Oct 2007 - This little piggy had pureed butternut squash and a slice of pear...

[alicet]

Well thought I should start a new thread in time to link it on the old one!!!

alicet - sounds very frustrating. Do you keep in contact with any of your colleagues..??
Maybe if you told them it was a HR fuck up, word will get around that you're not skiving....

alice - how blo0dy frustrating! on your behalf - is there any chance of you getting in touch with hr and asking them to sort it out? Seems only fair that they've cocked up, so they should sort it!

Mine - I agree about going and treating yourself to a coffee, or finding a mums & toddlers group - the local churches usually run them, or your could try your local library, as they may do a list of activities.

We've been to Cardiff Castle today for a mask-making workshop - it was fun: we took Rhydian's friend with us too, and had a lovely time, then we went for lunch in a cafe in town.
However, I've got the lergy the kids have had - and I feel very poorly with it - my peak flows are all over the place, and I'm sucking on my inhalers like sweets!
Have been to the GP this pm, and she's told me to take it easy ... methinks dh will be on duty this weekend ...

Have a good one all - I'm almost looking forward to Rhydian going back to school on Monday - it's been lovely to have him home, but I'll be glad when M & I can get back into our normal routine ...

Mine I know the girl pretty well who has been emailing me and I have explained that to her. Problem is that we all move round into different hospitals every year - I would have been due to start in this one the day after Adam was born if I hadn't been on mat leave. I have worked in this hospital before a few years back but people change. Not great to get this sort of reputation before I even start expecially when with children in nursery you need a degree of flexibilty anyway!

cross posted ejt...

Your day out sounds lovely - sorry you're not feeling well though

You're right getting in touch with HR would be the logical approach but me thinks as they've royally fucked this up already there isn't any point. They don't do the rota anyway. If I am down to do a weekend then I will speak to the consultant in charge and point out how unfair it would be to expect me to do it. Thankfully as I am on a job share I would only be expected to do half the weekends I should be doing if I was fulltime anyway so I could ask my job share partner to do it. Further complicating things is the fact that she is on long term sick leave with terrible hand eczema so they are having to get locum docs to cover her shifts. So in a way that makes it easier - I will ask them to get a locum and I will do the next 2 weekends.

Sorry - rambling now. That proabbly doesn't make any sense but it's been quite therapeutic to me to write it all down and see there are probably ways round it!!!!

Oh and ejt congrats on the weight loss and for making the hat in double quick time!

sounds like they can cover you until you're ready to go back alicet. Don;t cave into work pressure!!!

Thanks for the tips ladies.. I do go out with ds a lot. We;re out almost every day.. my frustration lies in that fact that i just want some time to myself. I have nothing of my 'old' life that i do now, it just completely revolves around eren and dh, family, friends. I just want some time to do something just for me.

Sounds selfish i know. DH has his shooting thing, which is an all day event every other weekend. Most of my really good friends don't have babies. There are only so many haircuts, manicures a girls needs, and i can;t afford to do that every week.

I was pathetic enough to look forward to going to the doctors this morning and leave Eren with dh for an hour!! How sad is that. i mean who looks forward to sitting in a over heated room of sick people just to have some time to themselves!

I'll get over it, i have bouts of self pitty then move on!

Mine - does your local leisure centre have a creche? You could make a point of leaving Eren there once a week - whether you then do something wholesome (like go to the gym / swim) or not (sit in the café watching the world go by), it would at least give you a break!

I think that one of the things that has kept me from going stir crazy this time is that I've carried on with the choir, and with my Welsh lessons - for those couple of hours, I'm not mammy, I'm just me ...

alice - good luck whatever you decide to do about your on-call hours ...

Off to put M to bed now ....

Alice - and for you. I totally agree with the others (and you!) stand your ground. Your collegues will understand I'm sure and will then be annoyed at the right people and not you!

Mine - I know exactly what you mean about life with lo's being a bit boring and wanting some 'you' time. What did you do before lo that you really miss and you don't do now? Is there anyway you can work a little of this into your new life? I imagined where I'd be in 5 years time (have you ever done this, it's quite an eye opener -some of my friends hadn't even thought about the idea that they could have personal goals) If you were at work I would assume that you would have some sort of plan, whay not treat your home life just the same? I want to be an Ed Psych and so just worked back detailing what I'd have to do to get there. Yes this was a work plan but for me it is a 'me' plan. I now know I'll be re-enrolling on the OU course I started in sept to start next feb. This will give me time to do the thing I really love doing -learning. Sounds crap I know but it's a case of whatever floats your boat. (I am an anal planner though so ignore me if this isn't really the advice you were after x)

We did go the NHM today and Ollie was fab. He was great on the train/underground and in the Museum itself. He was a little scared of the animated T-Rex but the second time round he was calling it a cheeky monkey. We went back to Hungerford (where we got the train after dropping H off at Nursery) fed the ducks in the sunshine and then visited the sweet shop where Ollie spent his 30p pocket money (10p extra don't you know for being brave at the Drs yesterday ) Henry had been for a walk in the sunshine with the other babies at nursery (that's why I really like them there) and also fed the ducks so all of the muppet household had a great day.

I didn't meet up with TLES as I was crap and didn't get back to her in time with the arrangements. Sorry TLES - next time I will be better x

My Auntie is on facebook (how wierd) as is 2 of my cousins...It's nice to catch up though. They are on my mothers' side but they don't speak to her either so it's great to catch up with them knowing they won't pass anything on.

Love to all
x

Mine just thought that if you look after Eren every other weekend so that dh can go shooting can you ask him to look after Eren the alternating weekends so you can have some me time?

dh works shifts and doesn;t always have weekends off so taking turns on weekends is hard. He's actually very supportive and a great help with Eren..... his 2nd mum in fact .. well most of the time!

I'll have to wait until my mum gets back from her holiday next month to get some regular me time. She's retired and has more flexible time.

I feel so guilty for wanting time away from my son. He is such a good boy too, sleeps well, eats well, doesn;t often cry for no reason, but for some reason i just feel... trapped i think is the word i'm looking for.

MN is a great lifeline. It helps to talk on here as its all mine if you know what i mean, but i need to get to just switch off.

I'm going to burst with frustration, I'm crying as i write....

Mine just wanted to send you some hugs, I am thinking about you. I hope you manage to get some time out this weekend for a cup of coffee or a walk or whatever it is you enjoy doing and try not to feel guilty about it, you are not the only one who feels like this, I feel exactly the same (just thought it might help to know that you are not the only one feeling like this)

oh Mine, >

Could you find a lovely nursery that could have Eren 1 morning/afternoon a week? This would give you regular 'me' time. Ejt's idea of using the local leisure centre's creche is great I would have thought they would be very reasonable. Are you planning to go back to work? Could you do one day a week now?
You are perfectly allowed to feel as you do, please don't beat yourself up about it. Being a mum is the hardest job in the world and finding it unfulfilling/giving you feelings of being trapped/being boring is very separate from the feelings you have for Eren. If you were givn a repetative job or any description I'm sure you find that equally unfulfilling so why should this be any different? Yes, some wome absolutely love being at home full time and that's great for them but if you're not one of those women then that's equally fine imho. It's really good that you're talking about how you feel even though it upsets you >>> as at least your getting things out.

Do you have someone you could leave Eren with for even a short time to give you a break?

Mine -are you on your own now?

I feel like this sometimes too Mine - it's no reflection on the love you have for your little boy. It's normal - you are Mine too and were for a very long time before you were ever Eren's mummy... Does your dh know how you feel? Doesn't need to be a strict tit for tat arrangement but I'm sure if he is supportive as you say and he knew you felt this upset about it, between you you would be able to find a time for you to do something for yourself? Who knows he might even really enjoy the time to have some quality father son time without you there? Have sent you a message on facebook if you want a chat... x

The gym I used to go to had a creche for £4.50 an hour...

hi
i'm on my own, dh is working tonight. Eren is asleep, and i have the TV to myself.

I've ordered chinese take-away and will eat until i am sick!
thanks for the support, it really means a lot.

I have spoken to dh about this, he is so supportive, is happy to look after Eren anytime, but work always gets in the way.

I tried to go to aerobics classes, but can;t go very regularly as it clashes with his work schedule.
The creche at our gym doesn;t take kids under a certain age without their mum/dad or someone they know. Stuid rule.

Maybe i should just make regular appointments at the doctors to ensure some 'me' time!

I guess my problem lies in the guilt i feel for just wanting bit of time off from my baby. I know it doesn;t make me a bad mother for craving time for myself but i can't help it.

I always feel better after a good cry.

hi guys,

Alice-grr at work, hope you get it sorted, just make it clear when you do go back that it wasn't your fault, well, maybe have a little grumble about it, i'm sure most people will understand. thanks for the poke by the way

mine-everybody totally understands how you feel, have you got any friends that you could have each others lo's for a couple of hours to give each other a break?

Muppet-awww bless the boys, dd1 didn't want to come in the room when Shannon had her jabs. well worth the extra 10p pocket money for being brave me thinks

well, i'm seriously sleep deprived, i didn't mind so much when Shannon wasn't sleeping when i knew she was teething, but she isn't tething now and keeps waking in the night, she isnt hungry or in pain, and although i know she isn't, the fuzzy mind sometimes thinks she's being naughty, but of course, she's just got herself into a habit, which i somehow need to sort out. i'm not feeling too good either, headachey and sick and my af, that was soo late has now lasted for 18 days and shows no sign of stopping, i know i need to go and see my GP, but i just don't have the energy at the moment.

anyway, sorry for the me me post, just thought i'd pop on, hope your all ok

Mine motherhood is all about guilt! Bet your dh doesn't feel so guilty! That's not a pop at him either - know mine doesn;t and he's as supportive as you could get! Just totalluy doesn't get it when I tell him I feel bad for leaving the boys sometimes!

J2O sorry to hear Shannon is sleeping so bad. And that your af is still going - from one extreme to the other!!! Hope you feel better in time for next Thurs!

Mine,
totally understand how you feel my dp also works shifts which means many nights i am alone with the 2 boys. I had a real moan at dp today because i so want some "time off", have to say he does his best to help me have this but when he does as soon as zachary cries i stop what i am doing and rush to him....I thought i would be a bit less protective with ds2 but am just same as i was in fact i am worse. I am really down today and yet there is no reason for it just wanting a bit of me time i guess, but i know i won't allow myself to have it.

LES - thats it in a nut shell, but i have decided to MAKE time for myself.... somehow.

Thank guys for the cyber shoulder to cry on.
xxxx

Mine i hope you manage it!!!!! and if you do tell me it is easy lol. then maybe i will be able to as well

Play up Pompey!!!!

Mine - I totally relate to what you are saying. I have that same trapped feeling right now and I feel a bit worthless because I am not earning, useless because I have totally failed to get myself a job and bored because life feels kind of mundane at times. All I see a head of me is endless hovering.

One thing I have done to try and help is join an evening class. It's really hard to be honest as I am so tired but at least it gets me out of the house. Might be hard if DH does shifts - could your mum watch the baby one night a week or something. My DH often works seven days a week so I know how tiring it gets. I hope you can find some time for you - you have to take care of yourself too!

Mine - I think if I ever get enough sleep to contemplate getting a life back then I would probably feel like you too. And my DH is around more. I wonder if you could do some stuff with friends who don't have babies but like to have a cuddle etc? I go for lunch a lot with friends who dont have babies (either have older kids or no kids yet) and they love to hold DD etc, so it's not just me with her, but it is proper conversation, adult time. Also maybe you could invite them over after your lo is in bed? Yours sleeps, I gather, which would make that possible. But hugs, anyway, guess this is about the time we all rise from the newborn stage and recall what life was like before and how it will be now!

Alicet, DH is horrified by your Pompey fandom (he's a Saint through and through, and DD has some Saints outfits, not that I would take her out in them.... I'm a toon fan theoretically but last went to a match in 1991 to impress then-boyfriend..). That doesn't half make me sound old!!! I'm only 32!

Bad night looming for us as DD hasnt slept for 6 hours and is in serious grump mode. We gave her every opportunity (carseat, swing, in daddy's arms) and she rejected every one and kept hurling her dummy across the room. Heigh-ho, fun tonight methinks. Having said that last night was pretty good - she only woke 4 times between 7 30 and 4 am. After 4 she came in with me cos she was just refusing sleep, so not much sleep after that as she gets up at 6 anyway and was dummy throwing before that, but at least before 4 she wasnt up every 45 mins as she has been doing so much!

Hugs to everyone...

Choc I am really a toon fan too (not that I follow things that closely...) but my Mum, Dad and rest of Mum's family are all massive Pompey fans so they are my 'second' team. Was just pretty excited that they might get into the FA cup final! They played crap but at least they made it in the end!

Hope your night wasn't as bad as you expected....

hello all - apologies for being away and missing everything, have been busy working etc.
I'm back really because of this
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1375/507381?stamp=080405173216
which has upset us quite alot.
If anyone has time/inclination please advise!

Hope everyone/babes all well.
Big R is still big - but growth slowed down a bit after going off his milk for a while.
Started him on bits of solids now which he is fairly intrigued by.

Sleep is still messy- my fault probably because I just love having him in with me.
Getting to the point though where will have to do some sleep training etc.

Apologies for not knowing what's going on with everyone - have I missed the London meetup?

Take care all. (anyone pregnant again yet?!!!!)