Hello all,
not caught up, but wanted to get back to you Butterfly.
I'm with you, my children all know how to behave because they have had firm boundries set. This is just how I see things, and we might handle the same situation very differently, but this is my view, if it helps (which I hope it does). I worry about being a bit bossy sometimes BTW!
Yes, you absolutely can step in with regard to other people's children if they are not being effective and your children are suffering.
I'm fairly forthright (you'd never have guessed, huh?) and would step in. If you suspect DD is being spoken to unkindly, you can speak to the other girls (preferably when the other mum isn't around). Its how you do it. I like to adopt a 'sing-song' manner. all laaa-laaa-laaa, lets be lovely to each other, with an undertone of "I know what is going on, I am watching you."
I think it is rude to discipline or tell off a child if the parent is there. However, if that parent is crap, I will over-rule them. In my sing-song manner
Consistency is so important, and by standing up for our children, we are leading by example.
So please, don't ever feel you can't say anything because you are in someone else's house.
Alternatively, have them over to your house where the boundries are firmly set and teach the brats a lesson - I mean in how to behave appropriately, not in any other way!