Dec 08 - 9 months in, 9 months out!

[jumpjockey]

Hope you don't mind the dodgy thread name but all our babies are 9 months old now or in the next few weeks

Sometime before half 1 they said. I really want to go out as I need some eggs. Stupidly decided to make my brother a big fancy cake for his 21st. So I have got to practice it!

Beans: note that DH isn't volunteering to actually take on any of the childcare! Re: the Ironman, I can see why you'd be cross at the idea. Then again, you could say that you'll be even more busy the following year with two mobile children under 3, so is there a 'good' time for him to do it? Maybe he hasn't got his head round the idea of the extra work that comes with two children, esp with a small age gap. I would say that if he does go ahead he needs to make sure you have the extra help you need in terms of childcare (I'd heartily recommend at least one day's childcare for your eldest whe you're heavily pg and when the baby is tiny). If he can;t hep you then you need someone who can!

Thanks Effie - that's kind of what I was thinking too. Maybe getting someone to help out - I'd love an aupair as it's relatively cheap way of daily childcare - but we've only got 2 bedrooms!!!! So wouldn't be able to do that. PLUS DH doesn't like the thought of a stranger living with us. Which I can also understand. And sympathise with. Mind you, in the big scheme of things, I don't think it'll really matter whether he does the ironman or not - I'll just quietly seethe and resent it for the rest of our married life - hee hee!

Hello ladies just ducking in quickly my niece has taken the boys to the park and I've tidied the house and just about to go out and meet them and do some shopping.

Beans I can understand your seething, I'd love to do a half ironman it's kind of a dream of mine but with the kids to look after and still BFing I don't imagine it's anything I'll do for certain until I'm the otherside of 40. Why do us women have to hold off on stuff and not men.

Effie, I think go for it. And don't feel guilty we are made to feel guilty by everyone around us whatever we do so don't add yourself to the list.

Kayz nightmare about the water. You could always ring them back and tell them you can smell gas around the boiler.

Oh and Beans I recommend the childcare I love being with DS1 but I couldn't have gotten through the pregnancy with out his 3 half days at nursery. The au pair sounds lovely. I have loved having my niece here I think I'd love an Aupair.

Beans, I would definitely recommend some sort of help for the end of your preg. TBH, I found that more exhausting than the newborn days. As for DH doing an ironman, my DH recently did a 90 mile cycle near Hay on wye which involved lots of training. Suffice it to say I was not pleased and would not recommend it for marital harmony with 2 under 2. But then I am a grumpy cow at times .

Verso - now you are better, I'd love to meet to hand over Ikea goodies. When are you free? Text me darling.

Trace - sympathies to you. My Lucy is also not quite 5 but has the tantrums, usually when very tired or feeling worried or unwell. Can you make her laugh? If I do that iwith my Lucy, then she will often lighten up and tell me what's wrong. Alternatively, a bit of mummy time with a babycino out for her without the others can often break the deadlock. Is that something you could squeeze in around your work and P? Much love to you, sounds horrible.

Hope water all sorted now Kayz.

Hello everyone else, hope you are all well. I am shattered today. At night, i had all 3 of them up at one point and then got up for work at 6am so a bit sleepy now.

A one year meet up sounds gorgeous - as many of us are working or with older children etc in the day, could an evening jaunt be in order? We could all bring photos of the nippers along. We could even do a one year Secret santa like last year????

Love to you all. Must go as someone at door.

Good evening lovely ladies! I'm back from the wilds of Bonnie Scotland (which was very Bonnie actually). Not sure i stand a chance of catching up on everything. But....

veggie glad the move has gone well, even if you did have a flat nightmare initially. You amaze me such a thing would have had me on the next flight home but as ever you take everything in your stride.

kayz I do hope you got your hot water back. If not spend tomorrow ringing them every hour on the hour, you have small children fgs!

beans did you say you were having a scan? How did it go? Re: Ironman, I do think that your DH isn't thinking about how hard things will be for you with two small children to look after. But then I do thing a lot of men have no clue whats involved and how hard it can be!

verso sorry to hear you have been poorly, but great to hear you are back on your feet!

Hello to everyone else, I can't remember all your news but I hope your all well.

DS is still the non sleeper from hell (but we now have 2 teeth!!) The one good thing about being away was that I got to go back to bed everyday to catch up on lost sleep. His cough is worse than ever, inhaler not doing anything so back to the Dr's in the morning. He has started coughing so violently that he is making himself sick - its awful to see

Oh and I had a job interview this afternoon. It went okay not sure i actually want the job, but its local and pretty decent pay. Plus the interview experience was good as its been about 5/6 years since my last one. I'm just glad I never made a complete fool of myself!

Hello girls

I was ok in the end (well, sort of - I still have swollen glands etc but I am ignoring them) but it's been a busy weekend and also it was the anniversary of my DH's death which is unsurprisingly never all that smashing. Went to watch DP play in a gig (he was good actually) so DD went to the babysitter for the night as it was miles away. She had a lovely time and has been to this lady a few times before, but when we collected her she cried piteously and was angry (wouldn't let me cuddle her, cried harder when DP tried to talk to her). It was really strange. It seemed like it was only when we showed up that she cottoned on that we'd been missing. I felt so guilty. The other thing is that for the past few weeks she keeps grinding and clacking her teeth together and I don't know how to stop her as I am worried she will damage them.

Kayz - how was London?

Aubi - I had the idea for the book years ago and started it ages ago but I have written three quarters of it in the last year. As to Biscuitgate - I did think from the reporting that it made MN sound rather silly and juvenile (and as if all we cared about was biscuits) and it seems that that is borne out by what you say. What a shame. I will let you know about a Sunday coffee but at this rate it will be 2010! Loving the list of gifts. Ha. Brilliant.

Urbane - how were the many job interviews today?

Kiwi - I am temporarily having an inspiration drought re: postable gifts but I will think harder!

Trace - I love your stories about Lucy, I always think she sounds extremely intelligent. (I know she is being naughty at the moment and causing you grief, but that aside I think she sounds an incredibly interesting child).

Beans - how did the scan go? And I'd be cross about the Iron Man malarkey...but then I'd probably feel guilty about feeling cross and then I'd feel resentful at the guilt. So don't take your cue from me, I'm an idiot!

Sybs - Secret Santa is a fab idea I reckon. Last time one of Jam's friends organised it and I don't know how we'd do it this time.

Veggie - thanks for your concern but actually I think I don't work hard enough! What's the latest with you and your new life?

Welcome home DaisyD.

Right, that's me, I must go to bed....

Morning,

Still no hot water. They are replacing the emersen(sp) heater on Friday!! So it is washing up with water from the kettle and we're going to Mums tomorrow for a bath! The repair bloke has turn the heat up so the little hot water we do have will be hotter so we can use less of it.

LadyT We go to London this Friday. I'm really hoping that Westfield is as good as everyone I know that has been says it is. MIL is very worried we'll get shot or something as this is what happens in London and especially Fulham apparently and why couldn't we have stayed somewhere like Chelsea. DH did point out that they are right next to each other so it wouldn't make much difference.

Another stupidly early night. Anyone got any tips to make DS2 sleep later?

Oh and on this Sunday just gone. DS2 was walking behind a push along Thomas toy!! Usually he just holds the handle and falls over but he actually walked around the room. He looked so pleased with himself. So I got out DS1's lion he had so now DS2 is pushing that around. The look of delight is just so sweet.

Hope you are all well and asleep!

Thanks for asking ladyt - interviews were fine really. I think. But has made me realise that I probably don't want to leave my current job. They are very supportive of working flexibly etc. and feel like I'm not really up to going and having to work really hard to impress somewhere new. Lazy really. But DH and I have also had lots of conversations about what we should do in general, and think we are both going to look to work school hours (so finish at 3ish) so we can have more time together and with the DCs. That's the plan anyway...

Am sorry your DD was grumpy with you when you picked her up - we had exactly the same thing from DS when he was a bit older - left him at his grandparents and he really sulked with us. Very upsetting for you but am sure doesn't do any harm. DS can talk now and he's yet to bring it up

Bad night here - everyone full of cold. Poor DS got a terrible cough that kept him up all night...I've already watched the whole of Cars and it's half six. Also my new top tip for prospective parents is to buy a bigger bed. Ours is only a double and it's getting ridiculous.

Daisy I hope the Dr can do something else for your DS.

Syb I think an evening out is a great idea

Trace I hope things are better with L - I agree with LadyT she sounds so bright . Which I'm sure is no consolation when she's slamming doors. Have you got 'How to talk?' I can stick it in the post if you want to borrow. I don't know if it would help at all but I thought it was quite interesting about children feeling things they can't really express so it often comes out as rage.

Better go. Am not sure work going to get much value from me today...

Kayz am sorry about your water situation. That's really shoddy to have to wait until Friday.

And another walker DD has started standing up by herself - but she does it and then gets so pleased with herself she falls over. V funny to watch.

Sybil so good to hear from you - fabulous idea I def need an evening out. I just got rather cheerful at a 1 year old birthday party! They are a lot more fun than I thought I stumbled across this "naughtymummy" thing on FB a group for mums of SW London kids and i've been trying to work out what it's all about as it's just down the road from my old place!

Kayz enjoy London - your mil is such a twit - i used to live in Fulham - great area. The Blue Elephant - fantastic Thai! Good news on the walker! Oh and tips for the morning - (bad parenting alert) ignore! He'll get the idea

Urbane - we've got a Super king - couldn't live without it and have even squeezed it into tiny rooms in the past. In the first few weeks when ds was tiny we had him on one of those sleeper things in the middle and still plenty of room! Hope your household gets better soon

Beans - dh is the same - i'm trying to get pg and he's planning some races in Spain for next year requiring training and travel! I just go with it now as i've kicked off before but then I just feel guilty later when he does nice things to make up for it etc so prob shoulfn't listen to me either.

Q- Is it bad to have milk from a soft spout cup? (ie a bigger Nuby style)

Oh and Kayz - Westfield is wondeful!! the restaurants are great. GBK always packed though so a really long wait b ut always worth it Baby changing facilities brilliant and they have a very nice bubbly pink cheerfulness bar which is quite pricey but very delighful even if it is just for one

Lady - I can't imagine O cried! don't feel guilty though - it's good for her.

beans how was the scan?

katie - any news this month??

Oh Kayz, no hot water is the pits. Very sorry for you. And well done to DS2! And as for Fulham being full of gun totin' crims, you can assure your mother-in-law that it's full of people with fruity voices who can't quite afford to live in Chelsea, so the only accident liable to befall you is tripping over someone's abandoned bowtie or alice band. I hope you have a lovely time and second the big up for Westfield - and the baby change and feeding facilities are something to behold.

Rubes, yeah, she doesn't cry much so her having a full on furious crying and angry spell was quite a shock, particularly as she usually gives us a lovely greeting. She is very happy with the lady who looks after her, who utterly dotes on her, and apparently she had been happy as larry all the time we were away...I do think she has got to get used to my not being there sometimes, though. I suppose she is used to coming with me everywhere.

Urbane, how do you manage with a double bed? Mind you, DP is fat and so am I now and if we had a double bed it would be untenable

daisy/urbane - glad the interviews went well - even if you're not that interested in what's on offer, it must be a bit of a boost!

Kayz - I guess at least they know what's wrong with the water and can fix it. Annoying that it will take till Friday though. Have a fab time in London.

Beans - the Ironman dilemma is a tough one. You really do need help around with 2 under 2, but its also hard when you feel like you have to give up all your usual activities/interests when you have children! I think if he does it, then it has to be on the basis that you get time to yourself as well e.g through extra childcare or something. The other thing is to work out ways as much as possible to do things all together that you enjoy. Its hard with a newborn, but eventually maybe you can do things like cycle/walk as a family with DCs in bikeseats/back packs etc? (OK its nothing like training for Ironman, but its something like a middle way...)

LadyT - DS is also definitely starting to have views about whether we're around - I'm afraid it only gets worse, but it doesn't do them any harm! Take it as a compliment that she would like you around.

We have a super king bed too and wouldn't be without it! Makes a big difference when you have small people in you bed...

Rubena - don't think there is anything wrong with milk from a soft spout - I'd have thought its a reasonable halfway house between bottle and cup...

DS is a little monkey at the moment - getting stuck into all sorts of things he shouldn't. We have these gas fireplaces with (fake) coals in them, which he makes a beeline for at every opportunity and munches. You'd think after the first couple of times he'd figure out they didn't taste very good . Not sure what to do - we had a relatively laid back approach to childproofing with DD...

DD is hilarious at the moment. Was getting dressed for work this am, with a slightly flouncy (but dull black) skirt and I get this commentary "I like your skirt mummy, its very pretty. Is it for doing ballet?" No idea where that came from, she's only 2.5 and we don't have too much of that girly ballet type stuff around.

Ah, was just about to go off and, Invis, you have sucked me back in again...Maybe it's a sign you should take up ballet. It's never too late. Actually, I am not being serious (I had to qualify that as I usually think it's never too late for anything). I'd quite like DD to do ballet but only because the tiny ones look so cute bimbling around in their gear. But if it's Saturday mornings that puts an unwelcome dampener on my social life - but given that the child is 1 in a fortnight and can't move except to flap her hands, I may be getting ahead of myself. Hey - maybe MY child is not going to bother with crawling or walking and will just fly

Urbane - forgot to say, hope you all feel better soon. I am with you on thinking about the whole 'how my life is going to work' thing. By this time next year I need to be earning money. And then there is the whole when and how thing...particularly if I think about having another kid. It seems cynical to wait until I have got a job so I can then get mat pay. Sigh...right, MUST get on with my stuff...

Ach - just one more thing - Kayz, have you been doing any driving? It is number one on my To Do list - get some refresher lessons...

LadyT - I did do the ballet thing in my dim and distant youth - I was the clompy one at the back - not a natural! Fraid I am sadly talentless in these creative directions, am also the only one who failed the school choir audition for being completely incapable of holding a tune...(Still, better than DH - he was paid off by the choirmaster not to show up). Hopefully DCs are a bit better than that score - definitely won't deny them the opportunity to have a go!

Urgh, I am ill AGAIN. I hate this. I feel like I have severe morning sickness except I know I am not pregnant. Its only 3 weeks since my last vomiting virus. Its so depressing, I just don't know what to do.

LadyT - Poor little O and poor you being made to feel guilty. I think anger is a very common reaction in babies when a parent goes away. When DD1 was 18 months DH went to Australia for 10 days. When he returned she was furious and actually hit him and screamed at him for about 20 minutes. He was devastated and I actually cried watching it happen. She was clearly overwhelmed with emotion and did not understand how she felt or how to express it. Like O she had been happy as larry while he was gone. Our babies are now at the age where attachment really kicks in. Its evolutionary, as they get ready to walk their brains tell them to stay with Mummy to stop them wandering into danger. Therefore I would be prepared for more of the same for a while.

Urbane - I know that fear that comes when you consider leaving the CS for the private sector. Is any private company likely to be as understanding about family commitments etc, will it really provide as stimulating work, is the money worth it??? I have interviewed for a few private sector jobs and was offered one which was twice my salary but a quarter of my holidays... I just could not do it. But its nice your interview went well. I think your plan to arrange your work so the whole family is together after school sounds blissful. Really, really lovely. And how great that your DH wants to do it too. I hope you can make it work. Oh, and next time you have work in my building e-mail me and we can grab a coffee. I will send you my work e-mail via FB.

Kayz - Lol, lol, lol at your MiL thinking Fulham is rough. It is the home of the Sloane nowadays. All areas in London are mixed but I agree with LadyT that you are at more danger of tripping over an alice band than being shot (love that line LadyT!). Have a great weekend and enjoy the hot water in your hotel.

Invisible - If your DD is anything like my DD1 then you will hear nothing but ballet and princess references from now on in. I was always a tomboy as a child and I have no idea how I spawned such a glittery, pink girly-girl. Its fun though, like having a little friend to ask outfit advice of.

Effie - Will your full time job be in London? If so you are going to have more reading time than anyone! Good on your DH for being so supportive, I hope it all works out.

Beans - I would find the ironman proposal very hard to stomach. But then I feel strongly that DH and I chose to be a family and the majority of our "spare" time should be family time. We are all happy when we are together and nobody feels burdened or resentful. When DH is out/away at weekends I find it much harder than when I am in charge of the kids during the week. During the week I have lots of other local Mums I can hang out with and there are all sort of play groups and activities to keep us busy. But at weekends the other Mums are with their families and no activities are run. Do you think your DH realises the impact his training will have on you?

Right, the nausea is overwhelming again, am going to try lying very still.

Yay Lady!! Get your license and come and visit me....!! Dh is working SO much at the new job and has to do resident on calls now as we live further so I find myself twiddling my thumbs... I started my return to work work last night though - but after I return I won't be busy again which sounds rather backwards but true! I could always drive over to visit you too however I am a bad influence and never come over "sad" or empty handed I think you are the closest to me? No? Sybs not quite sure how far you are - what's your area again?
Invis - thanks, I'm going to stick with it for now then as I've ditched the bottles and he necks his milk quite quick in his new one! He has a cup of milk with his breakfast, but he needs quite a bit of practise before going with it full time. We would need a cow in the back yard to keep up with the supply if I did that with all his spills and wastage!

LadyT I've stopped driving for now. I still get really scared behind the wheel. I will probably start up again after Xmas as I really want to be able to drive.

On the subject of driving. My brother has his test at 11:40 tomorrow. So I have everything crossed for him. I really hope he passes.

Yikes I've got a second interview on Thursday.

DS now has to take some funny powder stuff once a day with his tea, which apparently can be more effective than an inhaler in some infants. He has two weeks worth, so i am hoping that it works and gets rid of this bloody cough. He was awake and coughing from 3am last night and the only way he would sleep was upright. So I ended up with him asleep on me, so I got very little sleep from 3am (if any) but I did get a stiff neck sat bolt upright with a hefty babe on my lap!

ladyt DS has grown very attached to DH and I. He screams if we leave the room to make a cup of tea.

Daisy: hope the powder works. And good luck for the second interview - they were obv v impressed!

Urbane: I think it's always interesting to go for other jobs and go through the interview process whatever you decide. Which is how I'm veering to the job I'll apply for. I haven't done a proper job application for 10 years so if nothing else it'll be very good practice. Re: the p/t working, I'm thinking vaguely about aiming to work p/t by the time the boys are in school, asi'd like to be around to fight their corner if necessary.

Aub: and the potential job is London-based though slightly closer to the station than I am now. Sorry to hear about your bug and hope you feel better soon. It;s the worst time of year for getting ill, esp if you have the double whammy of office germs and nursery germs by proxy.

Kayz: grrr at the delay in getting your hot water back. Am also snickering at your MIL's idea of dangerous areas of London, if you were staying down the road from our old flat (generally known as Murder Mile) she may have had a point. Mind you I was listening to a Baltimore journalist on the radio who visited Brixton and was pretty bemused at the idea that it was a perious gang-ridden hellhole. All relative I s'pose.

LadyT: I get that with DS2, I think it's separation anxiety (he also gets v cross if I leave the room). I remember leaving DS1 overnight with my MIL for the first time when he was about 18 mo, he ignored DH and I ccompletely for about a day! I found it very distressing but he soon got over his sulk . I'd love to read your book once it's finished.

Love the idea of a one-year evening meetup, even if I have to leave early to get a train. Photographs of babies a great plan.

Daisy: is there any chance of getting referred to a specialist as your DS's cough has been going on so long? Or is it still the case that they don't officially diagnose things like asthma until they're a bit older?

Oops {blush]

No idea if I can squeeze this post in, but new thread here (apols for the unimaginative title)

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/859302-Dec-08-babies-are-nearly-one-PARTY-TIME?rnd=125793009626 0