Jan '07 part 21: Rock a bye baby on the tree top; Now that they're 1 when's the tiredness stop??

[2happy]

(Not that all of them actually ARE one yet, but let's not split hairs...)

Nope. Not till end of year, possibly later. I have just been reading the book as a friend gave it to me. I am SOOOOOO broody. Nightmare!

Yeah Reggiee - Nosey Parker!

Off to bedski. Nighty Night xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

off to bed too, will ponder this further,can't bloody sleep at night through thinking about it.

Night...

shag all night then

God i'm soooo funny ...

Well, I think that if you:
Have the room for another baby,
Can afford it
Can safely have another in the car
want another baby

YOU SHOULD GO FOR IT!!!

you may well have a baby girl, you may not. However, you will love him/her and you have all the means with which to look after and bring him or her happily into the world. Seriously, one more will not make a huge difference to your family, it is already a lovely big one, so another will just fit in amongst all the rest of your lives.

I'm fairly sure that many, if not most, parents would have many children, if they could afford it, house the baby comfortably etc etc... you are incredibly fortunate and I personally think you must just go for it. you might, just might get what you wish for.

Or, failing that, you can have my tantrumming horrible, hair pulling, pinching baby girl, if you like??? >

I'd love a large family. I'd have another 3 or 4 if I were able to. I think we can manage another one. I'd LOVE a boy.

ok, so maybe not much help, but, I say: GO FOR IT. sounds like you would just like another one, deep down, you hope to have a girl, who wouldnt' after all those lovely boys? However, if you have a boy, I dont think hand on heart it will make a difference

Katierocket! KATIEROCKET you cannot just sidle in, post about being in awe of LTH, and sidle back out like you've been here all along. Tell us how you are? Are you getting any sleep these days?? COME BACK!!!!

LTH - I have posted a few times on MN on this subject. It's a difficult subject, because to people who have no gender preference, the idea of having a preference is alien and (quite often) really frowned on. I can totally understand people who have lost a baby, or who are TTC without success, or who have a child who has chronic health or mental health problems, think that everyone else should be happy to have a healthy child and think hoping for a girl/boy is sick. But, this is the way I see it. I am totally and overwhelmingly grateful and lucky to have got pg without difficulty twice and have 2 gorgeous wonderful boys who (chickenpox aside!) are healthy and happy. If I had another boy, another 2 boys, another 10 boys (nope, pelvic floor would have collapsed by then!) I would love each and every one of them absolutely, unconditionally and completely. But.. but it wouldn't stop me from having a desire for a daughter. I don't know why I want a girl - but I always saw myself as the mother of at least one daughter. But I see that my yearning for a girl is something within me which I don't particularly like, but it's like it's a part of me and I can't change it. But I see it as totally separate from the real children I have. If I had a girl, I wouldn't love her any more than my boys, or even any differently. It's so hard to explain. But I have the same fear about another child - would I be doing it just for the small chance of having a girl? If so, it's a ridiculous reason to have a 3rd child, because the odds are overwhelmingly against me ever having a daughter. But I would love the child no matter what its sex was. But I know that I will always always feel a sense of loss for the daughter I imagined myself to have that I will never have - and that particularly to someone who has lost a 'real' child must sound truely hateful - what would I know about the loss of a child, and I would never compare it to that, it's just I will always feel a bit sad. And I admit, I even feel sometimes like a failure for not being able to have a girl (yes I know than man determines the sex, and no-one has the power to choose it, but my feelings on this subject are nowhere near rational). I will always feel jealous of my sisters (both of whom had dd's) and I will always feel shitty when I go children's clothes shopping and see the gorgeous stuff you can get girls.

What a fucking essay. Sorry. You may have picked up that it's something I have dwelled on a bit!! I don't think wanting a girl is a good reason for having another baby; but I can't swear I won't be doing it myself. (And yes, we shall be TTC on about day 8 and no later, and I shall be consuming large amounts of dairy and all the other tales. And I shall have a boy and I shall love him fit to burst )

what have I missed?!?! You lot have been really chatty - can't possibly catch up on personals!!!

lth - I agree with susie - if you have the space, money etc for another, then why not. And you know you would love another boy as amuch as a girl.

Wilkie - how do you get a boy then? I really want 2 boys!

After going completely mental, I went down the planning office and looked at the plans, and it doesnt seem that bad - a long drive (the 'road') and a bugalow's garden backing onto ours. I might still object anyway...

2Happy, honestly, hand on hart all what you've said is in my mind too.
I will always want a girl. I was truely gutted at G's 20 week scan because I felt like I'd lost the chance to ever have agirl...to plait her hair, to paint her tiny toenails, bloody hell even be mother of the bride. I sobbed and sobbed for the girl I'd never have.

but when goerge was born I was so happy, I remeber when Dh bought the 3 big one up to hospital to meet G for thr first time. G was asleep on the bed and they were all sitting around him, in awe of him and (I'm in tears as I remebr this) I just felt so proud, as i looked at all my boys I thought "I made that" it was overwhelming and honestly the thought of the baby girl I wanted so much never even crossed my mind.

I think we will try again....Dh seems to have got over his wobble last night

Oh and yes, KatieRocket, get back in here and report all news!!

heart not hart....

Well I alwaya wanted a boy then a girl, was 100% convinced Ellie was a boy (took blue sleepsuits into hospital ) and I was in shock when they got her out and said its a girl, I knew Hattie was a girl and after several discussions etc dh caved and we found out from scan, he was devasted he really really wanted a boy and truly deep down (he wont admit it) he'd love to try again for a boy.

However, I was obviously doing something worng because both times we did the 'things' to conceive a boy and got 2 pink things (LTH plaiting hair is not that much fun when you are screaming at them to sit flippin still and it won't hurt) however I love my girls and if we were to have another (ie an accident or hell freezes over) I am fairly convinced it would be another girl (am sure the 2mc in between E and H were boys) and if we did have a boy it would end up being a girly boy (Ellie would be platering it with make up!)

Like everyone says if you can afford it, have space for it, think it would be fine in the family dynamics go for it (I am sure there are a few MNetters who are having opposite sex babies after 3 ie Hatrick has 3 girls expecting a boy, didnt magnolia have 4 girls then a boy etc etc so its not impossible that you will get a pink one )

Ah 2happy, that's kind. All is ok thanks. DS2 is no longer a shouty, upset groucher, he's now a happy, cheeky little tot. All down to the cows milk protein intolerance - god how I wish health visitor had known about that one and I could have avoided those first months of misery.

Apart from that, we've moved house which has been a huge change and I'm not sure whether it's for the best (that's a whole other thread!). I do lurk on this board a lot to see how everyone is getting on but I just never seem to have 2 mins to post. Will endeavour to be more visible!

Oh and had night from hell last night, preschool commitee meeting at my house, ellie rrefused to go to bed and sleep, woke hattie up they both screamed. Ellie saw her teachers at the hosue and thought she'd been naughty and they had come to tell me so sobbed till 8.30 then fell asleep. Hattie was stillawake and screaming at 11pm did a mahoosive poo at 1am and went to sleep.

Both went to MIL this morning in pj's as lifted them out of bed and put them in the car .

Oh and we are having a new school uniform/logo so need to go and think some ideas up and research costs etc

They do say 'New House ... New Baby' dont they !

I dont think we would ever have another one but I do realise that its quite easy for me to say that as I have a girl and a boy, so it never really mattered what number 3 turned out to be.

I do remember wanting a DD first time round, and I was over the moon when she was born, but I suppose that my emotions could have been of just a very proud first timer !

DH admitted some years later that he was disappointed as he did want a son. He wanted to kick a ball around with him... teach him to climb a tree... and eventully go to the pub with him ... all the things he did with his own dad when he was a lad. I guess its perfectly natural for us to want a child of our own sex as we can re-live some of our childhood memories through them, help them grow in the way we did and all that.

We could afford it and we have the room ( but DH would HAVE to get rid of his 2 seater then )but I think the age gap would be too much by now. As much as the older two dote an their baby brother and have often said they would like a little sister to 'even' things up, DD will be 11 soon, and I feel that sometimes I cannot give her my full attention because of DS2s needs.

So, to sum up LTH, I would not go for another, but I am not you, and do not have your reasons or hopes. You have to do what you think is right, but maybe give it a bit more time.....unless the deed is already done .. and in that case I'll await the announcement

More snow today .. hurray !

Right lth my thoughts are as follows :

I wouldnt have another personally but im blessed to have a boy and a girl so thats me done.

You dont seem ready to quit yet and I think when you feel like that you will regret in 2/3 years time that you hadnt tried for another.

I dont want you to be offended by this comment but say you left it 2/3 years and then decided to have another you will be older and there are more risks ect.

I dont want to say this because im embarresed but when we were ttc with lauren we did it doggie style all the time. Not saying do that and you will have a girl but you never no .

LAL think thats how we ended up with 2 girls

ok, this is completely off the subject.

but we have all been chatting ages, and I've never met any of you.

what do you all reckon to trying to organise a meetup at sometime? We could find somewhere central-ish, and stay at a hotel or something? It wouldnt have to be in the immediate future, but it'd be great to all get together (and have a weekend away )

Great idea bunny

Excuse my spelling its crap that last post was rubbish in the spelling department.

Rofl is that something else we have in common eah

bunny - fab fab idea, wilkie and I had a fab day lunching and shopping in London in October and I miss her and am desperate to meet lal and the others!!!

Wilkie and I were saying about an overnight meet up - we need to work out central location so these are the ones I know cut and paste with details and then we can work outr a good location

Eandh - Kent
Wilkie - Lincoln
LAL - Mansfield
Rgee - Leeds (?)
Lizzombie - Eastbourne

Laughalot so far our list of stuff the same without knowing is:-

Nursery set for aiden and ellie
baby walker ellie and aiden
car (when i had my old car!)
certain clothes for hattie and lauren
the sofas (before my new one!)
annoying elder children
the not settling at preschool child
me and your dh working in banks
the position we have sex in when ttc

what am I missing there have been loads more than that

Eandh - Kent
Wilkie - Lincoln
LAL - Mansfield
Rgee - Leeds (?)
Lizzombie - Eastbourne
bunny - cambridge

The rag doll that h and l have.

Yes, LaL I'm extremely aware that risks increase greatly at 35 yrs old and I'll be 35 in june so although I'm not old I feel like time isn't on my side....
Anyway, all this chat and I might be already, feels like an eternity to wait to find out, there won't be any incognito " I'm PG again" threads from me because you'll know staright away who's started it. You can all suffer the wait with me.

Meet up would be FAB, Lizz would have to escort me to london though coz I'm a great big scaredy cat!

Lth I havent upset you have I ? I just mean if you are going to do it do it now and dont wait .

Blimey Lal, I've got thicker skin then that....its takes a whole lot more then saying I'm a old hag to offend me

You haven't, not one bit....I had to read you post about 4 times to work out which bit might have offended me