Nov 2008: Spain, France, Leeds or Brum, wherever we are we're still mums

[juanitad]

Hope this works! I'm a techno-idiot!!

oops forgot Choco....hugs to you lovely . I well remember my first day back at work after DS1 (when he was nearly two!!!). I was really worried about getting ready and out the door as I was commuting as well, but it was fine. I also remeber crying on the train on the way home as the stress of the day wore off, and of thinking and talking about him ALL day. IT gets better.

And, if it's any consolation, I had similar thoughts with DD and DS2 about getting out of the house in the mornings and coping....but it all comes together somehow and you just do!

Good Luck xx

vbab, sounds like he is suggesting something that will be for you and will help you with your (self professed) body image issues. IT's nice that he thinks that the financial side of it is less important than you being happy with yourself.

Mind you...if it were me, I'd go running or cycling (or get the Wii fit out of it's box ) and use the money for the gym on handbags and coffees in Caffe Nero

oh, and it'll get you out of the house and away from things for a bit.

Do your local council have a gym membership thing? Here in Leeds it's called Bodyline and is £££ cheaper than belonging to a private gym and there is no minimum sign up....you can cancel it at any time.

Thanks for your lovely comments ladies - fingers crossed it goes well, I shall report back! If I don't come back assume I collapsed from a too full head of stuff to remember!

vbab if you think the gym will help with your body image then I say go for it, if not then save the money - I used to join gyms all the time, I don't like exercising (prefer playing sports) but I wanted to lose weight, but it never worked for me so I tended to stop going and it became a waste of money. If not why not get a wii fit like Daisy says, then DS can get enjoyment too (if he's the right age?). Perhaps it could be something fun you could do together - so nice time with DS plus exercise!

vbab I think the gym idea is a lovely one as daisy says it would get you out and away from things for a bit, giving you a bit of YOU time, would also increase self confidence and you may meet other yummy mummys too then may lead to coffees, lunches, boozy nights out etc etc lol. The bath thing I dont think I said this but when we got the bath and were "trying" it our DD1 burst in and was like "oh your both in the bath" I was in fits of giggles!! Men do have a one track mind though!!

ellie - LOL re bath.
lacks - Yep got a Wii fit. Occasionally use it to weigh myself then put it away when peeved that I have lost nothing. We have a local council gym thing like you mentioned but they are none near but the gym one on offer is 5 mins drive. Just SOOO unsure (not like me ahem). Been a member at loads of gyms over the years with varying success but the same end result of wasting £ and cancelling. I think to give Wii fit a chance as not up for running on streets those days are gone BUT like the idea of being REMOVED from home for a while. Just the £ and worried it will be a waste. HELP LADIES. PLEASE HELP MY DUMB ARSE BY GIVING ME THE ANSWER.

Good luck for tomorrow, choco! I'm sure it will all go fine.x

vbab if you like going to the gym, do it. I'm more of a cycling around/ long brisk walks kind of person, but you know yourself. Some things are worth investing in if they improve your wellbeing.

I've been making soem clothes for mimi tonight, from my Amy Butler book that DH bought for me. I am having to use the last size patterns as I should've got around to it ages ago I think they are going to be very nice, though.

Good luck today choco

Vbab it sounds as if your DH wants you to have some 'me' time away from DS and as you have said to us, you want to lose weight, he is probably thinking the gym will kill 2 birds with 1 stone. As for whether you want to go to the gym and would actually use the membership, then I guess only you could answer that.

As you know I am a complete gym bunny (as is DH) and we both agree that our membership is worth it's weight in gold and we would probably rather get rid of Sky and other stuff before we sacrificed the gym if money was tight (as it is, we get a very good deal through my work so it only costs us £17.50 each per month). But I would go potty without being able to go, have a regular break from the DS's (when you are not doing other stuff like shopping, cleaning, cooking), and it makes me much more ready to deal with DS1.

Well, completely out of the blue, Sam woke up for a bottle at 1am this morning (sorry to those of you who are still feeding in the night ) He hasn't had a night feed since he was 10 weeks old so I was completely taken aback (so much that it took me 40 minutes of trying to settle him , giving him Calpol etc before I twigged what he wanted ). Is this a growth spurt do you think?? Of course the minute I fed him, he went very calm, fell asleep back in his cot straight away and slept until past 7 this morning. Not sure whether to give him an extra bottle today, a supper of porridge just before his bath or just leave it and accept a few night feeds (but I really don't want it to become a regular thing!!)

pinky - I like the gym once there BUT IT IS GETTING MYSELF THERE sometimes. At my best point I was going every morning before work and pounded the treadmill (did x country at school and was in south yorkshire team so liked running - memories ), then to work and had breakfast there. This was of course pre kids and had varying success with gyms since kids. I am 50/50 about the whole thing. LOVE the idea of me time away from home but just worried it will end up being a waste of time and £ AGAIN. But before me and DH went together and both being hopeless when 1 wanted to go the other wouldnt so we just didnt bother. SAD i know. Maybe on my own with DH pushing me out the door to hopefully get his nicer wife back who will let him have fun on occassion I may get motivated. ???? DH went on about gym AGAIN this morn and has contacted them on my behalf .

So very very sorry to hear this Dozy
Very best of luck calm, chocO, on first day back.
Love to Vbab at this difficult time.

Dozy I dont blame you TBH, if someone I knew read half the things I write on here or other forums I would not be happy. Like you say its like reading your diary. But please hang around even if its to lurk.

My work rang me yesterday, Im starting on the 29th of this month for 3 days a week but just need to hear back if Im staying in my department. I quite fancy a change so dont mind too much if they move me.

H is waking up 3/4 and sometimes 5am, I think alot is to do with the heat, we have a fan in his room now but cant wait till we move (in a week)as his new room has a much bigger window. Our flat at the moment is always like a sauna in the winter.

vbabThe gym thing - I used to go when I went in my lunch hour but know I wouldnt go now. I think maybe to make up your mind you need to have set times that you WILL go as agreed with your DH so theres someone to look after your little ones rather than join then sort out when you will go.

Vbab, trial the gym you can always cancel. Give it ago. We all know exercise be it a walk, run or gym is good for us as it releases the feel good hormones. x

just a quick one hope work goes well choc x

Ellie DH home today - WOOHOO, we won't be seeing you tonight then [grn]

Ceebee feel for you joining us in the night feeds, think I had one week where we had sleep throughs

DD1 off still, temp a bit better today, I am housebound as DH working then on call, escaped with Becca to walk the dog for 20 mins last night before he went to work again

bet x posts loads!!

Hi guys
Thanks for the lovely messages and daisy thanks for confirming that I will muddle through regardless! J is such a happy chap and I am extremely lucky to have him. It just made me so that exh doesn't view him in the same way as me! Unfortunately I have to remain civil to him for J's sake even though I would like to string him up and invite you all to thump him one!!

dozy - that's so sad of someone to stalk and tell stuff to others, completely baffles me as to why someone would do it! Please don't disappear for good as we all need you here, but I suppose there's always FB to keep updated on Tiger and the clan.

Choco - good luck at work, it is hard but you will be fine. It makes you appreciate them even more when you've been out working so chin up and you'll be fine

waves to - hope your little man recovers soon.

Oh well, nearly time for PMQs and see who the next resignation will come from......

Autumn lol at your comment - I bet it is a bundle of laughs at work for you at the mo - glad you went back just in time for all the fun eh?

Oh and yes I would gladly thump your exH for you J is a lucky chap anyway having you for a mum

Thanks Ceebee Let's just hope J still appreciates me when he's a teenager

Yes, i'm soooo glad I returned to the House of Disarray! Just so everyone's sure, I don't have a second home (not even a main one at the mo!) or claim expenses or have a huge salary. My boss has got off lightly but we still have rude people phoning up and giving us grief over the phone anyway

Having said that, I actually love working here - never a dull moment!!

Vbab have been thinking about you and your DS. I have realised that since Sam was born, I have been expecting far more from DS1 in terms of his behaviour etc just because he suddenly appeared so much more grown-up compared to a newborn baby. But, I looked at him last night, lying on the changing mat having his nappy changed, with his dummy in and holding onto his comfort blankie and realised that, yes he is nearly 3, but he is still so young and that I am expecting too much from him. I also realised that I have stopped doing 'baby' stuff with him such as tickling, making him laugh etc but he does still enjoy doing the 'baby' things of nursery rhymes etc. Does that make sense? Just wondered if that was maybe contributing to your DS's behaviour aswell - that we have suddenly expected them to grow up too quickly just because a new sibling has arrived, when they should still be enjoying their toddlerhood.

Anyway, must stop waffling and go shopping

Trying hard to remember all your comments regarding dealing with troublesome toddlers. DS is really pushing me today. Grrr. Even my dad kept telling him off this morning.
More and more fancy gym just to get out of home for a bit. Trouble is would want to go when bedtime routine and bed for kids so prob not far to miss it.
While typing this DS just pushed me too far and started crying. STUPID COW.

I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a rough time Vbab - I have no experience of toddlers and have nothing of any use to say except that I'm sure you are doing a marvellous job under difficult circumstances. Don't beat yourself up about it all which I know is easier said than done.

As I said, nothing useful and if I lived nearby I would make you a large gin cup of coffee and a cake

Joins the queue, fists at the ready, to lay into AL's exH

Vbab, what about a local ruinning club then if you like running? there is usually an amateur club with all abilities etc in most areas, and they do social things as well; it's not just about the sport.
Read everything since last night and have promptly forgotten it!

good luck to those at work/thinking of going back etc. Can't inamgine it with this lot, although tempted just to get away from them all for a bit

I am £175 poorer after my car's visit to the garage this morning , but....it is running on four cylinders again and will probably be much more fuel efficient as a result!

aaargh, the small pooey one os yelling again. He has started to get a real temper on him and howls with red faced rage if he loses a toy or isn't picked up at the first bleat!

Back later...Ceebee will email you directions to Roundhay Park later

ok things just got REALLY BAD with DS. Gone from trying to keep calm and crying to getting so fed up I picked up DS plastic plate through it at the floor and broke it into pieces . I then sent a naughty screaming DS to bed who continued to scream harder and for ages. When I eventually calmed down and put A to bed I fetched DS downstairs because he kept crying "sorry mummmy". I then have cried my eyes out for ages while DS kept saying "sorry". FEEL SO ASHAMED and upset. Me and DS have now cuddled and stopped crying. IM SO SORRY FOR THE CONSTANT ME POSTS. BUT I FEEL SO with myself. Not deserving of a family. Maybe I should crawl back under my rock and give everyone nice, happy lives.

vbab I was going to write to you last night as I was concerned I think it was when you said your mood goes from bad to ok or something like that, I dont want to upset you at all, I look out for you posting as I have never met you but you seem to me to be a lovely person and an even better mother, but you seem to be going through it a bit. Please please dont think I am interfering but maybe you should speak to your gp or Hv it often helps to sound off at someone outside your family. I hope you are ok I have just read your post at 13.24 and you are deserving of a family please dont think like this.
Hi9 to everyone else just really wanted to reply to vbab there

Vbab don't be sad we are here for you. Don't crawl under any rock. Ok so things turned bad. We all have our off moments but its thinking right need time out now, walk away gather strength and return to the situation.

If its because he was being naughty, go back to basics, reward charts / putting on the stairs. Going down the naughty step route will be hard work but think of it as starting afresh. Over praise where necessary and let little things go so they don't esculate where unnecessary.

OTOH Ignore me as I am probably talking shite!

Vbab - you are deserving of a family and they are lucky to have you!!! I'm sure my time of dealing with a boundary pushing toddler are to come and you probably did the best thing by putting some 'space' between you and DS allowing you to calm down. Everyone has a breaking point.

Lacks - thanks for forming an orderly queue to bash exh!! Sorry to hear about the bill for your car - need to sort one out for me now whilst exh gets to swan around in the 'family' car we had . Oh well, he has to pay for J and me until J is 18 and god help him when he 'forgets' to pay.....!