March 09 - there is no snooze button on a baby that needs milk.....!

[meep]

over here ladies

Oh Boobz, I'm so sorry

Ladies, would you mind if I ask a non-baby related question? Please skip the rest of this if not.

I feel as if I've had a ton of bricks dumped on me, which is nothing compared to how my friend must be feeling. Remember my newly married friends? Well it has turned out that the husband has been collecting an enormous stash of "nasty" porn, visiting dating websites, contacting other women - and has met two of them. My dh went out with them last week, and while they were out the other chap got a text from one of these women, which his wife happened to catch sight of. This led to finding secret email accounts etc. It goes back to before they were married.

The problem is that I think she wants him to leave, but he has said if he hasn't got her, he hasn't got anything to live for. And we know what he did earlier in the year...

She won't tell her family, and basically, dh and myself are the only people she will talk to about it. I really don't know what to say. She says she wishes she had never met or married him She has also said she couldn't live with his suicide on her conscience.

Rock and hard place.

Any thoughts on what to advise? I've said I will do anything I can (as has dh) and offered her a place to get away to, or to go over.

Oh, and it's dh's birthday tomorrow, and this chap has given him a gimp mask as a present Not funny, rather sinister (to me anyway) and I find it upsetting.

It's been a strange couple of days.

boo - sorry boobz

mdavza use NHS24 whenever you are feeling worried - the Scottish service is pretty good and you get seen in hospital quite easily if they are worried. So don't think you are neurotic - it is so difficult to chill and say "they'll be fine" with babies. Glad he's better though.

What are your weaning routines evryone - when do you give food - before or after milk - at every meal

can you tell I can't be bothered to dig out the weaning books - am just being a bit haphazard about the whole thing, but Rosie's routine is going to pot!

SLICK??????????????????????????? getting a bit worried about your absence - am hoping you are just without internet - but am sure it is over 2 weeks now - are you okay?

boobz

grinning I would tell her to kick him to the kerb anyway, she can't be responsible for someone else like that, and better get rid now. (used to have horrid bf who secretly collected rape porn, that relationship turned abusive, so may be colouring my views. He threatened suicide too but he's still around).

meep I usually alternate boob at 6am, food at 8 am, bottle at 10 am, food at 12, bottle at 2, food at 4 and bottle at 6, then boob at night. We offer water with food, no milk.

Also, can I borrow the hive mind? We didn't give G his normal puree for dinner but tried BLW (which he loved) but then he was awake at 1, 3 and 5 (which is odd as he usually sleeps through). As we've also switched day feeds to follow on milk not boobs, do you think he's waking hungry? We didn't bother switching to formula as he hates the texture.

grinningbee

As Laumiere said she needs to leave him. He is emotionaly abusing her with the threat of suicide. Search in 'relationships' bit for emotional abuse and your see lots of other women who are or have been going through the same. And maybe you can get some advice. And as for the 'gimp' mask tell where to put it.

Meep can't help with the weaning as i just asked the same question in the weaning section. Although this is my 3rd time i can't remember what to do .

Blimey Laumiere that's horrid. I didn't ask her what it was he was watching. I would say the same to her - get rid now. She can't live with him threatening that over her for the rest of her life. It'd be so miserable.

Just need to work out how to make her realise that as scared as she is of being on her own, this can't continue.

Sorry for posting this btw, I needed some collective thoughts.

Promise to be happier now!

Now, can anyone tell me how to get rid of mould on the wall?

Thanks Lizzie

I'll have a look at the other boards. Shouldn't have put it here really. Too depressing.

She definitely needs to get rid grinning. I used to do a lot of domestic abuse cases and the controlling behavious (threatening suicide etc) can lead to much much worse. Your poor friend.

laumiere that sounds like it was rough/tough/awful. Good for you for getting out.

Don't know the answer to teh night waking - teeth? But I do know that they don't get as much in from BLW than puree - sp maybe do a bit of both each meal and see if that makes a difference?

lizzie it is only 20 months since dd1 was weaned so I really should remember !

Meep

I would quite happy to give ds to someone else to wean and have him back once he eating.

I'm thinking i'm going to go down the puree and finger food. While wishing the next few months away .

Grinning don't be silly you asked for advice and we gave it to you.

I know how you feel about feeling helpless. I have a freind like you who was in a emotionaly abusive relationship for years.

Unfortunly she left him 2 years when he hit her, but after 6mths she went back. She has been in a refuge for the last 6 months because he tried to kill while she was holding thier 3yr old. She was lucky because her eldest dd was at home that weekend and not at her dads and phoned the police.

She is now waiting for it to go to court.

The thing she is a very strong indepdent person. Had her business which she has lost 90% as she can not go back into the town that she was living in for her own safety.

oh me too lizzie. I was so excited weaning dd1 - but the excitement quickly wore off! I will be happier once she is on 3 meals a day so that I know where I am!

Boobz - so sorry, fingers crossed for future positive results.

Grinning - that sounds awful for your friend, I am really hoping she can find the strength to leave and that her DH finds himself the appropriate help.

I am also in need of advice Mae has been sick a few times each evening of the last few days, she doesn't seem particularly bothered by it. But she has been sick so little the rest of the time that I am little worried that she may be poorly. But I'd thought I'd check whether this may be a side effect of teething - does anyone know?

jolly don't worry too much, G is more sicky when he's teething (swallowing more spit maybe?)

meep yeah as I describe him, less of an X, more of a Y? I actually went into domestic violence prevention to help other women, so hopefully something positive came of it

Gabe had toast fingers today and really seemed to enjoy them! Rice cakes and green beans tomorrow (as suggested by Aitch's BLW blog). Of course this depends on work, as just got an email at 4pm saying I have a team meeting 12-2 tomorrow, so need to get clothes and childcare sorted..... Apparently they thought I was still on hols so didn't invite me.

Sorry, thank you for all your concern Am back and I think I still remember how to type

Sorry for the unexplained absence and I'm afraid it's a rather dull explanation, I've literally been too busy! I was decorating DD1's bedroom and that took nap times and evenings (and all of DD2's birthday - which was a week past Friday, she was 2 - and she fell asleep at the table in the middle of her birthday tea. Awww. Quick nap and then it was time for cake ). Room looks fantastic and am v. glad to get it done. DD1 is over the moon with it. But in the last two weeks I have been doing that, I had 4 birthdays (2 more this week) organising the bathroom for getting changed over in October, doing slash and burn in our ridiculous garden while we had a whole week without rain , walking, dealing with the kids and going to DH's gig. I've also been weaning DD2 off her dummy and she's doing fantastically at night and during the day, but nap times are still meltdown, but I hear this is normal. Anyway, am v proud of her as she really loves her dummy!

So, just not had the time!

On the Happy Boab front, he has two teeth now, is munching on a lot of things and have been brave enough to give him sticks of toast and cheese to let him chew on and it's been fine. He's doing really well in tummy time and moving around a lot. I've seen him trying to get the knees up so I think he will be trying to crawl within the next month.

Right, I need to see what you've all been up to! This could take a while and I have to get ready to take the kids out, so will respond later. Hope you are all well - haved missed everyone!

Good to see you back Slick !

Grinning - hope your friend finds a solution. What an awful sitution for you all to be in.

Jolly - not sure re the sick. It could be teeth I guess. Any changes to milk/ food recently ?? Hope she's doing better.

Good luck on the weaning those who are just starting. Hope it goes well. meep - when I started I offered milk at same time (just before...), now we do much as Lau does - milk early, breakfast 730 ish, bottle 1030 ish lunch 1230 ish bottle 330 ish tea 530 ish bottle 7 ish. Seems to working a bit round here as L is sleeping a bit better. A lot of nights she isn't needing milk until 5 or even 6. That's not to say I'm not up back rubbing a bit but its a big improvement ! I'm giving bits of finger food as well as spooning - not really purees anymore as she's managed (little) pasta shapes and she just had brocolli/cauliflower cheese for lunch.

Over the weekend she started doing that all fours rocking thing and then bawling when she isn't getting anywhere. So guessing it won't be long before she's truly crawling. Yikes.

Am giving up on the running with buggy thing. Its just too hard. But, my old running buddy just did the great north run and I am determined to do it next year. So, have found creche space for L at our local sports centre so am going to get on the treadmill twice a week whilst dd1 is at school and then run outside at weekends. Double yikes.

hooray - welcome back slick. Glad your absence was just due to you living in the real world and not anything sinister !

I think Rosie might be another bum shuffler. She is useless on her tummy - all 4 limbs go up in the air and she flails about on her tummy - much like her big sis. Certainly no getting up on all fours or even knees and rocking!

Thanks for all the weaning advice. Breakfast was refused this morning - but she does seem more up for solids at lunchtime and at tea time. The downside of the diet change is huge poos at around 6am every morning - so that is now the start of our day !

She struggled to poo when we started weaning and I blame the banana porridge I gave her ('twas free in teh Bounty pack!). Ellas do a really good fruit/veg pouch with prunes in it and from the state of her nappy this morning it has definitely worked - no more little hard nuggets of poo!

My mission today is to go and buy stuff to make over the weekend and get lots frozen down.

grinning I forgot to say at teh gimp mask - definitely odd.

jolly there is a sick bug doing the rounds. Both Rosie and dd1 got it. Dd1 was only sick once but Rosie was sick about 4 times - it was accompanied by a lot of crying though. But, yes, I think teething can make them sick as a lot of saliva goes into their tummies and can upset them.

Is it full on vomit or just a bit of regurge? When Rosie was sick you could see her wee tummy contracting and it just kept coming - much like when we are sick IFKWIM?! If it is like that it may be a tummy bug. If it is just an overenthusiastic burp then not a bug? But see your GP if you are worried.

Well this is new - M is with a childminder while DD1 is at preschool, leaving me with time to get some work done (which I WILL do after my MN fix ).

Grinning I agree with everyone else - your friend needs OUT OUT OUT. Poor thing.

Meep I just bf M in between each meal, which all follow DD1's routine, so it's breakfast 7.30am, bf 9.30am followed by nap, lunch 12.30pm, bf 2pm followed by nap, dinner 5.30pm and then a mega bf at 7pm to get her off to sleep. Seems to work most of the time (NB these are very approximate - don't want to make out I'm super organised and routined - definitely not!!).

Sorry if TMI but M's poos are really solid so I've been introducing a sippy cup of water at meal times which is going down a treat. She seems really thirsty, so I've resolved to drink more water in case my breast milk is a too thick(!)

Right, down to work

Anyone else's babe suddenly gone super-hungry? G used to be happy with a breast at 6pm then a quick cwtch at 11 and through til 7 (and did this in Spain too). Since we got back it's been 5am and then DS1 wakes and I'm exhausted!

Thanks for the replies about my friend. Poor woman.

We're getting ready to embark on weaning here. She'll be 6 months old a week on Sunday. Where on earth did that go???

As we're away next weekend (with dh's mil!!!!!) I thought rather than faff with home made while we're away I'd take ready made. I bought a couple of those Ellas Kitchen pouches to try. I've given her a taste to see if she'd like it, and it seems to be ok, although the face she pulled was hilarious. Not sure if it was an "ooooh that's sour" face, or a "what the hell is this!" face

I think I'm going to do a mixture of puree and finger food, and just see what happens. Going by our first venture with puree, we definitely need a million few more bibs...

Looks as if I have weird poo to look forward to as well judging by others experiences! Yay

Meep I was more than at the gimp mask. What kind of freak gives that as a present???

Laumiere - here it's bf 7pm, one at 11pm, then 4am and up at 6.30am - and I consider that a good night

Hmm, didn't mention that in my 'routine' - trying to block it out!

Right, back to work

grinning the poo only gets worse and worse..............!

lau Rosie wakes at 9.30pm every night hungry - we usedto have to wake her at 11.30pm to feed. She makes it till about 6am - but as per previous post it appears to be the poo monster waking her - grr!

Miss I don't think your breast milk can be too thick or that drinking water would make much difference. If M's poos are solid - cut out banana (notorious for constipation in wee ones) and give her water - or whizz up some prunes and add to yoghurt or whatever delicacy she is having.

Oh dear. I'm feeling very down. Nothing seems to be going right.

We've started weaning, BLW-style. LO is loving it and has not refused anything, but he is vomiting at nearly every "meal" because of gagging. I don't have an alternative to BLW (and wouldn't want one) because he hates being spoonfed. It has got to the point that I didn't even try feeding him solids today because I needed a break from the gagging and vomiting. He is entirely unbothered, but obviously I am worried that he is losing his milk feeds. This happens even when I leave it an hour after feeds. At least he will have digested a lot of it, I suppose.

His sleep has gone from bad to worse. He is very difficult to get down for naps and I cannot get him to stay asleep after his first sleep cycle whatever I try. If he gets and hour and a half of naps a day, I think myself lucky. Often I have to take him out to get him to nap, so I get nothing done. The house is a mess and I feel like a slob. He is waking numerous times a night and gets up early (often before 6am).

He seems hungry for more milk, but won't take a bottle (EBM or formula) and I am worried about my milk supply.

On top of that he has suddenly got very physical. Nappy changes are a full on wrestling match. I cannot bath him properly on my own because he arches his back and flips about. For the last few days I've had to dunk him and then give him a wash on the floor. When feeding he kicks me and grabs my arms in a leg lock. My arms are bruised!

In short, I think he is hungry and tired and I don't know what to do.

I don't expect anyone to have any magic fixes. I just wanted to get it all out.

Yarnie don't worry too much, G went through a phase like this too coming up to 6 mo (I think my panicky emails may be on this thread!). It was a huge growth spurt, and he was building up my BF supply to cope (so don't worry about the hunger). The house can wait and it'll be over soon.

As for the BLW, maybe leave it a few days? We started G on it at almost 7 mo and he hasn't gagged so maybe S just needs a bit more time to learn. He won't starve if he's getting BF still, the BLW is more for experience than food at this point.

Yarnie - doesn't sound good. If it makes you feel any better Mae thrashes all over the shop when her nappy is being changed and has never been able to sit in the bath it is a constant struggle with her. I think I've just got used to it.

But the sick thing I didn't like so we took Mae to the docs today - the doc just said it was probable her reaction to the change of routine i.e. my going back to work. So fingers crossed it will settle for us and Yarnie fingers crossed you find a solution to your sickness problems.

I'm really sorry, I still haven't had a chance to read everyone's posts and catch up, will try again tonight. Just wanted to say; Yarnie that sounds tough and it's a shame that he won't take anything spoon-fed, but like lau says it will probably pass when he's ready. HB is really really restless through the night too and has been for the last few weeks (he is over 6 months too) and I also have the wrestling match over nappies and stopped bathing him ages ago as I just couldn't do it! I should point out that DH has been doing it! But even he got to the point where he couldn't hold him so now he goes in one of those upright bath seats. He still needs a bit of support to start with but he's getting stronger all the time now. Maybe that's worth a shot? The cost around a tenner and I know Babys R Us do them. Hope this helps.

Sod the house. But I know what it's like for getting you down.

On a weird note, found something that HB is absolutely terrified of. He clings to us and then starts howling. Yes, I can understand this, as its......THE FRONT DOOR....

Much weirdness. Am wondering if it is Eric's ghost (the previous owner who died) hanging out at the front door. Very, very odd.

Will try get through posts later!

Thanks for the support, everyone. I woke up feeling less down today and I know from friends that the 6 month stage can be difficult. I feel more reconciled to it now.

My sympathies to all of you going through similar issues. It's tough, isn't it?!

I also communicated how difficult it is to DP and he has promised to offer me more support (he is great, but has offered to meet me for lunch and that sort of thing as I don't get much of a chance to talk to anyone during the week).

Unfortunately, we now have a new problem. A nursing strike. He's barely fed since waking up at 5.30am. I am offering frequently and nonchalently and he has a couple of sucks, but that's it. I'm also letting him play with a bottle. He's happy to have a chew, but not a suck.

Any advice on when I should get worried about the nursing strike?

Funny thing is, he seems a little happier in himself today.

yarnie I have one of the bath seats if you want it? Am in Ladywell SE London.