Jan '07 part 30: where some of us are postnatal, some are antenatal and the rest are plain ANTInatal!

[2Happy]

Wilkie - congrats on the blue

Shimmer - glad you're enjoying it, sounds totally exhausting

Raisin/eandh - ditto on sleep deprivation. Am shattered. And have so much less patience when shattered

Who was asking about milk? I don't intend to swap mine over to semi skimmed any time soon TBH. I admit I am totally anal about what they eat and drink, but as far as milk is concerned, I feel they are 2 healthy and very active kids in no danger of obesity. I think at this age they need calories, especially since I'm so anal about what they eat otherwise !

We had a burst water main here, which was a PITA as these things are. The whole mains pipe is rusted to hell. But the complete donkey who had the house before us built an extension over the water main, so if we decided to replace the whole pipe to prevent more bursts (or if we don't replace it and wait until it does burst again) we would have to dig up the floor and remove half of the kitchen to reach it . This is the same twat as did DIY plumbing and electrics which left us with an enormous leak in an unearthed house

Also, I've just ordered the Dr Christopher Green book on 'tips for taming toddlers'. I was flicking through it at work and it seems quite helpful.

Hmm - biting...can't help I'm afraid. Unless it's cats. My cats have gone seriously loopy of late. Mad cat has stopped biting. I think I must smell nice or something . One just won't stop following me everywhere (just like a certain little person I could name but at least she's v cute with it), and the other keeps pulling his fur out.

I have heartburn.

Lal no name yet but the shortlist is getting shorter. Down to 6 out of our original names now after binning Tom, Keiran, Alfie and Rowan.

Raisin you got a new phone yet? Don't forget we're first on your list for the news

This thread is dying...sob...talk to me or I'll have to defect....

Rgee - do you think the cats can smell your pregnancy hormones or something?

Raisan - how are you feeling?

Lizz- I have that book found some handy bits in it esecially sibling rivalary. Ellie used to bite but unfortunately was always aimed at Eddas dd, in the end I used to bite her back and eventually she stopped

Busy day had neighbour round with her 2 dd's {same age as mine} but also her 2 nieces so 6 girls and they created a huge mess. DH day off so he helped tidy up and then Ellie and I made cakes and Hattie and I iced and decorated them. Thankfully both in bed aslee now as Ellie got up at 1am demanding to be allowed to watch her hsm3 dvd she then woke Hattie and we spent about an hour getting them to go back to sleep. Got another friend coming over tomorrow and then got to go to a work do tomorrow night, but really can't be bothered

Urgh eandh, what a night! It's no wonder old people snooze so much in the afternoons, it's because they've spent years with kids keeping them up half the night! Glad dh was helping out, 6 girls, sounds noisy!

Reg - you'd better not defect Get some Feliway plug-ins for the cats, see if that calms them down any. Maybe they know you're about to produce another of those things that scream for months, then run round cahsing their tails!

Lizz - I don't know re: biting. Mine have both been hitters more than biters. ds1 only learnt to control his hitting, I don't know, at about 3 maybe. ds2 is still thwacking us all regularly, sometimes when frustrated, sometimes it just seems to amuse him . I've got to say, though, one of the kids at the CM is a biter, but if the CM tells me ds1's been bitten all I say is "and what's he been doing to deserve it?!" because he's normally started it! There's no point in parents going raj if their kid gets bitten/hit/stomped on unless the hitter/biter/stomper is of an age where they can control it. 2 isn't.

dh is out this evening. Fil was getting a new pacemaker fitted but wasn't able to be sent home today so dh is off visiting him with mil. Time to surf MN, see if anything's happening!

Sorry been away so long. Been feeling all insular but have been lurking and reading.

Hope don't mind but not doing loads of personals but HAVE read everything!

Lizz - biting, have text you. J never been a biter, more snatcher however he did bite DH other day unprovoked. We used naughty step and severe telling off which seems to work. However, I do sit in the camp of biting back if they are a continual biter BUT I appreciate a lot of people won't agree with this. It worked for my sis and two friends but if you don't agree then I would asopt naughty step approach.

2Happy - agree re parents not getting worked up about their children being bitten but J was bitten really badly at soft play unprovoked, it broke the skin and left a mark for 2 weeks - it still comes up if he gets cold. I was angry as I felt the child's parent should have been watching their child closer. It is difficult though - I try not to be too judgemental about differing parenting styles cos it is hard enough without in-fighting between parents

EAH/LAL - Dublin sounds great - I know we enjoyed it although thought it was expensive

Reggiee - my cat went scatty last pg but not bothered this pg. Weird that they can sense it. Hope you feeling OK.

Raisin - keep waiting for that text! Hope you are holding up OK.

I can remember now why I hate pregnancy so much. Can't poo, my fanjo feels twice it's normal size, can't sleep...I could go on but I won't. Am huge. Really big but all out front - totally different to last time. LO is very wriggly and kicking loads. Can't believe I am nearly 24 weeks! It's flying past.

Anyway, nothing interesting to report, just wanted to let you know I was still alive

Lizz- Biting is crap. So over it! Ruth is mostly associated with Rachel and jealousy. And she is much worse when teething back teeth. Sure I rem that Luke being the same with his teeth. I have been timing out or putting her down and ignoring her which she hates. Hope it gets better soon. I also watch her closely with other children but she only seems to do it with us and Luke and Rachel.

We have chicken pox! Well, not me and DH but Ruth has it and think Luke is getting it now. Ruth has not been too bad, but typical that when I have loads of things planned with my mum at half term, they get ill!

Thanks for all advice about words. Have noticed that Ruth is saying more and more words I understand so maybe just a case of waiting. She has done everything in her own time so I suppose this will be no different!

Hi all from vino. Been dashing about lately but I am still around even if I don't get chance to post. I should be ironing at the moment but I'm not.

Ellen still bites when she gets all worked up, sometimes bites furniture too, whatever she is annoyed with really. she also bites sylvie but tries to hide it by kissing her hand but tbh I haven't really done that much about it, just
hoped it would stop.

Sylvie still has cold. She is eating better and sitting up really well now.

Don't feel I have been up tomuch very exciting lately.

Pg insomnia again. Am watching Discovery Home & Health channel's "baby hour" .

Just done loads of work too (5 working days left in the office!). Am feeling surprisingly awake as was a 4am get up rather than a 1am.

Dragon - the pox!!! Oh no!! Hope you are surviving. Am sure it is only a matter of time here. It's been round nursery twice and we've avoided it so far. Are you checking Rachel for spots? Typical half term entertainment....

Vino / Wilkie nice to see you both here again! Can't say I've done anything exciting either. Such is my life at the minute. Off to the Dales in a fortnight though! Either of you free this Friday?

What's everyone planned for half term then?

Hi everyone - thought everything was kicking off again yesterday as was having really painful contractions which kept settling into a pattern and then tailing off. Saw a really lovely community mw though - I'm hoping that when it does happen I can have her again. Just getting so fed up with being in pain with no result, and worried that I won't be able to cope with the pain when it does happen properly.

Lizzz - Z has been bitten a few times at nursery (once on the face) and it was usually because he has snatched something from another child. My attitude is, "Well, that'll teach him not to snatch, won't it?" I'm with 2Happy, there's no point going into Rage Mode when your kid gets bitten, it's something some kids go through at the end of the day and I think most of them grow out of it by 3 or so, going by what I've read on here. Much sympathy though, I can imagine that it must be a nightmare!

Happy Birthday Raisin!
DH - Have you got Calamine aqueous cream in? Its miles better than calamine lotion. I think we got through about 2 or 3 pots of it when DJ was pox ridden. Hope they don't get it too bad.

Thanks for the advice re biting everyone.
2Happy, I think he is teething at the back of his mouth atm. So it may well be related.
Last night was a total nightmare with him, he didn't get to sleep until about 9pm, after screaming for well over 2 hours. He had THREE bottles of milk. Its because he is hungry but won't eat tea properly. (last 2 days he's basically eaten a small bowl of plain pasta) Its doing my head in! When DP got back at 8.30pm last night I was practically in the corner rocking.
The not eating
The constant tantrums
The biting & hitting
The constant screaming
The never sleeping through, and hating his bed...
...toddlers are NOT fun. Please someone reassure me that all this stops when they turn 3! I can't contemplate ever going through this again with another child, its exhausting.

Forgot to say, LTH popped into see me at work last week. She had really nice eyeshadow on. I however looked like a trog.
Had my hair cut yesterday though, so now, I look like a more glamourous trog!
Have morning off to go to the Drs...for appt with nurse...ugh, for y'know what to be done. Great. Better go shave my legs!

hoe you are having a fab birthday Raisan maybe baby will come today to share your bday?

Rgee - glad you got some work done I hated teh weird times I used to wake when I was execting H, although I suose it gets you used to night feeds. Bet you cant wait to start mat leave

DH- so sorry to hear about the infected ones have to agree with Lizz aqueaous calamine is thge best

Wilkie - I cannot believe you are 24 weeks already

Lizz - Do mothercare sell numberjacks stuff as eddas ds obsessed and its his bday soon. poor you with DJ, I am not going to comment on 3 or 4 year olds though

Having said that I have set up the pla yroom with all their kitchen bits, food, table , till, tea set etc and they have been playing together for at least an hour without bothering me once or arguing

Vino - meant to ask how is the running going?

eah - We had numberjacks advent calenders. May possibly have easter chocs with them on too. Not sure though.

Very Drs just rang, appt has been cancelled. Rearranged for next wed afternoon. REALLY annoying. Not totally sure what to do with myself now.

Am making effort to catch up while I'm having my lunch break at work.

Reg - I'll be at work on Friday sorry. Hope you have a nice day anyway.

E&H - running going ok thanks. Had a week or so off cos of the snow and slippy pavements but managed 50 minutes on sunday and could have gone longer. Go vino!

DH and I are struggling with T at the moment cos of her 'no no no' no mummy' 'leave it' she is so desperate to do everything herself but takes so blumin long sometimes I lose patience. Then at other times she is a little cutie and we adore her.

Lizz - hope you find something nice to do instead of being at drs.

DH at home with girls today and they are going to ikea this afternoon then coming to pick me up. I gave ellen a pound to put in her purse so she can spend it there. I wonder what she'll come back with!

Vino - who is 'T'? Have you had another we don't know about

PCF - yes, my friend's little boy's tummy is like that. But he has a hernia. Have you spoken to your GP about your worries? I'm sure Max is fine if he is ok in himself.

Lizz, are you ok? You sound, well, knackered.

Raisin - happy birthday. So you're sick by now of people saying things like each contraction helps?! Hope they really are helping, and when it happens it's all the smoother!

Wilkie - are you ok too?! Insular ok or insular down?

DH - hope the pox clears soon, second the calamine in aqueous recommendation. Calamine on it's own is rubbish!

PCF - I know someone who's 2 yr old had a sticky outy tummy like that and he had coeliac (and his eating was rubbish too!). Maybe mention to your doc?

vino - 50mins? Go vino!!

PCF - TBH I would take him to GP, doesn't look quite right to me. Plus, if all OK it will put your mind at rest.

2Happy - not OK insular. Just a bit down about a few bits, nothing major. I have no energy to do anything outside of work and everything is SUCH an effort. I feel like I am being lazy. Am crap at keeping in contact with friends and feel like I'm not being a great mum to J....oh I could go on so I will shut up

Wilkie, I know if LTH were here she'd be giving you hugs... But seriously. I think being pg is much harder 2nd time - maybe it's all less magic and new, maybe it's just harder because you're already looking after a toddler. It's bone-tiring, sometimes, plus you know how tiring the next bit if going to be too!!
And you're in a shitty job. And you just moved to a new area. And you're not a crap mum.
I swear, when you're pg, and after with a wee one on your hands too, oh and just all the time if you're me!!! you can't be sunny and jolly and happy with your lo all the time. You don't have the energy to give them the absolute constant stimulation they need - honestly, when I see what ds1 gets up to at nursery, I can see why he was getting fractious with me before he started 5 mornings a week. There's no way I was giving him enough attention/exercise/social stimulation/whatever, no matter how hard I tried, I could never keep that level of input up 5 days a week. But I don't think that makes me a bad mum (well sometimes I do on bad days!!), it makes me no different to anyone else (except those random supermums whose only reason for existence seems to be to make everyone else feel like shit). I wish I was more motivated, less lazy, less shouty, more chilled... but let's face it, if we all worked a job as hard and as constantly as we work as mums for as long as we have, we'd a) be earning a fortune, b) be having nervous breakdowns c) be having 6 weeks holiday a year and/or d) have quit months ago! Motherhood ain't easy, and it's not fair on yourself to make the job harder by being hard on yourself. [hugagainsorry]

2Happy - I love hugs so hug away! I know, DH and I have been discussing it tonight. I have very high expectations of myself and spend my life feeling guilty. Everyone seems to be doing everything so much better than me. I find it hard to keep on top of the housework. I find it hard keeping up contact with my friends (I have loads of 'friends' but only a few very close friends - I worry people think I don't make enough effort to stay in contact), I find it hard keeping up with J's demands for 'playing'.

On the flip side, he came home with a sticker for 'good manners' and nursery have commented how beautifully he says please and thank you ALL the time which made me feel good. He is a little gem of a child and apart from the odd days and times, I can't really complain so that makes me think I must be doing something right.

I just feel lazy, fat, uncomfortable, pukey feeling, scared about having 2 children, worried how I'll cope etc etc.

I'm sure it is just another down in the huge ups and downs of my hormones. I do feel better than I did last pg so my ADs are obv doing something.

I bet I really make you want to visit now...

We're our own worst enemies. I don't know you, of course, and maybe you're absolutely awful....somehow, though, I doubt it. You love your son deeply, that's more than some kids get for a start and it's not even something you have control over.
If you could get a sensible answer from a 2 year old, the one thing they would need is a parent/parents that love them and try their best (of course if you really ask them what they want, it would be "to eat this piece of mud, mummy" or something!). This beautiful, awesome, cute, hilarious, sometimes stroppy bundle is yours, lucky you, whether you believe you deserve him or not - but that's just your self-esteem talking. Listen to me preaching like I have all the fecking answers, just wish there was a way to make us all feel good enough, more than that, good. Proper [hug].

2Happy - you have written some truly wonderful things this evening. I think you've summed it up fabulously.
Wilkie - I really hope my toddler ranting did not offend you. As soon as I posted it I did question its 'conducisiveness' (sp?!)
PCF - DJ has a swollen belly and a skinny body, but not to the same extent as Max's, I'd take him to the Dr, it could be something really simple.
(btw, he ate 4 fish fingers today! - thats it, nothing else - but hey, protein and fat in one day, thats 2 food groups!)

I had a break through today, when DJ came back from nursery, I kept him up, no nap time, and then just brought tea time & bath time forward. So had tea at 4pm ish and bath time at 5pm ish. He was in bed by 6pm and asleep by 6.15pm! Job done
Unfortunately, there was a fatality on the track on the train line home which DP gets (2nd one this week) so it took him 3 hours to get home. So I've had alot of free time this evening! Flapjacks baked - check, Ironing done - check, E! news fix had - check!

Think I may have to go to bed now though. xxxx

Lizz - why would you offend me?? Don't be daft!!!! We all have our own issues to contend with - that's why this thread is so good for sounding off on. DJ sounds like he is being extremely challenging at the moment, big hugs to you. Parenting is bloody hard work!

I agree with Lizz, 2Happy you have been the voice of reason tonight and I feel loads better. Thank you xx