Tips for getting through baby blues

[Hopeitwontbebig]

Help!

Rest when you can.
Make sure you eat and drink well.
Don't try and do too much.
Good luck.

How long on average do they last and can we have a comparison of symptoms please??

I've been through this twice before, there is an 8 year gap since my last baby and I guess I'd forgotten how bad it feels.

Summary of my feelings:

Regretful
Panic
Anxious
Trapped
Overwhelmed
Flat (completely)
resentment (towards baby)
guilt
at times, feel nothing for baby
dread (at thought of feeding baby, settling baby, baby waking etc)

Yet when I'm carrying out any tasks I feel fairly confident/in control.

Anyone having/had similar?

How long have you been feeling like this?

How old is the baby?

She is 11 days old

Early, early days.

Thanks NAB, I know what you mean, I guess these 11 days have felt a bit like 11 months. Can't wait to start feeling normal, consistently!! Feel good at the minute, it just throws me completely when I hit rock bottom. What a blooming rollercoaster motherhood is!

Look after yourself and keep reminding yourself it gets better it gets better it gets better.

Because it does, as you know - the first bit is the hardest.

Keep an eye on how you're feeling though, in case the 'blues' don't go away. I had a bit of baby blues, as most people do, but I didn't have all the symptoms you are having.

And talk to your midwife if you're still seeing her and/or your Health Visitor, I'm sure they will have loads of suggestions.

Thanks for your message flowery.

I think my problem is compounded by the fact that I find major change in my life at any time uber stressful and I hate feeling outside my comfort zone. With most things in life, you can change and go back to the way things were before, but with a baby that's a different matter. On an irrational level I just want someone to come and take the baby away so that we can go back to the way life was before. . Just had a good cry on DH's shoulder and he reminded me that I said/felt exactly the same things after having our other 2 children, and the docs thought I had PND, but it did clear up quite quickly. Just incredibly back whilst I'm going through it. I've been prescribed some tablets by my doc to help me through it, but like most of these drugs they take 2 weeks or so to kick in. I just wish there was some miracle cure to this and that I could just snap out of the hazy bubble of depression I am in. What makes is worse this time round is that my DH has a paralysed arm so is unable to do all the tasks he did with our other two children, so I haven't got that back up of being able to say, can you just take over, I'm not coping. This makes me feel panicky .

I would never discribe myself as a control freak but I definitely feel happier if I know what I am meant to be doing, and when. Having a baby is the last thing you need to keep things in order!! Unfortunately they haven't read the book. I used to feel if we were all alive at the end of the day, it was a good day. Just concentrate on feeding and dressing you and the baby and anything else is a bonus. Where do you live?

If it is just the usual baby blues and not PND then I found a quick sugar rush perked me right up in the early days. I had Grren and blacks organic dark chocolate with mint filling. 2 squares of that did wonders I have been told the chemicals in dark choc also have uplifting effect on your mood so combined with the sugar content it does give you a boost!

Hope you are feeling better today. I would burst into tears at anything until DD was about 8 weeks. Not PND just hormones.

Hi Hopey - have you tried getting out with the LO for a little walk once or twice a day? Am not sure if that would help - but getting out into the fresh air makes me feel heaps better and LO loves being in the pram; reading the Times sat in a cafe makes me feel vaguely normal again.

Please hang in there - this will pass and i think you are doing really really well.

Hugs

Hello
I had every single one of those symptoms, and found that acupuncture was very helpful. I had two sessions with a focus on the relief of anxiety (as I found the dread of dealing with the baby and the panic the hardest to bear). It worked quite quickly for me, I felt better straight away, although not normal for a while.

Hope you feel better soon xxx

NAB, I live near Silverstone.

Dal, thanks for your ongoing support x x I made the mistake of staying in bed all morning between feeding DD and trying to settle her. DH managed to take her downstairs and keep her entertained for a while. I felt so exhausted but just couldn't sleep. I got up and got dressed just before 1, but felt dreadful and really really down. We all went into Banbury and had a lovely walk with the boys and they had a good play in the park then we walked to the shops and got a couple of bits. Came home and flat feeling returned. I am hoping that I'm not creating patterns of association with feeling down eg, the mornings I've felt anxious, when I'm out I feel good, but on returning home I feel dreadful. How do I go about breaking this thought cycle. It's almost like I've created a self fulfilling prophecy in my head.

Or am I over analysing?

I don't think you are probably setting up associations, you are describing what you feel like and when you feel it. Remember it will pass (I hope it is not annoying to hear that, I found it bloody irritating to hear but I can't seem to stop saying it to other people...) I used to feel worse in the mornings too.

Just wanted to offer my support, your post so exactly described how I felt.

Would a glass of wine help?

Having a lovely glass right now.

You're absolutely right, it will pass, I'm just so so so so desperate for it to pass now

are you getting much sleep?

Not too bad, DD slept from 11 until 2, then 2:30 - 5, then until 8:30, but I woke up at 6:45 feeling anxious.

I found sunshine really helped me a lot, with both of mine. I am a bit of a control freak and found the first 12 weeks hard

It is hell, I feel so envious of those who enjoyed their time with a newborn. For me it was hideous.....

I know exactly what you mean constance, I do envy people who enjoy the newborn stage.

hopey - you arent over analysing at all. am just trying to think of things that could ease this period for you. if there are certain times where you know you feel this more, is there something different that you can do at that particular time? sorry if i am not being helpful - but am just trying to help you find something to help feel a little more in control. maybe calling someone first thing and having a 10/ 20 min chat?

Or writing things down? Keeping a diary and letting stuff out always helps me - It can be my way of working through things. Plus you can be totally and brutally honest with your diary - it will never judge you.

The really positive thing through all of this is that your feelings are not 24/7 and that is brilliant.

dal, you always help me!

Woke up again this morning feeling anxious, so took a Diazepam which seemed to help. Had a shower and tidied the house a bit so that's all good. Just desperately trying to get my head round things.

Thanks again. x x

i can totally understand. i know you want this to just go away - have faith that it will. you will come through this and you will be fine. hope the shower helped a little.

Had a mostly good day. Started to go 'downhill' a couple of hours ago . I was really hoping/praying earlier that it had gone..

Think I might give GP a ring tomorrow. HV is coming round again tomorrow pm. Been looking online and apparently progesterone injections sometimes help. My GP is lovely.

Feeling really tearful just now. DH has gone out for a run. Can't blame him, he needs to escape for a bit I'm sure. He's so patient with me, always encourages me, but it can't be much fun for him living with me the way I am at the moment.

He offered to look after Niamh whilst I had a bath or something but I said it was fine. I think I would have just laid there worrying about how he was coping with her and I'd feel terribly guilty.

I'm just SO SO SO SO upset right now that he was involved in that awful accident. Life is just so unfair.

Hi Hopey, hope you don't mind me coming in from the other threads. Life is unfair in some ways, and your DH's accident is a horrible, traumatic thing for you all to have to go through when a newborn is on the scene. You know you got through the baby blues OK with the other DC, and you know you will get through it again, that's fantastic. Also you're getting the help and support you need - even better. Ringing the HV and GP are excellent ideas.
I'm obsessed with not getting PND - in fact it's probably a cause of anxiety in itself! But a friend said the other day, 'You probably won't get it because this time you know exactly why you're feeling stressed/low/anxious.' It helped because it's true - knowing the cause alleviates the worry, even if only slightly.