MAY 07 Post natal - This time a year ago it was all just beginning, look at us now...........................

[Mrsjaffabiffa]

Morning........

Hi Honeys I'm home
Have had a quick skim through the thread and seen that Bef has popped in , some talk of breast to bottle, congrats to Jorja on finally giving in to solids, sorry to see that the rash has come back, something to do with name changes, going out for a drink, twinnies having birthdays, going back to work, erm.......

Landed at 4.45pm and have just managed to get ds asleep. The kiddies were fab and having mum their was great. Have a nice tan/burn and the kiddies have a healthy glow despite having sun cream on!

Have ten ton of washing to do tomorrow so i guess that its a good job that they are in nursery tomorrow for some/all the day.

MID - I know exactly how you feel. Am currently sitting in the hall controlled crying again.

Fun.

PJ hows it going?

sry for being such a grump yesterday.
freddie went down at 7. woke at 10.30 for feed then went til 6am!?
dh forgot to set alarm...only woke up at 6 (normally hes gone by then) went into freddie and he was lying there awake.....hmmm bizarre....he must have only just woken im assuming....
anyway. sleep rocks. mummy and dh feel much more human today.
sod the cooking and cleaning and washing. im going to our other place in devon tonight for a week so dh can keep this place ticking over himself next week! (dh is coming with me tonight for the weekend but im staying til next friday with sister and her hubby and 2 yr old....they are teachers...its half term isnt it)
anyway. enough of me and mine. im gonna go read up on what everyone else has been doing!

No one here is a bad mommy, it is the steepest learning curve you will ever find yourself on and then you have a nother baby and it's like starting all over again! Each one is different and only you know what is best for your baby. The housework and all that crap are just something you have to do to get by.

DH does not get tea on the table at 5 > he makes my tea most nights, i frequently am a wreck and and am prone to little tornando like outbursts (just ask dh) If i bake a cake it is usually at the expense of something else, it's all about priorities

So no beating ones self up about anything please, do ya hear me??? >

AM lovely to have you back Wish i could go on holiday, we would need our own airplane!!!!

Pink stick with it, short term pain for long term gain. Course i have B waking twice in the night for food again and have been shushing him since Monday So you dont have to listen to me

Its half term break up today, yay!!

Im off to the hospital with a friend this morning, she has a suspect mole and the doc made her an app straight away Hope it is ok, she is only 32.

Another friend who lives 2 doors down from me has just had her sister die She was only 40 and was having an adult swimming lesson when she just collapsed. Post mortem to follow. She has a 9 year old little boy He has been round out playing with all of mine, he has told them all. They didnt realise it was only last week though and when i told them it was heartbreaking. Too awful to comprehend

Im hoping today goes well, no more sadness. Check back with you all later.

hubblebubbleetc are you anywhere near bordeaux? my cousin is studying there this academic year and im thinking of taking freddie over there. got to take advantage of this time off. will be back at work before you know it (may 16 is absolute latest....and dh keeps reminding me (and some of my clients he saw recently) that i need to get back to work and earn some money!)
i dont want to leave freddie but also im not sure i want to be a house manager either.
a job involving slightly less hours would be better (its 7am til 5.30pm although im going to try reduce that to 8 til 5 if poss....)but its paid well so dh has convinced me that i should do a few more years. ive told him no way im still doing it when freddie goes to school. we will just have to make cuts to our life.

MID - if you're going back to work then you should be enjoying your maternity leave and not fretting about being a good housewife, fgs!

I'm very unlikely to go back to work, so part of me feels a bit like I need to prove my worth or some such nonsense. However, I am atm, hungover and in my pyjamas, so I'm not that serious about it.

lg&t, I'm so sorry about your friends sister, how awful. Poor little lad too. Fingers crossed for your friend today though.

MID, I am not too far from Bordeaux about 2hrs. But to be honest as we live in the sticks thats just up the road for us. There is an Ikea there so we visit for meatballs often. Let me know if you get over there, maybe I could come down and we could hook up for glass of Bordeaux's finest.

TYG, how do you honestly feel about not going back to work? you seemed a bit of a workaholic before and the company will obviously go under with out you there to make their millions.

Did anyone look at my baby led weaning pic's?

Awww. Mind you, don't let the BLW people see that. I think spoons are banned.

LG&T, it's so sad. I had to hear about young children's parents dying.

Work... mmm. I do miss it a bit. I miss the feeling of achievement and the hubbub of the office and if this doesn't sound too full of myself - I was liked there. So I miss having lots of people around who like me. Does that make sense? It was ok to do that job when I just had a 12yo who could get herself home from school and stuff. I couldn't face the drama every day of trying to get out of the office in time to get the childminder or nursery. It's just so stressful.

I just need to organise myself at home and be more focussed. I get a bit, not depressed, but just erm, unenergetic, for wont of a better word when I laze about at home. It's self-perpetuating.

Spoons banned? Really? Show's how much I know about it. Maybe they are supposed to have a straw for their mush instead, Oh no I suppose it's no mush either as at 35 you do tend to have teeth. Oppppps Sorry all BLW people.

What are you talking about TYG, miss having people around that like you, We all love you surely thats better. I can see what you mean about working and childcare etc.... you'd spend all day clock watching. It is easy to get into slob mode when you have no reason to be out. I frequently think I can't be bothered, tbh if we didn't have mum & dad here I'd be far worse I'm sure. I sort of feel that I have to behave myself with them judging here all the time.

I don't know much about it, but I gather that BLW means you give them soft, suitable foods which can be picked up, ie steamed broccoli, slices of peach etc and if they pick it up and gum it, chew it etc, then they're ready for weaning. You'd try this at or around 6 months. I think that's the basics. No spoons, because that can't be baby-led. You miss the mush stage entirely. Some woman called Gill Rapley did a study and reckons babies will eat when they're ready - they don't need spoon feeding. It's said that it makes babies less fussy.

Hang on, since we're talking about it, I should read up a bit. Found a Radio 4 Woman's hour thing about it. Listen Here

Some info here

A seems to prefer licking food off her fingers and licking her bib than using a spoon, so I'm thinking I might take a bit more of a baby-led approach and see what she thinks. Just a trial. Obv I am not going to say I'll "do blw" now as I fear I might get arrested by the blw police for having already tried puree.

Jaffa - love the pic of J!! So funny - lloks very pleased with herself. How's pebbles doing?? Just realsied that i am out tonight, a friend is going travelling for 3mths so she is having a birthday/xmas/new year party all in one.

TYG, I know exactally what you mean about work, thats why it was such a tough decision for me. I gave in in the end and am going back on much reduced hours/salary. Am going to give it a go and if it doesnt work out for me then i can say i tried and go off on my merry way.

97%Ging did the grobags arrive? I have the other one here and will post it today.

LG&T, sorry to hear about your friends sister and fingers crossed for your friend re the mole.

On the 4th load of washing so far today, only down side of going on holiday.

Off shopping now as our friends had a dd2 this morning and need to get a pressie. Poor love had a long labour resulting in emergency CS and bubba had breathing dificulties so got whipped off to scbu to get her sorted. Its a complete deja vu of her dd1's birth. Going to go and visit them in a few weeks as they live in Glasgow.

Hi all

Not dropped off the face of the earth - just the manic life seems to be getting worse!

Really looking forward to half term next week and staying in PJS all day. The only organised thing is one swimming lessons at 6.30pm on weds.

C doing well. 18lb 12 1/2oz yesterday. 3 solid meals a day (lunch being 2 courses). Trying to keep up with loads of purees but he has had a few jars!

My neice who lost a baby earlier this year had a scan this morning and is 11 weeks pregnant. Due 8 May next year. She was keeping it quiet but will now be shouting from the roof tops I think .

Probably got loads more to say but might be round a bit more next week.

Hi all

Life is crazy. We are trying to sell our house and buy another. I'm working (not so d) h is working. The kids are wonderful and I miss being with them terribly. I would give anything to be home again. H keeps telling me I don't do enough in the house (like clean out the refrigerator or change the light bulbs in the garage). Last night we talked about divorce, and I'm going to mull over that thought for a while and see how I feel about it. I don't really love him that much anymore. Wait I love him, but I'm now in love with him, if you can see the difference. Cruz is great. he and Mateo really do light up my heart, and I could have more babies just like them. With all the stress I'm feeling and how sad I've been lately they really do keep me going.

MKG, I'm really sorry to hear you and your husband aren't getting along right. I don't know what to tell you. I remember you guys were having some problems before. Do you feel like it's the same problem resurfacing? Do you know what's at the heart of it?

You sound very calm. How are you feeling?

MKG poor you I dont know what to say am sure nothing I could say would make you feel any better, am thinking of you and hoping you are able to sort out in your head one way or the other a way to make your life better.

LG&T god thats awful, I looked after 2 little boys whose mum died and we found the best thing was to be open and honest with the children and let them decide how much they wanted to take on board. The fact that they are talking to your kids about it is a good thing they are dealing with the loss in the best way they can.

Hi sky tv - hows it going.

MID stop beating yourself up your doing a grand job.

BLW spoons who cares get it down them whatever way you can. ON that note was scoffing a satsuma today and lo and behold A grabbed a bit out my hand and sucked it dry.

Off to the baby show tom time for some bargains want a highchair and am going to load up on free washing powder think I should by shares in Ariel.

OH and also COME ON ENGLAND

Well right now I feel like crap and I don't see the point in being married. I just got home from work and H saw me and said "O.K. go upstairs, I don't want to see you" On the phone earlier he was normal, and now he's an asshole. I'm the type of person who lets go of things and starts fresh where as he holds on to things forever. It's almost like he's the woman in our relationship.

I'm staying calm because I don't have time to get worked up about things. It's not like our life has changed. We haven't slept in the same room for over a year (it's a miracle Cruz was even conceived) We don't eat meals together, we don't spend anytime together. He's rather drink on his time off than do anything with me. I guess my problem is that he still acts the way he did when he was 21. I've changed and he hasn't. He has no goals or dreams for the future. I guess my problem is just figuring out how to let things go and end it. I mean when do I give up on my marriage?

MKG, I'm so sorry things are tough with you are h at the moment. You have to do what feels right when the time feels right for you. It can not be an easy decision and as much as you may feel like you need to make a decision imediately you don't. It's not about giving up on your marriage. A marriage takes 2 to make it work! Do you know what he wants? Is he wiling to make sacrifices to try to improve things? Are you?
Try not to be too sad life has it's way of throwing things at us to see how strong we are, take it by the balls (or him ) and try to deal with it the way you know best. Good Luck sweetie, will be thinking you! Don't forget we are here if need to talk things through.

so pleased for your niece, what lovely news!

TYG, quite interesting that info on BLW, not to sure it's for me. I like the idea of it ie baby eating what they want with you at meal times, but firstly J is not breast fed and it seems to be mainly aimed a bf babies and secondly I've not had a problem with my other 2 becoming fussy eaters. Infact I don't know many 4yr olds that will eat full salads, all types of fish, inc mussels, they are his favorite! and he loves snails in garlic. Haven't tried frogs legs yet? About the only thing he doesn't like is potato, why? I don't know.

I hope everyone is having a lovely Saturday, I'm looking forward to putting the children to bed and settling down with a bootle of wine water and a bowl of ice cream fruit to cheer England on. (Wern't france crap last night?)

Ok when dh left for work this morning at 5 he was like "don't be mad at me. I just really needed to eat and go to sleep because I was tired" I pretty much told him (in my half asleep tone) that the kids go to bed at 7pm there is no reason why 10pm comes around and he hasn't found something to eat for dinner, and isn't asleep yet. And there is no reason for me to be the target if he hasn't gotten himself together. I swear he's the woman in our relationship.

MKG, I'm not going to try and offer advice on your situation as you strike me as a very strong and remarkably together lady and I know that you will make your decision and come through this with knobs on. I can offer my support though. I wish you nothing but happiness.

LG&T, also . When my sil died she left behind an 8yr old ds and it was heartbreaking to see him cope with it. He stood up at the funeral and said he'd miss her because she was just the best mum in the world and he wished she could come back. I found that a child's wisdom in light of such heartbreak was astounding. I asked him at the wake how he was feeling and he said 'a bit happy because all these people are here for my mum and she would have liked that, especially playing all her favourite songs'. He's got an old head and a great spirit.

AM thank you so, so much for the grobags. Arrived today, slight delay cos Royal Mail ripped the parcel to shreds and had to re-package. NumptysRUs. I'm so touched by all you do for me. Can I send you wait for some money until Thurs when I get paid? Money not something I have in abundance this end of the month but come Thurs will be back in gingerbread. Sorry to be cheeky and delay it. Can I send you something/anything else to say thank-you too? What's your poison?

Sorry I've been MIA. Didn't feel like posting much as this is Mumsnet not FatUselessLumpNet.

Ho hum.

ffs.

I meant can you wait until Thurs for me to send some money.

Twonk.

had some bad news today, just feel really confused. grandad died

it's all too sad today I don't feel I can add much of any use, but offer lots of support to MKG and to Julie.

I know people have much bigger problems but I'm struggling with M again. Can anybody help here?

So at all that is going on. Poor you Julie with your Grandad, ditto what the others say about not feeling guilty. You feel how you feel and no apologies need to be made for it. Grief is a lengthy process and we are all here to help you. Lots of love to you xxxx

MKG i dont know what to say, you sound so together in the face of all this. Im sure you will make the right decision for you and your babies however hard it may be. I was faced with the same decision only 18 months ago, it was unbelievably hard making the break all the time thinking of the children and how it would affect them. In the end i just knew them and me would be happier without him, it was as simple as that. You have all my love and support xxxx

My friends appointment went like i thought it would, she has been called back to have it removed next thursday We will see once they have done the biopsy how it goes from there. She seems calm. I just keep thinking she has 3 small children and she is only 32, life is just so incredibly unfair at times. I hope it is just a blip and nothing will happen.

The weather is lovely, we have been out beach walking. It is nice to have the sun out again even if it is bloody freezing. I dragged my roxy furry boots out the cupboard but have not packed my flip flops away just yet

97% whats up with you then? You dont sound like a happy bunny, is M all over her nasty virus yet?

MrsJB the pic of J is sooo cute! She looks so much like H and M it's scary! B does the same with his spoon, i gave him a rice cake the other day and he sucked it to death.

Have cleaned both the bathrooms, i feel virtuous May go and bake a cake to scoff later.