Ttc first baby catch up with our babies!

[Fivebyfive2]

Just putting this on in case anyone wants to catch up? We're all at different stages, so might be able to help each other out?

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl sorry I know I'm missing people, I'm blaming newborn brain!

I'll leave the link on the 'pregnancy' catching up thread xxx

@thumper59 It’s ridiculous isn’t it? Well we’ve just said mum can come round once a week now - she cleaned for us before so if a complete stranger is now allowed to come and clean my house I’d much rather it be my mum!!

@fivebyfive2 I agree - how are we supposed to cope if DH can return to work, but we can’t see grandparents and nurseries still aren’t open? It is just so illogical.
We sometimes bath them both in the main bath - I just run a shallow bath and lie them both in it, they love it they splash and kick about like mad!! Sometimes I Think it’s almost a bit too much fun before bedtime though haha!

@MrsEG, I'm thinking of broaching the subject of whether we could have mum come over once a week... But if I do that, my in laws will insist on coming round too! It's a conundrum 🤔 Ha ha I can just picture them in the bath! That's partly why we gave up on bedtime baths 😂

@Fivebyfive2 I have bathed Fred in the big bath since he was a newborn. Bathing him with me is a bit of hard work! I've used the angel care seats and find it much easier. He's in the big boy one now 🙂

@MrsEG completely agree! My mum and dad only live around the corner so I am going to see them, if it's so little risk OH can go back to work, surely it's next to absolutely no risk that I see my mum and dad who haven't been anywhere except to shop, the same as us! It's hard to take what they say so seriously when 1) the guy who made the rule, didn't follow his own rule and 2) it seems to be you have to stay in, unless it suits them to get you back to work, then you can go and work alongside people 🙄

Afternoon all

Sorry I’ve been so sporadic. I keep going through phases of ‘everything is fine and I’m getting the hang of this’ until something else happens and I go back to square one.
Yesterday was HELL. The night before us found a method to actually get Finn to sleep so was looking forward to trying to put him down as part of a routine. Yesterday, he decided to scream the house down from afternoon til bedtime at 8.40. Any soothing would wear off in seconds and I was genuinely gonna go to the hospital. I’ve had about 3 hours sleep. I think he hot overstimulated and missed loads of naps which led to it but honestly I don’t know.
He seems to be ok now...
So I was hoping I could ask you all some questions to see how ‘normal’ what we’re doing/experiencing is? Finn is coming up to 7 weeks.

1. Do you have a nap schedule? And how do you put them down for naps? Do you put them in their crib and hope for the best or get them to sleep first?
2. When they’re awake, do you get much time with them to play etc? I feel like basically he either cries after a feed so I have to try and play before a feed if he doesn’t wake up grouchy or if he starts to fuss, I distract him with play briefly but then he quickly gets overtired.
3. Has anyone ever had an Armageddon, ‘oh my god this kid won’t stop crying and there’s nothing I can do about it, they need medical attention’ and are they few and far between? I’ve read about the 4th tri etc so hoping it’s that.

Sorry for the grilling but it’d be great to hear your experiences.

@MrsEG - so pleased your test was negative; I bet that was awful! It sounds like you’re going through the wringer; I hope you’re ok? I really wanted to thank you for your support and lovely responses!
How far in as of a feed do you give the Infacol by the way?

@Fivebyfive2 - look at Joe!! So pleased things are better.
@purplefig - The docs basically think I’m mental and won’t treat him with anything other than Gaviscon which isn’t working, so I took a video of him last night refluxing in his mouth, swallowing it and then screaming. He coughs in his sleep and also sometimes looks like he’s choking. I’m not far off going straight to the hospital an out it. The problem is, they won’t treat it unless they’re so poorly they get pneumonia from it. It’s even in the NICE guidelines.

Sorry for sounding like a downer guys; one minute I’m convinced it’s really not that bad etc and the next it’s the end of the world. I’ll snap out of it, I’m sure!
I hope you’re all doing really well and staying safe ❤️

@ELW85 oh I'm so sorry for you, your doing so well. Those first few weeks are HARD ❤️. If you think something is wrong , I'd push for medical attention. You are his mum and mums know best.

1. I didn't have a nap schedule at all for Freddie when he was that young. We've actually only just started to get into one now. From what I remember he was never awake long after a bottle, so used to fall asleep on me or I'd put him in his Moses basket downstairs with me once he was asleep. From what i remember he had 45min- 1hr awake windows between bottles, so it was just a cycle of feed and sleep and not much awake time really.

1. Think I touched on this in the last bit, in my experience no he didn't have much awake/ play time at all! When he did we'd just talk to him, fuss him and show him lights/ toys.

1. Yes, luckily rarely! But we was lucky with Fred he didn't really suffer with colic or reflux bad, so someone else may be more help on this. Xx

@ELW85, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. You're doing incredibly well, never forget that xx I'll echo much of @thumper59 reply really...

We are only now getting into a nap schedule and that's only because I'm home alone with him all day so nothing to work around! I think until about 2 months we were still mostly in the change, feed, sleep, repeat phase, with some chatting and a bit of toy waving in between. Joe usually fell asleep on the boob or we'd hold him swaying very gently. Sometimes I'd put him in his basket, other times he'd nap on me. We didn't attempt self settling until about 10 weeks I don't think. We gave Joe infacol for wind and he's always been one for spitting up, but he's a happy spitter 😕 He did really grunt and writh around in his sleep, but it just kind of stopped around 10 to 12 weeks. He's had 2 bouts where we were genuinely worried about him with crying and not being himself. We called 111 both times, they were really helpful. I'm sorry I can't be more help! Xxx

Hi all, another person a bit sporadic with thread replies here :)

@ELW85 Bless you, sounds like a tough old day for you. I'd say try not to get too worried about routines and nap schedules so early on. Like @thumper59 my little one is 6 months and is only just getting into a nap schedule, up until now it's just been a case of reading her cues and putting her down when she's tired. We are now down to two naps a day so she sometimes needs a bit of a push to get to a nap but she can cope with that now, she would have just got upset and overtired trying to force her into a schedule at Finn's age.

Daisy was probably awake about an hour max at a time at 7 weeks so it was a case of change, feed, wind, get ready for a nap again. She could only manage an hour awake time until she was over three months as the health visitor was pushing me to do more tummy time with her and I was like 'she's literally never awake!'. Don't worry about play time, tiny babies don't really need much in the way of play and are just as happy chilling, watching and listening. I remember feeling all this pressure to do everything- sensory play, singing, stories, getting her to hold things. The health visitor was saying she wasn't doing very well at tummy time. It was so stressful when Daisy was very happy just being walked around, cuddled and spoken to. Everything will come in time :)

Babies can get very fractious in the late afternoon/evening time. Could be a bit of wind or over tiredness. Maybe try a bit of massage or a warm bath to try to calm him down before trying to get him to settle and snooze. Daisy has never been one for hours of crying but there was one time she sobbed and sobbed so badly I nearly rang 111 in a complete panic as it was really out of character. I was taking her temperature, cycling her legs, rocking, distracting and nothing worked. Then DH made her a bottle and she wolfed it down like she'd not been fed for a month and promptly and happily fell asleep. She had only been fed less than 90 minutes before and was in a pretty reliable feed routine so I'd told myself it couldn't possibly be hunger. It was hunger These babies are sent to try us. Hang in there, it does get easier x

@ELW85 Oh hun! I can absolutely answer the questions:

1. At 7 weeks we had no schedule at all. And they would only nap in the pram too; me and DH were taking our one walk a day separately so they at least had two naps but they were all over the place; at that age I was very much still feeding on demand. So naps kinda worked around it! We started sleep training the boys around 8/9 weeks (I remember it was after my 8-week check after being diagnosed with PND! I needed sleep!!)
2. At 7 weeks awake time with Conor was still just a feed; it would honestly take me an hour to get his bottle down him and like 20 mins later he was falling asleep. I used to try rattles, the playmat, all sorts and he wasn’t interested! I think you’ll see a big difference about 8 weeks though I remember I did. Like wow, you’ve finished your feed and are actually still awake!
3. Armageddon - yes. I don’t know whether you were on the thread already when I took both boys to A&E because they had both screamed at me for 3 hours; literally from finishing a bottle - no sleep, just screaming. In my defence they were both running a temperature but of course the car journey sent them right off to sleep and they were fine at A&E. They were 5 weeks old and it was the first time I heard the word ‘colic’. Ruairí grew out of it at about 8 weeks but we still struggle with Conor. He seemingly still loves a good scream for absolutely no bloody reason, it’s so, so draining. The 4th trimester is hard hard work - I’m in a support group for my PND and I’ll tell you something they told me on there the other day - newborns are nothing but hard work. It’s not dissimilar to any new role - you won’t be immediately qualified, you have to learn as you go - and nobody warns you! We expect it to all come naturally or be in the baby books but it’s not. And so it’s just so exhausting and really really hard hard because it’s so, so new and we haven’t a clue what we are doing!

I know right now 12 weeks probably seems so far but I felt an ease at 3 months. We'd been sleep training for a few weeks (and it was actually working!), they were finally more alert when awake and actually fun to be around. I have no shame in admitting I found the boys so boring as newborns. I did have PND but still, I often found them such a chore for so little reward. I promise, it gets better!! Also - always follow your instinct; if I were you I'd have carted him to A&E (as I did - presenting two fast asleep babies....) - hes a newborn, no one will judge you!

@TrashKitten10 post has just reminded me about those extra bottles! Freddie still has more then 'recommended' now, but he is a big boy!! A few times he'd be crying and crying and I didn't know what was wrong then we gave him another bottle and he was happy as Larry. I did worry about the amount he was having V what it said on the box, but if he was hungry he was hungry! Sometimes he would finish a 5oz or so bottle and cry straight away so we'd do him another and he'd take maybe 3, then come the next bottle he'd only take 4-5 again. They're fickle things!

@thumper59 Ruairí is the same - he has four 9oz bottles a day and he’s 14 weeks old...!

@TrashKitten10 Did tummy time come later for Daisy? I’m always told the boys aren’t very good at it and don’t hold their heads up long enough. HV said they should be doing it 30 mins a day but they hate it!

@Fivebyfive2 @TrashKitten10 @thumper59 @MrsEG - as always ladies, I can’t thank you enough for your kind words and support.
This is the biggest learning curve I’ve ever been up so it’s really comforting that we’re all in it together and it’s great to get your advice and hear your experiences.

I’m also sorry that you’ve all been through the wringer with various things too! I know you’ll all be smashing it, and you should all be massively proud of yourselves; I’m very grateful to know you all and be on this journey with you ❤️

@MrsEG aww big growing lad!! I don't know where they get these guidelines from but I used to worry so much about it!

@ELW85 your doing amazing!! It's such a big learning curve, and nobody can teach you what to do! Just when you get to grips with one thing, they throw something else into the mix! I think that's why they are so cute, so you can't be to mad when they're driving you insane. X

@MrsEG, 30 mins tummy time?! Where do they get these things from I wonder?! I've heard 20 mins and at 5 months we're probably just about scraping 15 mins a day. Joe absolutely hated it, I'm sure it's the only reason he started rolling from front to back 😂 Try not to be too hung up on it, they'll get there when they're ready.

Hi everyone!!

It's well about time I joined this thread! My baby girl Esme is already 8 weeks old!

I've been finding it very tough, going from one anxiety to the next. It's never ending. Always been a wee bit of a worrier but this is next level! But I think it's been made far far worse by the pandemic. My mum managed to visit the day we got home from hospital but didn't hold her and that's the only family we've seen since she was born.

I really feel for you @ELW85 it's such a difficult time. Everything is magnified, all you'd need is someone to visit and tell you x y or x was normal and you'd relax.

We had 8 week jags today, I was a mess! She was far braver than I was!

Don't really know what else to say! This is one of her first smiles!

@ELW85 to answer your questions...

1. At 7 weeks we didn't have a schedule, we just looked for his tired cues and went from there. He mostly slept on us, he was rocked or walked to sleep. 7 weeks is too young to learn to self settle for most babies.
2. We would do sleep-feed-play, but the play bit was very short at that age before the tired cues showed
3. Yeah it happened. At some point it stopped happening.

I'm so sick of lockdown now, I just want to see my family! They live too far away to go meet in a park or something, we would need to stay with them. Looks like that won't be allowed for a while. I'm so disappointed 😞

@MrsEG She's got a huge amount better but still isn't much of a fan of it. She can push herself up on her hands now so will tolerate it as she can see a bit more. Still gives up and cries after a few minutes though and only rolls herself back over if she can be bothered. I don't blame your boys, I wouldn't want to be laying face down on the floor whilst exciting stuff happened around me. My health visitor piled the pressure on too and made a return visit to check her progress in case she needed a GP visit. I wish now I had politely declined. She has always been strong, held herself up well but the lack of tummy time made me panic that there was something wrong. I work with toddlers and pre-schoolers and none of them have ever been stuck on their tummies so they must all get there ☺️ Daisy is probably still behind in terms of pushing herself up on her tummy but she rolled at 4.5 months and sat up unaided at 5.5 months so I'm not worried- she's on track in other ways :) the boys will get there, just do little bursts and don't listen to your HV haha.

@thumper59 - thank you! It’s very hard at times but I do adore him and wouldn’t change it for the world. Freddie is gorgeous and you’re obviously doing a brilliant job!

@LikeTheFruit - it’s crazy isn’t it? Lockdown is essentially a baby vacuum that amplifies everything and you can’t even get out to groups to get a frame of reference!

@stormtrooperjulian - thank you, and agree lockdown is horrendous.

Just because, here is a photo of Finn - can’t believe he hasn’t met any of our family yet!!

And forgot to say @LikeTheFruit - she’s absolutely gorgeous!! You must be so proud ❤️

@ELW85 We have the same cushions!! I take many similar pics haha I’ll post one here! He is so lovely. How are you feeling today? If you ever do feel kinda overwhelmed by it all there is a Facebook support group for Pandas UK for PPD - I have found a lot of very kind women on there!

@thumper59 I still worry I’m over feeding Ruairí! It seems he’ll literally drink whatever is put in front of him!! Is Freddie weaning yet? I wonder if that will start filling the boys up more when the time comes!

@Fivebyfive2 Honestly, who knows! Even 15 mins tummy time would be a good day for us! I just always think they’ll figure these things out in their own time!

Oh my goodness @LikeTheFruit she is gorgeous! How did she get on with the jabs? The boys had a crap time with the 8 week ones; hope you’ve had an okay night!!

@stormtrooperjulian I’m so so over lockdown now too. I’m the same and just really missing my family - it’s my mums birthday today too. My mind still can’t process that people can have their cleaners back over but not their parents...

@TrashKitten10 That’s so so good to hear, thanks for sharing!! The boys are the same they just won’t tolerate it. It’s not that they can’t do it, they’ll lift their heads - but they quickly tire of it!! They’re only 14 weeks old. They’ve loads of time to figure it all out! I have the HV with their bloody checklists! The boys are always behind if I listen to them!

Hope everyone is okay today! I broke all the rules last night and went and stood in my parents garden, and spoke to BOTH of them at the same time. Shock, horror! It was nice in some respects but crap too; I went on my own once the boys were in bed and I just wanted to go inside for a cuppa! I so, so hope the government see sense soon.

@likethefruit congratulations!! Well done you ❤️

@ELW85 it's the best job!! Thankyou xx

@MrsEG they're gorgeous! Yep started weaning at 5.5 months. He has 3 meals a day now, with a main, something sweeter and some finger food. He usually eats the lot 😂 he hasn't really reduced his milk intake but he goes 4hrs now instead of 3. I don't think you can over feed, if they're hungry they're hungry! I used to worry like mad and my mum used to just say he'll spit up what he doesn't need, because he is a greedy guzzle guts so probably wouldn't stop on his own accord. I still stop and wind half way through a feed so his belly can realise if he is full or still
Hungry. I'm sick of these contradictory rules now!

Evening all!

@MrsEG - we do have the same cushions! I love the photos of the boys; you can totally see their personalities in them
Thank you for the support as always. I’m feeling loads brighter the past day or so, and a lot more confident today. I think it’s just been a much bigger learning curve than I could have legislated for. I hope you’re feeling good? You deserve it!

Hey ladies! Joe has been either full on grinning grinning or being really sad today! Not sure what's going on, but I do know something... He loves being held close, head on my shoulder while I sing Moon River 🎶😊 God bless Andy Williams! I always knew that some day, somewhere, somebody would appreciate my terrible singing 😂

@Fivebyfive2 - that’s adorable!!

Well ladies, hellish night last night. Ended in A&E as Finn screamed the house down after two feeds. You could see him swallowing something after the feed and then screaming.
I feel so helpless and the Gaviscon is doing FA. Docs tried to fob me off with colic; showed them the video and agreed it’s reflux. Also said they wouldn’t treat it unless it got worse as they grow out of it with no long term damage and to take it up with the GP.
The only other medical option is a PPI which basically stops him from making stomach acid but would leave him open to every other disease as he won’t be able to kill germs he ingests.
I just hate seeing him in pain and is so anything to take it away. Apparently it peaks at 4 months so Christ knows what he’ll be like then.
My heart is breaking for him.

@ELW85 What did they do at A&E? Colic is hell-ish. I can’t comment on reflux as the boys don’t have it. But Ruairí had colic and grew out of it at 8 weeks but Conor still has it. I’d say he cries 50% of the time he’s awake if not more; it isn’t even localised to the feeds he just likes to scream. And he’s 14 weeks now so I’m clutching at the 4 month hope he’ll grow out of it as some days I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel! My GP literally just yesterday recommended Coleif and we have some arriving today so I’ll let you know if it’s any good. It really gets better though - Conor at 8 weeks cried all feckin day, at least we’ve made it to 50%. It’s hard seeing them so distressed, I’ve sat on the floor and cried myself so so many times when I just can’t settle Conor at all. Do you have gripe water? That gives us a ‘quick fix’ sometimes. Infacol was useless.

@MrsEG - they made sure he hadn’t aspirated, watched the video and confirmed silent reflux. Said to go to GP for stronger meds if it gets worse but you’re basically talking about stopping his body making acid which has its own risks. And he’s soooo tiny, I don’t wanna start shoving heavy meds down his throat.
The NICE guidelines are they don’t medicate unless he’s projectile vomiting and is distressed, had pneumonia etc.
Thanks for the tip on the gripe water!

I’m so sorry to hear that Conor is still suffering. Does he settle at night?
I’m with you on the crying thing - Monday I just sobbed on DH. Sending you love!