Tips for getting through baby blues

[Hopeitwontbebig]

Help!

thank you donna so much. even though i've been through this before too (with ds1 20 months) i didn't really come all the way through the other side before getting pg again and i stopped my anti-d's cold turkey as i was paranoid of the effects they might have on dd. even though i could see at the time that i was being a witch to live with i couldn't control it and cried constantly with guilt. really appreciate being reminded by someone who's been through it that there is a glorious shining light at the end of the tunnel. you've made me smile for the first time today

xx

Hi Loopyloolisa
glad to help anyone smile..
and it WILL get better,I promise
It really is difficult,those first few months,even years,but it does get easier....then you get a different set of problems....teenage angst,dirty bedrooms,back chat......! at least they're sleeping at least 12 hours by then and more!
I actually got a lie in at the weekend...9.30! heaven
There are,of course different levels of depression,so keep an eye on your feelings.
Please never stop anti depressants so abruptly again.Always wean yourself off them slowly.
I was taking 3 capsules {cant quite remember the dosage now} of Dothiepin a day.When I reduced them from 3 to 2 ,I was fine,but when I tried to get to taking just 1 a day,I felt weird.....
I was on them for over a year.
There are some you can take whilst pregnant.My sister in law was on them ,Im sure all the way through her pregnancy...
Just keep looking forward,and try to have a little 'me' time,even if it is having a nice hot soak for an hour,or reading a magasine.
I remember when my 2nd daughter first started sleeping through the night...{age 7 months} I would jump in my own bed at 7.30 p.m.....by 8.30 I'd be asleep.
I need at least 8 hours,or I am a cow.
It's not all roses even when they do sleep,you will always have moments when you feel depression creeping back.Just keep an eye on the early signs,and dont be ashamed to admit you can't cope.Noone's going to take your baby off you.
I wish I'd had a PC then with these chat forums,I,m sure I would have felt much better,and not paranoid or feeling like I was losing it.
anytime you feel down and need a 'shoulder' to cry on....just post a message on here...
I,m always on the PC,when the kids are at school.....sod the housework ...haha
bye for now
miserymum

Hi Loopy, how are you feeling? Hope you're ok.
Did you manage to get any good advice on your other thread? I'll text dal my new mobile number tomorrow.

I'm slightly disappointed because I've been having some wobbly moments today and yesterday. Felt like the depression was hitting and taking over again. Been having lots of 'talks with myself', been a bit of a struggle. Had a hellish weekend mainly at the hands of my FIL who was frankly horrid to me. Couldn't believe how he was behaving, I don't think I'll ever forgive him, I SO SO didn't need him going into a strop over his poxy dog.

Miserymum, thank you for your post. Your advice is very helpful.

I've been put back on the anti-biotics because my doctor is concerned my cs wound is still infected. My Mil said she's heard that anti-biotics can cause/make depression worse. I must admit that since starting them again that's when I've felt miserable again. Anyone heard anything similar?

Hi Hopeitwontbebig
I dont know wether anti biotics make depression worse,but if you are taking anti depressants as well,maybe they cancel them out like they can with the Pill?
I had an infection in my cs scar,which I,m sure was caused by me over doing things..
try to rest
I hope you're getting help round the house.
A cs is more traumatic than people think.
My last baby was by cs.I was breastfeeding her and looking after a 3 year old and 6 year old too.
I tried to be 'the perfect Mum & housewife' and keep house spotless at the same time..
big mistake....all I did was neglect myself and ended up with PND again.
5 years on.....I look back.....and oh...how differently I would have done things!
Sleep depravation is just torture.You must get naps during the day.
I had days when I felt 'normal',and would think,"yes,I,m over this depression lark"
then,I would wake up the next day feeling more lousy than ever.
It takes time....but once baby is in a routine and you begin to get more and more sleep,it does lift.
good luck

Hi hopey, having a really tough time with lo so finding it hard to keep going. can't wait til the weekend so dp can let me catch up on sleep, as i'm sure the tiredness is magnifying the pnd.

then i start to feel guilty about feeling sorry for myself as there are people going through much worse than i am.

i've kept quiet about this until now as i needed time to digest it a bit, but i went to see my surgeon last week and he said basically i'm too damaged to risk having any more dc so i'm absolutely gutted about that too. i should be making the most of katie's baby days being the last time i'll ever have them and instead i'm too sad.

hope you're feeling better and i'm so sorry for mot being very positive atm xx

Hopey - I always get really depressed when I am on antibiotics - might be affecting you - and sounds like your silly old FIL has upset you too so no wonder you are feeling low - sending you hugs xx

LLL - so sorry you had such awful news from the surgeon - of course you must be feeling really sad! Hope you manage to get some rest at the weekend and feel a bit better - take care xx

thank you amyclaramum, it seems according to those i've told in rl that i'm not allowed to feel sad. i should be happy with the kids i've got and shouldn't want any more anyway. i feel like my dream of lots of little feet running around me has been snatched away and it's almost like i'm going through a grieveing process for the children i'll never meet.

hopey, i think the antibiotics must make a difference to depression, as they do affect the artificial hormonal protection of the pill so they're bound to affect our natural hormone levels. after all, our hormones are to blame for this misery. i contracted an infection last time and went through hell. this time i escaped lightly but i did start to reopen and thought that it was happening again (until the swabs came back clear - agonising 10-day wait!). the worry of your increased physical recovery time must have an impact on how you are feeling too.

xx

Oh LLL I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis, it's completely understandable you feeling like you're mourning the children you won't have. It's so easy for people in RL to say be thankful for what you have, you are perfectly within your rights to feel sad about this. I get it from some well meaning RL friends about DH, they say things like - it could have been worse, you could have lost him. I KNOW how lucky he is to still be here, but we're still living with the reality of his injuries. Give yourself time.

It's interesting about the anti-biotics, maybe there is a link.

Hiya, went to see an amazing hv today. she weighed katie and i'm so proud that she's put on 10oz this week! obviously the gaviscon is helping loads but if she wants a top-up before 4 hours has passed, i just have to give her plain milk and she tends to be quite sick after. the hv told me not to wind her, just hold her upright and quite firmly against my shoulder until the wind comes up as patting her back will make the reflux worse. she also told me to prop up the cot like i do if ds1 has a cough and this should help her sleep better. the biggest bonus was that the hv offered to do home visits to weigh dd as i said it was a struggle to get to the clinic (i'm post cs and pushing a double buggy uphill with a heavy toddler in cannot be good for my stomach). i feel so much more positive today xx

That's great news Loopy, so happy for you. Glad you're feeling more positive, x x

Hi Hopey - was offline for a few days - at my mums, have just replied to your text, thanks for sending me your new no. Loopy - shall i mail hopeys number through to you? Sorry to hear about your FIL. Family hey?

Loopy - so sorry to hear about the news. I think you have every right to feel sad, regardless of how many dc's you have; it must have been hard to hear that news. But it is great news about the weight gain - that must have been a real boost!

Hugs to all on here.

Loopy, how are you doing? Haven't heard from you for a while, hope you're ok.

I'm up and down but I think heading in the right direction. My confidence is growing as each day passes and I'm starting to feel in control again. I think it was the feeling lost and out of sync was the worst feeling. Still feel edgy and anxious, hopefully this will get better as the weeks pass. I'm still on my medication. I've got my 6 week check this afternoon, although Niamh is 7 weeks. Will discuss meds with doctor. I'm still having trouble getting back to sleep in the night if I wake.

Just wanted to send some hugs out to Hopey and LLL - miss you and hope you manage to read the threads every now and then.

Have been thinking of you loads lately as DH is on new ad's and he's been really rough with them this week. We went to the doctors and I suggested his dose should be halved and the doctor agreed so hopefully he should start to improve soon.

Love and hugs

PLP xxx