TTC First Baby Catch-up With Our Babies Continued!!

[ELW85]

Hi all

As I’m rubbish and keep double posting I thought I’d start a new thread as we’re nearly at 1k.
I don’t have all of the OG’s so apologies for anyone I miss or anyone I miss in general (blaming lack of coffee this morning!!)

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl @Fivebyfive2 @MrsEG @purplefig @LarryDavid @Lemonysherbet @Stormtrooperjulian @MrsH497 @LokiCat @Cupcakesandglitter

@MrsEG so I tried the one arm out last night and she slept well for the first hour (even though she kept fidgeting and rubbing her eyes) but then she woke up I guess when the sleep cycle ended and no matter how many times I put her back to sleep she kept waking up. I feed to sleep (kicking myself now for it!) so she doesn't know how to self soothe unfortunately. I gave up at 10:30 and put her back in her normal swaddle. She promptly fell asleep as I was 'velcroing' her in then slept till 2:30 then didn't wake up till 6. Her startle reflex is still so strong so I might continue the swaddle for another week and try arms out again after. I think you're right that's I'll most likely have to stop swaddling soon; she gets frustrated by it when she isn't in a deep sleep. Not looking forward to those nights 😫 might attempt nap times first!
I've kept a routine since she was young. I think the main one that gets her in the sleep mode is a massage before getting into her swaddle, which starts winding her down. She does get cranky around 6:30/7ish so I might try to see if I can try bedtime around then.
That's amazing the boys sleep so well. Sleep is definitely an obsession for me as well but a part of me doesn't want to let go of what's working right now (even if there are some wake ups at night) 🙈 I know I do need to break the associations soon, though. Thank you for the tips! ❤️
I hope the boys are doing better with the teething pain? Just reading the other chat, do you recommend Neurofen rather than calpol for it? I think Alayna is starting - she's drooling a lot and goes to town chewing on her hand!

@Fivebyfive2 I think her naps might be the main reason for the late sleep as well. She generally has 1 long nap in the morning and then 3 half hour ones, so maybe if I drop the last nap she might sleep earlier.
I think most of us are figuring things out with trial and error 😂
Ah I hope the regression doesn't mess things up! I'm not looking forward to the 4 month one 🙈

Alayna had her 16 week immunisations this morning. So glad I don't have to worry about them till she's 1 now - I don't think my emotions can handle it anymore! Just gonna have a day of cuddles now 😊
I hope you're all doing well. The suns back out after a miserable rainy day yesterday!

@lokicat, how did the ims go? I hope you have a good night xx

So I can't properly see, but I can definitely feel something very sharp poking through Joe's bottom gum at the very front... I can also clearly see his top two front teeth swelling underneath the gum 😮

How is everyone this evening? Friday tomorrow, yay! Anyone got weekend plans?? Xx

@Fivebyfive2 That’s fab! Little water guzzler!! Ahh those teeth will be here soon!

@LokiCat Ugh imms!! I hated them. They’d get me to sit both boys down and do them both at once so I didn’t have to settle one only to then have to settle the other later - better to ‘rip off the plaster’ and have them both scream at once!!! Hope she has a good night!
Yeah - it’s so easy to become obsessed with sleep, mainly because WE need it so so badly and we don’t get it if they don’t! Honestly, whatever you choose to do, I really hope you find something that works for you all soon! I can honestly say we’ve hit a good point at 6 months; the boys were good sleepers but we had some massive blips with the 4-month regression and then learning to roll. But they’ve found their groove these days! It’s all just them rapidly developing and they all get there :)

So we had a home visit from the HV today! Surprising but went so, so well. She was delighted with the boys and how they’re doing so it’s given me a bit of a much-needed boost. Without getting in to it too much, I sort of realised my PND really hasn’t gone away and am re-seeking some proper support for it. But it was just so wonderful to hear the words ‘these boys are doing brilliantly’ out loud!

We’re off to the SeaLife centre tomorrow for a bit of an underwater sensory experience for the boys, really looking forward to it! Have fab weekends ladies x

@MrsEG, that's fab that the hv was so positive (although how could she not be, your boys are doing wonderfully and you are awesome!) and I'm really glad it's given you a needed boost xx Oooo let us know how the sea life centre goes, I'm thinking of taking Joe to the one in Birmingham 😀

@purplefig, I thought of you yesterday when I was reading about earl wake ups. Not sure if this will help /apply to you, but apparently if the baby has a long nap in the morning, it can encourage early wakes as they get used to 'catching up' with a long nap first thing. The thought is, if you only let them have say 30 mins, they start thinking 'sod this' and can be more easily pursuaded to re settling for a little bit in the morning. I think I'm going to try it with Joe over the weekend and see if it starts to make a difference.

Ladies I'm sorry but I'm going to have a massive rant!! Dh is doing my head in, it's like everything is too much trouble at the moment?! So last night I did tea while dh wiped Joe up from his toast. We both played a bit with him, I took him in the garden and then dh did his nappy. I took him upstairs. It took me 40 mins to settle him because he was upset after peeing everywhere during nappy change and needing a full wipe over etc, which I helped with. Came downstairs and the washing up hasn't been done. So we watched a bit of telly and go to bed. I do the night feeds (not an issue as I bf but just adding it in) then Joe is wide awake at 5.15... I get up with him and between then and 7am I have to do his nappy twice (one normal change and then a poo disaster!) do his breakfast and wipe up, make dh sandwiches for work, bit of play in between. Take Joe up for his nap and have to actually wake dh up, God knows how he's slept through all of that as our house is all open plan and you hear Everything?! I settle Joe down, go downstairs and he's on his phone... Do my cereal, try to chat and he's giving one word answers because he's on his sodding phone. So then I start washing up, thinking he will say he'll do it (he usually does if it gets to this point) and he just comes in and is like 'aaaahhh I need to shower and have breakfast, I'm running late'?!! Well yes mate, that's what happens when you spend the first 30 mins of your day phone scrolling?!! Gaaaaaagh!!!

He is usually pretty good and we split things like house stuff and the early mornings, but honestly the last week or so has been some variation of the above, it's like he just can't be bothered?! I came down the other day and Joe was being really fussy on his mat and dh is just sat on the sofa on his phone?! I said look I know sometimes now Joe likes to crack on by himself, but he clearly isn't happy so why not just sit with him a bit?! Duuuuhhh!!!

Omg sorry, that was soooo long!! Xx

@Fivebyfive2 Hun, we have the same issue here, big time. I had to enforce phone ‘rules’ in the house - when we’re both here together they go in a drawer. I actually make sure DHs is out of the room as he’ll get a text, be like ‘oh I need to check that in case it’s work’ and he’s still on it 30 mins later. He was all ‘You’re treating me like a child!’ at first but it was doing my head in - same kinda things, me being like ‘look Conor just rolled over!’ and he’d barely look up. And it’s all shite too! He’s just on Twitter. Nothing useful. So yeah, we have a ban now. Especially once they’ve gone to bed - no phone zone until 9pm so we can catch up. It’s infuriating isn’t it!
Also @purplefig yep I have heard very similar re: sleep the boys morning nap is only about 45 mins and I’ll go and wake them if I have to!

Urgh, I've got really behind. Daisy has started fighting her second nap really badly. Sometimes I'm able to get her down after a 45-75minute battle (by which time it's too late to be napping and it throws her routine completely out) and sometimes she's refusing it completely and is going 7+ hours with no sleep. Which she copes with surprisingly well but I can't think it's any good for her to be awake for so long. Everything I've read says that a 9/10 month old is a LONG way from being ready to drop to one nap but try telling her that! I'm trying to give her a shorter morning nap as we've got into the habit of a long morning nap and I've also read that's not good but I'm anxious to drop her nap too much when I can't then get her down later on. Don't want her awake 12 hours on 30/45 minutes sleep. Hopefully it's just another one of those annoying phases. She's just such an active baby and on the go all the time I think she struggles with down time and switching off. She just paces around her cot wanting to play! I tried the sensory play YouTube video this morning whilst I tried to hang up the washing but she was any interested at all, certainly not in sitting still to watch it. Happy to have a little dance to it whilst trying to climb up the dresser and pull over the lamp but that didn't help me do any jobs really 😬 Eek, I've just written all that and run out of time to reply to anyone- time to get her up. I will try to have a proper read during her afternoon nap 🤔 If you don't hear from me I'm trying to pin a baby into her cot and force a nap- send chocolate and vodka 🥴

Hi guys

Just calling in to say I’m having a bit of time away. Finn’s shudders are getting more frequent and I’m in tears as I’m writing this as he’s started doing other spasm things too.
Back at the hospital yesterday and they’re still deliberating on referring him for a scan.
If it’s what I’m terrified of, it’s really rare but it’s very life limiting and the sooner they diagnose it the better but nobody is listening to me.
I’m basically crying every day because I don’t want to lose our boy or fur him to have this awful condition (West Syndrome).
I'm too upset to be of any use in the chat on here so I need to go away for a bit.
I hope you’re all ok and the babies do really well.
Speak to you all when things are clearer x

Oh @ELW85 I'm so sorry you're having such an awful time. If this condition you're worried about is so rare it's really, really unlikely that Finn has it and I'm sure there are a multitude of far less serious explanations for what you're seeing. That doesn't of course make it any less worrying when you can sense something isn't right. Wishing you and your lovely boy all the best and hope you get some answers soon. If you can, do pop back on and keep us updated on how you both are without any pressure of making conversation or keeping up with the thread. We will all be thinking of you

@ELW85 I have got everything crossed for you that everything is ok. I am so so so sorry you're going through this. You're an incredible mum and Finn is so fortunate to have you in his corner. Biggest of hugs. I'll miss you but totally understand the need to step away. Xxxx

@ELW85 biggest of hugs to you lovely. I'm so sorry it's been such a tough time for you all. I have everything crossed that all is okay with Finn and you get some answers soon. Is it worth going private if they aren't listening to you (I know its not always possible and can be so expensive)? Finn has a brilliant mum fighting for him. Will be thinking of you 💕

@ELW85 I am so, so sad to read this - my heart is in my throat thinking of you both. I have every hair on my head crossed for you that it’s nothing serious - fight at the hospital for the scans and discussions you want to have. Please do keep us posted as and when you feel able. Xx

@ELW85, I'm so sorry, I feel awful for my petty rant now! Keep badgering them at the hospital and don't be afraid to get 2nd (or 3rd or 4th!)opinions if you're not satisfied. Finn is so lucky to have you as his mum, fighting for him to get the best. As the others have said, I'll miss you but pop back on if you need to vent, ask questions or want to update us. No pressure to keep up with everything, just whatever works for you. I'm thinking of you all xxx

You’ve all had me in tears reading your lovely words.
He’s just everything to us and he can’t speak for himself so I need to fight for him.

Had a call from the doctor at the local hospital with an interest in neurology; asked us to go straight in.
She 💯 ruled out West Syndrome but said she couldn’t be certain what these other jerks are.
She said we wouldn’t lose anything in monitoring it for the next few days and taking more videos etc.
She reckons that if they stay as they are, so few and far between we can write it off as nothing.
She said if it was an epileptic condition, it would make itself known and there’d be a consistency to them. They’d happen lots of times a day and the frequency would increase.
She’s also not bothered about the shudders and reckons that loads of babies do it and just grow out of it.
At the moment she doesn’t think there’s a clinical case for the EEG as she doesn’t see it getting worse.
We’ve got another appointment with her on Wednesday as she doesn’t want to dismiss me etc.

She also said I had post natal depression if I was so upset about him, so I said that I didn’t think that was right as it’s not as if he’s not having these weird movements!! I’m responding to how he is. I know I’ve been anxious before but I feel like this is different. He’s physically jumping in front of me for no reason. If I can’t get worried about that, what am I allowed to be worried about???

I’ll keep you updated but I think taking a step back is just what I’ll have to do for the moment as I can’t get happy or feel normal until this is bottomed out.

Much love to all of you and your beautiful babies xx

@ELW85 that sounds hugely positive...at the very least they've ruled out the worst case scenario. I know you're not out of the woods, but it sounds like your doctor is really on it and it's fab she's seeing you again on Wednesday. And until then you've got a clear mission of keeping a track of movements and getting video. I have no experience about PND so I can't really speak to that, other than to say that it sounds like a really stressful situation so I feel like it would be normal to have an anxious response. Like the others said, if you feel up to updating us without the pressure of keeping up with the thread please do. I know we're just internet friends but I really feel quite close to you all after everything we've gone through together. More big hugs. Xxxx

@purplefig - thank you mate ❤️ Miss you and normality) already xx

@ELW85 Sounds like you’ve seen a really fantastic consultant there, and quickly too! I hope you get some answers for Finn really soon but sounds so positive to have ruled that out straight away. I have PND, I thought I’d had it, but it’s reared it’s ugly head again (I don’t think it ever really went but a story for another day) - I know they pick up on certain phrases such as ‘I’m just not happy/not enjoying this’ so it could be as simple as her hearing that? If that’s all it is, just ignore her but if you are struggling feel free to PM me, I’ve been through the ringer with it so happy to answer any Q’s. Hope you have as restful a weekend as you can x

@ELW85 So sorry you're going through such a stressful time with Finn. It's so easy to have a moan about sleep (or lack thereof), naps, crankiness etc but all anyone wants is for their baby to be healthy. I hope everything turns out ok, truly from the bottom of my heart. It's great that you're being followed up next week though. Looking forward to you rejoining us again.

@ELW85, I'm so relieved to see that you guys have been seen and that the Dr seems on the ball, especially that she's ruled out the worst case scenario. I'm absolutely no expert on pnd etc But what I will say is... I'm not a very anxious person generally, in fact when Joe was born my mil made me think I was being too relaxed as she would pick up on absolutely any tiny thing and ask if something was wrong; this included his arm going 'floppy' when he was in a deep sleep and the fact that he stretched a lot?? However, if I was in your position with the shivers and shudders, I would 100% want them checked out and would do just as you're doing! It is totally understandable so I personally wouldn't see that as a red flag??

So, Joe did 7.30 till 5am with only one quick feed at 1am, a cracking night for us! Unfortunately I was so tired from yesterday that when dh brought him back up at 6.30 for a feed and nap, I wasn't able to wake him early to start the experiment on early wakes, as I fell back to sleep until he woke at 8 😂 Aaaahh welllll! Experiment starts tomorrow maybe??

@Fivebyfive2 That's an amazing night! Experiment another day, don't blame you for sneaking another bit of sleep in. Daisy had her afternoon nap with zero fuss yesterday straight after I'd be moaning she doesn't do that ever. Maybe these babies know they're being moaned about and are bucking up their ideas about sleeping ☺️

@ELW85 I'm saying this gently and with no criticism but I wonder if the doctor was a bit worried about your focus on West Syndrome. Being worried and concerned about your baby is perfectly normal, questioning and trying to get things moving forward is perfectly normal. But convincing yourself that your baby has a life limiting, rare condition and getting yourself very upset about that is maybe a bit less of a typical reaction and might perhaps point to you struggling a bit. And I'd probably be googling like mad just the same if I was worried like you are, but that doesn't mean it's a healthy way to be. You've done everything right in noticing there was an issue and pushing things forward but I just wonder if she was a bit worried about your worst case scenario thinking. It's an extremely difficult and stressful time for you and once again, make sure you are looking after yourself. At horrible times like you're having the lines between 'I'm just down and worried about what's happening' and 'I'm just down and worried' become so blurred. Please go back to the doctors for help if the fog of worry and sadness isn't lifting So glad the news is looking more positive and the doctors are keeping a close eye, can't wait for you to feel ready to come back to the thread x

@ELW85 so glad that the Dr has ruled out the worst case scenario. It sounds quite positive from what she has said, but hope you will know more at Wednesday's appointment. I think anyone would be pretty stressed out and upset in a situation like this. Lots of love to you xx

@Fivebyfive2 that's a brilliant night, go Joe! Definitely get extra sleep when you can, we deserve these 'lie ins'!!

@TrashKitten10 ah glad Daisy's afternoon nap went better yesterday. Hope it's the same today! I've noticed that when I think it's all gone to shit that Alayna seems to sort herself out. They really do like to keep us on our toes!

So last two nights have been quite difficult since Alayna had her imms. Normally she's fine and just sleeps a lot, but this time there's a bump where the injection went in and she's been quite irritable in the evenings. Thursday night she went down quite easily (at 7:45!!) but was up at 12:30-2am inconsolable, which has never happened. Then slept till 5am then till 8:30 (probably catching up on the 2 hours she missed in the night). Last night it took two hours to get her down and she was up every two hours! She hasn't got a high temp thankfully so hoping it was just a 48 hour thing. Will see tonight 🙈

@lokicat, how's Alayna doing today?? I hope you had a better night? Xx

Well ladies, wish me luck... this afternoon we go to the mils for a visit before fil gets back from Spain tomorrow. We need to tell her (and later via face time, him) that we won't be seeing them for 2 weeks! I basically told dh there was no way I was comfortable seeing his dad until he'd been home for 2 weeks (as per guidelines) and that since they don't take any precautions etc, if he HAS caught anything on his travels, his mum will be the first to get it, so I'm not really comfortable seeing her for the 2 weeks either. I'm sure it will go down swimmingly with them 😬

@Fivebyfive2 she's feeling a lot better but the nights are still tough. She's still fighting her swaddle so I put her in a sleeping bag. She slept from 8-1:15, then kept waking herself up crying. It was on and off like that till 5am so I just brought her into bed again 🙈 I know she has to get used to it so just going to have to push through these nights hopefully only for a few days! The upside is that I've been able to get her to sleep a bit earlier than before, so gonna take that win at least!

Ah good luck, I hope they'll be somewhat understanding (but from what you've said before I know it's unlikely..). Is DH being supportive about this at least? Let us know how it goes! Xx

@MrsEG just seen your comment about PND. Really sorry to hear that lovely lady. It goes without saying that I'm here of you ever want to chat. I hope you and the lads are having a fun weekend 💕

@Fivebyfive2 a cracking night from Joe! thanks so much for sharing the morning nap research, backed by the resident sleep wizard MrsEG 😂👌🏼 I'll be so interested to hear how you get on. My problem is she gets up at 5am....we can hold out til about 7am and then she neeeeeds sleep. Do you think the first nap needs to be later though? Sorry to hear about DH, that sounds so hard. Good news that it's unusual for him though, so I wonder if there's something on his mind? If it were me, I'd wait until Joe was in bed and then try and have a bit of a heart to heart. Then rather than berate him, I'd say how I'm feeling (overwhelmed, need more time for myself etc.) Hope it goes as well as poss with MIL 😬

@LokiCat aghrrr poor baby, hopefully she'll be back to normal soon. It sometimes knocks them for six. M struggled HARD with the first ones, we'd never heard her scream as loud as when the calpol wore off. How old is she? We had M in the swaddle until she was rolling as she was sooo difficult to get to sleep without. I found it less hard to drop the swaddle once she could roll as she could get herself into a comfy position herself.

Hope you're all having a good weekend? We've got family staying nearby this week so we've been hanging out which was lovely. Poor M is teething so bad atm, I can see FOUR on the top - front two are out at the front but haven't descended if that makes sense. Nothing on the bottom bizarrely 😂💕

@purplefig, I'd say you're about right timing wise for the 1st nap, definitely wouldn't push it any later. Apparently the first wake window should be the shortest (followed by a short ish nap) and even now Joe only does about 2 or 2.25 hours at first. I might start the experiment tomorrow?!

That's funny you say about M and her teeth, Joe was exactly the same! His top teeth have been quite visible under the gums for a while and now looking like they'll break through at any time, but when he actually cut his first tooth last week, it was a bottom one?! I think the 2nd might be on the way (they say they come in pairs?) as today he has been soooo fussy... Crying, drooling, pulling his ear etc. I hope M is OK xxx