May 07: The one where SOH gets her tweed clothes and LG&T doesn't get any...

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I want to go to bed!

Good to know that Jam, mine have measured 1-2 weeks bigger but never 4 blinking weeks bigger! I dont think she feels that big, well i can feel chubby legs and arms and a round bottom, but that is normal for 32 weeks

Pink you need a certificate printed off, do one for yourself and for M too Remember praise him and he will keep it up.

Well done Pink that's brilliant! Will keep my fingers crossed for the same result tonight

LG&T, dont know anything about home births, but does that mean that its a NO or are you able to convince them to let you do it? How far are you from the hospital? Is their a MLU near you..? I have my fingers crossed that she stays put until at least 37wks

JAM sorry to see that you are not feeling well. Do you think it could be a 'sign'?

They cant say NO just strongly object. They have every time tbh so it is nothing new.

There is a lovely birth center at the end of the road but they wouldnt accept me with my 'risks' The nearest hospital is 40 minutes on a very good run. I doubt i would make it unless something was wrong in which case i should be in an ambulance with a midwife next to me. Not in a taxi with dh or possibly not depending on child care status.

The midwife said it may be they cannot offer a homebirth as they would not have a second midwife to send out, i said "never mind, the second midwife didnt make it with Hugs anyway"

Oh thats good then

Sorry I missed you AM - was dealing with an 'important' issue.

Good morning everyone!

Pink-It sounds like you had a pretty good night. Sounds like a step in the right direction.

AM--Hope your vacation is going well

LG&T-- Can't you just tell the midwife that your children are old pro's at this whole baby thing, and would suitable helpers.

Jam--Hoping your BH turn into proper contractions soon.

Me-I took the children yesterday to run errands and go to my midwife appointment, followed by a play date with my sil. Dh said he wanted to do some things in the house and lift his weights. Fair enough, I mean everyone needs alone time once in a while. Well I came home after being out for about 7 hours and the house was messier than when I left, and dh was taking a nap, having not done a single thing he said he was going to do.
I was so angry, and he didn't understand I calmly explained that he lives in our house, and if he cooks he shouldn't leave food out and dishes in the sink for me to clean when I come home. I said I don't mind cleaning up after the children, but he is an old man and knows better, and how to take care of himself. So he cleaned the kitchen and made dinner for us.

And I made an apple cake.

MKG, I forgot to say how nice a name Ellie is. I came across an adorable Latino name a couple of days ago - Tamia, is it used often, I had never heard of it before?

Well done Pink and well done MrPink. My twopenn'orth is only this. If she doesn't settle in your bed and is getting taken back to her cot anyway, why not just leave her there. By all means get M to go in and talk to her, but just tell her it's bed time and she has to sleep. End of story. I honestly think she will "get it" faster, because there can be no other outcome to crying than being told to stop crying and go to sleep in her cot. In and out of the cot is just giving her another "option" for "playtime", if you get me.

LOvely that you and your mum are ok with everything and fwiw, when A has had the odd bad night and I have "caved", she responded to DH putting her back in her own bed and telling her to keep quiet. Me, a mean Mummy, needing DH to do the stern talking.

You know, I really believe that in a couple of weeks, you and Lexie will have a fabulous night time routine going. She will know what's coming every night; bath, play, bottle, bed and she will accept it and get on with it. And when you're not uptight wondering what you're in for every evening, then you will really ENJOY your evenings with her and ENJOY the lovely quiet time that you and M have together when he does get home. Bear that in mind if you're feeling less empowered at any stage tonight. Well done, keep it up.

Speaking of pointless rows; I was narked at DH on Sunday because it had been a week since he had managed to participate in a bath time and I had "decided" that he probably wasn't going to help on Sunday because he was tired from being out all day and night on Saturday. Took ages of me being narky before I eventually said, "And then I have to do bathtime on MY OWN AGAIN tonight" and he goes, "Why, I thought I was bathing them." Oops.

Thanks TYG, I completely get you, and agree. I think I just needed to prove to myself that we could break the 'let's all go downstairs and watch TV at 3am' habit first. This has given me a real confidence boost, although I know tonight may be equally as hard, and Christmas is my goal for us all to be a much more well rested, happy and confident family. Of our own.

Now, a little exercise. I realised the other day that I spend a lot of time coming on here, moaning about things my kids have done, so I am going to write down a few things that have made me smile recently and I invite you all to do the same.

1. A couple of months ago, when we were visiting DH's parents, A spend ages playing in a shaft on sunlight in their living room, laughing out loud as the light hit different parts of her body. DH's nephew quite rightly said, "Oh how lovely to be so entertained by something so simple. We should all be more like that."
2. I love the way that O gives me a gummy grin from behind his dummy when I'm trying to encourage him to have a longer nap and he wants to get up. He smiles and grins and then falls back to sleep smiling. Very sweet.
3. Seeing S take pleasure in playing with her siblings. She's become really good with them.
4. O being amused that he can now remove his dummy from his mouth using his hand, as opposed to spitting it out, then struggling to get it back in again. His aim isn't great.
5. Bathtimes were a real struggle with two babies at first, but now O lays on the mat and coos and gurgles during nappy off time, while A lazes head back in the bath having her hair washed. She then accommodates O in the bath and enjoys watching him kicking his legs in delight while he lays back unsupported on the bath mat. It's so very cute. I must get a video.
6. S often comes to help at bathtime and we get some time to chat as well.

TYG what a fab thing to do. I will think on it.

Am still teary, in fact prone to explosion of the most pathetic kind at any moment.

DH was back for the doc trip, phew. The paharmacist is lovely, he took ds#3 and dd behind the counter and taught them to be Pharmacists ds was busy explaining why i needed such a huge bottle of Gaviscon, he even got the acid reflux and tummy postion right while dd explained where her Growth Hormone prescription might be as he couldnt find it. She described how it is made up so he knew where to look Genius children i tell you.

DH has been in the kitchen since he got home, Wednesday is teach the twins to cook day. Today is Lasagne and garlic bread. They are appaling and his patience is much better than mine. I don't want them leaving home relying on a poor wife to do everything for them. Beans on toast is not acceptable

I am trying not to think of the giant child inside me, she had better sort herself out. I do not want an 11lb baby.

MKG Ellie is sweet, One of my fave names is Isadora. She could be an Issy then, also cute. Ellie\Ella is top 10 over here and has been for a few years now. I know several Ella's and most have the middle name Grace! Love that name too.

Of course we have our own Ella on the thread Gorgeous girl that she is. I have a pic of dd in the same Mini dress that Ella has on your FB pic AM. She was 2 and a half and dancing under the water fountain in Disney.

Some very touching posts here today.

OK-Here are my top 10 proud moments.

1. The other day when ds1 was sick and vomitting ds2 grabbed his sick bucket and gave it to him. It didn't matter that he wasn't vomitting at the time, it was the gesture.

1. Trick or treating with Mateo was so much fun and I had a blast walking with him in the dark talking about pumpkins, and all things thomas the tank engine.

1. When soothing Mateo to sleep while he was sick I was rubbing his face when I stopped he said, "Pet me more mama"

1. Mateo's new favorite thing is to sit on the stairs and talk with me. We sit at the top and having chats about what we ate during the day and where we're going to go. The other day he walked around the corner and said, "Dada, mama and me are being romantic"

1. Cruz has started to clap his hands during diaper changes which is super cute.

1. It's only been two weeks and Mateo has gone from diapers all the time to diapers only at night, and has only had two accidents.

1. The other morning I picked Cruz up out of his crib and he put his head on my shoulder and sighed " ah. . .ah . . .ah" So damn cute!

1. Mateo has taken to painting the walls with my husbands clear deoderant, which I don't care for too much, but at least the house smells really good now.

1. When giving input in names Mateo always takes my side against his fathers.

10. Cruz has taken to climbing on the sofa, and falling down onto it. Not a good habit I know, but the look on his face while free falling is priceless.

Hi all, sorry have had only had time to speed read through.Sorry again about Monday PJ.I am worried you were annoyed and I was so upset not to be able to come.But M had been up all night and was boiling and coughing and L was coughing and I didnt feel great either so thought would spare you the dubious pleasure of our company..

FWIW M is also up two or three times a night at the moment, after being a perfect sleeper since birth.DH has had exams today and yesterday and has one tomorrow so for the last nights I have muddled through and put her in bed with me where she has wriggled and chatted on till dawn (DH has slept in the spare room to get some kip for his exam sharpness)Tomorrow night however when no one needs to be at peak alertness the day after she will be getting the TYG treatment and once in cot will be staying in cot no matter what.L also did this at the same age and was soon back to normal after a few nights of extinction (I didnt know it was called that either!)
TGhat said L is not going to bed very well at the moment and is playing us up something rotten so you see, it never ends

Why did you flounce Mrs JB?I had noticed you wre gone but thought you were on hol

Come back SOH..I need you..

Hello to everyone else and thankyou for all your words of support.I have had a busy few days at work as its contract review time with the borough.Social care is not a nice profession at the moment-all feels a bit witch hunty rightly or wrongly- and the borough are being extra critical so it hasnt been an easy series of meetings and I am still feeling a bit weighed down.I will discuss with DH tomorrow when his exams are over (yay!) and see what he thinks about going to the Dr..It would freak him out royally if I just went and got signed off or whatever the alternative is...

Must go as am going out to dinner with my NCT friends.Have missed the last three nights out so am determined to go this time, knackered or not.(Also I have a huge spot, which never happends to me.Honestly, its like a boil!Am going to have to arrange my hair in some sort of style to cover it up for fear of scaring the other diners!)

Well done on the weight loss TYG BTW..Very proud of you..

Oh scoot if it's a boil pop it. I had one on my leg once, and I took a pin and some tweezers and just dug at it and dug at it, and pulled out the most disgusting black core. It was so cool. My sister took pictures of it.

I dare not pop it.The pus may not stop before I have to meet everyone in half an hour.

TMI?

Just a quickie.....

Eye, Eye!!

PJ, I am smiling at todays posts, what a very clever girl you are. Last night was a huge step in the right direction. I echo the consistency bit from lg&t!!! Be careful not to get dragged into the debating with her, "if you do this, we'll do this" etc... she's not really old enough to rationalise that technique yet and it may make her frustrated. Keep it simple and consistent! You are doing great! try giving her her milk in her cot, it will cut out the your bed bit very easily!

Scoot, TMI? never on this thread, did you pop it? Less said about my flounce the better now, I am OVER it! lol I am rubbish at flouncing anyway!

Lg&t, I didn't realise you were feeling crap today earlier when we spoke. I'm sorry, I hadn't had chance to look here yet. I'd have given you a big slap hug! Hope the girl stays put for a bit yet!

TYG, I'm thinking on the smiling events.....may take me a while.

TMAM.... tsk, real life friends are shite, my ishhhoo lives next door, not so easy to phase out. I'm waiting for my sunshine and pirates.

I'm dipping out of secret santa this year. Sorry, PJ I still use and love my R&M lip glosses.

Not such a quickie, sorry If I forgot anyone. Off to bed.

Scoot did you pop it?

PJ how was last night?

TYG I will have a think about that list and get back to it later on.

Well the vomming appears to have stopped.Thank god. I am not cut out to be ill am really rubbish at it. Just feel really weak and feeble today. moan moan moan.

Jam, it really takes it out of you though being sick. I hope you feel better soon.

Not sure I did the right thing this morning. I smiled sarcasticaly breifly at my friend/neighbour when she said hello at school. I am just so cross with her, I knew that I'd either say something I'd later regret or I'd cry if I did anything else. It was made worse by her son running up to me saying C, we went swimming with S & B yesterday! She'll come running back when she's had enough of her new friend I know, but thats the bit making me feel shitty! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr I am terribly pre-menstral and still homesick so it is all 10 times worse. I am considering coming off my pill, I think that may be half my monthly depression I seem to be getting.

TYG and MKG - what a lovely thing to do, I am smiling at the things that make you smile!

LG&T - my BF is 38 weeks pregnant and now has the flu. She is coping with that and her 2yo. Just. I am on hand with chocolates and sympathy.

Scoot - I was absolutely not upset with you, don't talk crazy! Besides, we've got CP soon.

Mrs JB - thanks for your words (and texts) of encouragement. I feel like I have really turned a corner with L over the last couple of days, and have been much more calm and confident with her. We struggled a bit last night, as she wouldn't go to sleep in her cot, which we knew would happen after the cot related hysteria the night before. So that's the next job to tackle. However, dh didn't come in until 9.45pm and I have decided that I am not prepared to do it alone. So we've agreed to deal with it at the weekend. Together. That said, she slept all night (with us) and didn't wake at all.

On the mum front, I told my mum not to come round last night. She turned up anyway.

What happened with your neighbour, Mme? Did I miss something?

Anyone any thoughts on getting rid of the dummy? I just posted on a dummy thread from earlier this month with people suggesting cold turkey in 16-17 week olds.

O used to be ok to settle himself without the dummy after his last feed, but a couple of times, when I was in a hurry to leave the house, I've popped the dummy in and now of course he finds it hard to go to sleep without it. He constantly knocks it out, so I'm caught between my mean-Mummy "leave him to settle himself" thoughts and "but he won't cry if he has his dummy" thoughts.

He's just getting really into putting things (including own hands) into his own mouth, so am thinking that now is a good time to go cold turkey? I definitely am not getting up in the night to replace lost dummies, that's for sure. He's almost asleep now, with his hand up at his face ready to whip the dummy out at a moment's notice...

However, since I'm leaving him for the night next week and he'll be on bottles instead of boob for 24 hours, it's probably best to not do anything until I get back? Also Mother is arriving for La Grande Visite this Saturday, so should I use the extra help while she's here to train O, or wait until the house is back to normal again?

Also plan to nap train properly when I get back, because the poor little sausage is exhausted by 4pm every day from broken naps.

OR Do I get brave and DO IT NOW? Can we be all sorted by next Saturday so I don't need to worry when I'm away? Or will it be a week of wasted upset, because it all goes out the window when I go away for the night? Am feeling a bit wussy about it all. A so desperately needed more sleep (and wouldn't take a dummy) that it wasn't hard to let her cry, (I'm sure her night sleep was sorted in about three days) but this dummy thing is foxing me with O.

Come and help the Queen of Sleep. The Dummy Monster is making me doubt my methods.

Typically, I can't help TYG, as L still has a dummy at bedtime. But I'm sure you would have guessed that!

TYG, my bf here lives next door. We have done most things together for the last 4 yrs, our kids are the same age and get on reasonably well, we parent the same way and are really quite good friends. She is someone i would be friends with in the UK. (easy here to be pushed into friendships that wouldn't really happen, just because both are expats) Early in the year, 2 new english kids joined the school. H doesn't like the lad the same age as him but tolerates him, his younger brother is very sweet. The Mum is very nice. Through the summer we did things together, it was nice. Neighbour and I have always spent non-school days arranging playdates or going somewhere together etc... Since I got back from the UK I seemed to have been dropped. They have spent every non-school day together doing things with the kids, I have either found out after or been reluctantly told by neighbour before but not invited. Yesterday was just the icing on the cake. Neighbour and I have always taken our kids swimming together, I noticed she'd gone out early yesterday (unusual), H had been naging for her lad to come over. I thought they'd gone shopping or the like. I waited til after lunch and then called her mobile. She was very shifty on the phone, 'Oh, we've just got out of the pool, L(other mum) phoned last night bollox to see if we wanted to go swimming with them. I replied with Oh, thats nice, ok, was just seeing what you were up to as H wanted to get together like we usually do on a wednesday! I said goodbye and hung up. I don't know why we are being excluded atm. I am unaware of any ill feeling between us etc.....
I just feel dissapointed that whilst she (neighbour) had no one else we were good enough for her! Now she appears to have a new friend we are not needed. She is obviously not bothered though as she has made no attempt to call or pop over this morning so I get the picture!

I know it's stupid and a childish, but I just feel hurt, even H said to me yesterday, why do they do everything with S & B now and nothing with us. He is not 6 yet so it must be fairly obvious as I had said nothing to him. I'm Ok to do all her french translations for her though!!!!

Do not doubt yourself TYG, deep down you know the answer. Cold turkey is the only way! If it really bothers you him having one than loose it now, forever!! chop all the tops off them and do not buy anymore. I am not against dummys, H had one but I do remember the endless trips out of bed to pop back in the dummy to settle the baby who only knows how to suckle to sleep. You can for sure be sorted by next sat. 3 nights cold turkey and consistent I reckon!