October 2017: Babies are here!

[Nessalina]

There's been a flurry of new arrivals on the October thread, so here's somewhere for us to share the excitement and terror of our newborns!!

@pingu, I developed nappy rash in the early days when wearing pads constantly. I was wearing Asda own brand ones (which are similar to always). I switched to body form as they are more breathable (like cotton) and it went away.

Also, don't worry about the cold. I had one when Evie was born, she caught it at 5 days old but a bit of nasal saline and lots of cuddles and she was fine. You can only really take paracetamol yourself tho. Decongestants such as sudafed are a no no.

@legend that made me laugh hard enough to bounce dd around on my boob! Credit to the kid for managing to stay on!

Oh my good god. DS has now been attached to my boobs pretty much non-stop for 5 HOURS. Does anyone else's newborns do this some feeds? I know it partly depends on the quality of latch but I really felt we had some good latches there yet he doesn't seem to be satiated at all. 😩 I'm nearly at the end of my wits, I've got one feeds worth of expressed milk but we try and save that for the first early morning feed so that DH and I can take the night feeds in shifts- I can see me just pouring it down him now though to try and send him to sleep. 😔 Never been more tempted to just formula feed in my life, feels rubbish but breastfeeding when he's like this is just relentless. (Sorry, moan over!)

Thanks for the advice @doomkittycleo . I’ll try switching to different pads and see if that helps. I’ve been wearing skirts instead of jeans for a couple of days which has improved things a bit.

I asked the midwife about cold remedies today and she said anything over the counter is fine, but NHS website says paracetamol only. Best to be on the safe side I think.

The health visitor came today, we really didn’t like her! She was very old school and could talk the hind legs off a donkey. Couldn’t wait for her to leave.

@pingu, that's s shame about your health visitor, mine is lovely. So much so that I've asked for several "listening visits" so I can just talk things through when I need to.

@mumma, I've had some nights like that with Evie, how old is he? Could he be cluster feeding due to a growth spurt?

Hi all
So pleased someone started this thread. Haven't posted so far but have been reading everyone's messages. My little girl was born on the 8th and we already have a boy who is 2. I really struggled with breastfeeding last time and this time round it seemed to start off ok. However the last few days have deteriorated and although she feeds well on my left side it's awful on the right. My nipple is getting sore and cracked and I don't know why. Have just been watching you tube videos on the flipple technique. Anyone else use it? To be honest I'm close to giving up its so sore!!!

@doomkittycleo maybe, he's 11 days old. Is that growth spurt time?!

@iemma321q welcome! Do you have a breastfeed clinic near you? (Run through the NHS in our area). They've been invaluable to me in terms of teaching me how to get a good latch, which I don't always achieve but they're really positive and supportive. (I'm the same, DS latches easily onto the left but not on the right, due to my nipple sizes and me being right handed so it's easier to manoeuvre left side).

@iemma I've taken to adjusting DD's latch once she's on. I couldn't keep taking her off and putting her back on, far too painful. I wait until she's sucking then pull her chin down a bit. It takes a couple of attempts but it pulls her bottom lip down and she gets a better latch. The breastfeeding support woman I saw said that was ok if it helped, and over the last week she has been getting better at latching on her own so maybe its teaching her something?

Midwife weighed Zoe again today at 10 days old and she's lost more weight - 9% now Been to the breastfeeding clinic and it seems like possibly a double whammy of me having low supply and baby having tongue tie. Been told to give formula top ups more regularly ( after every feed), pump every 2 hrs and might have to get something prescribed to increase production! We've also got an appointment at tongue tie clinic to get it assessed and maybe snipped. Hopefully that will solve a lot of the problems. Feeling a bit worn down by it now. All those hours of painful feeding and seems baby wasn't even taking on milk.

How's everyone doing? Seems breastfeeding is tough for most of us. Amazing the human race survived so long! Really there's nothing easy about making and growing new people!!

Reading this thread with interest plus I’m on a What’s App group with some mums who also had October babies and bfing is causing lots of grief.

My experience with DD was hard; she lost 14% of her birth weight, she had a vicious tongue tie that grew back after it was snipped at day 7 as nobody believed that she had TT and midwife/HV kept telling me to persevere even though her tongue was literally fused to the base of her mouth.

A bad tongue tie left untreated meant DD could not latch. Advice to persevere at all costs led to me DEFINITELY getting depressed plus her bad latch meant my nipples cracked, infection got in, I ended up with thrush as did she.

At day 21 i shouted for a lactation consultant who confirmed DDs tongue tie had returned. By this time I was going mad expressing a swiftly falling supply and breaking my heart about the need to supplement with formula.

Day 22 I made the decision to pack it all in and we went to formula 100%.

Within 48 hours I was a woman transformed, DD was piling on the weight, sleeping better and I felt a huge weight lift.

This time I’ve got a baby with no tongue tie and the change is unbelievable. I now know what bfing should feel like and how it should t. It makes me angry that the “support” I received basically involved my being encouraged to “try harder” by supposed trained professionals who missed and missed the tongue tie.

If breastfeeding is breaking your body and spirit then make the switch. Yes you will eel bad and your HV May frown but - IME - the early days are so hard fighting a losing battle with bfing is not worth the stress. It truly messed up my first three weeks with DD and I feel sad when I think back and compare what I have now.

That’s just my story. Not everyone has ineffectual support. But I simply don’t trust professional dismissal of factors that lead to baby repeatedly not being able to latch as flawed technique rather than a potential physical reason - commonly posterior tongue tie.

Anyway, i only post to give support to those who are struggling with feeding and lost in the first time fog. Nobody tells you how hard it is - in no other aspect of raising children are we encouraged to stick at something so damned hard.

Just remember - Fed is best

Oh no @TippetyTapWriter, hope you're ok? Hopefully they can get the tongue tie sorted and that will make a big difference for you.

Breastfeeding is so tough. DS lost 9.4% of his weight by day 5 and was showing signs of jaundice (skin looked like he'd been tango'd and his eyes were starting to go yellow) which scared the life out of me. I'm persevering with breastfeeding and he is gaining weight albeit slowly. I mildly dread feeding as it's either a good latch and a 20 minute job before DS is boob drunk or it's a 3-4 hour battle of the boob with seemingly no middle point between the two outcomes. His small tongue and my flat nipples mean it's hard, and I'm not at the stage to go to formula just yet but I'm not ruling it out. My poor nips are really sore 😩

Oh tippety - sorry to hear of the hard time you're having! I've been right where you are. DD is now coming up for 4 weeks on Sunday. Have had a really rough ride with breastfeeding and if it wasn't for me being so stubborn, I would've long given up on it. DD had a weight loss of 12% by day 3. As she was premature and only weighed 5lbs 11oz on delivery, they were quite concerned. They suggested top ups every feed which I did. Unfortunately this still didn't work and although she didn't lose any more weight, she also wasn't gaining. At this stage, id introduced a formula feed at night time settling. And she STILL didn't gain, only maintained. I was at my wits end by this stage and felt like switching. However the HV suggested I go two more days and she'd come back and weigh her. Thank God she did because she gained 2oz. Not a huge amount but enough to give me a bit of a confidence boost. Since then, she regained her birth weight by week 3 and I've now managed to cut out all top ups and solely rely on the breastfeeding with a formula bottle at night. It's a personal choice with the formula - I feel it settles her well and gives me a bit of peace in my paranoid mind that she's at least getting something every day!

I still wouldn't say I have it cracked and I definitely still have a fair few 'bad' days where we struggle with latch, I have pain or she just doesn't seem interested in my breast and like mumma - i seem to spend hours battling with her. But I am starting to see the light. I luckily also had a a good few friends who advised me that breastfeeding sucks in the early stages but it normally does get better and if it doesn't, there's always formula, that the only pressure we have as mums, is from ourselves. This helped so much!

I guess in my garbled message, what I'm trying to say is, please don't get too disheartened with it all! You are doing amazing already and if you can continue, then brilliant but if not, like legend so sensibly says - fed is best!

Hi Dolly

It was great to read your post. I am also trying to give my dd a formula feed in the evening but she's really not keen. How much are you finding that your little one drinks?

Hi emma - it's VERY variable. She started off taking a max of 50mls but tonight she guzzled 60mls of my expressed milk followed by 90mls of formula and then fed from me for a further 16mins. She tends to cluster feed in the evenings and then goes a bit longer overnight which is brilliant for me. Is your DD taking any??

Very sorry to hear of all the breastfeeding struggles. Definitely get checked for tongue tie, getting that fixed can make a world of difference. I do wonder how the human race survived sometimes, you would think evolution would eliminate these problems!

DS is suffering from trapped wind a lot the last couple of days. It leaves him screaming in pain, it’s horrible to see. So I caved and bought him a dummy yesterday. I know you are not supposed to yet in case they get nipple confusion but it has been magic. He hadn’t slept for four hours and was clearly knackered, two minutes of the dummy and he was fast asleep.

@pingusmistress I've had similar experiences with DD. The gas with her makes her uncomfortable rather than full on screaming pain, thankfully but feeding has now turned into a three part attempt with nappy changes and burping in between. We caved and gave her a dummy too and haven't noticed any problems with latching so far. I hate seeing it in her face so i'm reluctant but she needs the comfort and for some reason sucking helps her poo. Trying to get one poo out in one nappy but that's a work in progress. She's sleeping better so small victories!

Does anyone have any decongesting success tips?
I’ve just bought some saline drops called snuffle babe so I’ll try those tonight I think.
Cot is tilted obvs, will bathe him tonight too so he’s in a steamy atmosphere for a bit and I have tentatively suckered his nose with one of those nose sucky things.
Damn you to hell relative who mentioned their man flu after he held D for 20 minutes.

Wrote a long post and lost it all. Blame sleep deprivation and typing with my left hand while dd feeds!

Thanks for bfing support. Amazed I'm still going to be honest especially when I look at ff ds and he's such a healthy strong toddler! I must really hate sterilising bottles Though my cunning plan to avoid it has failed as I'm currently sterilising a bottle, a breast pump and my nipple shields every 2-3hrs! As well as bfing! Really hope they can help us at tongue tie clinic on Monday.

Re: dummies, I'm hoping dd will take one once bfing is established. Ds never did and it was a pain having no way to comfort or soothe him for naps etc especially as i couldn't bf him. When he was in scbu they gave him one at a few days old to make him more comfortable. I think the sucking instinct is so soothing for them it makes sense to make use of it.

For wind have you tried infacol? I didn't think it worked with ds but been giving it religiously to dd before every feed and it does seem to be helping.

Sorry about the cold gimble. I hate baby colds with a passion. Sounds to me like you're doing everything you can. It's mostly a horrible waiting game for them to get better, and a lot of broken sleep while they do!

And wanted to say well done dolly. Hopefully we can do as well as you.

Oh dear @GimbleInTheWabe , it is so selfish when people do that! They get a ten minute cuddle with baby and you get days of pain in return.  I use olbas oil for children when DD has a cold, put a few drops on a muslin and lay it on a warm radiator near baby.

@TippetyTapWriter like you I tried infacol with DD and it didn’t seem to work, same with gripe water. At the moment the dummy combined with laying him on his side for a while seems to be working for DS, but it is good to have something else in reserve! He had a good night last night, three feeds and asleep within an hour each time.

Hello all, FINALLY joining you on the other side with little miss late, born yesterday 13 days late and only weighing in at 5lb 5!!! So still in hospital getting her checked etc, so far she seems fine and it's just a case of she was always going to be tiny... had to send out for some tiny baby clothes as the newborn ones I was worried about her fitting into were too big!

Anyway, you lot are now old hands at this: can someone please please please help me deal the first post birth poo (mine not hers!) I had an episiotomy after a rather dramatic induction and then epidural, and stitches are giving me hell. Plus it feels like the baby also pushed out half of my bum in piles as well 😱 I've had some lactulose off the midwives here, but nada so far, and quite frankly I am terrified. Going to ask for some more in a minute, as well as my second dose of some sort of morphiney type stuff for the stitches. Then I am going to attempt to go to the loo. Anyone got any tips on making this a less dreadful ordeal than I have made it out into in my head?

@boxesoffrogs when I was in hospital they gave me this laxative sachet thing called Isapaghula Husk or something, it’s a weird orangey pulp stuff that helps you go so I had that as well as the laculose but I still didn’t go until a day after he was born.
I’m pretty sure by then my poo was so soft that actually it was fine and it wasn’t painful at all. The drugs made me feel pretty numb down there. Is there a stash of maternity pads on the ward? I was using one of those to press lightly against the stitches when I pushed. But I’d say don’t force it, just wait until you need to go and eat some good fibrous foods to help it get going!
~~Wistfully remembers carting Dex in to the toilet with me because I was paranoid he’d get stolen or fall out the cot whilst I was in the loo~~

@boxesoffrogs I’ve heard the fear of going is worse than going itself.

I had an epidural and episiotomy and wasn’t given anything to help me go. Fortunately (I guess) my body didn’t give me a choice and I had to go the day after birth. I just tried not to force anything, your body will do it itself (and will also try to fight it), but if you just take it slowly, it should happen.

My little boy Casey arrived 30/10 at 40+6.
Went into hospital with pains and bleeding and turned out to be 4cm dilated. Once they broke my waters I had an epidural and was soon at 9cm. Contractions slowed down once baby was in birth canal and his heart rate dropped with each contraction so the doctor performed an episiotomy and forceps delivery. He weighed 6lb 4oz.

After birth I started getting dizzy and losing my vision before eventually blacking out and being unable to keep any good down. The midwife was unsure as to why this was happening and said he thinks it could’ve been the injection to deliver the placenta. Blood tests revealed my haemoglobin levels had dropped quite low as had my blood pressure, so I’m now on iron tablets for 6 weeks (which are lovely along with the stitches.....)

Welcome to the other side @boxesoffrogs and @leannejade , congratulations!

The stuff @GimbleInTheWabe mentions is called fybogel and can be bought from the pharmacy off the shelf. I took that and ate three prunes every day for the first week, still took me four days to go though. The fear was indeed worse than the reality! As others have said, take it slow and don’t force things. Make sure baby is asleep or being looked after by someone so you can take your time.

What do your babies think of baths? DS hates them and screams the place down! Definitely not a water baby.