October 2017: Babies are here!

[Nessalina]

There's been a flurry of new arrivals on the October thread, so here's somewhere for us to share the excitement and terror of our newborns!!

Sorry to hear that lots of you are struggling with breastfeeding, it is tough. I’d second the recommendation to go to a breastfeeding group or consultant. I went to a group with DD and as well as being very helpful, it was lovely to meet other breastfeeding mums and have a shared whinge!

I’m having some trouble with wee leaks from DS’s nappy. He keeps waking up with a wet back. Not having had a boy before I wondered if I need to do something different when nappy changing? Also any tips on the best way to stop him weeing all over the place mid nappy change?

pingu the weeing mid nappy change is annoying! Ds did it all the time and dd has done it a few times too. For ds I used to keep a pile of old cloths/muslins by the mat and put one over him as soon as the nappy came off. Stops the pee spraying everywhere at least and can soak it up before it runs down the mat to his clothes, hopefully saving you needing to do a full outfit change! They do eventually grow out of it. Not sure about leaks, think it's the same as girls- leg cuffs out, back of nappy folded in (though this never made a difference to me). Make sure willy is pointing down. Try a +absorbency nappy if they do them in newborn sizes. Or some different makes in case it's just the fit that's a problem.

I'm so tired! Trying to persevere with breastfeeding but it's hard. Dd was on the breast from 8-11.30 last night and I bled even with nipple shields. All it seemed to achieve was a very windy unhappy baby so eventually gave her 30ml of formula and she slept for a few hours. I know top ups aren't the done thing but I'm so sore from my section that I don't have the stamina for all night cluster feeding.

Thanks lion. Might try that make as the medela ones I have that the midwife recommended aren't stopping the pain or the bleeding. They also keep slipping off and I think they're making dd very windy as they don't seal properly around the breast so I think she might be sucking in air as she feeds. She also constantly has hiccups while feeding and makes a wheezy sound?

Just wanted to say @TippetyTapWriter the lactation consultant who came to see us this morning had words of wisdom with top ups (and breastfeeding in general)- there is no right or wrong; it's whatever works for you. There's no shame or judgement in using top ups if you need to- you're just doing the best job as a mummy of making sure your baby is fed, which is all they want 😊 It's definitely not easy- sometimes I can get Thorin latched and he stays on and feeds well, other times it feels like a bit of a battle (I can hear him stirring as I type this and I swear my nipples just twinged with mild anticipatory dread as to whether this feed will be easy or not!!) 🙈🙈 I also hear you on the tiredness front, I didn't know it was possible to feel this tired and equally permanently hungry!

Oh the tiredness is just mind numbing. DS seems to be awake midnight to 5am cluster feeding and then DD wakes up at 7am. Their sleeping times currently have no overlap! I don’t know how I’m managing to hold a conversation with visitors, I think I’m probably repeating myself a lot and talking nonsense as my head feels full of cotton wool.

You just need to do what you can to get through the first few weeks @TippetyTapWriter and don’t feel bad about it. Thanks for the tips about nappies, we just had another leak and I think his willy is working it’s way to point upwards, plus the top of the nappy is folded down below his umbilical stump so not absorbing it. Hoping it will improve when the cord stump falls off.

Ooo @PingusMistress, was Lewis born on the 22nd? If so he and Thorin are Birthday buddies! 😊

@mummabubs I just checked your previous post and they were born 6 minutes apart! 5.02 and 5.08! And my daughter has a Tolkien related name too.

No way @PingusMistress, what are the odds?!

@TippetyTapWriter no shame in top ups! You’re doing everything you can to keep your lo fed and happy and if that includes a bit of help from formula then so be it. There feels like there’s so much to beat ourselves up about as mums,I know I’ve been doing it. Everyday I try and think of something I did for Dex that I was proud of or think of a positive from the day. Today he didn’t projectile vomit on me- win! He did shit all over me but let’s pretend that didn’t happen

How often is everyone else up in the night? Dex usually feeds at midnight, 3, 6 and 9 then we wake up properly at around 10ish. Also does everyone else change their baby after each feed? I skipped one last night and then by the next feed his nappy was so full and I of course felt like a terrible mum. he hates being changed and cries or gristles all the way through so I thought I’d spare us both the pain for one feed.

@GimbleInTheWabe we haven’t really established a night feed pattern yet beyond “pretty constant”! In the day, I put DS in his crib after a feed and he goes to sleep. At night, I do the same and he wakes up and asks for more. We went to bed at 8pm tonight and I still haven’t been to sleep yet. So tired I could cry. So changing is a bit random too, it depends on whether I heard him poo and how awake he is. I’ve probably left it too long too occasionally.

Thanks everyone. Ds was ff so I'm not anti it, to be honest it's hard to keep trying to breastfeed when I know a bottle would settle dd in two minutes whereas bf is currently a two hour battle which ends up with us normally both in tears! But... I do believe breast milk is beneficial and if I have to spend another year of my life sterilising bottles I'll scream!

Still not convinced I have much milk, or as much as she wants. She had an hour on each this evening, then screamed in hunger. Drank 60ml of formula like she'd never been fed before, but was still hungry so went back on me for another 20 mins until she finally fell asleep!

No routine here for us either. We've been trying to go to bed as soon as ds is asleep around 7-8. Dd is normally asleep after a big feed before dinner but wakes up when we put her in her cot in our room! She then feeds for 5 mins, falls asleep, wakes up as soon as she goes in her cot. Repeat for 2-3hrs until we give up and give her a bottle of formula, then dh tries to rock her to sleep. She might sleep for an hour or two, then it starts again!

I only change nappy at night if she's done a poo. No problems with wee leaks. Hers are never very wet. Which again makes me worry I'm not producing enough milk for her!

Girls I can't thank you enough right now. Had a couple of difficult feeds with Lydia and that combined with a little bit of the baby blues has her screaming and me bawling my eyes out and my poor DH not knowing who to comfort first.

One of the HCAs at the hospital suggested a formula top up (so thankful for her honesty and not just pushibg breast is best) but my nipples are sometimes so sore I dread feeding her. We ordered some shields with our online shop so I hope that gives me a chance to recover. I think its just practise getting it right but the midwife at home yesterday moved what I thought was a good latch and it was so much easier. I know that was helpful but now its just got me questioning whether I can actually recognise a good latch or not!

Does anyone know where the Sept 2017 board is? Congrats all!

Sympathies bobbiepin, I've been there! Still am really! I posted about it in feeding area, maybe some of the advice I got would help too: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/3070843-Close-to-giving-up

I persevered with the shields and lansinoh and it has got better though normally still painful. But last night was the first night where I had an ok feeling feed from each side. Not sure what changed. Possibly combination of engorgement going down so dd could latch more easily and her being very sleepy when I put her on, so she went on more instinctively rather than me fighting to put her on. She's just woken up, so we'll see what happens this time....

I also found this useful www.bestforbabes.org/the-latest-on-latching/app

I'm not sure SK. If one hasn't been made maybe you could make one? Are people still using the antenatal topic or perhaps Facebook?

Hello chaps

Have finally got my ass in gear and thought I’d pop over and say hi!

We are having a bit of a time of it with the feeding; trying in vain to get DS to feed on some degree of a schedule and from the boob....his latch is improving every day but without expressing I can’t tell what he’s getting and I’m starting to feel depressed with being on what feels like a 2 hourly schedule and with the mammoth cluster feed striking at 11pm.

I am still trying to get over the upset of him being admitted to hospital, lumbar punctured, cannula’d, the full works and I can’t get a minute to myself as my DH is fussing round, my DD is being very “toddler” today and my MIL is round too.

My mum is on duty as of tomorrow as she’s as maternal as a plank of wood. I only need her here for lifting DD as I can’t because of the CS... and I have a feeling my scar is infected now too.

Ach, I’m a bit blue today. It’s not a patch on what I was like after DD - that I know was PND taking grip fast - but I feel so powerless, weak, tired and scared between not being able to be “normal” cos of the CS and having to rely on others. I just want to be left alone in one way but so need the help in another!

DH back to work tomorrow. Happy about it on one hand but dreading it too...

@TheLegendOfBeans I can really empathise with getting over hospitalisation as we had the same with Dexter. It’s two weeks on and I feel a lot better about it now and don’t have the paranoia that every sniffle is going to get us admitted again. So I guess I’m trying to say: it gets easier and you stop googling ‘what should a newborns stomach look like’ at 3am. Sorry if I sound patronising as i have no idea what I’m doing really! but I just know that the week after we got back from hospital I cried every time he vomited as I was so worried but now I feel a lot less anxious about it.

Are you still having the mw come round? Def reach out for support with bfing as it’ll be so worth it.

Hi All
Is anyone else just formula feeding? If so what bottles are you using. I've tried bf for a few weeks but he constantly hungry & it was exhausting. Using sma at the moment with tommee tippee bottles but he seems quite gassy & full of wind & isn't doing a pooh as often. I'm so exhausted barely finding time to eat how's everyone else coping & when will this phase pass lol. LO be 4 weeks on Wednesday xx

I'm still googling everything second time round! Remember taking ds to a&e convinced he was having breathing problems again to be told, no, that's just what breathing looks like. It'll get better. It's so much easier once they're older and sturdier.

I ff first time round butterfly. We used aptamil mostly because that's what they started ds on in hospital. We had terrible wind problems too and used dr brown's bottles which are supposed to help. Also used infacol. Not sure it helped much. To be honest time is the main thing. Once they get to 4 months their stomachs start working much better. Looks like dd is also having problems with wind and reflux despite being mostly bf so my guilt at the bottles giving ds wind was unnecessary!

We're having a bad night here. Been trying to get dd to sleep since 8... she falls asleep on me but wakes the minute I put her down. I'm so tired! Keep falling asleep with her on my chest which is so dangerous

We played that game between 2:30-5:30 this morning @TippetyTapWriter - "are you done feeding? Yes, great!" Then followed by immediate squeaking as soon as I put him in the crib 😩 it will get easier right?

I hope so! It's getting a bit ridiculous. She's been feeding now almost constantly since yesterday evening except one hour last night that she actually slept in her Moses basket and a couple of naps today on my chest. I can't run on 1 hr sleep! If she's not feeding she's crying so I don't know what else to do but stick her back on. She doesn't seem to have an awake and happy mode?!

Are you supposed to fold in the flap at the back of nappies? Dex has leaked wee uo his back a good few times now! We’re using the Naty nappies if that makes a difference. Mum fail.

Apparently you are but I never do. I found naty really leaky unfortunately and had to switch to a less environmentally friendly brand!

Hmm yeah I had heard whispers of them being leaky @TippetyTapWriter and actually they have been a bit. Will give the folding a go.. as if changing nappies wasn’t already fiddly enough. Does anyone else with a DS have to wait for the freedom pee when they take off the nappy? It especially tedious at night staring & waiting for the pee to flow ha.

Have you managed a nap today @TippetyTapWriter?

Our boy hasn't wee'd on us whilst changing yet... yet being the word I fear!! He's the same as your dd @TippetyTapWriter, seems to only come in hungry or sleep mode, no in between 🙈 Today his afternoon feeds have only been 20 mins each so I'm paranoid that he's not getting enough, but I have done the trick of changing him and then trying him on boob again but even if he initially roots as soon as he's latched he just wants to sleep?! Can't believe I actually had days when I thought that being 2 weeks overdue couldn't possibly be less stressful than having a newborn... or do I mean more? My brain literally can't work it out but I mean before baby was worse than after 🙈😂😂

Had an hour nap this afternoon (best hour of my life). So 2 hrs sleep in 24hrs. That's totally fine right?

I think with ds I got into the habit of using naty in day when i was changing him every few hours and pampers at night or if going out for the day. Bit faffy in hindsight but he was my pfb!