May 07 - The Terriffic Twos. (No harm in being optimistic, I say.)

[twelveyeargap]

Morning ladies. Sorry I have been AWOL. You'd think with DH having been at home for a full month that I'd have had time for MN. Actually no, if any of you have ever had a DH at home for a full month you'd know exactly why I haven't had time. Get your mind out of the gutter Gin, it's not that.

Thought I'd start a new thread since MKG's lovely girl arrived such a long time ago!

April, am very sorry about your friend. How sad.

Have only had a skim through I'm afraid, but Scoot; you obviously have the patience of a saint dealing with all those tantrums, so I think you'd make a great driving instructor. Is it really what you want to do or are you trying to think of jobs to fit in with family life? Is it a reaction to the current job do you think?

Congratulations on the wedding plans SKY.

Belated birthday greetings to everyone I've missed and happy birthday in advance to all the rest. Seriously, if I go off to find the birthday thread it might be weeks before I get back!

LG&T, is there any way you can channel B's energy into activity? A gets quite naughty when she's bored or hasn't been "out". "Out" can just mean the garden and "out" means she doesn't sound so loud to me, thus killing two birds with one stone. I'm wondering if you being (understandably) afraid to leave the house with him is actually making things worse? Something like a trampoline in the garden could be great because all the bouncing up and down would use up tons of energy and wear him out, whilst also being "fun" for him and "quiet" for you.
Also, re B's nappy rash. Remember A had a hideous rash that needed anti-biotics etc? Well it went away and then was back a couple of weeks later. I thought it couldn't possibly be teeth again as she seems to have all her teeth. Took her off milk and hey presto, the rash was gone in 18 hours. Plus her soft, foul-smelling poos have turned into normal firm not-awful smelling poos. She's fine with butter or the occasional bit of cheese, but any more lactose sets her off. I wonder could B have a similar problem? A's excema also got worse on milk and is now clearing up. I think it's probably temporary, she had a similar problem last year, but for now she's on rice milk or the Lactofree products when I can get hold of them.

I was at the doctor on Weds to get my Mirena removed and replaced with a copper coil to see if my libido would come back. GP couldn't "find" the Mirena. I have to go for a scan to find it, then to a family planning clinic to have it removed if they do find it. She said it's probably just lost, rather than come out, but it's kind of put me off using coils altogether now.

DH still not redundant yet. It's been a month since he was put "at risk". He's seeing HR today and I suspect this will be the final meeting and they actually sack him. His manager admitted they were hiring new people for the desk, but not for "his role", which is just a load of crap. You can't make a position redundant on the basis you want to hire someone "more senior". That's just a staff upgrade. Hopefully they'll make a settlement offer today, otherwise he'll have to appeal and start sending solicitors letters. However, he's had loads of interviews, lots of callbacks and good feedback.

LangeInEinenAbgrundBlickst, we should hook up. Think we go together quite well, non?

Alan Duncan, for example, is a twat. And a politician. Here. Opens his mouth and all sorts of rubbish falls out.

AM, you sound tired. Please try and take it easy.

Twas a very long time since my German A Level and I'm struggled to translate and therefore establish who you both are. Are you not both staring into the abyss ? and if so, why ??

My poor blonde pregnant brain can not cope with such things [barely managed a Masters never mind a PhD emoticon]

"Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you"

Friedrich Nietzsche

AbbyLou, have you tried Maggie O'Farrell?

Aha Did he not also say something along the lines of "In Heaven, all the interesting people are missing". ?

He did yes, interesting critical take on religion. Christ the only christian, insanity comparisons etc.

Help. Spent most of today shouting at the kids. They are driving me and each other insane.

Help. Spent most of today shouting at the kids. They are driving me and each other insane.

Heard of Maggie O'Farrell but don't think I've read any. I have a feeling my friend may have recommended her a while ago. Did she write a book about somebody in a coma? That's what I seem to recall from my friend but I may have got the author mixed up with someone else.

That's her first one Abby. After You'd Gone. Woman (Alice iirc) steps out in moving traffic and ends up in a coma. Story explains why. Well crafted book, moving. Still her best one imo.

After You'd Gone, sob sob, it's very emotional, but well worth it Abby.

Tills, I have confused myself even, nothing to do with pg brain. What is your masters in? [nosy emoticon] You've now got me thinking SOH about a Phd. I'd quite like to go back to work, but need to be at home with the dc quite a bit and work permit issues, not to mention lack of experience are stopping me trying too hard to find one. (As well as parental ANGST) Doing a Phd might be a way to keep me active. I reckon funding for malaria research might be slightly more forthcoming than for your arty Phds, sadly for you.

TYG, sorry you having a tough time of it. I second the divide and rule theory. Often my older two will play for ages on their own, but I have to keep J out of their way. When the older two start fighting, they get separated to far flung points in the house/garden. At some point they will play fabulously together I'm sure, but for the next year or so it's going to be tough.

Jam - how's the toof?

April, I can see you, fiddling around, organising everyone. Put your feet up and let your sister run around.

Am still clueless about Alan Duncan. What nasty things has he been saying?

Step away from the DM - it will make you feel filthy (and not in a good way)

Masters was in Property Investment... exceedingly dull and done via distance learning whilst doing a stupidly full time job. I'd love to do something else as well - something totally different. I always fancied some kind of child pyschology course but on the basis I am being continually outwitted by my 2 year old, I'm not sure its for me really

TYG - sorry you're having a tough time. I obviously have no experience/advice to offer you, but really hope it gets better for you soon.

I'll put the Maggie O'Farrell one on my list. This 19th Wife I'm reading atm is about Mormon/Latter Day Saints polygamy and I'm really enjoying it.

Oh that sounds interesting Tills. The Mormon polygamy, not the Masters . My second Masters was distance learning while working ft and thought not especially dull wasn't rock your socks stuff.

Lange do it. Do a doctorate. Tell me all about it while you do.

You must all read the Daily Mail online. As Marcus Brigstocke (swoon) says he only needs to read it on a Monday to give him enough material to be angry and indignant for the remainder of the week. It's fabulous. Misogynistic, patriarchal, badly written, poorly-researched, hypocritical and dangerous. You can play bs bingo with the reader comments too. You get a lot of points for 'I pay my taxes' and 'we should close the borders'. Of course I read all the papers online so am not in danger of believing the DM world view though it's frightening to consider that people read only the DM and think it's actually a newspaper as opposed to a rather colourless comic.

Reading about Kinbaku-bi today. Interesting. Local library is starting to look at me a bit funny.

I want a new name. Lacking inspiration.

I want a new name too but don't even know where to start!

Sent off for some CM stuff today - but also sent a job application. Really struggling to decide what to do for the best.

Sorry you are struggling TYG. Very luck here so far so no advice - I think C is very tollerant (sp?) of L but sometimes they have little spats and L throws himself about. They have been arguing over trains on a train track today but can be easily diverted.

C not had a nappy on since he got up this morning. All wees and a poo on the potty BUT he will not put pants on so we can't go out! Any ideas to make him? He has got In the Night Garden ones, stripey ones, ones with cars and aeroplanes on but still refuses. May see if I can find some Firman Sam ones somewhere.

I spoke too soon. He has now done a wee on the carpet and outside!

Hi all,

toof much better thanks can actually drink and eat now without crying.

Now what the frick is going on with all this daily mail stuff. Not that anything I say will ever ever be printed but I do feel a little weird about it all. Am thinking I should delete my profile page.

Books I have read recently, The piano player a richard and judy one not the most taxing read. And a Patricia cornwall dross but good dross. And thats it oh and raising boys. I need some new reading maybe we should have our own book club or book swap thing.

Gin, have you come up for breath yet? So today was THE WEDDING, wasn't it? How did it go? Did you or dh lamp anyone? And the outfit, was it a success?

Need your collective wisdom ladies. Went to see a friend today who had a baby 4wks ago her numpty DH has told her he thinks the baby should go into its own room. She is apparantly disturbing him during the night while friend is feeding. Even though my friend is going into another rm to feed her during the night.

There was almost I bit my tongue very hard a vvvv heated argument about babies sleeping in with their parents for the first 6mth. I talked about the risk of sids and about how babies forget to breath and that by staying in with the parents it helps reduce the risk etc etc. He is unprepared to believe what I say without some sort of scientific backup. Friend is desperate to keep the bubba in with them and has asked me to find info that she can shove down his throat show him to convince him that the baby should saty in with them.

So can you help me find articles websites etc which prove a baby sleeping in the same room as its mother reduces the risk of sids.

Ta muchy

Jam - I am sure there must be. Could you start a thread and someone will know.

My friend had a baby boy last night at 37 weeks. He weighed 5lb 12oz and is on a ventilator as he stopped breathing after an hour. His lungs aren't producing something they need to. I have just spoken to her as she rang to see if I could have her older DD today as her DH is a self employed electrician and has a job he can't get out of. She seemed in good spirits but says she may be in hospital for a couple of weeks bless them.

Jam I hate to say it but your friend's dh sounds like a complete prat. She needs to put her foot down now and keep the baby with her if that's what she wants. Why should she have to give reasons anyway? Could she maybe get the hv or someone like that to talk to him?
Sky, I hope your friend's new lo is ok. It must be a scary time for them.
We had a lovely time in London on Saturday, although dh was still getting over his bug and didn't really feel very well. C loved the Natural History Museum and was totally in awe of the dinosaurs. In the afternoon we took him the Diana Memorial playground in Kensington Gardens. I have never been before and it was lovely. He had a fab time in the sun running about in such a lovely safe environment. We had tea at Giraffe near the Eye and C loved watching all the different entertainers and acts. Unfortunately he now has dh's bug and has had sickness and the other for 24 hours. He seems to be getting a little better now and had had two slices of jam on toast which have stayed down! He needs to get better quick as we are off camping tomorrow for a couple of days with a group of friends and he would be so sad to miss it.
LGT hope the wedding went well. You look lovely in that dress in the picture on Facebook. Hope you've enjoyed your time with dh!

Sky bless your friend.

Jam, you'll get a lot of mixed reactions to a thread on room sharing and I would imagine some advice to not get involved in other people's marriages. MN a bit rabid atm.

No amounts of research will help here for the simple reason that if you can happily disregard guidelines on best practice, you will find a way to disbelieve research and to follow the whims of your own comfort levels anyway. He does not sound reasonable.

For me there is one key thing here. The mother wants the baby in with her. That's what should happen.

I don't think he's unreasonable to want a good night's sleep, don't we all? But what you do is you accept best practice, the happiness of that mother and child and you compromise. She's taking the baby into another room ffs. Sounds like she's eminently reasonable.

He needs to accept that this is the way things are for now and if he wants more sleep or less interrupted sleep then he can find avenues to that without compromising best practice or other people's wants/needs.

Tis fark all to do with how much good research you throw his way and everything to do with being part of a marriage/family.

Sky, fingers crossed for your friend and her newborn.

Jam I probably would be one of those annoying people who say don't get involved... As SOH says, no matter what the research may or may not say, he sounds like he is a stubborn man, who probably knows he is being slightly unreasonable but now you have brought it up he is not going to budge in his views, from a matter of principle no doubt.

It's a sensitive subject to many.

Dh used to use earplugs and that made a huge difference, perhaps his wife could suggest that? Alternatively he could sleep in the spare room....no?

I am still rejoicing in the amazing Jessica Ennis and her heptathlon win yesterday, how remarkable was she? And of course the wonderful Kenyan Linet Masai who finally managed to beat the Ethiopians.

We went to look at our new house tonight. It's very exciting mentally placing all your 'stuff' around. The scary part is that it doesn't have a playroom I think I may have to have a clear out......

April, how are you, feeling better?

Not sure i can help on this one as i get them in their rooms ASAP.. Jack was in his own room at 2wks (couldnt stand the snuffling and shuffling) and Ella at 8wks.

LG&T you looked gorgeous in your wedding outift x

Feeling a lot better thanks TMAM. AB's finished yesterday and pains havent come back so am hoping that they did the trick. Bubs is feeling quite low down and am waddling like a goodun now

Jack has slap cheek (been to quacks today) which is great - not. Nothing we can do to treat it or prevent it from happening again. He had it when i was about 6/7mths pg with E.

Dh back from the touring cars. Good weekend - 9th, 5th & 9th. 2 wks until Silverstone, I will be there!!

Gosh it's quiet.

Thanks for the advice have sent her some links to stuff.

LG&T wow you look fab in that photo.

AM glad to hear oyu are better. How is Jack?

SKY hope your friends baby is doing ok.

Abby how is C?

Have had my lovely very first boys to stay the last couple of days. I started looking after them when the eldest was 8wks old he is now 15. They are such lovley lads they have had a really tough ride their mum died 4yrs ago so its just them and their Dad. They were so good with my boys. Bless them they brought all their old Brio train stuff to give to Archie. He is in 7th heaven and the boys were sooo patient making tracks all day long. I now have had a constant running commentary of Thomas, Percy, Gordon, Bertie................

Oh and I think I am about to get my period the first in 3years. should I batten down the hatches invest in super super tampax. Is it likely to be horrible after 2 children?? Yeach yeach yeach.