Jan '07 part 6: PCF's hoping for a different sort of Easter egg than the rest of us!

[2HappyEaster]

Like a lovely, plump, fertilised one

laughalot - just got your message. Sorry - wasnt ignoring you - was in the bath. I completely agree with you. People are not going to admit to this in public are they. As they think it may make them look bad.

Hey girls I'm back. PCF - you hit the nail on the head there. I am a Formula Feeding, early weaning, tap on hands/bum, controlled crying advocate kind of mum and all the current guidelines/advice/PC views make me feel like a right BAD MOTHER!!!

On the flip side though, I adore my son, would do anything for him, would lay my life on the line for him and intend to give him the best upbringing I possibly can.

Surely we can only do our best eh?

Just taken him for his second set of jabs - he was such a little soldier, cried briefly but soon settled down, have given him a huge cuddle, some Calpol and got him down to sleep. Hope he is OK later on, I've heard the second lot of jabs can make them cranky pants.

Laughalot - have you got your MSN sorted yet??

BTW I am in all afternoon and dependent on J being good and the housework getting done, I intend to MN and MSN all afternoon ;)

I do think lizz that is why the figures are as high as they are.

Pcf my ds has a fruit shoot every now and then and some sweeties not all the time but as a treat, kids should be kids how many children do you see nowadays who are 5 going on 15.

Yep wilks its sorted I shall be on more tonight though as dh has half day today at work but is going out tonight for a curry.

I think the statistic is misleading. They aren't asking which parents have never smacked, or would never smack, or cannot understand others who do. They ask who disagrees with it.

I disagree with smacking. But guess what? I've smacked ds1.

And guess what I got for it? A massive guilt, and an escalation not resolution in his behaviour.

He can have at times extremely challenging behaviour which sometimes I really struggle with, and particularly in the period after ds2's birth both ds1's behaviour and (in my knackered state) my coping mechanisms went to pieces. And as soon as I'd hit him it was like a barrier had been lifted and suddenly it was easier to hit him any time he did something wrong . I thought I was using it as a last resort because everything else I'd tried failed, but it didn't work either and it just made me feel shit.

I still feel like smacking him sometimes, especially when he does something really awful (usually to ds2 ), but there's no point because it doesn't work, he just doesn't seem to learn from it, and hitting a child to teach him, for exmple, that it's wrong to hit people...

I don't judge others who do it, esp as a last resort, because I understand why they do it since I've felt exactly the same way myself. But I don't believe in it as a parenting method, so I guess that makes me one of the 80%, despite freely admitting that I have done it...it's just a skewed statistic IMO.

I'm not sure that comes across entriely as I meant it too...was just trying to say I think the statistic is misleading, not a comment on anyone who either believes in smacking or anyone who doesn't. IME it didn't work for my son, but that's just my son, and has nothing to do with the statistic. IYKWIM.

Am I burbling? I think I'm burbling...

And PCF if you want to give me any tips on coping with challenging behaviour, please feel free!!

And I'll read that Dr Sear's bit, he was great with info on ds2's jaundice and tongue tie, thnks Jodie.

D'you think I should stop posting now???

Hee Hee 2happy it is hard having 2 kids aidan is evil to lauren sometimes but I always think to myself that he was on his own for so long with my undivided attention so I can understand why he is how he is at times .

Whilst im on my soapbox why does it say on the packs of babyrice suitable from 4 months ?

I know what you mean 2Happy. I don't 'AGREE' with smacking but will smack. Of course, ideally I would love not to smack but I have a feeling at some point I will and I am not totally opposed to the idea of a smack on the bum. A wallop across the head or ear is something else though and no I wouldn't do that.

I was smacked 3 times as a child and do you know why I remember the exact circumstance - because it was a rarety and each time I had done something VERY naughty and it worked for me because it made me realise how wrong I had been for mum to actually smack me IYSWIM.

TBH, I think my parents raised me and my sister in a fantastic way, they were strict but extremely loving and me and my isi, IMO, have turned out to be well rounded individuals so I intend to base my parenting on my parents methods (DH had very similar upbringing). I think it must be hard if your upbringing wasn't great as you can't base your parenting choices on those who brought you up...

I'm rambling now....

Hvae to say that PCF post at 12.01 is exactly how I feel, I bottle feed, wean before 6 months and Ellie has had the occasional smack (we have tried naughty step she doesnt get it, we have a reward chart that works for certain things like eating meals/teeth cleaning/ using toilet. At the moment the main thing we do is put her in her room for 2 minutes and she is starting to understand that this means I am angry at her behaviour and/or actions she gets a very stern warning and if she carries on then its the bedroom (mean mummy that I am as all her toys in her room ae in storage boxes so she cant play whilst she is in there) so hoping this will carry on. Like PCF's son Ellie wouldnt give 2 hoots if I took her toys away or wouldnt let her go to a friends etc she would just find something trivial like a cushion and make a game out of that anyway.

But she knows she is loved, she is fed,clothed and cared for and has 2 parents who spend alot of time with her doing things she will not grow up unbalanced or having issues because she had the occasional smack.

On a seperate note off to SIL in a bit as dc on school hols so ellie going to play and having tea there, so see you all later

Ah now the chocolate I can definitely do!!!

Hi all. Hope you all had a nice long weekend.

Ah-haaa...courting controversy again eh
I was wacked with a slipper by my step dad quite a bit and told to shut up all the time, and I was a really good kid too (obviously!), but not as often as my sister (older) was hit and told off. Sister's relationship with stepdad is very poor. Don't agree with smacking at all. I think it has affected my personality as an adult (don't get me wrong, I don't go around smacking everyone I see with a slipper...but watch it just in case , but I'm now quiet and a peace maker). Oh I could go on about my upbringing (get the violins out).
Hopefully I'm patient enough not to smack, but I guess it's hard to tell unless you've been in trigger situations.

Can you MSN more than one person at once? Or is that called MN?

RGee - If you want a communal chat with more than one person, click the top left hand icon (green person with + symbol) and you can invite them to join your conversation.

PCF, I'm such a bad mummy I'm relishing ds1 being young enough that if a day passes after the chocolate is put in the fridge, he kind of forgets it's there (not that there's much of it there any more )

To be honest I'm quite sure a lot of people disagree with the way I bring up childen and probably some on this thread do too. We don't do star charts etc and we don't use time outs, we talk things through and deal with things that way. Works for us but not for everyone. On the sliding scale of parenting we are at one end of it rather than being in the middle so clearly most people won't agree with the way we do things.

Ap is being more mainstream though so who knows what people will be like in the future. I also get in impression some people dislike me on this thread but that's ok. It's right that I disagree with some things that people do but they're not my children so I'll just not worry about it. I'm not keen on reading about early weaning but that's about the only thing that I find really hard to ignore.

I believe in what sears says about think of the qualities that you would like your adult child to have ie confidence, ability to speak their mind, standing up for themselves, sensitivity etc etc and work towards that as a long term goal rather than looking for short term child goals such as obdience.

Anyway, I'm very aware that a lot of people on this thread don't hold the same views as me, but that doesn't mean we can't still chat and stuff unless anyone doesn't want to in which case I completely understand.

We've had a lovely day so far, took the kids out to a local fun factory attached to a pub, so the kids did the soft play and then we went to eat. Had a nice relaxing meal and Ethan didn't need feeding until the end so when we went back through to play I sat and fed him. Popped into Tesco on the way home and Ethan sat in the trolley grinning at us all the way round

Is anyone else feeling really, really happy lately? I'm quite surprised considering the lack of sleep I'm getting, unless I'm going crazy hehe. I think all the nice weather does me the world of good.

Hope everyone and their babies are well and enjoying the day

Ds1, at the moment has his life hanging by a thread because he's being a complete and utter little shit today. I feel like beating him to kingdom-come ATM but have learnt it doesn't work because he/they still ignore me and do whatever it is they've been told off about.
He's in his room and will stay there until next monday at rate.

I think I'm a reformed smacker now....

Well as I mum because aidan was weaned at 10 weeks and has a tap on the hand he isnt going to turn out alright in life.... bad mum