April 2009 - Chapter 5 - The one where no-one is allowed to feel guilty (except about all the chocolate...)

[Guimauve]

There will be chocolate fines for the guilty!

Poor ol' Orbit!
Teeth is difficult fings.

A blocked duct, of course
Insert any missing punctuation etc as you wish.

Gui - very about MacD's remark.

I know I am far away and not an expert but you have seen the paed, so I am going to come out strongly and stick my neck out and say THERE IS NO WAY THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH YOUR MILK. I know the paed said "he needs more", but what does "need" mean if he is fine in all ways except "too" small? If his appetite is not such to sustain "normal" growth, it doesn't mean that he is getting absolutely too little, whatever that is for any individual. And he may or may not like formula, but he can't be hungry or he would take it.

You are quite right of course - if your baby has a small appetite then bm is exactly the right thing to give him to fill up that little stomach, because it is a perfect food and if he is only taking a little then all the more important that it is the right stuff.

I think your DH is fixated with giving him non-bm things for reasons of his own. Well, not too long till he will be on food anyway.

Courage!

Thanks Ginger. DH is fixated on giving him bottles, be it formula or ebm. He would so love to be able to feed H himself sometimes. A friend of his who has a baby of a similar age gets to give a bottle of formula each evening, and they have their whole Daddy-bedtime-routine built up around this, and DH would dearly love to do the same. He got quite upset about it actually, saying he feels like he is failing as a Dad as often he can't settle H or get him to sleep and has to hand him over to me, and obviously H then calms down as soon as he gets a bit of breast! I don't want to paint DH as anti-bf, or as being nasty to me in anyway. He just wants the best for H, would like to be able to give me some relief from the 2-hourly (and more) feeds, and wants to take part in everything. I hadn't really thought too much before about how the whole process of having a baby has affected him emotionally, but he's obviously finding it harder than I realised. Certainly the labour traumatised him far more than me

Wonder how Trista is doing? Her new place had no internet access, I think.

Gui - it is so unfair isn't it that only women can bf... but it's for such a short period of time. Still, I know what you mean.

A (very) few of the times when V has had to be got up to, DP has done the actual getting up and has brought her to me in bed to feed. It is the most luxurious feeling in the world, like being a countess in a Tolstoy novel, to have your baby brought to you in bed to feed and for a little billing and cooing and then taken and settled again. I would suggest that any DP who is wondering what they might do to help when they can't physically breastfeed might try that. Mostly DP doesn't even notice it happening! He acknowledges this, and asks in the morning how V slept as if he has spent the night in a hotel.

I was wondering about Trista, too...

Feier, thanks for the rugby hold tip - will try that (although I am not practised at that angle, I did it once with a blocked duct and V looked at me as if I had lost my mind)

Hello! back from baby clinic, Orbit still religiously following his centile. HVs mentioned weaning so I said we were waiting another couple of weeks (I want Orbit to be properly sitting up and to have lost his tongue thrust reflex) and then starting.

Had a most surreal conversation in the lift with another mother - I must have misheard but it seemed to go like this:

Me - Oh how cute your baby is, how old?

Mad Mother - 19 weeks - about 4 months? We've only just found out.

Me (thinking, 'found out what?') - oh he's lovely. Mine's only about a month older, 5 months.

Mad Mother - He's lovely too. Much easier on the washing! Bye!

Me - Eh?

Guimauve DP struggled with the whole mother centric thing too at first - he's found it easier this time round because DS1 has needed him very much, and because he's more prepared for it. As H grows though there will be lots more your DH can do with him/for him, but it is hard when the only thing that will settle him is a boob

You need a night out, that's what you need - leave bottles of ebm with DH, so he gets his baby and feeding time, and you get to go out and paint the town red! Fancy coming to Bristol?

Boff, do post this evening and tell us how the fresh-faced, fragrantly-pitted DS got on at secondary school.

WFH that is one very strange conversation. Python-esque.

Ginger, I love the image of you sitting in bed having your baby brought to you. None of that here, A sleeps by my side of the bed and DH often doesn't know what has gone on in the night.
Last night Alex decided he felt particularly chipper at 3am. He chatted and burbled for an hour. I had to resort to the boob to convince him to go back off again. As I had foolishly been up till midnight translating, I am feeling very knackered today.

Gui, I wish DH felt that way. Once when I was saying how nice a night out with friends would be, he generously said I should go out - as long as I got A off to sleep first. Since A often doesn't go down till 10pm, and I'd have to drive half an hour to get to a night out, I haven't taken him up on his offer just yet.

sometimes dps not oozing milk are just what you need as help for those moments when they don't really want feeding they just need some comfort.

Here's Christmas sorted then, Gui.

ManMilk shirt

Gui - my DH is desperate to feed O as well but I can't express enough for a full feed. We've been giving O about 60ml of EBM before his final feed before bed every week or so to make sure he will still take a bottle, but two nights ago he refused the bottle and has been refusing it ever since. Eek. Now DH is harping on about giving him a full formula feed??? Not sure how that will help??? He keeps saying its not fair that I get all the bonding over feeding time but I keep pointing out that he can bond with O in other ways and feeding him is my bag at the moment as I'm the mummy. RAh.

about the MaccyD comment. Not helpful at all. I think DHs/DPs don't really realise how they come across a lot of the time.

Boff - is the porridge stuff you've been giving Felix mixed with EBM or water? I've just been giving O pure baby rice mixed with EBM but I think it tastes a bit dull and wondering if I should ramp things up a bit... any advice from anyone who has weaned before? When should I move on from just baby rice? He's still just having one meal a day at the mo and seems ok on that...

Also, LOL at fragrant-armpitted-boy

WFH - poor Orbit teething is so rubbish, for babies and for mummies.

Tired, tired, oh so very tired...

p.s. IMHO the cream replaces butter and therefore should be spread thickly before the jam on a plain scone. You can, of course, stick another huge dollop of cream on top of the jam, but there has to be cream underneath the jam to start with.

It would appear I do it the Devon way rather than the Cornish way - here - but still think cream then jam tastes better. Rah.

agree bicnod reference scone ettiquette

gui: Ed needs one of those man boob things like in meet the fockers!!!. Obviously doesnt apply to me but try to think of the bonding of BF as a reward for going through nine months of pregnancy and the labour. I wouldnt worry too much about DH as this first year is soooo miniscule compared to what you are all going to be doing in a few years time and DH will probably get to do the majority of the football playing and the like with manbonding! Does E have his own 'job' with little H like it could be his job soley to do bathtime so he feels like he is involved and has his part to play? ( that might have sounded like a loads of codswallop cos i started to ramble) (luckily you know what i am like!) ( I am going to come see you soon!!! i have decided lol!!! tell me when i and i will be there (except next week....)

Boff: well done on weekend away! good luck to ds on first day of big school!

I went to HV today to get bubbas weighed. they are both following the sacred lines so all is well....

anyhooo...

just read somehting weird on t'internet. that men can breastfeed too? apparently they can lactate. Gui do you think that if men are on metoclopramide or domperidone too long they will start lactating!!??

Bicnod, it's mixed with EBM. Don't worry about food tasting bland, it's not necessary to give them highly flavoured food. A good sequence of gastronomic weaning food experiences (!) might be:

Baby rice mixed with EBM
Baby porridge mixed with EBM
Mashed banana
Mashed carrot
Pureed apple
Mashed potato
Mashed butternut squash
Pureed veg from the family meal (no salt)

Then segue into protein as an addition by incorporating these items into the above:

Full fat natural yoghurt
Cottage cheese
Edam or Cheddar cheese (watch salt content closely)
Unsalted butter

Then move onto:

White fish
Minced chicken
Weetabix
Rusks mushed with warm milk
Boffin's special semolina recipe
Boffin's special rice pudding recipe

I leave eggs and red meat until after the first birthday for various reasons.

I also give finger foods when they start grabbing stuff. This can include:

Fingers of toast
Rusks
Bikkipegs (although they don't ingest these)
Cooked vegetable batons
Apple and banana slices
Cubes of cheese
Berries
Baby wotsit thingies
Raisins

Outside the nursery context mine don't get sugared stuff until well after 1 (no need for it).

I only have five minutes so...

Vanishing Gypsy. Spooky. Poor toothy Orbit . Break for Boff. Hooray. Get well Edmund. Pass the Brownies. Make Mr Guimauve read "The Politics of Breastfeeding". Mad mother . Boff, you've made me hungry.

Laters.

Sorry MrsG, missed your post earlier! Sorry poor E has had a stinky cold, but glad all is well otherwise!

Sweet things can be be enjoyed as part of a healthy diet! My caramel brownies, for example, have cranberries in. I will therefore enjoy them as part of my healthy diet.

thanks Boff I went to Waterstones today to buy a weaning book but there was too much choice so think I'll just use your list and take it slowly.

He's been having 2 teaspoons of baby rice at dinner time for a week now and today he had about a teaspoon of mashed banana afterwards. I think I'll stick with just dinner time for another few days and then start with lunchtime as well.

Going to get some baby porridge tomorrow.

Puzzle you just made me

Bicnod I have an NCT weaning book you can have if you want? It's quite good, IIRC.

CAT me your address if you want it, or FB it, and I'll pop it in the post.

ha ha ha Auld, this never actually happens! I was fantasising about it when I had a nasty virus on holiday. "imagine if.. I only had to feed the baby...."

If I were you I would just go out and let your DH do bedtime. He doesn't have to give you permission, does he?

[I should shut up really as I am always causing rows between spouses - spice? - by saying things like this irl]

ooooo - you star, that would be fab

I'll FB you now x x

Got your message - will try and post it tomorrow, if not Sat. It might have splodges of baby food on it, but should still be legible!