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Dec 08 - 9 months in, 9 months out!

999 replies

jumpjockey · 03/09/2009 21:34

Hope you don't mind the dodgy thread name but all our babies are 9 months old now or in the next few weeks

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Kayzr · 26/09/2009 10:56

Well I went to get a test and it is negative!!!!!!! Still got the annoying pain though. I've never had period pain in the 10 or so years I've been getting my period so not sure what it is. I was feeling awfully sick earlier but that's gone since I tested.

waitinggirl · 26/09/2009 20:46

madam was up 11 times last night. we are exhausted. the last time she woke up, she just wouldn't be put down in her cot, so i held her for an hour and a half until it got to 6.30 and dh could go downstairs with her. who stole my baby who might wake loads in the night, but basically went straight back to sleep 80% of the time, with this crazed baby who will only sleep on us?

she has also started proper crawling. and she has more teeth coming. can we blame it on that or are we destined to remain sleepless for the rest of our lives?

spotofcheerfulness · 26/09/2009 21:09

Oh Daisy and WG, that sounds truly horrible. I don't have anything helpful to say I'm afraid except I empathise and have the same thing about wondering whether to blame teeth/developmental leaps. i have heard that some babies are much more affected by such things, but I'm not in the same boat as although T has frequent nights when he's up ALL THE TIME, he also has good ones, so I always put it down to illness/teeth etc. WG, what has the sleep consultant said about the falling asleep on you situation?

KAyz, how are you feeling about the negative result?

I'm in total denial about the move, still haven't got my shit together, me and DP are such last minute larries, how long does it take to pack for a house move??

Am v hungover today (had a great night out with old friends last night) and am considering going out again tonight (idea that DP and I would play tag team and he'd go until 10 and I'd go after) but is that insane to be considering?

waitinggirl · 26/09/2009 21:40

spot - alas this started on thursday, so we spoke to sleep consultant fri pm, thinking thurs night was an aberration after 4 nights of great (for us) sleep. so we can't speak to someone until monday which is my first day at work which is making me shit scared anyway. typical.

it is the ticking timebomb feeling which is so completely debilitating. you feel there is no point in even going to bed and trying to sleep. she is generally going 40 mins between wakings. this is madness.

we are slowly losing our capacity to enjoy her. we know we have to let her cry sometime, but my dad and ladyfriend are here tomorrow night and mon night (looking after madam as i go to work), so don't want to do it when they are here. also keep thinking it must be teeth, so don't want to cause her unnecessary distress by leaving her to cry when in pain. this is awful.

spotofcheerfulness · 26/09/2009 21:51

.
I'm v v sorry.

zoejeanne · 26/09/2009 23:27

I?ve only been off the board for 2 days and have so much to report. DD had her first practise session at nursery yesterday afternoon ? I stayed with her and we both had fun. She was quite happy to roll off and play with a tambourine she?d found, and the children there are all lovely and came over to see her and say ?new baby? (those who are at the talking stage obviously) and the nursery nurses taught them all her name. She?s going back next Friday and I?m going to leave her for an hour or so, gulp. But before that DH and I are going away for a night on Tuesday/Wednesday and leaving her with MIL and my Mum - we are quite excited about some time together just the two of us, but it will be the first time I?ve left her overnight, so we?re also quite scared. This morning DD got the hang of crawling, instead of moving just one hand and then falling on her face, so I?ve been racing around today, picking things up just as she reached them. And last night I dropped her bedtime BF and DH put her bed. We were terrified of how she?d react, but her sleep pattern didn?t change in the slightest, so maybe we should have done it sooner and not worried about it so much. But blimey do my boobs hurt today, I woke at 3am last night leaking all over the sheets and they?ve been so big and sore ever since, and of course DD has far more elbows than normal and keeps bashing me ? ouch. As we were down to just 2 feeds a day I didn?t think it would be a problem, but ow! But enough about me ...

LadyT I am quite of your DD?s perfect behaviour in public, my DD is guaranteed to play up whenever I want to relax and enjoy a nice meal. How is the new house?

Veggie I hope you and the Veggie family are having a lovely time in Sardinia. DH and I took our first holiday together (when he was just my new DP) to Corsica, and we loved it. I understand they are very similar places, I?d love to go back to Corsica or to Sardinia

How did the nanny interviews go Lal? I hope you?ve found another good?un

WG how awful to be coping with such terrible sleep, you and your DH are doing so so well to be coping and to be thinking enough to follow the plan. Have Millpond given you a timescale when you?ll start to see an improvement? I think someone mentioned general restlessness/grumpiness when the babies started rolling, so I think crawling and over developmental leaps will be similar. I?ll be thinking of you tonight, and Daisy too. Not at all fun for either of you. Oh, and Trace, how are you and P doing?

PMK I don?t give DD any milk until breakfast, although that isn?t at a fixed time and is normally about an hour after she wakes. I noticed she wasn?t eating much breakfast at all and as I?d been slowly switching daytime BF?s to FF?s, I did the same with the first feed of the day. Except I think that one had been more of a nice cuddle to ease her into the day, as she doesn?t take any formula then and instead we have a cuddle in bed and a play downstairs as I get breakfast made. She?s normally on great form in the mornings, so I let her play to her hearts content and only bother with milk if she?s hungry and crying for it. However she is still feeding at night, once or sometimes twice, so that could be why she?s not hungry on waking

Did anyone see the news last night? And the 19lb baby that has been born (in Brazil, I think they said) He was huge, next to the other babies. DD still isn?t 19lbs, I can?t even start to imagine lugging that size baby around in me

daisydora · 27/09/2009 09:32

WG how was last night?? I'm hoping it was better for you.

DS was much better last night He woke about 1ish, and I just gave him a bottle straight away (he hasn't a milk feed at night for almost 2 months) But he settled after about half an hour and didn't get up till 6.45am. I feel so much better but wonder if he has beeen starving a night and I've just been ignoring him. Maybe I might try a bit of supper for him - does anyone else do supper? In fact he has just gone down for a nap in his cot and hasn't screamed the place down. So hopefully he has been ill and now feeling better/teeth about to arrive/just not hungry...oh bloody hell its such hard work isn't it?

PMK DS has brekkie first, soon after waking. He usually has a small bottle about 9ish and then a morning nap.

ZJ hope your boobs are starting to ease. Mine took a couple of days from when I stopped the bf.

artichokes · 27/09/2009 09:52

Morning All

I got a yukky tummy bug on Thursday night and was bedridden until yesterday afternoon. Not only was it horrid but it meant that I have hardly seen the girls over two of my days off so I just have today to play before I go back to work . I feel like I have hardly interacted with DD2 for a week, literally hardly held her, spoken to her, let alone played with her. Thats because the few hours I have seen the kids DD1 has dominated. Its really hard. I guess there are downsides to this working malarkey.

Can I ask you guys to think about how much eye contact your babies give you. I am slightly worried about DD2's reluctance to look us straight in the eye for any length of time. When I talk to her she tends to stare at my lips and mouth and the rest of the time she is obsessed with objects - toys, cushions, her feet. Do you think I should call the HV or am I being paranoid?

Urbane - I was very sorry to read that you found a great nanny but lost her. The exact same thing happened when I was interviewing nannies. This amazing woman came along and then got another job in the 24 hours that it took me to make-up my mind. Gutting. But although our new nanny was not as impressive at interview she is fine. I think the refs are vital. When a nanny comes with a couple of really glowing refs then I think you are on to a winner. They all have good refs but you can tell when a family really loved them. Good luck with your search.

WG - You poor thing. I think it is amazing that despite what she is putting you through you are still so mindfull of her and therefore not going for crying it out. It just shows what an amazingly empathetic mum you are. Madam is one lucky girl . Good luck with work tomorrow.

ZJ - I am glad nursery settling went well. Enjoy your night away. I hope your boobs ease soon. Have you gone from two feeds a day to none? If so I would consider a couple of "relief" feeds to avoid mastitis. I first got it when I cut DD1's last feeds.

LadyT - How are you and your DP getting on this weekend? I really hope he is still making lots of effort. Lol at him suggesting three kids in the midst of a relationship crisis. Men!

Daisy - I am so sorry to hear about your grandparents. Fingers crossed for their test results.

Spot - Good luck with the move! What part of Brighton are you going to be living in?

Kayz - Are you pleased or disappointed by your BFN?

Right better go. I can hear the morning nap coming to an abrupt end.

xx

pmk1 · 27/09/2009 10:09

Hello,
Thanks all, I am starting to think I will try and go straight to giving him breakfast (porridge) when he wakes up first thing instead of the bottle. Daisy I like that pattern you have there with a bottle before his nap. I am trying to avoid a scenario my brother struggled with - when his 2/3 year old would yell out for her milk demanding it be warm at 6am I could never get away with nothing for an hour. His last feed is at about 630pm and then he's in bed at 7pm so starving by 7am in the morning.

Had a lovely dinner at mil's last night, and today going to catch up on XFactor after I go out for a few things.....

Oh WG

Kayz, I was wondering the same. I have a friend who thought she may be pg again but didn't want to be. Finally tested and it was neg, then she was a little gutted! But happy about it again now.... How are you feeling? I'm hoping for a +ive every month but not so far

Veggie have fun!!

Kayzr · 27/09/2009 10:17

I'm quite happy about it. I think it would be very very hard to have another now. Plus I'm still a fat lump and I really want to shift it before getting pg again.

daisydora · 27/09/2009 17:12

I think DS might become a Prima Ballerina - he has just walked the length of the sofa on his tiptoes

jumpjockey · 27/09/2009 19:47

Right ladies ? time to catch up! DD had one nap today and has been up since 11 so went out in about 3 seconds on the boob at 6.30 ? and dh is at choir, so it?s my chance to sit and MN for a good hour without any guilt whatsoever!

Spot ? lovely to hear from you and hurrah for T?s chunky monkiness Good luck with the move to Brighton

Veggie Amsterdam! Yay! How massively exciting. Hope the family visit went ok in the end. Am v impressed with your story about your dh?s birthday ?present? Does that mean ds2 is out of his amby now (have probably missed this event ). Your comment about missing ds1 when he goes to school is really poignant as my dad showed me a letter my mum had sent to one of her mates (this friend sent back a whole batch of stuff after she died) and one of them said she was really sad that i was about to start school, ?just when they start getting to be a real person you want to spend time with, they get sent off to school?.

ZJ hurrah for clapping, dd will have one flat hand and one fist so it?s the right idea but doesn?t make any noise. How is the one afternoon at nursery going? Lovely to have a bit of time to yourself! Hope the boobs are ok, does the morning feed help to calm things down a bit?

WG darling is it possible to look to the long term, if it?s a 6 week plan do you feel confident that by the end of it Madam will be sleeping longer? Sooo wish we could all come and help in shifts. re your mum and cancer, hope you?re feeling ok about things now. It was very odd for me in France as our friends? little girl is just about the age I was when my mum died, hard to describe how it made me feel really but all the more amazed at my dad for coping with me and bro on his own. Really hope you get a better night and work goes well tomorrow, will be sending you a virtual elevenses tea and cake.

Arti sounds like you managed to rescue your hols from the depths. Turkish is a pretty unusual language to speak, how so? The new nanny seems to be a bit of a star, sounds like dd2 has the old separation anxiety thang going on.

Trace crikey to the mammoth vaccination sesh! I loved your description of P at nursery, sounds like she is getting absolutely brilliantly.

Daisy golly what a shock about your nan, she and your granddad sound absolutely wonderful people, keeping them both in my prayers. is your dh still on the sofa...? There was a month or so when I was in our room with dd and dh was in the spare room. And then of course she had our room all to herself

Effie hope ds2 is all better, poor lamb.

ladyT Veggie is as ever very wise with the work = identity thing. It?s so common for people to ask ?and what do you do? (and actually dh does it a lot, it annoys me ) as if our whole persona is tied up with the work we do outside of our homes. The whole idea that being a SAHM is only a passing thing before you go back to a 'real' job and not as important as being an employee is bobbins frankly, it?s very much work but of a different kind to what most people are used to. Crikey, don?t we all know that?!

Everyone re the relationships thing, it?s such a massive change that none of us could really be prepared for it. The lack of time for ?us?, the obsession with baby (all I ever talk about seems to be what dd is going it eat/wear/do and what she?s been up to), the difficulty of finding a bit of time to just be a couple again. And perhaps it?s hard for our oh?s to understand, because most of them have been working most of the time so have that other identity whereas we?ve been spending so much time being mothers as our first activity and the full time duty that brings. Those of you who are on dc2, are you looking on and nodding sagely because it?s just always like that when the first baby arrives?

MoM good news about the childminder, how do you think things will go with your parents across? How fabulous of them to do that

Oh and trace/MoM re flow (ahem) I?ve only had one very light period earlier this month, really hope it doesn?t mean pregnant as a) we?re finding life complex enough with one and b) well it would be a small scale miracle...

Urbane you did make me laugh with ds saying giraffe before mummy... Really sorry about the nanny, they must be like gold dust so fingers crossed for finding someone suitable.

Kiwi/Mom the long day in childcare ? we?re wondering the same tbh as dd will need to be dropped at the childminder at about 8.45 and I won?t be able to fetch her before about 5.45 if I leave work on the dot (and become one of those mums everyone sighs over ). Dh won?t be able to do any pickups as he works late on Friday and Thursdays usually over-run anyway so it?s going to be quite hard.

Well not much to report from us. DD has gradually been getting back used to her own room, sleeping pretty well though the bedtime routine is a bit iffy in that she's so keen on crawling that getting her to sit still for a nappy and clothes is horrid, she yells blue murder, and then the only way to get her calm enough for bed is boob. Which is fine, except that I've had 4 nights I think since she was born when I've not been here at bedtime, and three of those I've had to boob her to sleep anyway (sigh). So we're hoping that at some point we'll be able to wean her off needing the boob and onto coping with some other way of getting to sleepyville. She sleeps ok once she's out (sorry) but getting her there can be pretty tough - ecpet of course tonight because she'd been awake for 7.5 hours .

Other than that she's being pretty lovely at the moment - crawling all over, cruising a lot, climbing the stairs at a rate of knots and I still haven't got a stairgate [bad mother]. Details of return to work still up in the air, I go back on the payroll start of Nov and have all this leave to use but need to be back for the big 6-monthly project which starts in Jan. So not quite sure yet how it will all pan out.

OP posts:
urbanewarrior · 27/09/2009 19:47

I went swimming in the serpentine* today. In my underwear .

Was absolutely lovely swimming in the sunshine. And quite unlike me. Have decided to try to do something uncharacteristic more often.

That or have finally gone absolutely stark raving mad.

Arti I'm sorry you've been sick. And thanks for your thoughts on nannies - am sure you're right about references. Had 2 more terrible interviews yesterday - but quite high hopes for the ones I've got tomorrow. It's all consuming this childcare lark...

Wg and daisy I'm really sorry to hear about your bad nights. wg I really hope you get a break when your Dad and his ladyfriend are staying.

Njan - my DS does that too - in fact last night he got into our bed and tried to lie horizontally across our pillows.

Zj how exciting that you're going away. Such a good idea if you can. And the nursery sounds really lovely.

And spot if you pack last minute you're more likely to remember where you put everything. that's always been my excuse anyway.

Ok, painting bookshelves this evening. My life is wall to wall glamour.

  • large lake in the middle of London's busiest park
urbanewarrior · 27/09/2009 22:50

Should be clear that it was pretty respectable underwear, and if you weren't looking too hard it could have been a bikini.

And Arti I meant to say that if you're worried I think there's no harm in asking the HV - they might be able to reassure you. Depends on whether you like your HV or not. DD looks more at us some days than others - and DS definitely wasn't big on eye contact at this stage. He was usually too busy.

urbanewarrior · 27/09/2009 23:02

Hmm. Can anyone tell I'm panicking a bit about it now .

SummerLightning · 28/09/2009 09:53

Haha, urbane and we are all politely ignoring the nutter who went swimming outside in her undies in autumn!! . Only joking, I am sure it was fine and great fun!

arti re looking at you, sure it is fine, but like urbane says ask the HV to set your mind at rest? DS does look at me sometimes but often ignores me too and plays. I am sure there is a range of what is "normal" anyway. Is there something specific you are worried about, eg something that runs in the family?

wg I really really hope the sleep gets better for you soon. Cannot comprehend how hard it must be. I have my fingers massively crossed it gets better very very soon. Sorry but I don't have any advice, it really does sound like the waking every hour or so is no fun for her either, so I really hope it's due to teeth or something that passes really soon.

zoe sorry I think you have been asking about dropping breast feeds and I totally missed it. For me dropping breast feeds was easy from DSs point of view as he really seems to like the bottle as much as boob. I think I would have found it hard to press a bottle on him if he obviously wanted breastfeeding if you see what I mean. On the sleeping point of view, I didn't have too much trouble with him going to sleep at the night feed - he had started not feeding to sleep anyway and I found that him guzzling a bottle also made him sleepy. These days he is pretty good at going to sleep on his own, I should point out that this is due to nothing clever I have done but he has just seemed to learn it as he got older. Naps in the day were harder for a while after dropping breastfeeding but he seems to be doing ok on that front too now. Not much help I know, and sorry I didn't answer before you tried to drop the nighttime one. My advice would have been to give it a try and see how it goes as I was worried about it too and it was fine. And this seems to be what you have done!

Re stopping from my point of view, this was harder as I found I was really sore! Some feeds I dropped and my boobs hardly hurt but some it really hurt. And the last one when I finally stopped was the worst. There was one day where I hardly slept and couldn't pick up DS except right over my shoulder! But it got better quickly. I didn't do relief feeds like arti suggests, I looked online and there was conflicting advice on this and I decided not to. I was worried about mastitis though, but I didn't have any problems. I did take warm showers and massage lumpy bits in my boobs (nice), which helped tha pain and I think it meant to help prevent mastitis. It took a week for me after dropping last feed to feel totally comfortable, but the worst bit was a couple of days after. Oh and my boobs are now very small (only pre preg size, but pre preg size was tiny!)! Oh and my nipples went a bit wrinkly and horrible afterwards, but then went back to normal so don't worry if you have that..sorry if TMI!

Right DS is napping and I am goinmg to try and do some tidying up!

zoejeanne · 28/09/2009 13:35

at Daisy's ballerina and Urbane swimming in your undies!

Arti I hope you enjoyed your day playing with your DDs yesterday? I've not thought about eye contact before so I've just had a chat withh DD - she looked at me a bit, but mainly around at everything else, not in an avoiding my gaze way, more just a Mum is far less interesting than my toys way IYSWIM. I think she's a nosy curious girl. Is that what your DD does?

Jump I was just thinking about you and the struggle you had with DDs sleep the other day, so its great to hear she's sleeping a lot better. That too did pass! And I have a wriggler too, she's a nightmare to dress or change her nappy. I've mastered dressing her in the crawling position, but can't do the nappy as she dashes off

SL thanks for sharing about stopping BF. I thought about doing a relief feed this morning, but I'm feeling much better today after a shower and massage. And thanks for the nipple warning I've got a teeny chest too, so will miss my cleavage a bit

I handed my notice in yesterday. In the end work came back with a more than reasonable offer from their point of view, but I still couldn't make the commute work. So I'm buffing up my CV. I've now got a dilemma - do I try and continue with my career, although vacancies are full time and right now I'd prefer to work part time, or do I go for something different that would be perfect now, but would mean it'd be difficult to get back into my career later on?

Kayzr · 28/09/2009 20:02

Hello!!

Urbane I had a good giggle about you swimming in your undies!

Arti I don't think DS2 every really looks at me. He is always far too busy watching DS1 or playing with something.

Zoe Hope you work out what you want to do with work soon.

I must stay away from the Am I Being Unreasonable threads. There is a thread about someone being disappointed they are having a second boy. There is one poster saying that she finds everything about boys boring and she is really getting on my nerves!!

Verso · 28/09/2009 21:03

Hello everyone >waves<

I came on to catch up with how you're all getting on but have been stopped in my tracks by wg's posts. They remind me of DD1 - the 40 minutes between wakings I mean. I so so so feel for you. It's bloody awful and no one can truly understand unless they've been there.

All I can say in comfort is that eventually she got really good at sleeping. She did it on her own timescale, which was awful, but we never did crying-it-out and she got there. She sleeps SO well now. Occasionally she wakes up if she has a bad dream but usually she's out for the count - even sleeps through DD2's teething nights, which I can hardly believe.

Your baby WILL get there in the end - and you will come out the other side. It's just so so difficult to believe that right now, I know.

Don't much feel like posting all about me me me now. Things are pretty good, really!

Love to all. (group hug/basket thing etc)
x

Kayzr · 29/09/2009 07:47

Morning!!

AF is finally here!! YAY!!

I'm working 11am til 8pm. Not looking forward to being away from the boys for so long.

Hope you are all ok.

daisydora · 29/09/2009 08:47

Hello verso always a pleasure to hear from you

wg how are you? I am really feeling for you and hope things are getting a little better.

urbane pmsl at you and your swimming in thy undies

zoe would love to advise on the work front, but alas am still undecided what I want to do myself. Hope you come to a decision soon.

Well things here are grim. Ds sleeping seems to have reached rock bottom both day and night. he has gone from being a happy smiley boy to a crying grump who is constantly tired. He will only sleep in his car seat, so not good especially at night. Not a clue where to go from here just hoping and praying it passes Right off for some painkillers i have a 'lack-of-sleep' headache and am feeling a little sick.

Love to all xx

LadyThompson · 29/09/2009 09:46

Morning girls

Well, my exciting news is that it looks like we are finally going to exchange on the house this week and should complete mid-November (waiting for an exact date). We went to see it on Saturday and it looked nice but very daunting...And my other news is that DD can point to a couple of different animals in her book if you ask her where they are and can say "Ca'!" and "Dog!" when she points. This is very exciting as apart from saying something which sounds like 'Daddy' when DP hoves into view, everything she has uttered has been charming but completely indecipherable. Hope that doesn't sound boastful, as she doesn't know a cat on the street is a cat though. She thinks it's just that one particular picture Amazing thing, language acquisition. And yes, my dear nutty Urbaneski (swimming in underwear? In the Serpentine? How Virginia Woolf. Were you seized by the moment? I think being seized by the moment is good!) Much like the giraffe scenario, I fully expect to be vocalised last of all, somewhere behind Pterodactyl and Mesopotamia.

WG - how was work? I am so sorry you are still having such a tough time. Madam sounds very strong willed. This will be a wonderful thing when she is older and a great gift, but obviously makes life difficult for now. I presume if you stay near when she is in her cot she still gets furious? A lot of the books (damn them) say stuff like staying near and patting and shushing rather than lifting out, though you will have tried that a zillion times I am sure. Hope the Millpond lady can offer some explanations. This too will pass. It will.

DaisyD - how is DS now? And are you still thinking of the teacher training? When and where will you apply?

Kayz - should we be pleased or disappointed about the test? Bit of both I expect. Hope work goes fast.

Spot - so did you go out again on the Saturday night ?

ZJ - so glad your DD enjoyed her practice session at nursery. Just like Trace, I think your nursery experiences sound v reassuring. As for your job...is there utterly no hope of finding a part time position in your line of work? How hard would it be to get back into it at a later date? Could you start up on your own?

Arti - eye contact - DD is always trying to catch my eye, indeed her eyes are like gimlets as she is obsessed with having an audience I don't think it sounds like there is a problem with your DD at all, but if your HV is nice, ring her to put your mind at rest. Sorry about the rotten tummy bug, what a shame! As for DP, well...we did argue on Friday night again but the rest of the weekend he appeared to be trying. I am trying not to think about it for now as I don't want to make myself unhappy. I think it may just be a bad patch. I hope so. I think my expectations are probably too high, and I should think about all the good things he is and stop comparing him to DH . How is C getting on? I know you have only just gone back to work but when are you next on holiday?

JJ - good to have you back properly! Glad to hear DD is still nippy but sorry that work is a bit up in the air, still. So you are on leave from Nov to the end of the year, then back in Jan, is that likely to be it?

Hi Verso, how is your new job?

PMK - are you watching Strictly? Is anyone? I only watch once a week as Friday AND Saturday night are too much. And the episodes are way too long! Every time I see Tess Daly I look enviously at her figure and think of that snap of her in a bikini in the back garden about six weeks after having her second child.

Right, must get on!

artichokes · 29/09/2009 11:13

Hello Everyone

I am sneakily posting from work. Something I swore not to do again. But I am mightily hungover today and I have a meeting at 11.15 so this is a ?dead? ten minutes and my poor sore head cannot think of how to use it more productively (the hangover was worth it though ? DH and I, together with our neighbours, have been the local pub quiz champions for two weeks running ? fame at last!).

Urbane ? I loved the idea of you flaunting your undies in the centre of town. Really I am very impressed. In your position I would have been barred from seizing the moment by the pitiful state of my underwear. Seriously, I am often in knickers that I have owned since high school and their elasticity and colour tell the tale of the intervening 13 years. How were the most recent nanny interviews? Good I hope.

NJAN ? I realise that I never answered your question or where to find a nanny share. I went through a local nanny agency which was expensive but meant all the work was done for me. There are often nanny share adverts on gumtree or in your local NCT magazine. The cafe in our local park has a few cards from local families wanting to arrange shares. I think some people even try their luck on Mumsnet.

PMK ? Forgive me for forgetting to wish you many happy returns last week. I am glad you had a lovely day.

LadyT ? What a clever little girl O is. She obviously takes after you and has a love of literature. I agree that language acquisition is a magical thing to watch. N has a few ?words? now too. She roars like a lion when we all roar at her (obviously only a besotted mother things would class ?rarrrrr? as a word), she will sometimes say ?Ta? if prompted when she is given something, DH elicits the occasional ?Da? but like Urbane I am not holding my breath for ?Ma? anytime soon. C is doing fine - in fact her and her DP have already jetted off on their first foreign trip with T (they are in Tuscany this week). I ran into D & E on Sunday on the tree top walk at Kew Gardens. I am not sure D was enjoying the heights, he questioned why we really needed to see the tops of trees, but otherwise he and E seemed very cheery.

Daisy ? Sorry to DS is going through a ?phase?. DD2 was grumpting for England two weeks ago but is sweetness and light now. Hopefully it is just teeth or a virus that is making your DS feel so cross. I do hope he cheers up soon. Any news about your grandparents?

ZJ ? what a HUGE step it must feel to have handed in your notice. Good luck in deciding how to handle the next career step.

Thank you all for your comments on eye contact. I think I was probably just having a post-bug moment of paranoia. DD2 is just a very different character than her sister who would stare into my eyes and listen quietly for ages. In fact it was her favourite way to spend time. DD2 prefers to grab my face and suck it rather than look at it and she just never holds eye contact for more than a few seconds. However, she does look at our faces lots, and responds to what we say, and smiles if we smile etc so I hope its all just part of normal development.

Right, must rush. xxx

waitinggirl · 29/09/2009 11:36

hello and thanks for all your words of support (and surprising and lovely texts - you know who you are!)

work was fine, not great, but fine. my third lesson of the day (i teach in a drama school) was way better than the first which isn't surprising as i haven't done it for 9 months and only finished my training 2 months prior to that. i am overwhelmed with the amount of preparation i have to do, though. alas, winging it isn't on the cards any more. going on a full tube at rush hour came as a shock, though. i thought why isn't anyone giving me a seat and then realised i'm not pregnant any more. the last time i was on rush hour tubes i was nearly full term pregnant and going into work twice a week. also can't understand why people aren't high-fiving me simply for being out without madam, but hey ho.

well... sleep is slightly better, bututterly unpredictable and she wakes wiht a wail all the time and falls asleep immediately we pick her up. we have obviously done well at replacing the boob sleep association with a pick me up, whoops i'm asleep, don't you dare put me back in my cot or i will scream my lungs out association. i don't think it is teeth as the two top ones are now firmly through and madam may wail, but then falls asleep immediately in our arms. generally if we wait until she is truly asleep, we can pop her back in her cot, but any time from 4.45am onwards, that doesn't work. which means that 3 nights ago i held madam from 5-6.30 so she would sleep and dh could sleep, 2 nights ago he did the same for me so i could get my sleep unti 6.15 when i had to get up anyway, and this morning i thought bugger this and got up and started the day at 5.15, only to have madam fall asleep on me from 6.45-8.15. we have to break this holding to sleep association.

so tonight, with consultation from millpond, we are - gulp - doing cc. please don't hate me. please, don't, i hate myself enough at the moment. i know cc divides people massively, but we have got to a point, where we could either wait for her to sort it out herself (like the lovely verso told us she did), or we try to sort it right here and now. we have got to the point where we can't really function and are desperate to reclaim some of our lives back, so this is what we have decided to do. we have friends who have done it and they all say it has worked for them. i can only hope.

the thought of it makes me sick, but then i also think that i have allowed madam to become accustomed to falling asleep on us (only since taking the boob away), so in a sense i am correcting my behaviour which will in turn help her to realise her cot is a lovely place for her to sleep. we may be downing wine in huge quantities to get us through tonight.

wish us luck!

waitinggirl · 29/09/2009 11:38

oh, and don't hate us, please