Ttc first baby catch up with our babies!

[Fivebyfive2]

Just putting this on in case anyone wants to catch up? We're all at different stages, so might be able to help each other out?

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl sorry I know I'm missing people, I'm blaming newborn brain!

I'll leave the link on the 'pregnancy' catching up thread xxx

@MrsEG honestly I was gobsmacked! She's a bit of a chunky monkey (she was 14lbs 6oz last time I weighed her at 15 weeks) so I just assumed she'd deffo need at least one feed through the night. Tbh she didn't even seem that hungry at 5.30am, but my boob was fit to burst hahaha. She's 16 weeks now and she normally goes down at 7.30pm no problem, but yesterdays naps were a bit off so I'm hoping that's what caused it...think she got MEGA overtired. I'm just going to try and ride it out like you've done, and try and not accidentally start up the feed to sleep habit again. She's using her dummy quite a bit now for sleep, but you have to pick your battles don't you?!

OMG Ruairí looks outrageously cute, I loveeeee that jumper! Yes I feel exactly the same - well, I want lockdown over with (and this virus gone, wishful thinking I know), but I am very nervous about getting out and about with her for all the reasons you mentioned. I'm actually going to start meeting up with the odd friend (socially distanced) just to practice being out with her. Also it's fab we get to see my parents more (I'm really close with them) but it's unbearable them not being able to hold her / give us a break. Grrr. It's such a mental time to have a new baby isn't it? Or two in your case. Honestly I'm in awe of you - I can barely cope with one!

Afternoon all!

Finn did a nice little 6 hour stretch last night and woke up hungry (understandably!) then he did his usual 2.5 hour burst but overall, a good night!

I think I’ve found the source of my emotional state at the weekend...AF just landed. Weird after a year! And I’m still combo feeding?!

Thank you all for the tips - agree consistency is the key which is why I feel so nervous I think. I don’t have a game plan yet so I don’t really wanna start until I’m prepped. @purplefig @MrsEG - did you guys replace the food cues with anything else, like a sleep bag?

@purplefig - you’re doing a cracking job with M! And I totally don’t blame you for feeding when you’re at your wits end. Those 3am decisions are totally necessary!

@MrsEG - those clothes are awesome! I wouldn’t fear the removal of lockdown too much for a couple of reasons...one when the second wave inevitably hits, we’ll be back down, and two I honestly don’t think it’ll disrupt the boys. The skills you and thru have developed are totally transferable!

@Fivebyfive2 - I hope you’re feeling better lovely? Your day of reflux and poosplosions mirrored mine yesterday too! So pleased you found that thread entertaining; it distracted me from my nap-session yesterday but anything you could send me would be awesome, if you don’t mind?
You’re doing a brilliant job, please don’t stress yourself over sleep like I do! It’s true that you do what’s right for you as you need to, so never worry. Everything is do-able at any stage!

@purplefig Ah wow!! Ruairí was weighed at at 14 weeks and was 14lb 1 - he’s due a weigh in again soon! He’s 18 weeks now and 3-6 clothes don’t fit 😫 he’s in 6-9 now too!
Stick with the dummy haha! I use them a lot when Ruairí wakes, if it works - it works haha! I also read up on them on the NCT website and they’re not as ‘poo pooed’ these days anyway as the majority are approved by orthodontists. I was a thumb sucker as a kid though, and so are both boys now! I’m already mentally saving for their braces haha!
Yep - that’s a really good idea, I need to start going out and meeting up with people a bit more. I’ve been having loads of issues with my mum recently though (long story but she kind of sort of kidnapped my niece during a BBQ!) so the idea of her not holding the boys no longer troubles me at all!

@ELW85 I’m not sure what you mean about replacing food cues? Sorry could be me just not interpreting what you’ve written right! 6 hours - go Finn!
Yep I’m in Manchester and our R number is still over 1 - I think we’ll be the first to be in ‘local lockdown’!

@ELW85 six hours is amazing - that's the longest stretch M has ever done and even then she's only managed it a handful of times. Go Finn! Weird about AF - but I think it can happen regardless of BF? Just more common for it to be on hold for a while. Still, bloody annoying. Pun definitely not intended but I'll take it. Yes you're right - you need a game plan. Tbh I just kept up with what I was doing (which at the time was feeding to sleep for every nap, and holding her while she was asleep.....aghrr!) while I read the book and made a plan. Then we started on a Sunday (as DH available to help) and went for it. Easier to stick with it when you've made your mind up I think. By food cues do you mean as in breaking the association between feeding and sleeping? If so yes - we now have a wind down routine that precedes every sleep (unless we're out in sling) which goes...into nursery, black out blinds closed, white noise machine on (this is fab!), into swaddle sleepsuit, have a little cuddle for a few mins (sometimes we play a song which she strongly associated with sleep, if she's particularly wired), then into cot when calm but awake. Then generally speaking I leave her be and she drifts off in about 10/15 mins, but since the fourth month regression it has been a bit trickier.

@MrsEG Oh wow 6-9 already?! That's mad!! I think M has a short ish torso and long legs (similar to me actually) so she's OK in babygros and tops, but sleepsuits/leggings/dungarees...yeah the 3-6 month ones are all starting to look a bit small. Yes I'm not against dummys, I just thought she wasn't interested in them and it seems mad to introduce now - but tbh if it's working I'll take it. She's a fellow finger sucker too! I've just been up to check on her and she's now been asleep for 2.5 hrs...and the dummy is out of her mouth! Overjoyed. Need to wake her in a min as feed is due at 3pm. Wouldn't normally let her nap for nearly 3 hrs, but I imagine she's shattered after yesterday. That's mad about your mum - is your sister OK? What a scary/strange thing to happen! I'm really nervous about meeting up with friends out of home, but I'm meeting a fellow new mum friend tomorrow and we're both equally as nervous so we've given each other permission to bale if the babies kick off and have a proper screaming meltdown haha.

@MrsEG - sorry it’ll be how I’ve written it, I just meant did you break the feed to sleep by going cold turkey or trying to replace bottle etc with a sleeping bag, dummy etc.
I hope everything gets sorted with your Mum...I e seriously had second thoughts of mine looking after Finn given some things she’s said on WhatsApp....

@purplefig - sorry - I thought I’d hit ‘post’ and then missed what you’d written!
I’ll definitely feel more confident with a plan...no idea why I’ve got a mental block to crack on!

@purplefig sorry and yes, your routine is exactly what I meant!
I need to not try all of this until I know if I’m going to pick him up, let him stay there etc in the event of him going mad!

@ELW85 Ah I get you now! So yep, exactly like purplefig once I had read my book and had an idea as to what we wanted to do, we just went for it. For the evening that day we did a big feed before bath and bed. We have a super consistent routine at night of bottle, a bit of sensory play, bath and bed - we have the Slumber Buddy on in the nursery, otherwise totally blacked out, straight in to sleeping bags (we started with sleeping bags at 3 months) and we read a bedtime story and sing a song for bed. They so, so quickly get used to a routine!

Oh no - what’s been said by your mum?

Ah we’ve just had a terrible time with my Mum. She took lockdown very very badly with two new grandsons and a niece she used to look after twice a week. Which I understand. But anyway - the short version is when lockdown eased recently she begged to hold the boy’s and stupid me relented as long as I watched her wash and sanitize her hands (we have a downstairs toilet so she didn’t have to walk through the house or anything). I immediately regretted it but then could not get them back off her - as in she quite literally ignored me and was almost running off in the garden with them. I HATED it. Had to send a message later on saying it would not be happening again. Then on my birthday last week my sister had a BBQ - I only stayed an hour but after I left I had this frantic call from my sister saying my niece had been playing on her bike just by the side of the house - mum had said she’d keep an eye on her and when sis went to get her they were gone - she couldn’t find them anywhere. Mum had left her phone at home. Turns out she took my niece to the park and was gone 30 mins with no one being able to contact her. It was insane. She hasn’t spoken to me and my sister now for a week: somehow, we have ended up the bad guys?! Ugggh. Families!!

@purplefig Ruairí is just giant! He’s huge. In fact I’ll post a pic of him sat next to Conor - he looks like this massive giant baby haha! I think the finger/thumb sucking helps them settle you know, do you?? So I’m all for it haha! Your plan sounds great - it’s nice to be out with someone who understands if you need to just leave immediately!!

@purplefig whoops here’s the pic!

@MrsEG - thank you! Did you do any settling with them or just kind of let them figure out that meant sleep with no intervention?
I don’t know whether to sort naps out first or try a night time!

Oh no! That sounds pretty intense from your Mum.
Parents are so unpredictable when it comes to grandparent habits.
Mine basically criticises everything I do and things like “he’ll sleep when he sleeps”
“Let him cry - you need to get on with your day”
I’d agreed she could look after him 2 days and I massively regret that now...

And look at Ruairi! It’s lush that they’re so different!

@MrsEG You're a cloth bum mum too! 🥰

Today I am swimming in sick 😩 Upwards of 30 times today Daisy has puked over me, the carpet, the furniture or herself. She managed 10 just after her first bottle! She did a stealth purple berry puke over my shoulder in the kitchen that I then stood in 😒 I really thought that once she was sitting up the sickiness would get better but some days it seems worse. Probably not always helped by the fact she would rather army crawl than sit still after eating 🙈 Even so though, it's crazy amount. Do you think I should bring it up with the health visitor or doctor? They probably won't be interested as she's completely unfazed by it and is healthy and growing. But my god I can't wait for the day I'm not always clutching a soggy muslin cloth haha.

@TrashKitten10 We are! I really struggled with cloth at first but we’ve found our way with it recently! They’re amazing. I love all the prints too!
Oh god - poor Daisy, and you!! I would definitely bring it up, it sounds like a lot! Maybe there might be some tips the HV could have to help? They helped us loads with Conor and colic.

@ELW85 To be honest the bath always settles them! They didn’t like being taken out but would calm right down once being dressed etc. We always ‘shhhhhh’ a lot and very low voices - we actually try to talk as little as possible really other than the story and song. Also stroking Conors head used to really get his eyes closing!
My mum had offered to have the boys one day a week but it isn’t happening now. My sister told me that whilst looking after her daughter she lets her sleep whenever she wants (so bedtime is awful - she’s 2 now), feeds her loads of things she specifically asks her not to, etc etc... just a nope from me! I don’t want their week to be messed up just because she won’t follow our parenting methods etc.

@TrashKitten10 - I’d 💯 bring it up with the GP, especially if it’s getting worse.
If she’s not getting dehydrated etc I’m sure she’s fine from a medical perspective but they might give you something like carobel to thicken the feed (sorry, can’t remember how you feed her!)
Sorry you’ve had such a drenched day!

@MrsEG - I’m sure it’s just my brain but I can’t get it in my head that he’ll go from fed to sleep to being put in a cot getting himself to sleep. I basically have no confidence in my ability to execute this!! I’m absolutely in awe of you and @purplefig for achieving it!
I’m with you on the mother thing. Putting all that hard work in for them to basically destroy nap time (therefore bed time)!

Hey guys, thought it might be a good time to join this thread - I've been busy muddling through the first month of motherhood, it's a bit exhausting! Hope you're all doing well. So lovely to see your baby pics.

Here's a pic of Rory. She's a sweetheart.

@ELW85 honestly that is EXACTLY how I felt. It had got so bad with M, she literally wouldn't go to sleep without a nipple in her mouth and if she stirred she would be cross it wasn't there, so for about a week I ended up just going to bed with her whenever she needed to nap. And I just thought: I can't go on like this. I have NO time for myself, nothing else is getting done...I could feel myself slipping. I didn't have any faith in myself, hence relying on the book. Reading lots of positive threads about it helped too, as I thought if it can happen for others it can happen for me! And then having a supportive DH helped massively, as it is hard to start with. But so, so, soooo worth it!

@Larrydavid huge congratulations! Rory looks so dreamy! How're you finding it? I found those first few weeks utterly overwhelming, but it does all settle down. Big hugs.

@MrsEG Awwww bless him, I do love a lil chunker! Were they different sizes at birth? They're such a cute pair. Oh wow that sounds like it's worked out for the best with your mum. Your poor sister!!! Definitely don't blame you not letting her have them one day a week.

Right we've had an excellent day of naps....please keep your fingers crossed tonight goes smoothly. I'm still very nervous!! x

@Larrydavid - congratulations and welcome! She’s gorgeous! I found the first 2 months really hard (and lockdown doesn’t help!) but the wonderful ladies here are as supportive and fantastic as ever so if you need anything, you’re in the right place!

@purplefig - that is exactly how I feel! I’m not getting anything done and I know rocking or feeding him isn’t sustainable. To be fair, he MUST self settle through the night (he pulled a near 9 hour stretch a few nights ago) so I’m hoping I’m just over thinking it!!
It’s so reassuring to know you were in the same place but achieved it!
Good luck for tonight; may your sleep be long and deep 😂

@ELW85 I had the same thoughts! Especially with two of them, I felt like it was gonna be a lost cause! But with them both I just never had even a second for myself and something just had to give. And honestly I was surprised at how quickly they adapted to it! Good luck with it!!

@Larrydavid congrats she is beautiful! How did you get on? I remember you had a hell of a pregnancy!! Was everything okay in the end with the birth etc? Welcome Rory :) I have a Ruairí! It’s Irish but pronounced very similar :)

@purplefig Ruairí was 7lb 3 at 37 weeks born - the doctor said if he’d been a singleton he’d probably have been a ten pounder! Poor wee Conor was only 5lb 14 bless him!! Good luck for tonight - hopefully the good naps have put you in good stead!

@Larrydavid, congratulations, she's just perfect 😍 How are you getting on? Xx

@TrashKitten10, definitely worth a mention, I'll be interested to see if they are concerned as Joe is, a very spitty up baby, although like Daisy he is a happy spitter so it can be hard to decide if it's anything to worry about!

@ELW85, Joe started getting to sleep by himself at 12 weeks, totally out of the blue! Unfortunately from 17 weeks it went downhill and now he has to be proper drowsy for it to work, but for now I'm feeding or rocking until pretty much conked out, then gently putting him down.

We've had a good day 🙂 I even put Joe to sleep in our room at 6.30 after a feed and dh and I had tea and watched telly downstairs with the monitor on, first time we've done that! I figured as Joe is 6 months on Fri then starting with a couple of hours and building up would be a good start. In bed now, god knows how the night will go...

I've decided to chill the F out about things too. We start weaning at the weekend using Ella's kitchen plan. We'll move Joe to his room the weekend after. Dh has 2 weeks off at the end of June so if needs be we can use that time to get into a better routine. I just realised today, Joe is happy and healthy, I'm not back at work till Dec, why am I putting all this pressure on us?!

@Larrydavid huge congratulations! Rory's just beautiful 😊😊

Morning everyone! Hope you're all doing ok 😊 we had a bit of a bad day yesterday, hence why I wasn't on here. Today doesn't seem to be going much better 🙈 but we'll figure it out I'm sure!!

@MrsEG Kudos for managing the extra laundry with twins, I feel like between the sick and the nappies I'm constantly washing just with one!

@Fivebyfive2 Yeah, I think when they're otherwise happy and developing well you just get used to their little quirks like bringing up milk over your clothing every 5 minutes 🙈 but I've just started to wonder if it's something that she should really be growing out of now. I'm waiting for a call back so I'll let you know. Bet it was brilliant having the evening to yourselves, such a monumental moment :)

@ELW85 Yeah a feed thickener might be a good shout. She seems better after solid food so it must help it not just being all liquid sloshing about in her tummy.

@Larrydavid Omg so squishy 😍 he's looovely, congratulations:)

@purplefig How was the night after such fabulous napping?

@MrsR16 Aww :( What's up?

Morning all!

Finn did a nice 8.30-4am stretch last night; we awoke with him chatting away to himself in his Snuzpod! How bizarre!

@Fivebyfive2 - oh I’d love it if he put himself to sleep! Did you just set him down and off he went?!
I’m really pleased you’re feeling better too! Spot on about the pressure but we all do it to ourselves!

@MrsR16 - oh no, what’s up? I hope you’re ok! Xx

@MrsEG - thank you! No idea why I’m so nervous 😬

@TrashKitten10 We never stop washing, ever. It’s a running joke that the washing machine in this house works harder than anyone else haha! It’s unreal. At least once a day - usually twice! And that’s with me and DH both at home so not really changing a lot!

@MrsR16 Oh hun, hope things are a bit better today. Is DH around to help?

@Fivebyfive2 Definitely - don’t put pressure on yourself, like everything with parenting we figure it out as we go!

We had a terrible night last night, this regression is just rough! Lots of wake ups never needing anything other than settling back down, but waking and really crying too. I’m exhausted - they’ve just been plonked in front of YouTube since we got up - I have no energy for anything else!
Starting to get myself prepped for weaning now too, still about 6 weeks to go but I’m getting myself organised. Just kinda figuring out what we wanna do! I’m thinking baby led to be honest - I also have the Wean in 15 book which I’ve been reading and it’s fab. High chairs ordered and bibs en route. I just have no clue how I’ll do it with two but we shall see haha!

@TrashKitten10 - cross post! Carobel can be added to any milk so might be worth a go 😀 it must be really tiring to keep up with! It will just be because she’s active and wriggling around though, as you’ve said.