Ttc first baby catch up with our babies!

[Fivebyfive2]

Just putting this on in case anyone wants to catch up? We're all at different stages, so might be able to help each other out?

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl sorry I know I'm missing people, I'm blaming newborn brain!

I'll leave the link on the 'pregnancy' catching up thread xxx

Hey everyone I'm so sorry I disappeared again and I promise to catch up tomorrow but I've had such a tough few days, I'm really struggling. DH has taken Dina downstairs I think so I've got some time to type this, sorry if it's a brain dump. This leap has been horrible, it's amazing watching her become more alert and aware BUT she's fighting to keep herself awake at night but cries because she's so tired and it's really got to me!! We get upstairs for 6ish but she's not been going to bed until 11/12!!! She also won't sleep in her snuzpod so I've been co sleeping. Don't mind the co sleeping so much as once she's out she's fantastic but it's so horrible watching her so tired!! She'll be feeding on me but kicking and screaming, but she just won't settle at all! She feeds so much during those 4/5 hours that I'm then exhausted but she's super clingy to me so I can't really sleep until she does. Then because she sleeps so late she's waking up super late so her routine is late again? I tried to get her into bed a little later today around 7/8 and managed to finally get her to nap... for 25 mins!! She still hasn't slept. DH is just walking around the house with her but she's either talking to him or just moaning. She won't take a bottle either atm she just doesn't want formula, but because she's so upset and wants boob I don't think they're filling up quick enough because of how often she's on them. Please tell me this gets better 😞

Quick one mid night feed!

@MrsEG - smashed it mate, massive high 5!

@MrsH497 - thank you! And my sympathies; reflux is awful.

@cupcakesandglitter - we had what you’re describing with Finn during week 2 incl a 24 hour period where he wouldn’t sleep - including on me for more than 20 mins and it would have taken me 2 hours to get him to that. I called it hell day (it was a Sunday that I’ll never forget) but I PROMISE you’ll come out the other side of it.

@MrsEG, waaagh, you are rocking it 😎 They're so gorgeous! Hope you treated yourself to wine and chocolate last night 😀🍷🍫

@cupcakesandglitter, how old is Dina now, coming up to 3 months?? Sorry I can't keep up with all the ages! Joe is a sleep fighter, although he's worse in the day. She might be having a spurt with her feeding; I think as long as she's doing normal wet and dirty nappies she's probably just getting her order in. But keep trying with the bottle sometimes, as it's good if they take both, just in case! Dh had to give the bottle as Joe got more alert, if I tried he was like 'what are you trying to pull here mum, boooob meee!' 😂 He will take one from me now though, occasionally.

@MrsH497, we used to have to hold Joe up for almost half an hour after a feed, I think that's why we're a bit behind on 'self settling' because he'd always fall asleep during a a feed or whilst being held! He'd be writhing and grunting as soon as put him down, but at about 8 weeks (I think) he suddenly got better! We used infacol for wind.

Joe had a good night, 8 till 5.30 with 2 fairly easy night feeds in between 🙂

@Fivebyfive2 - yay Joe! We had a bit of a fragmented night last night, but we’re getting there.
We’ve had the holding up issue with Finn too, which I think will make the settling difficult but I must try!!

I’m dreading trying to get Finn to self- settle when I can’t seem to get his awake times right...he’s always tired at the 1H mark and if I don’t have him asleep by 1H 20, there’s tears BUT he cries anyway as he tends to want to feed to sleep.
This morning I finally got him down near the 2h mark and he’s so fidgety in my arms.
I’ve read some sleep resources where there saying you need to push them to have longer waking windows and that they all cry after about an hour due to a dip in energy levels...what do we think?
I want to try and nail this before getting him to sleep on his own, but I just feel there’s a huge struggle ahead!

@MrsEG how cute are your two? Simply gorgeous! Well done to you as well! 👍

@MrsH497 oh that doesn't sound much fun... I frequently cry to DH about everything!

@cupcakesandglitter there is an end! You will get your wonderful baby back again 😊 I agree with @Fivebyfive2 - Ethan's a terrible day sleeper but doesn't do too badly at night (unless it was last night, in which case he was a humbug!!)

@ELW85 Ethan's awake time varies so much! He's just dropped off now after being awake for only 90 mins, yet this morning he was awake for over 2 hours before a nap! Just do what works for you and Finn will figure it out, I promise

@MrsR16 - I feel really lost with it! Do I put him down at first yawn or after a few?! I honestly feel super out of my depth with it, which means I think I’ll struggle to get him to self settle 😢

@ELW85 I honestly have no idea! I let Ethan show more than one sign before attempting to get him to sleep... he just screams otherwise!

@MrsR16 - see that’s my thing! He could be kicking away in his chair and if he’s yawning but I start trying to get him down, he cries so I’m like are you over or undertired? My head is done in 😂

@ELW85 I feel ya!! I just go with if I'm struggling to settle him after 5 mins or so, I'll let him sit and do something else and then generally after that once he shows tired signs again he'll go down easier! I wish babies came with an instruction manual that they have read! 😂😂

@ELW85, I'll echo what @MrsR16 says! I think it depends what we've been doing; if he's been rolling around going crazy and playing with noisy/colourful bits, he can be ready for a nap after under 2 hours but if we've just been reading, cuddling etc then it can be 2.5 hours now. If he gets over tired and starts screaming I take him to the bedroom and try feeding in the dark and quiet to calm him... If that doesn't work and he's still worked up, I bung him in the pram (#badmomhabbits!)

@Fivebyfive2 @MrsR16 - maybe I’ve been trying to get him down too early! Christ it’s a minefield 😂

Thanks ladies!! We ended up having a good night too - 7-7:30 with just one wake up from Ruairí!! I’m sure it’s all a fluke and the 4-month regression isn’t just over after a few days haha - but I’ll take it!

@ELW85 I honestly wouldn’t worry too much about awake time’s yet - when the boys were Finns age I struggled to keep them awake more than an hour especially in the morning, I just used to bundle them in the pram and take them out for a nap. I did try and extend their awake time’s once and discovered overtiredness from overstimulation is hell, actual hell haha!! The boys are 18 weeks tomorrow and still only go 1.5-1.75 hrs awake. Some say it should be 2 hours now but they never make it haha!
We got the boys self settling initially with dummies and then once they both started ducking their thumbs we found Conor didn’t need his anymore. The whole drowsy but awake thing really does work but it won’t if they’re overtired! You may also deal with some screaming - Conor frequently has a wee scream when put down but I just stand outside the door and set a 2-min timer and he generally drifts off / stops crying in that time. It’s not an overnight success though!! We spent weeks working on it.

@MrsH497 reflux is awful - are you on anything for it? Getting the Gaviscon from the GP was the best thing I ever did for Conor!!

@cupcakesandglitter Ah hun - the newborn weeks are hard hard work. It does get better, it really does - just remember that everything is just a phase!

Ruairí has outgrown his 3-6 clothes already - this outfit it 6-9! Where are my tiny babies going!!

@MrsEG - how gorgeous! I know I should be worrying but if he yawns after 50 mins and I try to get him down, sometimes he seems wide awake, other times it’ll work, other times he’ll cry. If I leave it til later, sometimes he does the same! I feel I can’t win.
Just tried the drowsy/awake thing and it fully woke him up! Sigh.

@MrsEG oh wow that's incredible - fingers crossed it was just a very short blip and they're back to business now!

@ELW85 FWIW I used to put M down as soon as she yawned! But I'm guessing, like everything, it differs baby to baby. God why is it all so bloody confusing!??!

I am just done today. The four month regression has hit us HARD. The last few nights she has literally been up every 1.5 hours. Today she is fighting her day time naps and consequently becoming so overtired and agitated. We've decided to start sleeping in the spare room in shifts again. I swear this is worse than when she was a newborn.

@purplefig It’s hard hard hard isn't it. I feel like I’ve had two good nights but I’m not kidding myself that it’s over! Some of the girls in my NCT group have babies a few weeks older and they’re still in the thick of it.
Last week I had a night where I was up so much with Ruairí I stopped bothering going back to sleep and just read a book. He was never hungry and just needed settling every single time! It is crap and it’s the hardest I’ve found things in quite a while. Have tonnes of snacks in preferably with sugar ha! I was having ice lollies at like 4am!

@ELW85 Every baby is so different - you’ll figure his cues and things out soon I’m sure! Conor is always the one to go from tired to overtired monster super fast so it’s him I watch more really; Ruairí doesn’t even have any cues I’ll sometimes just notice he’s fallen asleep on the playmat 🙈

@MrsEG @purplefig - Christ that sounds AWFUL! How you’re both alive is beyond me! I really hope you’re ok.

I see Finn yawn etc but no matter what I try (EASY etc) he needs boob or cries and cries when I rock him (but will eventually sleep) so it’s super hard to tell if he’s over/under tired or just wanting to be fed to sleep!
Thanks for the tips and advice; please keep it coming as I’m really struggling with this!
I want to start breaking the association when I’m trying to get him to sleep in his cot in the next week or so, so I need to be set for success 😂

And if anyone is doubting their parenting skills, have a read of this! The old school anecdotes will entertain you...and make you wonder what we’ll be criticised for in years to come!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3932300-To-ask-how-women-did-it?msgid=97270502#97270502

@ELW85, ha ha I saw that thread, it gave me a good laugh! My nan apparently gave my mum bottles of normal cows milk with butter?! I think she might be getting a bit confused, as she's 90 and mad a hatter but it still makes me laugh 😂 How's Finn this evening? Joe's late afternoon nap got thrown all out of whack via a poonami and massive spit up (he was happy a Larry throughout!) but he's still gone down OK tonight; fed pretty much to sleep, held up a bit, verrryyy gently roused as I put him down and left a hand on his legs and another on his cheek (don't ask me why this settles him, but it works!) We'll see how the night goes... Also, my NCT friend sent me some sleep info she's used and it includes tips on how to stop feeding to sleep, I could send it on if you like? I haven't actually looked at it yet, but hopefully will have time soon!! Xxx

@purplefig, aaahh sorry to hear the 4 month biatch has got you!! It was horrendous with Joe, coincided with conjunctivitis and then a cold! I think (more like pray!) we're coming out of it now, at almost 6 months. To be fair I think the other ailments were a big part of his and possibly him being a bit prem didn't help eiyher. Hopefully M will come through it swiftly and with style 🙂

Here is my little moon boy, fresh from an afternoon of full on people watching in the park 😂 He was actually craning his neck to look at people!!

Urgh. Daisy napped like an absolute pro yesterday. Went down with no fuss within 5 minutes and slept for 2x2 hours. But she's making up for it tonight and is sleeping like a newborn again 🤦🏻‍♀️ Up every couple of hours. I've fed her, changed her, rocked her. Not sure if she's napped too long, her teeth are giving her jip or we are starting on the 8 month sleep regression 😩 hoping she goes down soon and has a couple of hours before her 5:30 wake time. What fun! 🥴

@trashkitten10, oh god I feel you, sorry you had a rubbish night! At least she did well in the day, take the victories where you can!

Joe went down at 8 but was up at 11, 1.30 and wiiiiide awake at 4.30! He's only just having a morning nap, maybe he's getting to the point of his wake times getting closer to 3 hours rather than 2??

Feeling strangely overwhelmed this morning ladies 😕 So much going on... Weaning starts this week and I'm so nervous for choking or something and feeling like we haven't prepped enough. Moving to his room in the next few weeks and I feel like I've messed up by not being 'stricter' for want of a better word, with finding ways to improve his sleep?! I keep saying if I can just get time to myself, I'll read up / do a plan / use an ap properly... But I don't get the time... But I could get the time if I was organised/good enough to get him to sleep on his own... Vicious circle!! 🤔 I was so hoping we'd be able to properly see family by now or at least soon but it doesn't look realistic right now. Maybe I'll ring the health visitor kine, but it's pot luck if you get a good one or a rubbish one!

I'm trying to be positive... Joe is mostly pretty happy, coming on well with weight and milestones etc. I've been breastfeeding for 6 months (not that it makes me super mum or anything, but we had a few struggles so do feel a bit proud!) I get a bit of my evenings back from Fri onwards, as long as Joe plays ball 😀

Sorry that post was soooo long and rambling!! Xx

@Fivebyfive2 Yes celebrate the victories haha. Sounds like you had a rough night too 😩

Have you decided how you're going to wean? I'd planned to do a first aid course - obviously that isn't possible currently- but I found that watching some videos about how to deal with choking helped me to stay calm and know what to do just in case. We have done baby led weaning from the start with Daisy and she's taken to it really well. It's all personal preference but I think that by skipping the purées and starting straight away with proper food, we've both gained a lot of confidence in her ability to manage. She spent weeks just chewing and not really swallowing anything but now she can eat loads and very rarely gags or struggles as she's practised the chewing part for so long. Have confidence in Joe, they learn so quickly and he will feed off you and how calm or anxious you are. He will gag and probably cough, splitter and even vomit and that's totally normal as he figures it all out. A bit scary, but normal and healthy.

As for the sleep, don't beat yourself up, you've done what's been best for you and Joe and it's definitely not too late to get him sleeping better. Daisy was waking 6+ times a night up until 6 months but after putting her in her own room and taking her dummy away she miraculously started sleeping 11 hours solid (apart from last night of course 😂). A lot of things I read said to wait until 6 months to sleep train so you're at the perfect point now whilst putting him into his own room to be a little 'stricter' and get your evenings back. Try to find time to have a little read about different strategies to improve babies sleep or have a chat with your DP and come up with a plan for once Joe is in his own room. DH and I had been doing completely different strategies to get Daisy to sleep which caused a lot of stress for everybody so at the very least agree together what you're going to do to get him to sleep and what to do when he cries. You've done an amazing job on very little sleep for 6 months, you should feel very proud of yourself :)

@ELW85 my main tip would just be perseverance and consistency - you’ll need a thick skin as they will scream sometimes (it’s almost always fighting sleep!) and some naps will just be shit but just clock it all up to experience and persevere. You’ll get there!

@TrashKitten10 Oh no! Oh what a night. Hope youve got a nice chilled one today!

@Fivebyfive2 We did a first aid course and choking us very rare - I’d agree maybe watch a few YouTube videos! And also agree that they feed off you so just try and keep mealtimes calm and happy etc. If you’re enjoying it they will too! Did you do NCT? They’re running some virtual weaning classes soon - I’m booked on to one next Wednesday it was only about £20 I think. I’ve read a load of books etc but my main concern is - how the hell do I keep a close enough eye on two haha! Good luck with it all - you may find once he’s in his own room his sleep improves anyway, I certainly did with the boys!

Ladies - for the first time in a good while both boys slept right through last night. They were in bed at 6:45 and I didn’t hear a peep til 7am. I am whole again haha!!

@trashkitten10, thank you! I think I'm just feeling it a bit today, your post really helped 😀We're going with the Ella's kitchen plan, a mix of soft foods and finger foods, but will just see how it goes. Aaahh you've given me hope on the sleep too! Treated myself to a comfy rocking chair for his room so at least I won't be feeding /comforting him on the floor 😂

@MrsEG, glad you had a good night 👍🙂

Joe's new favourite thing... Blowing raspberries! He did it a bit when he was starting to babble etc but yesterday seemed to just remember and has been doing them constantly since 😂

@MrsEG so glad the boys slept through for you - you must be elated!!

@ELW85 it's really hard when they cry and you don't know WHY. I still have that with M tbh, we're just working it all out together. What worked for us (until this lovely regression!) was the shh/pat method. The first time she cried for 40 mins (we were right there with her, giving her physical contact and reassuring words) and then she went to sleep. After that she 'got' it and broke that suckling to sleep association. But I've messed it up by feeding her back to sleep about five times through the night for two nights. Aghrr! I'd say if he is eventually falling to sleep then he is tired and just having difficulty switching off. It helped me to realise it's a whole new skill for them to acquire and it's frustrating not being able to get to sleep when you're tired.

@Fivebyfive2 oh wow it sounds like you guys have dealt with the works at four months! So pleased you're coming out the other side of it now.

Well last night she just outright wouldn't go down at 7pm last night. We ended up giving up at 9pm and getting her up.I then took her upstairs to the spare room that doesn't join any neighbours rooms as I was fully expecting lots of crying and I was adamant I wasn't going to feed her to sleep multiple times through the night.
Fed her at 10pm as usual and that did send her to sleep. Went to bed expecting to be woken up in an hour, but she went until 1.30am. Woke screaming bloody murder, but I decided to wait it out until 2am, as she goes 4 hrs between foods in the day and I'm confident she's eating enough - she's jumped for 50th to 75th and has at least one dirty nappy a day. Anyway, I gave her a dummy and that miraculously settled her back to sleep....and I didn't hear a peep out for her until 5.30AM!!!!! Sorry if this is the world's dullest story but it's just made me feel very confident that she's not actually waking multiple times a night for food, but rather comfort. So now I can proceed with getting her back to sleep rather than constantly whipping my boob out. The latter is the easier option at 3am, let's be honest, but I feel like I'd be making a rod for my own back.

@purplefig The boys don’t either - it was a revelation when I figured it out! No more making bottles at 3am! I remember the first time I thought ‘I’m just gonna try and settle him instead’ and it worked I was like.... holy crap. Haha! They haven’t had a feed through the night now for ages. They now tend to have big feeds in the day (Ruairí is on 9oz bottles the fat chops!) and it tends to see them through. Sounds like you had a much better night but sorry to hear she wouldn’t go down at 7!! How old is she now? About a month ago I was having big, big issues with the boys - it was taking me an hour to get them down. Hard with only two arms haha! It was just painful. I can’t even proffer any advice they just sort of stopped after about a week! I just rode it out - I couldn’t get them both back up as DH works evenings so I’d just sit on the floor until they finally zonked out!

@Fivebyfive2 Ahh bless Joe blowing raspberries! We do it to the boys and they love it - apparently fart noises are hilarious from a very young age haha!

Have a pic of Ruairí just because he’s rocking some seriously cool threads today 😎

So I realised this afternoon that I’m actually becoming terrified of lockdown being over - I have so many fears that are creeping to the surface. Will I be able to settle them in the wild?? Will being out a lot more bugger up their naps and sleep? Will they be shy/clingy/cranky? Will they be confused by new people??? Is anyone else worried?