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Jan '07 part 30: where some of us are postnatal, some are antenatal and the rest are plain ANTInatal!

589 replies

2Happy · 29/01/2009 14:33

Wilkie - congrats on the blue

Shimmer - glad you're enjoying it, sounds totally exhausting

Raisin/eandh - ditto on sleep deprivation. Am shattered. And have so much less patience when shattered

Who was asking about milk? I don't intend to swap mine over to semi skimmed any time soon TBH. I admit I am totally anal about what they eat and drink, but as far as milk is concerned, I feel they are 2 healthy and very active kids in no danger of obesity. I think at this age they need calories, especially since I'm so anal about what they eat otherwise !

We had a burst water main here, which was a PITA as these things are. The whole mains pipe is rusted to hell. But the complete donkey who had the house before us built an extension over the water main, so if we decided to replace the whole pipe to prevent more bursts (or if we don't replace it and wait until it does burst again) we would have to dig up the floor and remove half of the kitchen to reach it . This is the same twat as did DIY plumbing and electrics which left us with an enormous leak in an unearthed house

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
vinorouge · 18/02/2009 21:37

2happy - wow you talk a lot of sense!

Wilkie - hug from me too

Lizz - glad to hear DJ ate all those fishfingers!

PCF - I would go to doctors too. Better to be on the safe side.

Well E(yes E not T!) didn't buy anything with her pound as she had it in her mouth so DH had to take it off her. Ikea was really busy (we had forgotten it was half term) so they were late picking me up from work. I walked a mile down the road rather than hang around at work. THen S was starving so I had to squash inbetween E&S car seats and feed S her tea on the way home. She wolfed it down, maybe thats what I'm doing wrong, not letting her get starvin' marvin' before I feed her! DH was proud of E cos she needed a wee in Next so he took her outside and she did it in her potty no probs theng ot back in the buggy.

Dragonhart · 18/02/2009 22:19

2happy- seriously, you could do that sort of thing for a living. You made me feel so much better too as I have been feeling the same (although obviously not preg!).

Wilkie- As I said, I have felt everything you have said and more! Know that doesnt help you much but I always feel better knowing that others are going through the same. xxx

Pink- Are you or DH tall? My brother's tummy was like that and my mum was told by docs that it was because he was going to be big so all his insides and tubes were ready before the rest of him! He was right as he is now 6ft8!

Happy birthday Raisin! Hope you have a good night. xxx

Thanks for the tip about aqueous calamine. Have been using a cream from boots so not sure if that is same but it seem to be working. Also someone told me baths in Dead sea salts helped so doing that too. TBH I think that either she has it mildly or she is hard as nails as she seems fine really. Spots not bothering her either. Bet Luke is awful when he gets it. He is def going to get man flu when he is older!

Rachel soooo not impressed with weaning. Tried her with parsnip today to see if that helped but still the pursed lips. Then when I had to go upstairs to wipe Luke's bottom (dont even get me started on the battles abou tthat!!) and Ruth shuffled her chair with booster on it over to Rachel and fed her one of my nan's fairy cakes!!! Guess what, she ate that

pinkcandyfloss · 18/02/2009 23:31

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eandh · 19/02/2009 07:23

Wow I had to go to work last night and all these posts

2hay - some excellent advice and far to true about the job thing, I'd have quit or demanded a huge ayrise a long time ago

Wilkie - [hugs] fab news about J's sticker and being pg with a toddler is damn hard work because youn just want to chill out and you can't because there is always a little person to consider. I'm not going to lie and say having 2 is easy but having 2 is damn easier than having a toddler and being pregnant plus I love seeing how mine can interact with each other forgets fighting stage give us a call if you want to let off steam

pcf - I'm inclined to say the same and I'd make a Drs appt, did pmsl at what a fab dinner guest Max would make Hattie currently only wants to eat the meat part of any dinner so we are fighting about vegetables

vino - I did think dh was brave taking them to ikea in half term fab news about E asking for a wee and S eating. Glad running going well

Lizz- Isnt it lovely when they go to bed that early Hattie never naps anymnore [unless with mil ] and is shattered by 6 and a late night is 6.30. We had to force Ellie to drop her nap because like DJ she was taking ages to settle at night.

I have no idea what to do with the girls today as its wet and raining and everyone is working or busy

eandh · 19/02/2009 07:24

dh - meant to say that at R feeding R the fairy cake

raisingrrrl · 19/02/2009 08:28

Morning all!

2Happy - wow, you talk a LOT of sense, laydee! So much of what you've said rings true for me atm. I'm really worried about how I'll cope with 2 children and the fact that I didn't even really want this one (I know, it's awful, but it wasn't planned and although I've come to terms with it I still feel quite shocked by the thought of being a mum of 2!) doesn't make it easier. When I'm "up" it's very easy for me to see the positives but when I'm down it's virtually impossible. I think I'm going to print out your posts and put them somewhere where I can refer back to them!

EAH - do you absolutely promise it's easier with a toddler and a baby than a toddler and pregnant?

Thanks for all your birthday wishes yesterday - it was a pretty crap birthday tbh, I thought dh might come home with a cake, or a present, or even a card but nope. He didn't do anything with Z either - I mean, how hard is it to get a 2 year old to scribble on a bit of paper and write "Happy Birthday Mama" at the top? Apparently he ordered my birthday present yesterday but I told him what i wanted last weekend so why he's only ordered it yesterday I have no idea. I know this makes me sound very grasping and wanting presents but it's not even about the presents or whatever, it's about dh thinking about me for a second! Take this morning for example - I've been having pains on and off again all night so slept really badly, and then Z gets up and demands cereal and rather than get up a little bit early and sort him out so I can have a bit of a lie-in (or at least get up in my own time) he lies in bed until the last possible moment leaving me to get up and do everything - as usual.

To be fair, he did do bath and bedtime last night so I could go out for a pint with my friend, but then I came home and the washing up was still to be done, and Z's toys were all over the floor. Dh was snoring upstairs and didn't even wake up and sort stuff out when i asked him to. Oh well, guess I should be used to being married to a selfish arse by now...

raisingrrrl · 19/02/2009 08:28

Blimey that was a long rant - sorry!

eandh · 19/02/2009 09:34

well I dont remember much of the first 8 weeks as it seemed to be a blur of feeding Hattie and occupying Ellie and stopping Ellie trying to smother/hit/bite Hattie but I remember thinking at least I havent got a huge bump restricting every movement, I can breathe properly again and I can roll over in bed and tbh Hattie was a fairly good baby at night and only woke at 10m and 2an then 6am for feeds so did get some sleep

Sorry to hear about your birthday I expect a card from dh and a seperate one with Mummy on from the girls [like you wouldnt care if he got them to make it for me]. Not sure what to say about the toys/washing up except maybe make a deal with dh like you do the dishes and I'll tidy toys write it down and stick it on fridge so no disagreements about what was agreed?

pinkcandyfloss · 19/02/2009 17:35

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Reggiee · 19/02/2009 19:46

Hurrah!! Lots of chat

Happy (belated) birthday Raisin. Sorry I missed it yesterday. IKWYM re cards - some sort of appreciation and effort is all that's required isn't it. Dh is pretty good and thoughtful at Xmas and my birthday so I can't complain, but he has been trained over the years . For Mother's Day for instance, I have to tell him in advance that I will be very disappointed if Pip didn;t make or get me a card. Valentine's day I just said it would be nice to get a card, and bless him he got me flowers too. It really is the thought that counts. We generally take it in turns to do all the housework type stuff - cooking, washing up etc. I don't like the kitchen bins so he generally does that, and I usually do the on-line shop and meal planning which he avoids etc. You are being very tolerant to not wake your dh up to go see to Z.

2H aww lovely posts .

Wilkie I am being massively lazy atm. I have hardly spoken to my friends recently but they are my good friends and know it's just life / tiredness getting in the way so they don't think badly of me. Work has been manic which is great as I am fortunate enough to love my job, but not great in achieving things and winding down. Then poor little Pip. Never have I watched so much Cbeebies. It is so hard to motivate myself to leave the house as I am soooo tired. Oh, and sod the housework. Share washing up, laundry (no ironing), and cleaning the kitchen / bathroom. Everything else really will wait!

PCF / Wilkie this last month or so does seem to have been really hard. I just put it down to my anaemia but maybe it is that stage of being pg, and we're not in the wonderful pfb pg stage where we have nobody but ourselves to think of.
PCF I'm another who thinks a GP check up might not be a bad idea, to put your mind at rest at the very least.

Lizz how are things today? It sounds like you did loads last night! Hope you had a lovely long sleep. Is LTH missing us? Still don't know why she left...sob...

Vino when I read that your dh and the girls were going to Ikea I shuddered on your behalf!! Too busy!! Was he looking for anything in particular? Am v impressed with your running btw. Are you going to do any races this summer? The Race4Life or JaneT 10km? DH has finally decided without any persuasion he's not doing London marathon this year, what with it coinciding with lo's due date!

Dragon fairy cakes over parsnips . Can't imagine why .
Your comment about Luke's bum wiping reminded me of the struggle we're currently having changing P's bum after a poo. Her poo is generally soft and goes in all her lady bits so we have to poke to get it totally clean, and she hates it. Wondering if I should revert to cotton wool and water.....any ideas anyone?

EaH what did you do today then? Sounds like you need a rest after a hectic few days. Or watch HSM3 again .

Why am I watching cricket? DH has been out running for an hour and I haven't changed channels....

2Happy · 19/02/2009 20:54

Awww, see normally I just think I am talking twaddle. Well, I probably normally am...

I agree with what's been said about 2, BTW. Yes I felt guilty before ds2 was born, but ds1 can't remember a time when ds2 wasn't around, and I don't think it's done him any lasting damage...! And yes, it can be tough - ds1 did play up when ds2 was born, and there were points (about 3m, 6m, 12m...) when the fatigue was horrendous. But, baby-wise, no 2 is totally different from no 1. Everything about ds2 was easier. I knew what I was doing (mostly). It was normal, it wasn't this horrendous shock to the system that ds1 was. And seeing the pair of them growing up, playing... of course they do spend some of their time screeching "mummy, he sntached my toy and hit meeeee!". But sometimes they sit and play together for ages, and I watch them giggling and interacting, and I love it. Sometimes they give each other a hug and a kiss, bless.

Each to their own, and for some people, one is the right number of kids (or none, but they're not normally on MN!!). But if you want more than one, then (in my experience) it's occasionally as hard as you expect it to be, but frequently so much more wonderful than you can imagine. Oh, and at this age, blooming convenient when you want to get something done and they amuse themselves!

And (if you haven't heard enough from me by now ) I think 2 is a hard age. They're the centre of their world, which is difficult to deal with. You're permanently explaining/cajoling/ordering/bribing; everything's an effort if it's not what they want to do/wear/eat/read/watch/destroy. And they have boundless energy, which is tiring, but they get to go to bed at 7, you don't! I seriously think that ds1 has improved immeasurably since he went to nursery. I ought to feel guilty that he is getting something from school which he can't get from me, but I don't. He gets social interaction, exercise, variation. New things new experiences every day - I can't compete with that. And I can see why 6 months ago he probably was getting frustrated being at home with me. My sister (the one who said at Christmas that ds1 was "incredibly difficult") is struggling with her dd (who is 4 next month) (ironic ). She's in Edinburgh, and dd won't go to nursery until Autumn - they're a year after England. I think ds1 has the advantage over her, not that I ever thought I'd be one to advoacte getting into the system early. I guess I just never appreciated how relentlessly exhausting it really is with young children.

Ah well. Before we know it they'll be surly, uncommunicative, secrative teenagers who'll get all grown up and leave us where we were just a few years ago but too shellshocked by the intervening 18 years and too bloody old to enjoy it!!

(More than) enough from me.

Dh - PMSL at the fairy cake! That made my day (sorry!) Out of interest (and please don't read anything into this BTW!!) how is going from 2 to 3 compared with 1 to 2?
Raisin - grrrr! That is seriously not on. It's off to make that little effort any time, but given that you're pg, not sleeping, doing everything round the house.
Reg - definitely can't offer advice on cleaning dd's ladybits!!
Vino - is E pretty much trained now then? eandh's H is too, isn't she? Anyone elses?

Bored. dh off visiting his dad in hospital again. Looks like he may even be kept in until next week, so bang goes my plans for getting dh to help me out in the garden this weekend... shit, that makes me sound like an ungrateful bitch , but to be fair, the bloody garden shed that blew away and we got a new one on the insurance is nearing it's fricking anniversary, still sat in boxes not put up yet. Can you believe it?!

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Dragonhart · 19/02/2009 23:18

I think that having another child is tough and more work, but after days, at most a week, it feels like you cant remember what it was like having one less. When I had Ruth, I couldnt think what I did with the extra time I had just having 1, and I feel the same now I have 3 about having 2.

I found it really hard late in Rachel's pregnancy and I would say that after having the baby, it does get slightly easier, more so after the first few weeks (which I also struggled abit with). When you are in a bit of a routine and know what you are doing with each child when you have to do stuff with the others then it is definately easier than being preg with a toddler, or a toddler and a nearly 3yo!

No 2, 3 dont get the same attention no1 gets and they have to just wait sometimes but that is no bad thing imo. Breast feeding is a bit hard as it is such total attention for lo, that Luke and Ruth both got/get jealous.

I wouldnt change it for the world and now Rachel is becoming Rachel rather than a baby I dont know, it is lovely having the three of them. Just remind me of that when I too am rocking in the corner as they all scream!

So after all that rambling, I would say it is hard and there are times when you at your wits end with 3 but then, I felt like that with 1 when I had just luke so it is all realtive!

Rgee- I was having that problem with Ruth and she was clamping her legs together so I couldnt wipe her. I started giving her a wipe to 'help' me and she now lifts her legs up for me and either plays with the wipe or sort of wipes her lady bits with it (missing mostly and wiping her tummy with it). Obviously I grab it before she has a good look at it and wash her hands after!

Urban- Sorry you didnt have a great bday. Sure Z would have made you a card himself to say happy bday mummy if only he could have reached the crayons!! xxx

Right, so all those with girls, what do you call your los lady bits to them? On the verge of potty training and have no idea what to call them!

Dragonhart · 19/02/2009 23:24

Sorry 2happy, didnt really answer the question in all my ramblings!! I would say that now we are settled not a huge difference in having 3 from having 2.

Or maybe my brain is so addled that I have forgotten! Anyway it is all hard work to me!! I am constanly frazzled but then I was before. Oh and house is a total pig sty, but then there always seems to be something more interesting to do than house work.

Lizzzombie · 20/02/2009 08:44

Morning everyone!
Nice to see lots of big posts to read whilst gulping down my coffee.
Rgee - I ask DJ to kiss his toes to encourage him to lift his legs up. But we don't have much of a crevice problem with him sorry!
Dragon - Nice to know its not just me that can be found rocking in corners! Also, did you get another bunny from Mothercare? I think the ones you wanted are reduced from £9.99 to £4.99 Do you want me to get one for you?
2Happy - I can't believe your SIL has been looking after her DD for 4 years with no nursery. I'd have gone bananas.
I know I am very lucky having access to reasonably priced & very good nurseries, but I can't imagine not putting DJ in one now. He loves it and gets to do all sorts of things that I'd never do at home....eg. glitter & paint related craft things!
Raisin - To be brutally honest, from all your posts about the lack of things your DH does, I think he is being really out of order. He is going to get a massive shock to the system when the new baby arrives and you don't have time to clear up every single thing. He has got to start pulling his weight else things just won't get done.
My DP leaves for work early and gets back dead late, so there isn't alot to be done by the time he gets home, but if toys are out, he puts them away and when I get home on Saturday after work he most definately would not expect me to clear up then. And he always gets up with DJ on the weekend so I can have a lie in (sort of ish)
Can you allocate chores to him so he knows that X is his responsibility and won't get done unless he does it?

Well, I am shattered. DJ may be sparko at 6pm and asleep in his cot with me feeling all smug, but at 10pm every night he wakes up and no amount of CC will get him to go back to sleep in his cot, but as soon as his head hits the pillow in my bed he is completely asleep. Karate chopping me and head butting me all night. I hate it. And last night he had huge night terrors...something about jam???! So was sat up screaming at me for ages. I am exhausted! Am thinking of booking myself into the local TravelLodge on one of their £19 room deals and just sleeping for 12 hours straight. I look like a zombie!

Dragonhart · 20/02/2009 21:59

Lizz- Sorry, ment to tell you that I went into our mothercare and they did not have the one I wanted and could not order it for me as it has been discontinued. This is the smaller version of the one I need with code RRO6S.

vinorouge · 20/02/2009 22:00

Lizz - hope DJ lets you sleep a bit better tonight. PMSL at the thought of you checking into travelodge for a kip

Raisin - maybe the new baby will be what you need to get DH helping out.

I have the opposite problem, DH wants and tries to help but I am a bit of a control freak so shout at him for doing things wrong, we argue, I feel bad - all in a roundabout circle every couple of nights. I know its not the end of the world if he doesn't put the washing out to dry the same way I would......

Anyway DH is out with a friend tonight for some food and drinks. Turns out his mate has got engaged so guess they are celebrating. I used to dislike this mate, thought he was a bad influence on DH so will be interested to see what state he comes home in. His plan is to get up early and get his haircut tomorrow before I go to work. Hmmmm. He often cooks our tea on the days we both we work so although we don't have assigned chores we manage ok most of the time.

Tomorrow night I am going out to meet some people I was at uni with, not seen them since 2000 so will be interesting.

2h - yep e is potty trained for during the day. She pretty much did it herself so we've only had a couple of dribbles in terms of accidents and the first day she wore pants she did a poo on her potty, then after a week she asked to use the toilet and did a poo on that. Nursery put a nappy n her for nap time which I don't mind but when I put her in the buggy for a nap at home I don't bother and she's fine.

I am finally getting my hair cut tomorrow, not been since sept.Nothing major just a cut.

trixymalixy · 20/02/2009 23:13

Raisin, you got a mention here

Lovely posts 2happy!!

eandh · 21/02/2009 19:24

God its been a long day, Hattie up at 5.30, dh left for work at 6.20 Dad turned u at 9am then Dad been hanging my new downstairs internal doors and undercoating them whilst the girls get very overexcited about being in and out of the garden because of the weather they layed with the girls next door we have a shared drive, but they are moving next saturday so we'll miss doing that in the summer.

On a lus note, doors look fab I got laods of washing dried on the line and Mum rang and invited us for sunday dinner tomorrow and asked if E and H wanted to sleep tonight, ellie packed her bag in about 2minutes but when I started getting Hatties bits together she kept putting them back and saying 'no' 'want mummy' she has a cold and feeling a bit sorry for herself so she stayed home and Ellie went at 3 with my Dad. Managed to get all of downstairs cleaned when she'd gone < that Hattie watched mickey mouse clubhouse for the entire time>

Dh taking Hattie swimming tomorrow morning so will do ustairs then. Whats everyone else been up to?

Reggiee · 22/02/2009 19:36

Sounds like you've been busy EaH.
Good weekend here.
Went to see friends yesterday (just me ), and today me and lo watched dh do a 10mile race. Lovely weather too.
Just had yummy curry, washed down with (very pleasant) alcohol free Cobra, and there's some chocolate chilling in the fridge .

Anyone tell me about Braxton Hicks btw. Didn't have them with P, but last night had quite painful stomach ache at the top of my bump, that lasted c 20 seconds at a time, then came back every 10 mins or so.
Either that or iron tablet stomach isses related I guess...

Lizzzombie · 23/02/2009 09:40

Morning everyone!
Well, I've been up since about 3am, as DJ decided to doze rather than sleep (in with me again) am buzzing now though, due to far too much coffee and off to playgroup in a second.
Rgee - hope the pains have stopped. Maybe the chocolate helped?
Eah - You certainly were busy this weekend. It would be very useful to have a handy dad/FIL nearby to do diy when I needed it! thats my dream! Everytime my FIL visits I give him a list!

Hope everyone else is ok xxx

trixymalixy · 23/02/2009 11:54

If you haven't seen it already bit of lovely news here!!

Congratulations UD!!

laughalot · 23/02/2009 14:17

Well done ud cant wait to hear all about the birth. Bet z will be a perfect big bro .

2Happy · 23/02/2009 14:55

Congratulations UD, and I love the name. Look forward to hearing about it.

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pinkcandyfloss · 23/02/2009 16:04

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Lizzzombie · 23/02/2009 16:11

I'm so impressed she arrived on her EDD!
Hope you are both doing well xxx