October 2017: Babies are here!

[Nessalina]

There's been a flurry of new arrivals on the October thread, so here's somewhere for us to share the excitement and terror of our newborns!!

Thanks for the love and support everyone, touch wood my mastitis has nearly cleared up and the cold is slowly going too. I can't remember what being healthy feels like anymore 🙈

Oh @boxesoffrogs, you and I seem to be having very similar recovery journeys. Mastitis is horrendous, utmost empathy for you. I'd say the antibiotics made my fever go by around day 3, massage the blocked breast under a hot shower (it will hurt like a bitch but will help to eventually clear it) and encourage DD to feed on the affected breast (again, this will also hurt like a bitch but will help). Stay hydrated as you'll feel a million times worse if you don't (I learnt this the hard way!) and take paracetamol as often as you can for the pain. I've found sleeping on my back or the opposite side to bad boob helped too. I know it feels horrendous now but I'm on day 6 of antibiotics and feel so much better, I'd say from day 3 onwards my fever went and pain started to reduce.

I also remember you saying the poop situation was less than ideal (we had the same birth intervention so I also know the morbid poo fear!) and for what it's worth 3 weeks post birth I'm finally no longer terrified or completely constipated. It will get better, even though it might not seem like it now! Xx

Hi everyone, I’ve been watching these threads with interest throughout late pregnancy and now babies are here. Hope ok for me to gatecrash! Thanks for all posting your struggles, it’s helping (although I’m sorry to hear of the problems) to know I’m not the only one not finding this plain sailing. I’m a FTM and I honestly had no idea it would be this tough. Breastfeeding is so unbelievably difficult, keeping baby full and attempting to catch a very very small amount of sleep is driving me to the point of insanity. I am crying every day at the moment (I wasn’t for the first 2-3 weeks, either things have got harder or the lack of sleep is seriously catching up). My baby is 4 weeks today. I just want 2, maybe 3 hours of restful sleep (is 4 asking too much?!) I catch an hour here and there at the moment. Will keep reading your posts with interest and hope that things get easier and brighter for you all and me! 🌷🌞

@boxes sorry you're in pain hun, the only suggestion I can give is a warm flannel in the bath/shower and massage like mummabubs said. Maybe ask the Dr for dihydrocodiene, I had it after labour, its safe when bf but is stronger than paracetamol. Stock up on the chocolate too.

Really hope everyone has a gentle night. DD is being a super pain tonight and its getting to both of us. This kid is like a conveyer belt, food goes in, food goes out...

Thanks tippety, And bobbie, I will give the flannel and massage a go...

mummabubs, yes we seem to have had a similar experience, lucky us eh? I spent all day shivering and shaking on the sofa yesterday, luckily Doctor was able to prescribe the antibios over the phone so I didn't have to drag myself out... the poo fear is still real! Just drank half a bottle of prune juice in preparation for an attempt after my bath! Ha, anyone else find they have become a complete over sharer after birth? I literally have no dignity anymore! Keep waking up drenched in sweat, as in soaked through... which is fun. Hope you are feeling better. Have your stitches healed? One of mine fell out last week, which was a horrifying discovery on my pad, genuinely thought it was a giant worm, just to add to my worries, before I figured out what it actually was!
It's not all doom and gloom, my little tiddler has put on 10oz in the last week, so I must be doing something right?
Hope everyone had a good night...

Have now started to cosleep as DD is now not settling well in bedside cot. Not really happy about it but have got loads more sleep although don't think she's feeding as much at night because of it.

Anyone finding their babies a lot more alert now? DD has been awake since 1pm apart from a 10 min pram stint and refuses to sleep, just screaming unless she has a boob in her mouth (but not feeding). I long for those early sleepy days when I could just put her down and she'd sleep!

Don’t feel bad about co-sleeping sophiegiroux. As long as you follow the guidance about doing it safely it is a very natural thing to do. I co-slept with DS tonight as he was screaming with trapped wind every time in his cot, he has slept so well I had to wake him for a feed just now as my boobs felt like they were going to explode!

Thanks @PingusMistress, glad it's not just me. They do seem to sleep so much better when close to you. I do worry she's going to suffocate though when I fall asleep side feeding.

I worry more when he is in bed with me too, I sleep more lightly as I keep waking to check he is still breathing!

Are any of you using sleeping bags instead of blankets yet? Gro-bags say minimum weight of 8lbs 8oz, but I have some other (cheaper) brands that don’t specify a minimum. I’m a bit confused about whether I can use them yet.

Tempted to try cosleeping but I toss and turn all night so I don't think it'll work that well! Dd's actually not too bad at sleeping in her Moses basket so long as she's well asleep and full of milk when she goes in. Mind you, ds was the same but was then a nightmare sleeper for the next 2 years so I hope history isn't going to repeat itself!

Still using a cellular blanket here, mainly because it's easier at the moment with frequent nappy changes. And dd possets a lot and I've only got one gro bag so none spare if it gets wet.

Had my first (and hopefully last) embarrassing leakage moment yesterday. Boobs have never been leaky before so I haven't been bothering with breast pads. So of course yesterday when sil and bil were visiting and I was wearing a light grey top would be the first time my boobs decided to leak. And I didn't even notice for ages unlike dh who didn't say anything because 'he thought I knew', ffs!!

The company who make the grobag sleeping bags also make something called a grosnug. Its is for newborns from 5lbs to 12lbs. We have two of these and have been using them since birth. They are great.

Are any of you ladies members of the Facebook group for October 2017 babies? If so, how do I join?

iemma321q if you message me with your email address I think I can send you an invite for the Facebook group x

Has anyone else’s LO had their 8 week jabs yet?! We had ours today and DD has either been sleeping or screaming ... I hate seeing her like this 😥 plus she is breathing really quickly ... I’m starting to worry.

Not had them for dd yet. Ds cried for ten minutes after his but seemed fine. He had a slight temperature after the second lot. How's your dd's temperature? Maybe phone your gp or hv if worried. I think the new men b jab can sting a bit but ds never had it so I'm not sure how it might affect a lo. Hope she feels better soon x

Girls, how are you coping? DD was pretty awake today, we went for a long walk (45 mins) but other than that it was feeding, nappies and some cuddles/play time (as much as is possible with a 4 week old). I managed to put 2 washes on, but not hang them up and eat lunch but she didn't nap all day until about an hour before DH got home.

Anyway, he gets home & tidied the kitchen and takes the washing upstairs. All I want him to do is take DD so I can clear up but he does it. It sounds so stupid but I got upset about it. I believe him when he says he knows I've not had time and he's doing it so it's done not passive aggressively but it's still really got to me. Am I mental or is there some hormonal spike I dont know about and can blame my crazy on??

@Bobbiepin I totally know what you mean. Some evening I’ve found myself wanting to go in to the kitchen and do a good clean up. I love my DS so much and cherish all the cuddles that this age brings but it’s also so nice to go and feel normal and not like a walking boob for 20 minutes. And cleaning the kitchen makes me feel normal.
So I get it that it was probably a bit annoying that you wanted to sort the clothes and he did it and I think it’s totally normal that this made you cry. I’m pretty sure our hormonal levels aren’t back to usual until 6 months or something!

Thanks @gimble that's reassuring. I was stuck under her as she'd woken up any other time she'd drifted off and I think I wanted to feel useful. She'd not slept all day and I was shatteted. Typical that she's asleep now when the in laws are due over and more people after that. She's asleep, I want to be asleep! No idea what I'm going to do when she's older and I have to entertain her all day.

@Bobbiepin I totally get that feeling too. I would practically throw DD at DH the moment he came through the door from work, just so I could have half an hour baby-free to do all the house things that had been bugging me all day! It's a bit different this time as he now WFH part time. But as much as we love our babies, looking after them 24/7 is tiring, stressful, repetitive and often boring. We all need a little break from it sometimes.

I've gone dairy-free this week to see if it helps DS with his tummy discomfort. I think it might be helping a bit, but not being able to eat most cakes/biscuits/chocolate is really hard!

He has bad nappy rash too. I've tried metanium and bepanthen and switched from wipes to cloth and water only. Any other tips or ideas to improve things?

Thank you @pingusmistress I did stop and think to myself that there is something wrong with me that I got upset at my husband tidying the kitchen!

I think with the nappy rash you just need to give it time and change nappies as quickly as possible. What you're doing sounds spot on.

How many people here have more than one DC? How long before it starts getting easier? Had a blocked duct tonight (absolute agony) and DD is still awake. I know I'm tired and hormonal etc but I'm seriously struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm so glad it's the weekend and DH is off work so I can sleep tomorrow. I get the feeling I won't sleep much tonight.

Nappy off time too to help with the rash. If it's really bad and persistent might be thrush/fungal. You could try changing nappy brand too. But hopefully it'll clear up soon. Ds had some awful chemical burn nappy rashes and I was never sure if it was something he ate or an allergic reaction. I washed him with just cotton wool and water, kept his nappy off as much as possible and applied loads of sudocrem before putting the next nappy on too.

I totally understand the urge to pass the baby over and do housework! We need the mental and physical break. And the sense of actually achieving something!

I had a blocked duct too bobbie. It was so painful! Feeding and massaging in the shower helped.

Hmm, trying to remember when it got easier... I think it's a gradual thing. Their digestion improves and they get less colic and reflux, they start going longer between feeds, and feeding at more predictable times so it's easier to get out and about, you get better at reading them and figuring out what they need. If you're lucky they start sleeping better at night! It is still tiring though but it becomes the new normal and they start getting more fun too, laughing, smiling, playing with toys. It's definitely easier the older they get, once they can sit up and go in a high chair and don't need holding all the time. Once they start eating and can be distracted with snacks and you can go out and have a nice coffee and cake together! Or this is how I found it anyway. I love the toddler stage and found the newborn bit gruelling. Other people find the opposite. But the lack of sleep in the early days is a killer for everyone. It definitely all gets better once you start getting a few hours sleep in a row at night!

And remember it's still so early! Dd is only 1 month old. We're still recovering from pregnancy and birth. Don't think the weather is helping either. Ds was a spring baby and that was loads better, could go out for walks and sit in the park etc.

Thanks for the nappy rash tips. I hadn't heard of fungal nappy rash before but I think it could be that, as he had a bit of oral thrush when he was a few days old. It looks like a milder version the google image pics (which are horrific!)

How do you do nappy off time without everyone and everything getting covered in pee and poo?

From what I remember with DD, it got a lot easier and I started to enjoy being a mum at around three months. The first two weeks are a total blur. I was a zombie due to lack of sleep for the first six weeks. Then I either started getting used to no sleep, or DD slept a bit better, plus I joined a couple of classes and started getting out of the house more. The first few weeks were such a culture shock though, mentally and physically. Give yourself time to adjust. I promise it does get easier!

PingusMistress we managed some nappy off time by putting her on one of the disposable maternity mats I bought to protect the bed/car etc... when my waters broke. I think I've heard that puppy toilet training pads work too (and also handy as changing mats when out and about!)

I used to try and do nappy off time after they'd just done a big poo so I could guess one might not be coming for a while! Just laid on an old towel on their changing mat. Or I'd give a few minutes after every nappy change to let the skin air dry a bit (lay them on the new nappy but don't do it up). Hope it clears up soon x

@PingusMistress you can try canesten cream if it is a fungal nappy rash

Thanks @SophieGiroux , I just looked that up and will be making a trip to Boots tomorrow!

I think I may have gone a bit overboard with Christmas presents for older DD. It's a combination of feeling guilty that I'm neglecting her due to new baby, plus being stuck under new baby for hours with only internet browsing to do.

I don't know what presents to get for baby though, we've bought him everything he needs. It hardly seems worth wrapping his presents either as he won't know! What are you getting your babies for Christmas?