June '07- We are all bump free!!! HOORAY!!

[loonylovegood]

RF, you need to phone your HV or Dr NOW! Explain how you are feeling and they will send someone to see you asap. Please don't carry on feeling like this. I've never had it myself, but from what others have told me it does sound very much like you have PND. Please get help now, don't wait until you really cannot cope. I hope it gets better for you soon.

Redfraggle....first thing to do is try and calm yourself down . I really feel for you, as I was having a hard time last week with DS being too demanding of me whenever I was dealing with Babyboo, but he seems much better this week.

Gosh, don't really know what to say to you, other than you're not alone and we are here for you to vent at.....

Have you been feeling like this for a while? Can you speak to anyone in your RL about it and do you think that this is maybe PND?
Maybe your DH is finding the transition for one to two difficult as well, and if he's tired and not functioning well at work it can be added stress on him too.

Can you get someone to look after your DD for a bit so you can get some rest when DS is sleeping?

RF - have you rung your HV yet? As Holly says, you must get on the phone - you don't have to feel like this.

Have you got someone that can come round to look after DCs while you have a sleep?

Let us know how you get on - thinking of you x

I didn't want to be as firm as Holly there, as having PND myself, I didn't want to force the symptoms onto someone else, but it does sound like you need to talk this over with your HV or doc....

e-mail me if you want to talk things through....daisybump @ yahoo dot co dot uk.

You're not alone with these feelings and there's lots of support on here and in the real world

daisy, I'm going to do it on thursday, DD will be 4 weeks and dh has friday off, so we are going to give it a shot then. She just had really bad wind last night. It means she is unsettled, but also she doesn't feed properly so needs to feed more regularly. I'm also really fed up with her feeding, stopping or falling asleep then crying for more 15 minutes to half hour later.

RF, sorry you are having such a hard time. Holly (loony) is right, call your HV or GP, you shouldn't have to feel like this. I'm sure it won't always be this hard. promise us that if you feel like this again leave the children for 5 mins and come on here. if we are not here you can email me (bumperlicious . mn @ hotmail . co . uk) and I will email my phone number so you can ring me. I'm sure anyone else on here would do the same. It will all be ok, but you need to get some support.

thanks everyone. I can't think of anyone in RL I want to confess this to. I feel such an utter failure.
HV is coming in 30 minutes.

I didn't mean to be so firm, but if you are having self harm thoughts you need to get help asap. Sorry, I don't mean to say you are not coping, we all have moments where we feel we cannot cope, but if you feel you can't come out the other side then you need to speak to someone.

Oh good, RF. Your HV will be able to sit and listen to you, which is probably what you need right now. Hope she is able to help you xx

P.S. RF, you are NOT a failure!

Redfraggle....please tell your HV exactly how you feel, don't think that you need to put on a front for her. I did that for months and it all came out in the end in a very messy fashion.....

Your family and friends will understand. PND is nothing to be ashamed of, it's a hormonal imbalance, nothing more and you have no more control over things than if you had a stomach bug. You're not a failure sweetie....try not to think like that.

Can I try to cheer you up?....if you have sky or cable TV, Fraggle Rock is starting on Boomerang at 8:30 next Monday morning I will be revisiting my misspent adolesence and its a good job it'll be the school hols or DS would be finding his own way to school!!

Let us know how you get on with your HV

you are not a failure! or if you are then we all are too!

You have just had this major thing happen, and you have another DC, you aren't sleeping, have a crying baby - it's sending us all nuts!

also, chances are this is a chemical reaction, it's not a case of coping or not, you don't have a choice. repeat to yourself, you are not a failure!

morning all.
RF - hope your HV was helpful to you. It sounds to me like you need the help of a few professional people at the moment, ie Doctor HV and hopefully your HV will refer you immediately to the CPN (community psychiatric nurse). Don't be scared of this as the CPN's are fab people who deal with things like this every day, they can offer a realistic voice of reason and great support.
Maybe time to think about trying anti-depressants for a while? i also highly recommend a support group and/or counselling.
If you are feeling vulnerable and not coping with the crying - put him down in a safe place and just get some time out, make a cup of tea and chill, he will be OK and crying for a while won't hurt him . If necessary put your hoover on so you can't hear him in order for you to relax. Don't sit on this hoping it will just go away, please take all the help you can get and things will improve for you x

R/F - hope your H/V is helpful. You are not alone in this. We are all having difficulties of one kind or another. You are not failing, just in need of support.

hi tallulah, how's things??

Aaaargggh. DD has ben feeding on & off since 7am this morning with no more than 30min break between. My nips are red raw & I have just cracked & given her a bottle. Within mins she was fast asleep inher carrycot. So now instead of enjoying the p&q & getting myself some lunch, a shower, dressed etc I am sitting here feeling guilty & wondering if have just f*ed up my already problematic milk supply. Aaaaargggh.

Don't feel guilty - she will be fine LOADS of babies never even get any breast milk - you've given her a great start in life to have done it exclusively for this long.
would it really be so bad if you topped up with formula once in a while in order to get some rest??
Remember you've got BOTH of you to look after not just her - maybe getting some rest for a couple of days by introducing a couple of bottles of formula might actually HELP your supply.

Tallulah.....try not to feel so despondent. I gave babyboo some formula on Sat night so I could get a full night's sleep. I'd tried to express but only got a couple of ozs, so DH topped her up. She's still her, I'm still here, and her feeding hasn't been affected, in fact she fed more yesterday, if anything.

Have you tried nipple shields? they'll give your nipples a bit of a break maybe.

Hi Derlor...how's you?

that's DH topped her up with formula....obviously DH couldn't top her up himself. If he could he'd be in the circus, and I'd be rich....and would have a nanny to look after babyboo

Sure you're both right. Am off to have nice bath & soothe the poor boobs with hot flannels.

hv has been, she thinks I am justexhausted. which is definitely true! she is coming back next week and offered me some good tips on coping and a shoulder to cry on. I feel a bit better - will have to see how it goes though...

thanks for all the support - it helps to know i am not alone in this. i have been lurking but too blue to post for a week or so now.
take care
red

glad you're feeling a bit better RF. It's difficult enough with a new baby, never mind a older one as well...then throw in some sleep deprivation and its no wonder we're all a bit frazzled.

Keep talking to us though, and have a chat with your DH and tell him how you feel

Glad you are ok RF and your HV gave you some advice and a shoulder to cry on. It sounds like it helped. Hope you can get some rest and feel better soon x

Daisy have you seen the thread about going to St. Barts and leaving a preemie in scbu? I have never been so !

i haven't holly, but I'm off for a quick peek now.....

hello, i'm back DH hijacked the laptop cause he is looking for a new car me being on here is far more important me thinks but aparantly not!!! - now Holly where's that thread - how was last night Daisy, get much sleep???

am i was following her birth thread as the wee soul was born at 28 weeks.

she is another wohm who is zealous about work even though she now has six children....lots of doubt as to whether she is even real.....it does all seem a bit incredible, waterskiing 2 weeks after giving birth.