June 2020 Babies-Newborn, snuggles, recovery, milk and night feeds! 2nd thread

[Busylizzie85]

New thread!

Not cover them next time at 12 week jabs

Just to throw it out there - we have two but just have had a big age gap so instead of a toddler and a baby, I have a helpful primary school aged older DD who is pretty independent for her age. She is besotted with the baby and helps out with things. There is a huge gap between me and one of my siblings and yet we are like best friends. I initially didn't want two but doing it this way has been best of both worlds for me. Less career impact for me as have had a decent time to progress between two children although could be easier in some careers to get it all over at once.

Also throwing out there - we have a 3 year age gap and now dd is back at nursery it’s great! I know I’ve moaned about juggling the two of them and her behaviour but I think that’s mostly down to covid restrictions sending her stir crazy. If baby had been born in normal times when we could have kept all DD’s usual activities going it would have been plain sailing! Also may be down to temperament but I’m finding second baby massively easier and more enjoyable. Equally dd would have been happy as an only child I’m sure.

@mrssunshinexxx have you thought about co sleeping? It’s the only way I get enough sleep (we EBF too but I just latch him on then drift back off to sleep. Consequently get loads of sleep!)

RE co-sleeping, Zach has been sleeping in his snuzpod next to our bed overnight since 6 days old and during the day I try to settle him there too or downstairs crib but since his reflux got worse, its harder for him to settle during the day and I feel sorry having to "battle" him to nap in his crib so I let him sleep with me in big bed then walk away when hes asleep. Slightly worried that he's forming a bad habit here. He's 3 month old today after all.

@Magpiefeather no I wouldn't co sleep personally xx

@Pegase May go down that route and have second when she starts school as I would want a second to have this one on one time that she had

@Magpiefeather I have to agree! I have a dd who is 3. Been no where near as bad as I imagined . It’s beautiful watching them together sometimes .We’ve had a few tantrums along the way but that’s to be expected in especially in today’s climate. She went back to nursery today and it was lovely at home with just me and babe. I’ll probably feel different when I go back to work babe with 8 plates to keep spinning 🤣.

@mrssunshinexxx we did start trying when dd was 1. No more for us sadly . If it wasn’t such a rocky road to get this baby I’d of gone for a third ! Dp is a fair bit older than me & has 2 older dc aswell so think he deserves a rest now lol

@mrssunshinexxx I always wanted two as I grew up as a lonely only child (I did have a half brother who was 18 years older than me but he never lived with us as I was growing up so I felt like an only child with a sort of uncle?), but my husband who has a brother has always only wanted one. Now having been through pregnancy and birth and now the newborn stage I am leaning towards just having one... I am loving looking after her no matter how hard it is at times but I just don’t know if I could do it again. It’s already putting a strain on our relationship at times. I just picture us as this family of 3, I can’t see us with another child. But I don’t want to rule it out completely, who knows how I’ll feel in a year or two? My husband wants to get a vasectomy though. @APD1981 Was the vasectomy reversal an easy process? I’d hate for him to get it done and then later change our minds and have no options... but I really don’t want to go on birth control myself again. It’s his turn 😄

Someone asked about clothes... We mostly have Next clothing and Jia is also getting too big for the 0-3 so I bought some 3-6 and they looked huge but actually fit her well, with a little room to grow. I think they might have shrunk in the tumble dryer. She’s not very fat but she’s a long baby. The rompers seem to fit a lot bigger than the bodysuits.

@UktoSk the reversal process is more invasive than having it done in the first place as it involves at general anaesthetic and an overnight hospital stay. It is also not guaranteed to work. The rates of success decrease the longer ago the original procedure was done but individual surgeons have their own success rates based on their own methods. According to the NHS my DH's chance of success was 30% but the surgeon we found had an 80% success rate for reversals done 15-20 years after a vasectomy. We were very lucky. It also costs a few thousand pounds. Not sure what the healthcare system is like in SK but here it was a private hospital job.

Just wondering if this is normal, my 3 week old baby sounds like a goat when he sleeps the noises this baby makes though, 😂 has anyone else experienced anything similar to this with their own baby?

@UKtoSK hopefully we will just know for sure at some point in the future
I agree about contraception I'm back on birth control and getting headaches already I'm really unsure if we will go again or not at the moment sorry to always mention it and it's not a pity party but if my mum was still alive I would sway more to another as I know she would come and take the older one sometimes my mil hasn't even held a baby since her youngest was born 21 years ago and relations between us are fractious to say the least.
I naively thought once you had your first you would just instantly know if you were 'done' or not
My husband has said he would have a vasectomy for sure in the future when we know we are definitely finished having children x

@mrssunshinexxx I also had bad headaches while on the pill. Didn’t even realise it until I went off it and suddenly didn’t have headaches anymore. It also messed up my cycles and took us almost a year and a half to get pregnant as I was so irregular and I don’t want those hormones messing me up again.
I also don’t want my MIL helping out... our relationship is fine but not close, but generational and cultural differences are too big when it comes to child care for me to trust her. My mum is on the other side of the world so can’t help out either.

@APD1981 thank you for the info, I will make sure my husband does some more research before committing to it.

@Elsie92 my baby would make lots of weird grunting noises when she slept in the first few weeks but seems to have mostly grown out of it (apart from when she’s trying to fart) but you should hear my friend’s baby girl, sounds like a pterodactyl or a demon or something.

we are just using condoms until we start trying again. I wouldn't want to be in the pill again either for the same reasons. My DH would consider having the snip I think, especially as the procedure for women in more invasive and requires overnight stay I think.
By the time the second comes along I will be hitting 40 so really don't plan on having anymore once I hit 40. 2 is all we ever wanted. I'm excited to give DD a sibling but definitely waiting until she's 2 to get going

Ohhh what a night we just had after amelia had her injections yesterday at 4pm.
Didnt settle till 12:30, she refused her 11pm bottle, woke at 2.30 till 5 then projectile vomited the bottle i gave her and went to sleep. Shes currently still sleeping, the crying was awfull she sounded in pain but juat wanted comforted im not dreading the next lot in 4wks.
Anyone else have a bad time after the 1st lot?

@Zoey92 Benji was similar after his first ones, he got a borderline fever 37.5 and felt soo hot and sweaty. He was screaming and unhappy throughout the night and only fell asleep for short times after calpol! He took a couple of days to get back to his normal self too. I think it does affect babies differently as some don't seem bothered. I have been told the second lot aren't generally as bad as they don't have the meningitis jab which is the one that causes the pain and fever I think.

Have you guys all now had sex post- birth?
We still haven’t and I honestly don’t know when we will! Mostly because I’m so knackered by the end of the day when Grace is finally asleep for the night I just want to get as much sleep as possible!
Is that normal given Grace is 11 weeks tomorrow?

We haven't @Gigitree for some of the same reasons I am far to tired and if I am honest it still does not feel right down there and I'm scared of it hurting if I am honest 😳

@babybird20 aww its just awfull, she's still sleeping atm, I'm pleased though as she'll be shattered. Hoping she takes a full bottle when she wakes.

@Gigitree only a couple time in last couple weeks, i was terrified for him to come anywhere near me but to be honest i had no interest in it even now i dont

@Zoey92 yep! High temp really sleepy and horrid nappies and yummy ache also dreading the next 2 lots but I'm taking hubby with me next time for moral support

@Gigitree we did when I was 2 week PP but I had a section I wouldn't of it I had a natural birth ! X

@Gigitree nope! DH is keen but I have zero interest in sex atm and always choose sleep!!!!

Thank you for the tips for clothing. Baby clothing sizes are so hit and miss!

DH and I will only have 1 child. Luckily my DD has 4 cousins close in age (one being 2 weeks older), so she'll have lots of play buddies. Never say never though! This was a decision we made prior to even conceiving and I'm sure some of the hormones have been making think I want more! Saving the baby and maternity clothes...just Incase :-)

@Elsie92 I believe this is normal! My LO would grunt and all sorts. As longer as she wasn't crying or seem in distress I would leave her be.

@Zoey92 sorry to hear that you had a bad night after the jabs. Hopefully it passes quickly!

Glad it’s not just me then @Busylizzie85 @Magpiefeather - literally it’s the last thing I want to be doing but DH is mega keen! 🙄

@mrssunshinexxx wow even still, how did you find the time!? 😂

@Zoey92 yeah I’m terrified too since I had a third degree tear! I was too terrified to even use tampons when I had my first period since baby last week 🙈😩

@Elsie92 ours is getting on for 9 weeks and only just started to not make as much noise when sleeping - hes so noisy! Hope he completely grows out of it soon as it's hard sleeping next to him and me and DH have to take it in turns

@zoey92 we are coming up to 48 hrs after the jabs, he isnt eating much at all and seems more fussy and unhappy, hope this passes soon

@Gigitree I had a natural birth but with forceps and episiotomy followed by stitches. Took me a couple of weeks to recover and then of course up the wall with the baby and so tired. It's literally the last thing I want to do. But men just dont seem to get it, dont think they have to be "in the mood" they're always in the mood!