May 2020 Babies

[MarshmallowsOnToast]

Still waiting for my little man to arrive but starting a thread ready. Can't wait to catch up with all the other May 20 mums.

Huge congratulations to those who have already met their little ones. It's been quite a scary time to face giving birth recently and you've all done amazingly.

Thought I'd share my little man, born 11.44pm on Saturday night. 6lbs 8oz, Dylan.

Congratulations to all the new arrivals.

We are now parents of a 3+ weeks old here. Settling in well. He's breastfeeding well and have taken a small bottle twice fine also. (nuk with latex teat if anyone has bottle refuser, he won't take the silicone dummy we have, so maybe the latex is key?)

He is also happy to nap in pram or bouncer most of the time which has been great to allow dh and I time to actually rest, or eat or shower.
Although have eaten many meals one handed with him in arms still.

It still seems to take us about 3hrs from waking up in the morning, to actually getting downstairs for breakfast! Anyone else finding the same? by the time we are woken, I feed him, dh brings tea to bed, I feed him again, then dh changes him, we both shower, feed baby again... Its a good thing we have nowhere to go right now.

I have had night sweats with all three- with DC1 I can remember feeling really worried there was something wrong. I’ve had them since day 9 with this one and still going strong. I’m a bit less emotional and weepy now- the lockdown was definitely getting to me!

@EmmaOvary he's gorgeous! Congratulations

Just catching up now (trying my best!) Hope everyone has had a lovely bank holiday weekend. We have been manic in our house, I'm still aching, we had a trip to the hospital to check Lucas' jaundice levels. Thankfully all okay but back today for the baby hip clinic so praying he's all clear and they can just discharge us there and then 🤞 My partner somehow managed to break his foot on the stairs on Friday, so we are both pretty exhausted trying to deal with a 2 year old and a newborn, just hoping things get easier over the next few days

Thanks for being so lovely all. I know I should speak to my health visitor but honestly I feel too guilty. Keep thinking of the overwhelming love I felt for my daughter when she was born and it breaks my heart. I don’t really feel anything for this little boy.

@GinUnicorn please don’t feel guilty. It’s not your fault and it’s nothing you have done. Please don’t make the same mistake that I did first time round and try and middle through. I waited until he was 5 months old and I missed out on so much. It was only when I started treatment and felt better that I realised what I had missed out on. And I forever feel regret for not doing it sooner. I know how hard it is to admit your feelings, you think everyone is going to judge you. But they won’t. They are waiting for your call. Be brave and do it. And then you will start to feel things for your little boy, it will come. You just have to sort out you first. You wouldn’t ignore a broken leg, so don’t ignore your mental health. Big hugs xx

@GinUnicorn can you speak to your GP, or see if you can do a self-referral for counselling? I felt like this with my little girl and left it for so long I feel like I missed so much of her first months as I felt so down. I know it's scary admitting it especially to professionals but you'll feel a lot better for it once you get some proper support! I hope things start to settle for you soon xx

@GinUnicorn oh bless you, I really feel for you lovely. PND does not define you and it's not a choice so you must not feel guilty! Your mental health is SO important, to you and everyone in your life. You must must must take care of yourself! There's no judgement whatsoever. Please don't suffer in silence ❤️

@ginunicorn I totally hear that. I'm still struggling with the connection with my little boy. I didn't feel that overwhelming love either, I'm pretty sure I still haven't. But each day he makes me smile a little more so I can feel it's coming. But people keep saying 'oh my goodness don't you just love him so much' and 'oh you must be so in love with him and just keep staring at him all the time' which just makes me feel even worse that I don't feel those things. Im not sure I even like his name?! I loved it when we named him but I was poorly in hospital and so drugged up and now it feels bad luck to change it! And my husband loves it. However I cant picture him as anything else so I'm pretty sure it's just part of the PND. Also I can imagine him as an Ollie soon, just not as a newborn, it feels odd. I think I'm just not as into the newborn phase as most are? I'm so excited for when hes laughing and sitting up and we can play, that's when I'm best with babies! The interactive phase. I know I'll miss these days at some point I'm sure and I'll miss my tiny baby but right now I feel like better days are coming. I feel guilty for feeling the way I do, and it's terrifying voicing it on here let alone to anyone else, but I know it's the right thing. We will get there @ginunicorn just hold on and please try and talk to someone even if it's us on here. We are here for you xxx

Bit gutted today. Oliver is 2 weeks old and hasn't regained birth weight. I've been trying to feed him as much as possible but the midwife today said he's feeding too much and therefore not giving my breasts time to fill up and also he is burning energy by suckling. I've to make a feeding diary.

@Delbelleber pretty sure you can't feed a breastfed baby too much... but does baby seem happy after a feed? Plenty of wet nappies? Perhaps there's a tongue tie which is preventing effective milk transfer? Did the midwife see you doing a whole feed?

No tongue tie, plenty of nappies. She's seen him latching on but not a full feed. She said he should be going 3 hours between feeds to give my milk time to fill up and he should be sleeping more between feeds. I don't mind him comfort feeding but apparently it's wasting his energy and not giving me time to fill up. Don't know how else to comfort him tbh!!!! I give him a dummy sometimes which he takes sometimes and spits away sometimes.

You can’t over feed a breastfed baby 🤷🏼‍♀️ Does he settle after feeds for a decent amount of time? Mine tends to sleep 2-3 hourly overnight and then during the day is more like 2 hourly but will have days where he cluster feeds constantly for a good few hours which is tough. Is he having wet and dirty nappies? How far off birth weight is he?
I have given mine a dummy because sometimes he definitely just wants to suck for comfort and early evenings is my worst time for milk supply so when he starts to get frustrated at the breast I offer the dummy which does work sometimes x

On another note I had minimal bleeding after my section 2 weeks ago and the bleeding stopped for a couple of days there but came back yesterday and today I had a massive gush with some small clots. Does that sound normal?

Sorry I replied at the same time. I don’t agree with what she’s said, the whole point is you demand feed, you can’t always make them wait 3 hours?! It’s supply and demand, the more they feed the more milk you get. Try not to stress too much, I’m sure he will get there xx

I'm not sure because he was weighed twice this week and I'm not sure how much he has put on since Monday but he was 7lb9 at birth and 7lb1 on Monday.

Yes feeding on demand and supply and demand has always been my understanding of it as well @Emmacb82

@Delbelleber I don't agree with 3 hours between feeds and your breasts don't need time to "fill up" Perhaps ask if there's a lactation consultant available, even just for advice over the phone? I wouldn't go with what your midwife says. She doesn't sound well informed.

My bleeding also seemed to have stopped, then yesterday and today it's gone back to red. I seem to remember similar with my first pregnancy. Have you been a bit more active in the last few days? Perhaps the healing site of the placenta got disturbed somehow?

She should be because she is the Head midwife. But I agree the advice isn't what I'm used to with breastfeeding. It's not like I can make him go longer between feeds if he is getting upset. Next weigh in is in 10 days so hopefully he will have gained plenty by then.

I have been quite active going for walks etc so I guess that could be the cause of the bleeding. It's the heaviest it's been since the section.

Hi all, joining in from the May group. Had my baby today by planner section as he turned breech at 39 weeks. Baby Logan was 7lbs5. We’re in hospital for a couple of days to recover.

Sorry, *planned section!

@GinUnicorn one of the symptoms is not feeling able to tell anyone! If you can admit it, then it's a step towards feeling better.
And don't worry about the instant love. I think you need your hormones to be balanced for it to surface. I had PNA the first time and it took a while, but suddenly you realise that you feel like yourself for a while today and it'll be longer tomorrow. And then you realise that this baby is quite frankly the most important thing in your life and you absolutely can't live without him. And actually what on Earth ever made you this happy before? It's coming. Promise.

Also joining @Moongirl10 coming over from the antenatal group. My DS was born Wednesday night.

Congratulations @Moongirl10 and @Naughtysausage