Dec 08 it's time for sippy, tippy and doidy cups (& wee sticks!?!)

[Veggiemummy]

sorry could think of much and these where discuss on last page.

Thanks

I am going to try to get childcare BUT look for a new job at the same time.

But I may change my mind I guess.

Boss has asked me to ring her tomorrow.

you are not being a selfish cowbag ladyT (although the word cowbag made me snigger).
So sorry for your highly crappy situation. Really hope you get a chance to enjoy your time with your sister and that your mind allows you a little peace while you're away.

Oh my god LadyT what a bunch of absolute tossers your work are.

I am furious on your behalf. If they wanted to make it hard for you to go back they should have bloody said in the first place that they wouldn't let you go back part time rather than screwing you around like this.

I am so appreciative of everyone's support on here. It is just so nice.

If I'd known a year ago it was full time or nothing, I could've used my mat leave to find another job. But now it's too late.

My employment lawyer mate has agreed to act for me for free and get the best deal he can for me. He will try to persuade them to reconsider letting me do part time but he is not hopeful. However, they won't like having to deal with him at all and that does please me. I am lucky that he is acting for me as he usually does grand things like negotiate football managers' grievances, not pipsqueaks like me.

I am worried about money and everything and it's 12 years of service down the pan and the unfairness hurts like hell, but at the end of the day I have to get some perspective I think. It's only a job. DP, DD and me are all safe and well. Nobody died. I shall just have to tough it out and be appreciative of the lovely things in my life... (In between gnashing my teeth and fantasising about unfortunate things happening to my tossy employers, obviously).

When I get back next week I will try to stop going on about this and will just do very small PSs at the bottom of my posts

ladyt am for you re work, that's just sh*t. I hope your weekend away is lovely and gives you a bit of breathing space from it all

Sorry I've been so rubbish in getting organised but if anyone still wants to yorkshire meet up thread

Hello everyone, Traceface came to say hi to me on my Multiples thread (all Ive managed to keep up with) so I've popped in to say hi back. I hope you are all doing well?

Lady T sorry you are having probs with work. I am back now, part time for 8 weeks then nearly full time but flexible hours so I realise I am very lucky. It's hard leaving the babies even for 2 days a week, but my DH is looking after them so that is a blessing. And now he is getting to realise how hard it is looking after them .

My two are adorable at them moment, I wake up every morning to the sound of them squealing and giggling at each other through their cot bars, just gorgeous. They are so different, the girl is quite dainty with snakey arms, always reaching out to touch things, very vocal and not that strong physically - she is only managing commando style arm-crawling now. He is a bruiser, nearly 11kgs, crawling well and pulling himself up, though his coordination is rubbish, I think his brain is dominated by the need for food . They interact so much already, I can see there might be advantages to having twins after all .

What's new?

Hello Notquitesobig! The twins sound very cute - interesting how boys / girls differ.

Lady - I am at your situation. Like your plan of going back and lookingelsewhere at the same time.... Give it right back to them. Not easy I'd imagine. let me know if I can help in anyway, I am not back at work until hopefully 2 or 3 months.... Hope you have a nice weekend, however I bet you are so stressed about all this.
must get back to packing I suppose....
Yay it's eviction Friday!

LadyT - no need for apologies, that's what this thread is for. At least your employment lawyer friend can make life a little uncomfortable for them, which is something. If its any reassurance at all, I work full time and though its probably not ideal, its not the end of the world. I get a little time with them either end of the day and weekends are extra special. They seem happy and cared for while I'm at work, so its more about how I feel about it than their welfare. And they definitely know who their mummy is . You sound supercapable (and kind and wise), so I'm sure this should only be a temporary situation - you will find an employer who values you and lets you work in a way that suits you.

ladyt - can i add my outrage on your behalf - that is just so rubbish. glad your friend is going to make their life hell. some consolation? enjoy your time away and take care.

hello ladies - have been lurking. sleep up and down - 2 nights ago madam woke up twice (once before we'd even gone to sleep, so felt like once) and only needed feeding that once. felt like a real breakthrough. but last night woke 3 times, i fed 3 times, and she woke for the day at 5.50. ugh. and she is now asleep on my lap. double ugh. am giving dh a break as he normally does the morning shift.

I am so so confused by my breastfeeding/sleeping conundrum. Still waiting to hear from hv sleep advice person (ZJ - thanks for asking, will let you know what they say as and when), and not entirely sure i?m going to trust it when i do ? hv advice always seems so random. Am re-reading WMD and trying to take heart that i am doing lots of good mothering, even though i feel disapproval from those who hear madam wakes during the night and i am still breastfeeding her. And the feeding to sleep thing is getting so tricky ? i mean, easy to do and all that, but ultimately it wrecks her feeding at other times, limits madam to being put down by me and me alone, and has to stop. Aaaaargh.
Also, can i ask ? does anyone else?s babe wake up screaming their head off in terror in the night? And i mean sheer, utter terror, the type that makes your blood boil and strikes fear into your very soul (maybe a bit melodramatic, but you get what i mean). Madam does so about once a week ? it is quite terrifying ? she screams and wails and is wide eyed, looking around the room and nothing but nothing can calm her down apart from boob, and even then it takes a while for her to calm down enough to latch on. It normally takes about 30 minutes to get her through something like that. Are they too young to have nightterrors?

arti - any news on your niece?
pmk - you ok? You sounded quite down a while back
kayz - boo to work, but yay to driving. Hope you get some more sleep soon
indith - lovely to have you back, your house sounds like heaven. Happy anniversary!
daisy - well done on the ASBO kids and have a lovely holiday
trace - yay for the sleeping! And wonderful news about the nursery
SL - can i ask you about stopping bfing and sleep? I know you have at times fed E to sleep ? how does it work now you?ve stopped bf? Hope the boobs sort themselves out soon.
modern - fantastic crawling!
NQSBB - lovely to hear from you, ditto reban lal/urbane - missed you!
There, that?s my catch up ? sorry to miss anyone.

Just a quickie - on lawyer's advice worked on a draft of a letter (until 2.30am as I was so wound up) then sent it to him, got up early to see he had added his bits at 3.50am, the madman, all sorts of legalese and breaches of this and that. Was about to send when my boss called, saying she was really sorry, wanted to come to an arrangement, will pay my trainfare for a meeting on Wed afternoon. I have to go and hear her out but it is so reassuring to feel that I have a Plan B (ie go nuclear).

Thanks for the reassurance about full time care, Invis. I appreciate it and I am sure others do too.

Lovely to hear from you, NQSBB!

Good luck with the move, PMK!

And WG - I wish these blimmin' people would stop their tutting and clucking about you feeding in the night. It must make it all worse. It's not like you are choosing this. What else are you supposed to do?

Sorry to miss others. Support really has been wonderful on here (as always) but DP is going to bop me on the head if I'm not ready to leave for Suffolk when he gets back from court. Over and out!

LadyT - glad things sound a little brighter at your end. Hope you (and everyone else) enjoy the long weekend.

WG - I still feed at night. Can't quite imagine not doing it and don't really mind unless DS decides its 3/4 times a night. Last night it was only once, so it feels like progress. Maybe I'm a bit dense about it all, but if I don't feed him, he is perfectly capable of screeching the house down (and it does sound like terror and takes a long time to calm him down). Don't know really, as never really had to figure it out with DD, she just stopped waking for feeds, so I'm kind of hoping DS will do the same.

wwjd

Qmw

wg I still feed at night too. Once or sometimes twice, usually. Whenever you meet someone whose DO sleeps 12 hours, you forget that you probably know someone who has it worse... My niece is 20 months and until last week had NEVER slept more than 3 hours without feeding. Literally, never. Now my sister is pregnant and she's suddenly started sleeping 12 hours and has self-weaned in the day too. Imagine what the HVs would make of her

Ffhkfdbxfeghgy

Hello just a quick one as brother and clan are here, WG yes I used to feed to sleep but to be honest before stopping BFing I was often feeding until sleepy rather than asleep and I am finding he still goes sleepy with a botte.
Naps in the day seem harder at the moment though!!

arti have you learnt a new language? is there a gremlin - or worse, a small infant - loose on your computer?

wg I forgot to add that DD does occasionally do what you said - wake screaming with apparent terror for no reason that I can discern. Not that often but it certainly happens. It's horrible isn't it? I calm her down with boob from that too. But as summer says, I try generally not to feed her to sleep, because she also used to only sleep that way and I don't want her reverting to that - but in the evening it's usually until sleepy, then I put her down awake and tell her it's sleepy-sleep time and go.

Anyway I'll stop wittering now, off to Germany tomorrow first thing. Wish me luck for the car journey [fears epic meltdown x 100 emoticon]

Arti pmsl!

Have fun Kiwi!!! She'll be fine!I've still got her Whoozit so It'll be moving to Surrey with me!! I can send it whenever?
WG - I'm fine thanks for asking - knee high in packing but otherwise looking forward to more space! Sounds like night terrors - sounds scary for her - not sure the age that is typical
Lady - that's encouraging - hopefully you can enjoy the weekend now?
B is wolfing down food at the speed of light, and has become very very mobile - not quite babyJJ yet, but getting there - I think he'll be proper crawling over the weekend. He has 3 and 2 half teeth now!

Trace P sounds to have found nursery a doddle, hopefully she'll enjoy the other one as much. How did JollyBaby get on at nursery this week?
WG DD had a bit of a phase for a few weeks of suddenly crying without waking about an hour after being put down, not the awful screams that Madam is doing, just really sad sounding whimpers. I just realised the other day that it's not happened for a while now, so hopefully it's passed and will pass for Madam too. I've been pondering sleep training, to put a stop to night wakenings/feeds, as Trace so successfully has done. However we're currently working on swapping from boob to a cup at bedtime so I've decided one thing at a time. Like you, I want (sometimes) to hand over bedtime duty. As SL & Kiwi, I've started feeding til sleepy, & we're now having a story & cuddle between feed & bed. So far, so good ...

Have a lovely weekend LadyT, I hope your sister takes your mind off work so you can relax. I'll be crossing my fingers for you on Wednesday

Also, Daisy & Kiwi, I hope you have great holidays. And talking of holidays, is Mom still lurking from Canada

Last night I made that cheats microwave pudding & it was amazing! Thank you thank you to whoever posted that recipe (I forget who, it was so long ago)

DH has taken DD for an hour so I'm posting from a verh bubbly bath (hope the image isn't too scary), it is lovely lovely lovely. Have a great bank holiday everyone x

And hi to nqsbb, your twins sound so lovely, its great to hear about them (and you)

MIL rang earlier. Apparently DS2 not sleeping is my fault because I had him in our room to sleep! I said that the reccomend that they sleep in the parents room until they are 6 months old. She just moaned that if he had been in his own room then he would sleep properly.

after tuesday night's wonderful only waking twice in the night, the last 4 nights have been hell. the tormented screamathons have come every night, the boob is the only thing which will calm her. i am becoming a human dummy. i can't see an obvious reason: teething/cold/etc. have posted on sleep to find a recommended sleep consultant as neither of us can think straight and we are now prepared to throw money at the problem. i was reading WMD and that is making me feel worse.

Hi Guys

I am so sorry about those three incomprehensible posts from the other day. I have NO idea how they got there. Could have been my phone or a DC on my computer or anything really. Very odd. Anyway, I thought I owed the basket a proper contribution before we jet off to Turkey in the early hours of tomorrow morning.

WG - I wish I could recommend Mrs Sleep to you but as you know she is back in Ireland. I have just texted her though, to see if she can recommend anyone still in London. If she gets back to me before Turkey I will let you know. Otherwise I have heard of someone called Andrea Grace but she does not come to your house, instead she instructs you over the phone.

PMK - I was sad to hear that you are feeling negative about forums and lurkers. Did something happen to make you feel that way? Please don't disappear on us. Good luck with your move this week.

LadyT - I am speechless with regard to the action of your employers (I say your other thread too). I am so glad to hear that your boss might be having second thoughts about her disloyal behavior (I wonder what sparked the change of heart?). I hope she pulls something truly spectacular out of the bag when you see her next week. If she does not then I hope your shit-hot lawyer can help. I am thinking of you and wishing you loads and loads of luck.

Kiwi and Daisy - I have probably missed you both but I hope you have great holidays. I find the prospect of a holiday with two little'uns so far removed from what holidays used to be. The best I am hoping or from Turkey is that non of us get ill and all of us sleep. Any fun had will be a pleasant surprise, how sad is that?

Veggie - Respect to you for attempting the mammoth bike rise. I hope it is going well. xxx

NQSBB - Lovely to hear from you. The twins giggling at each other in their cots sound so adorable.

Good luck to those going back to work while I am away (I think its Trace and Zoe but might be wrong).

Before I go I should tell the good news that my niece is getting a lot better and should be discharged on Tuesday. We are all very relieved. There is limited other news from us. I feel like I have run around like a headless chicken for the past couple of weeks and I can't think straight at all. Hopefully a holiday will fix that but as stated above I am not holding be breath - expect the worse and anything else is a bonus - thats how my pilates teacher told me to approach holidaying with very small children. Our first challenge will be the 11 hour door to door journey tomorrow. And its Thompson Air. I hate package flights! Give me Virgin any day PMK!

xxx

hello.
I'm afraid I'm and and am going to use the basket as therapy, even though there's probably no-one about.
Just been away for the weekend to stay with BIL and his wife. Very nice and lovely couple and did lots of nice things, but unfortunately every seems to be rather ill, except me and I'm feeling full of self pity about it. DH feels like he has flu but he gets ill so often I don't even feel any sympathy, I'm just cross with him. Bad wife. Lucy looks exhausted and has been saying her tummy hurts for 2 days, and today it's her chest that hurts. I took her to the park to check if she was faking cheer her up, and she just kept holding her chest (kind of above right boob area) and saying ow . Wanted to ring our of hours GP but dh thought we should wait and see how she is tomorrow. P was awake most of last night with croup so presumably has a very sore throat, is coughing loads and has yet more snot. We were all in one room last night and Fri night so none of us got much sleep (least of all me because these things always fall to the mother to sit up all night). Tonight L is asleep so far, dh has been making pathetic noises and P woke up 1.5 hours ago inconsolable and I can't do anything to calm her down. I've tried the boob, sitting, standing, lying, walking, singing, given calpol, used Karvol, and just can't calm her down. DH has just come and taken her because he said i'm stressed so told me to go away and do something. SO here I am. I feel terrible for feeling so cross with dh but I feel like I'm the only stong one in our family and that I have 3 to look after on my own, rather than 2 kids and a supportive dh. I feel so worked up inside and keep saying the 'f' word in my head - and I'm not a swearer so I've shocked myself. I can hear her absolutely screaming from upstairs but have no idea how to make her feel better, which breaks my heart because I'm her mother but I can't mend whatever's going on.
sorry for the rant.
Oh no L has just got up as her chest really hurts. best go.
sorry guys. See you later

HI Trace,

I'm here and I hope you are Ok, and L is OK now, and you got to the bottom of her chest pain, poor thing. I know its not much use but I can empathise completely with how you feel; I've been up since 5:30 mulling over my marriage. I often feel like I have 3 children and am running through treacle to keep everything afloat. Part of me loves the challenge, but the other part feels quite resentful. My H spent all saturday night awake "because he didnt feel well"(just wanted to play a computer game all night), and I thought this was very selfish. I feel fortunate that he is a great father and the boys love him, but our relationship has suffered a lot. The problem with my H is he wont talk about emotional stuff without severe poking, and I dont have time for that at the moment. Anyway Trace, from the things your write you sounds like a lovely mum, your kids and your H are lucky to have you. Its at times like this it would just be nice to have someone look after you for a change I think our H's forget that just because we are so good at coping and strong that we need a bit of TLC sometimes !

Hi Kayz, glad you didnt find going back to work so hard, and the driving lessons went well - I must book my driving lessons !

Hope you are having a good holiday LadyT and the meeting goes well next week. I cant believe your boss thinks that having a baby means it is acceptable treating you in this way. For me, having a baby has made me a better multitasker, better at dealing with stress, more confident, and a better employee I think in so many ways, and my boss agrees with this and he is a man. Anyone who thinks that motherhood destroys all your braincells and makes you dull is in the dark ages, you only have to read this thread to see that - it makes you stronger !

WG, I hope you get a good sleep consultant.
PMK, sorry to hear lurkers put you off. I am guilty of that, I was too shy to post for ages, which I did feel bad about. Seems a bit silly now

BTW, for those of you with toddlers, buy a balance bike ! I got an Islabike and DS1 loves it, it is his new feet. I went out cycling with him yesterday and it was brilliant - I fell off in a field and he cycled slowly over and gravely said "Mummy, are you Ok ? Did you hurt yourself?" which was really sweet. I then fell down the stairs last night so am nicely bruised on both sides of the body