourself do things that make life easier (eg the school dinner). Hope the classes are helpful, maybe it will be a 'real life' version of MN!

veggie hope you manage to get a bit of a snooze in. Yikes about the mouse, very brave of you not to leap on the sofa (or did you...?!)

Right, a day of peace and quiet beckons hopefully, so a cup of tea and a bit of trashy novel then tidy up, washing up, laundry, etc etc... [sigh]

Hello quick one from me as DS is asleep and I have to try and tidy our tip of a house.

veggie sorry about your rubbish night! poor little ds2.

mom v impressed with the 18 steps!

trace great to see you are still around! Very sorry to hear about all your problems with L. I guess the parenting class is worth a go. Sorry I don't have much experience of older kids so I am crap for advice. I have my fingers crossed that she will improve.

So on the sleeping thing, DH and I agreed a plan which is that we will carry on as I want (which is not letting him cry for ages, and taking him out of the cot if he is really upset for cuddles, and staying in the room to settle him) for a week and see how it goes.

Then last night he woke up at 2 cried a bit and went back to sleep

Woke up again at 4, cried, we went to him and he had been sick twice, both ends of the cot. Poor little man. so he isn't even better yet. AND I am sure that he must have been sick at 2am as well and gone back to sleep (I checked on him at 2 but didn't go in) just as I don't think he'd have had time to be sick twice at 4. Poor little sausage, and I am even more convinced his sleeping is not a problem if he can wake, be sick and go back to sleep again (even if that is gross)

Plus after cleaning him up the second time, I cuddled him to sleep and put him back in his cot. It took 8 minutes. I am even more convinced now that there is nothing wrong with the little guys sleeping, yes he may want a bit of attention going to sleep but that's ok surely?

i am going to avoid sleeping with him as DH is so dead set against it and also i don't sleep as well so I would prefer it didn't become a habit but as far as I am concerned all else is fair game.

SL - glad you sound happier with the sleep thing, but sorry that your poor little DS isn't well.

MoM/JJ - Very impressed with your walking DCs! DS is quite mobile enough for me at the moment - his latest obsession is heading for the bathroom, climbing the little steps we have for DD, grabbing a toothbrush and having a brush. All very sweet, but a bit terrifying in a tiled bathroom.

Kiwi - nice to see you on. Glad work have been accomodating. Agree with JJ re feeds - you and she will be fine. DD used to go without milk at all during the day when I went back to work from about 6 months, just made it up later!

JJ - hope nursery gets better.

Veggie - sorry for the rubbish night. SOunds like you are all doing amazingly well though with all the change in your lives.

Trace - good to see you on as well. Glad there is the offer of some help, hope its useful.

summer glad you had an okish night. It does sound like he is probably just unwell at the moment rather than a bad sleeper. Also forgot to say yesterday that I too don't agree with them forming bad habits ime. I had to lie with DD up until about 3 weeks ago to get her to sleep. Then she just said I'm a big girl now mummy, and no longer needs me there!

veggie sorry to hear about your rat/mouse and your unsettled night. Hope you get some kip today.

trace Much love to you, you are doing so well and am glad that school dinners has lightened the load, just a touch.

DS has been given lactulose by the GP this morning for his constipation. He was screaming with pain last night and really gripping to me. I could feel his whole body straining it was awful. Hopefully this should get things moving - anyone any experience of it with lo's??

BTW summer I din't mean okay as you slept lots but okay that you seem to know what it is that is wrong with DS and can start a plan to make things better when hes well - am I making any sense???

I need a coffee

Daisy: no experience. maybe try a q in Health?

Veggie: EEK at the monster mouse/rat, I would be lurking in terror with a large stick. Can you get on to the agents so they can nuke the place?

SL: see, you were right all along . Glad your DH is seeing sense.

Can I request some of your lovely basket vobes for my friend who has had to go into hospital for monitoring? She's in her last trimester and has been having a few issues. Haven't heard anything yet so hoping all is well.

Daisy - Not sure, but is it apples and bananas that are constipating? I find oranges, orange juice, and prunes keep things moving, and DS is very keen on all 3. I tend to give him a satsuma and/or a few tinned prunes after every meal and his "movements" seem quite soft (TMI).

Just heard from friend - all is well

Daisy - no experience of lactulose, but good things for constipated children I know people are keen on kiwi fruit, pear and even (cooled) fennel tea. The other thing is that not going very often isn't necessarily a problem in itself - friend took her DC to the paediatrician and was told that some children are just "infrequent pooers" and that was normal. Does sound like your poor DS is suffering though. Bananas def constipating - we tend to have the opposite problem here so ply DCs with bananas!

Oh and effie - glad all is well with your friend!

Daisy - we tend not to have much constiptation here (rather the reverse!) but when needs must I have let DD eat a couple of pots of fruit puree (the ones in pots that look like yoghurt pots - Hipp or whatever) and it seems to do the trick. A friend used to give Lactulose in milk as it was the only way her DS would take it. When I have needed it myslef, it has done the job in a few hours, and very gently so I hope DS will be better soon.

If you ever have a poorly older one with constipation, those fruit pots poured over a bit o ice cream are very effective. Useful when they won't eat and lots of paracetamol is bunging them up.

Feeling rather sad today. Can't think why. Bit out of sorts.

sybil not used to constipation here either! He's normally a 2-3 times a day and quite messy. So its a bit of a shock, no bananas here as he isn't keen. Anyway he has been munching fruit pots and satsumas/pears for about 3 days now but not much more than a 10p tbh. I syringed the lactulose in. Hopefully we might have some..ahem...movement soon. I did wonder if its because he has recently been having more cows milk (as a drink etc)

Evening ladies. No nap today unfortunately as DS2 fell asleep in the pushchair so did not nap at home. He seems to have dropped to one day time nap which is a bit but at least he naps a bit longer now.

Well the good news is the school was just wonderful. We met his teacher and she actually looked a little like his old teacher. The head teacher was just lovely, and they seemed really keen to have him and as soonas he wants to start. DS1 loved it so much he wants to start next week! We will be in London the week after next (well Paris first and then London but whose bragging) so will wait until after then to start him. It's only 2 weeks then til the Christmas break but he will get to be a part of all the Christmas stuff. The amazing thing on top of all that is that apart from excursions and dinner money it's free! DH and I were banking on it costing a minimum of ?2000 a year (probably a lot more) and it's absolutely free!

Do you know as I was writing this I started crying, I think it has really been worrying me, I think I'm a bit soft with DS1 but I just really feel strongly about how I want him schooled, and to see him so engaged by the whole it was just well emotional. The thing that was just amazing was that in my previous life working with a lot of schools I've met many head teachers who run the school like a business, which isn't a bad thing, but I've seen them show people around there schools and they focus on the buildings or future building works and their ICT systems and just the physical stuff. But this HT focused so much on the students and actually took DS1 into the classes and introduced him to everyone! It's nice because when be starts they will all know him or at least recognize him.
Right I'm going on a bit aren't I.

oh Daisy I think getting him that lactulose was the best thing you could do for now. Softening up those nasty poos will help. In the longterm, water does help heaps but is hard to get into them. You can try watery foods, like gravies or just meals that have watery sauces in them. Also I know you said fruit is not a favourite thing but pears are really good for keeping em regular (we used to give the oldies pear juice everyday to keep em coming). I had a friend whose son had a similar problem after having a gastro bug. It turned out he had become temporarily sensitive to dairy. She had to cut it out completely and eventually slowly introduced it. He's fine now but it was really sad watching him when he was doing a poo he would wail with the pain.