Ha, cheers LES!
right i'll give the basic reasons for the 'break'
-after my brothers wedding, when he was very drunk, i caught him in a position where it looked like he was about to kiss my friend, altough theres a good chance it was innocent, he was very drunk, he swore that there was no intention there, but if he's like that when i'm on the house, what is he like when i'm not arouns at all.
-also around the same time, he had sent his exgf a text saying he thinks about her every day, but he said he didn't mean it like the way that i saw it, just that she was upset they didn't see each other as friends anymore and she didn't want the last 4 years to be wasted and he'd just forggotton about her and the good times bla bla bla.
-he claims he is not embarrassed about being part of my family and playing the father figure in Shannons life, yet he covered the car seat up in his car with a blanket after a work colleague took the piss out of him, because it was pink apparantly, which i can kind of understand but when i asked him about it, he said he had just threw the cover in the back and it landed on it, but he was lying, he had actually draped it on, which he later admitted.
-he is due to go on a clubbing weekend, which is kind of an extention to his week in faliraki, which he asked me if i wanted to go on, so i said check with all the others that its ok for me to tag along but then i saw a message on his facebook, where he basically said i was nagging him to go(which i wasn't!) so i said i wouldn't bother, as i don't want his mates thinking i'm a nag and he probably didn't want me to go anyway.
-I also found lots of messages on his facebook from women in between him breaking up with his ex and meeting me (he'd deleted the inbox, but not the sent box) which where pretty sexually explicit and he also called them stuff like darling, princess etc, so i can't stand him to call me them iyswim, I know he's bound to have had a life before me, i just wish i didn't have them imags in my head.
-I had to wait in at his house last week because he was working and someone was coming to buy his car, the internet wasn't working so i had a nosy at his pics, there was a floder of pics with someone he'd been sleeping with(which i find a bit weird, they're where only seeing each other for 6 weeks) and alos a half naked one of his ex, plus others that wheren't too bad. I don't expect him to delete holiday pics or whatever, but i think one in her bra is a bit much, also he'd deleted his history and emptied his recycle box, so i couldn't see anything, because he knew i was going round.
-last but not least, i went to his house on sunday daytime (he was at work) he lives near to where i was going(no toilets) and i was desperate, i sneaked a peek at his laptop and he had changed his password and created me an account.
Anyway, i didn't mention that i'd been round, and he later mentioned that he'd created me an acocount, and i said 'why bother, i hardly ever go to your house' he said he thought i'd appreciate it, i asked him twice if he'd changed his password for his own account and he said no twice, and then he said, yes i have actually i don't know why i lied, he then admitted he'd felt violated as i had looked at his pictures (which yes, i can understand that too)but he should have just said that instead of lying.
ha, that wasn't very basic was it!.. anyway-I realise that I am pretty paranoid, and these things haven't been discovered by accident, i've searched for them due to being lied to so many times previously. I know most of the things seem pretty pathetic, i just can't get rid of the sick feeling i have when i think about them. Also, i'm worried that he is taking too much on, with him being so young. He's excellent with the girls, really supportive about everything, pretty much the perfect man apart from all the reasons above-but as i say, i have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that just wont let me feel happy or trust him...so hopefully, i can clear my head in the next couple of weeks and choose the right path to take.
feel free to give your opinions....or just totally ignore me for being a fool