November 2017 - rocking and rolling - postnatal thread #1

[Zampa]

Link to old thread - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/3082493-November-2017-5-You-wait-ages-for-a-baby-then-3-come-along-at-once-Ante-post-natal-chat

Looking forward to sharing news of our babies as they reach their first milestones and grow into little people.

I think it does get better with time, and talking helps too. It took me a long time and a lot of talking to get over my experience of breastfeeding my first baby and for a long time I really was adamant that I wouldn't have another. I think it can help to know that if you have another you can use your previous experience to take a bit more control.

@motherhippy16 hope the routine works! We have quite a firm routine for Freddie as he seems to need it. On a good day, if it all works it looks like this:
6am ish wake up
7.30 small bottle (he's never hungry first thing)
8.30-9.30 nap (school run)
10 small amount of solids
11 bottle
11.45-2.15 nap
2.30 bottle (have to squeeze this in before school run)
4.30-5 nap
5.30 porridge and small bottle
7 bottle then asleep, he often takes loads of milk at this time
He then wakes for a bottle at 2,3 or 4am but does occasionally sleep through until 6.

That’s great news @motherhippy! They love a routine don’t they!
@sock let me know how you get on, I think I took that medication after my miscarriages when I was suffering depression/anxiety/migraines, (I tried a couple of different ones) I think it’s meant to be a good all rounder drug! Everyone is different, for me it made me feel weird (kind of flat and zombieish) but if your sleep is suffering you probably feel like that any way! DH didn’t like me on it, it took away my edge and I know what he meant.

Matilda has been back at the doctors again today, still suffering with her cough/cold and (TMI) I noticed her snot smelt a bit weird this morning (so gross). They said it was all fine and her chest is clear. We’ve had awful sleep this week though. DH had to sleep at the bottom of our bed the night before last because every time I put her down she honestly screamed and screamed in a way I have never heard before. I was almost crying myself I’ve never felt so helpless! We both couldn’t console her which never usually happens. Xxx

It is still so very soon after having our babies. My birth story with Matilda I still remember very clearly and DH and I talk about it almost daily still. It’s probably the most important thing we have ever done and ever will do, so I’m not surprised it has stuck in our minds. Be kind to yourself. There’s no rush to decide if you want more.
My best friend almost lost her son in December 2016 (on my birthday!) to strep b. They tried to send her home but she insisted he wasn’t moving so they scanned her and took her straight for a c section. When he came out they spent 9 minutes resuscitating him. He is the loveliest little 1 and a nearly half year old now, but my friend said for so long she categorically could not go through that again and she would not have more. The other day, out of the blue, she told me they are going to try for number 2 at the end of this year. Time really is a healer I think with these things, and no 2 births have to be the same. Xx

@buttery Matilda has had the sorest neck, I think where she is sick so often and absolutely hates me wiping it, it just gets worse and worse! So I’ve been using a tube of sudocrem which I think must’ve been watered down. The first two pics are from yesterday morning. The third pic is from today. I got a big tub of sudocrem I think it is a thicker consistency and just plastered it on her neck all day. By this morning it was almost gone! Hope that helps Freddie? X

@Hazandduck ouch that poor neck looks so sore! I've been up since 4:30am after rubbish night and Liliana has been fast asleep! I think I'm just going to give up! I was on citalopram when I was younger for depression and it made me quite flat and zombie like but I wonder if it (or similar) would help me sleep.

@Hazandduck I've had one night of good sleep on the medication and last night was my usual rubbish sleep. I'm going to try it a bit longer to see what happens. I've taken sertraline and citalopram in the past and they made me feel flat so I hope this one doesn't do the same.

Motherhood this morning is having Bea vomit down my top then her giggling. As I giggled back with her, I thought to myself that there is no way on earth I would have that reaction with anyone else.

What's everyone up to this weekend?

Haha that is so true about the sick thing @sock!
Matilda’s sleep was broken again last night. In the end I really snapped at DH because I’ve been doing all the wake ups this week, and he’d been asleep since 10 and hadn’t heard her cry once! I finally managed to drop off at just before 3 and she was awake again at half 5. I went back to sleep until about 9 and it was bliss.

My dad is very sweet but I wanted to lump him one today. On a Saturday morning he often will go to our local Lidl’s bakery and do deliveries of pain au chocolat, croissants etc, to me and my siblings who all live around this village, we call him Father Croissant or Père No-chocolat lol. Any way he knocked the door with my pastries this morn and I said how tired we were and he said “but you’ve got a year off!” Hmm the father of four children lol, he’s an amazing dad but it’s safe to say my mum did all the night shifts with us when we were tiny! Xx

I've been to my friends baby shower, the mums amongst us agreed there is a reason that women don't tell mums to be the gory details of labour but actually I wish someone had!

I know what you mean @lydia, although I remember some people almost seeming to try and put the fear of god in to me! I think the best thing for me was all the practical advice such as what to pack etc, the worst was the people telling me they almost died!

I took Matilda out for brunch with the girls and we had the most gorgeous Spanish waiter who was just cooing over her, had all of us all aflutter 😂😍 There’s something about a man who is good with babies! X

Hi all.... poor Matilda with her neck.... hopefully it will clear up soon. First 2 days went really well and it's just fallen apart this weekend. He barely slept Friday and sat night even though we had the same routine. He had 20 mins this morning even though I got him down exactly 1.30 hr after he woke up. He is so over tired he just cries and cries and I can't do a thing with him. I don't know what to do. Gave up and took him in the car to try and get him to sleep and my oil light came on so yes only had another 20 mins. It's affecting my bonding with him as I'm so exhausted all the time and everything revolves around trying to get him to sleep. I know it's all my fault and I just feel like the worst mum in the world. Sorry but I don't have anyone else to talk to

@Motherhippy16 firstly a big big big hug for you. There is nothing worse than sleep deprivation. I have found it has got a bit better as Bea gets bigger. I think Bea has two months on E? I felt exactly the same as you a few weeks ago, I thought I was going insane.

It took me a while to recognise Beas cues for her being tired. She rubs her eyes, stares in to space and generally goes quiet. Now I know these signs I put her down for a nap and most of the time she will settle down.

Do you go to any baby groups? We have made a couple of friends at one of ours and this saved my sanity, we go for a coffee/ play date once a week and I find it so helpful to talk to an adult human.

Oh @motherhippy like @sock says big hugs to you, sleep deprivation is an absolute killer! You are not to blame and you are an amazing Mum. Vent away to us! DH and I have just had a row because Matilda has started waking up for 2 hours at a time in the middle of the night and I just find myself snapping at him because he gets to sleep from 10 until 6.30 without interruption but I don’t.

You think you’ve cracked a routine and then your baby throws you another curveball but it is nothing you’ve done.

Please keep venting with us we are all here for you, it is so so hard to not lose your shit when it’s like this but you are doing amazingly xxx

@motherhippy not sure where you are in the country, I am Hampshire based if you are anywhere near me and ever wanted to arrange a real life meet up for coffee and someone to talk to. X

Oh @motherhippy16 it is absolutely not your fault, some babies just don't nap well. Is there a way he will nap - on you, sling, out for a walk in the pushchair? If so, can you just go with that - line of least resistance? It's horrible when they get overtired.

@hazandduck funny you should say that about sudocrem as I'd noticed that the stuff in the tube is different (not as good) as the stuff in the tub. I've been putting some diprobase on which is helping but I have to put it on really regularly. Might pop into a chemist today and ask the pharmacist for some advice as it does look quite sore.

@motherhippy16 Do you co-sleep? Would you try it? It's the only thing that works for me and DD2. Otherwise I get no sleep. In fact, I've got both DDs in with me at the moment due to DP's work.

DD2 gets a sore neck too @hazandduck. All that milk and saliva gets stuck in her neck folds regardless of how much I clean it up!

She's also started moving! A kind of caterpillar creep forward - bum in the air and then hauls herself along with her forearms. Very slow and a lot of effort but she's off at only 24 weeks old!

@Motherhippy16 I've only ever been able to get L to sleep in car or pram, or at night by feeding her to sleep. Recently all of these have stopped working and she is so unsettled at night. I'm nearly breaking and so snappy with everyone around me I feel really bad but it's so hard. Big hugs. I just want my baby to sleep more than 2.5-3 hrs at a time! She is six months today!

Oh @lydiangel83 I feel your pain! Last night was up every 2 hours again and I eventually gave in and had him sleep in my arms from 3.30 till 6! I can't parent if I'm exhausted all day. It does make me laugh when people say 'take care of yourself first.... well yes... but if your baby doesn't sleep and you have to get things done in the house and go out with them then yourself comes last sometimes!
We used to go sleep but he was waking every hour and a half for a feed so I think the distance from the smell of my milk is helping him to settle a bit more. He went 3 hours without a nap yesterday afternoon and couldn't settle at all. Much love to all x x x x

@Motherhippy16 big love xx

Those of you weaning - how much did your lo actually eat to start off with? DD2 has rejected baby rice and baby porridge but we have had some success with puréed apple and pear. However, she is only eating about half an ice cube's worth.

She's only 23 weeks so it might be in the weeks running up to the 6 month mark we get some traction!

@zampa tiny bits at the start. After about 2 weeks he seemed to suddenly click and move the food around properly in his mouth. We just started by giving him tastes of things and we've not yet reduced milk. He's now having about a tablespoon twice a day - still sticking to fruit, veg, baby rice until 6 months (which is on Monday) although he does also love finger foods and may have nommed a chip or two when I went out for lunch the other day!

Ah @lydia such gorgeous photos! How are our little ones getting to six months already?!
Matilda in the last couple of days has become obsessed with food and will grab at anything you are eating, or grab off your plate so we are having to be careful. She tried a bit of my blueberry muffin at Costa today because she just wouldn’t stop reaching for it! I’m thinking I may have to start introducing a lunch for her. At the moment she has milk all day and then a dinner with us at the table of 3 ice cubes of puréed veg (mix and match usually) and then a pudding after of either rusk mashed in my milk, or a little fruit custard pot, or maybe half a mashed banana. She eats everything we offer her! It’s mad. The only thing she wouldn’t eat was some boiled carrot sticks I did for her the other day, because I don’t think she quite gets the feeding herself thing yet. She does feed herself with the spoon though and loves gnawing at it, I think because she is teething too. It’s difficult to know how much is right isn’t it? I’m just letting her guide me really and gradually introducing little bits here and there x
Hope everyone has a lovely bank holiday weekend 😄😎 x

That's good to know @butterybollocks - thanks. She's trying the fruit and veg we're giving here so think maybe she just didn't like the rice/porridge.

Matilda sounds like an amazing eater @hazandduck. My lo does reach out for food but she reaches out for everything! It's scary that she's on the move already and I need to be more careful about leaving her in places.

How's everyone enjoying the sun? Iris hates bright sunlight which is making car journeys interesting even with the sunshade up. She won't wear her baby shades either so I end up standing at funny angles to block the sun. Im sending DP into the loft tonight to find the parasol for the pushchair.

Well we started baby led weaning when we were away at the weekend & she really wasn't that interested. I've tried her again tonight in her high chair & still not interested. Just going to keep persevering. DS was the complete opposite & as soon as he started on solids he didn't stop eating, he was on 3 meals a day within a week.

I don't know if it's the heat but iris has started waking up at 4 & not really going back down again. I tried moving her bedtime later to see if she would sleep longer, no chance, she was just overtired & grumpy the next day.

We've loved the weather over the past few days - lots of lying on the picnic blanket in the shade watching the trees. We moved Freddie to his own room over the weekend which has gone OK - we're also getting some early wake ups @topsyloulou but we're trying an earlier bedtime (for him and me!!). He is loving food and I'm having to work quite hard to get milk in him as all he wants is solids. He's having 3 meals today. He's also getting mobile... Uh oh.
Hope everyone is well and has enjoyed the good weather.

Anyone else struggling with day sleeps or is it just me? Only way I can get Liliana to sleep is. Car or pram or sling!