Jan '07 part 6: PCF's hoping for a different sort of Easter egg than the rest of us!

[2HappyEaster]

Like a lovely, plump, fertilised one

Good post pcf, agree totally. Would love to be able to talk things through with Ellie and not have to do the time out thing but when she is kicking off she completely 'zones' out of her surroundings and literally just tantrums and you are unable to reason with her and the only way I can calm her down is to put her on her own to calm down and then I am able to explain what she has done wrong and why she was put in her room. In a way I wish I could do it like Jodie but this is the way it is now and hoping when we get out of the '2's and she starts preschool she will get better herself.

Blimmin SIL cancelled at last minute cause neice has started chucking up so neighbours popped in for a bit and now need to root around the freezer to find something for her to eat. Hattie been a little star today so contented and behaved, I know she doenst know anything different but feel guilty because she does get left alot I am going to make a very concious effort to spend quality time with her on tues and thurs when ellie is at preschool

I agree PCF. I've got to say, the bfing thing I feel veeery strongly about.

I bfed ds1 for 15m, and I am proud as hell of that. But the only reason I managed it is because I'm a stubborn little shite (much like ds1 ). It was hellish to begin with, cracked nipples and sod all help from the post natal ward. If he hadn't have been a natural latcher I would never have made it. If he had been tongue tied like ds2 I would never have made it. It doesn't make me better than anyone. It doesn't mean I'm a better mum, that I tried harder than anyone, that I worked harder than anyone... I just see it as a fact, I was able to bf. I don't feel superior, better, anything. BUT (and I have said this before) motherhood seems to be about finding things to feel guilty about, so although I don't see it this way, I know dsis who tried very hard to bfeed feels guilty that she "couldn't" while I "could". Similarly, I feel guilty about the fact that both my sons were crap deliveries. I feel guilty that I "couldn't" deliver without intervention. Do any of you who had natural deliveries feel superior, feel you are a better mother than I am? (I bloody hope not, lol!) What I mean is, those who "manage" to deliver don't feel better, but those who "don't manage" might feel guilty; those who "manage" to bfeed don't feel better (or shouldn't), but those who couldn't might feel guilty. It's totally wrong. I think motherhood can be hard enough, without being made to feel guilty about stuff too. We all find ways to beat ourselves up, the last thing we should be doing is looking for ways to make others feel even worse.

So there!

and another lighter note ellie is eating her tea with a pink feather boa round her neck, some pink glittery shoes on and a dora t shirt on she looks stunning (would easily be accepted in the ritz or savoy )

Well I have tried the communication parenting thing - ds1 demanded a tractor dvd which I don't like letting him watch because there's always a tantrum when it finishes because I won't keep repeating the dvd ad nauseum - so when he asked for it just now I said ok but only if when it finishes the tv goes off with no screaming....

....let's see if it works!

(and I get to MN while the dvd is on )

All together, now...Here comes a tractor, a green and yellow tractor, listen to the sound of the engine run....la la la

[apparently, the piglets on the dvd look like ds2 having his boobie milk...]

Ohh I love a bit of controversy. Have to say I was never smacked as a child and that never did me any harm either! Hopefully I will not ever have to smack Freddie, but you never know how things turn out do you...

Well said 2Happy!! I one and only thing I've felt VERY strongly about since having F is the whole FF/breastfeeding thing. Unfortunetly i didn't manage well with the BF at all... for various reasons i won't harp on about again, i'm sure i've gone on about it enough on this thread before...and did feel very guilty about it but more than that I felt (and still feel) angry because i was made to feel guilty about it. From the nurses in hospital to HV to all the books & websites about young babies(including Dr Sears, who is in my opinion not helpful at all on FF. If you're reading that section of the site you have probably started FF and need advice and support not a whole load of stuff on why you're doing something horrible to your baby!) it is really drilled into you that you must breastfeed or you are BAD!! And thats really not fair.

Rant over.....

I agree with 2happy, I don't feel better than anyone because I had natural deliveries (just lucky to have had), similarly I don't feel better than anyone else because I've bf. I didn't bf dd, as I've mentioned before, and I do feel extremely guilty about that. There were difficult circumstances surronding why and if I knew what I know now I'd have done things differently. At the time she was being tube fed in scbu and I was asked if they could start her on formula late at night after she was fed glucose all day. I can remember vividly lying in the hospital bed and hearing the phone ring at the midwives station and then footsteps coming towards me, I was really terrified that someone was coming to tell me that she had died I was relived when all they asked about was her feeding. Noone mentioned that I could express and they could feed her that

A lot of things I did with dd I feel guilty about every bloody day and I suppose that's why I express my opinions so much about things now as I'd hate for anyone else to be in the same situation later on.

Pcf - I don't think I'm being got at really, everyone is entitled to their opinions no matter how different they are to their own.

Shimmer - I've never read the ff advice on the sears site so I can't comment on that. Sorry if it's crap. I do think the rest of the site has some very good information on behaviour, sleeping etc though.

New photos on profile....I'm taking the cutest baby trophey back UD

Hi all
Jodie - your earlier post made me that you got the impression some people didn't like you, so I was cheered when I read your most recent post. PCF sums it all up perfectly. I also think we're all open minded and lovely people on this thread and allow others to express their differing opinions without getting in a nark about it
Like Shimmer and PCF, I had problems with the bf and still feel guilty about it despite all my family and friends constantly telling me I did right to finally switch to ff. It is the health professionals that made me guilty, and in a way, too proud and emotional to approach them for help, which makes me even guiltier. Sigh. Anyone know when i'll stop beating myself up? Smacking myself with a slipper....wonder where that came from

Lizz - no sunglasses but bought a floppy sunhat which seems to cover all her head. Will have to cut eyeholes

UD - forgot to say, great idea re mass bf. Hope you get loads of support. How's Z sleeping going and the teething?

LTH - what has DH1 done? Can you bear to tell?

EAH - is tea cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off? Mwah mwah.

DH has gone to the footie tonight (so I'll be here all night then ) so was pretty much straight in from work and out again. He managed however to find the time to put his glasses on the lo and take a photo. PMSL, poor love. Must try to post it later.

LTH - Gorgeous! I have to remember to get some new pics of Ethan, he's a gorgeous smiley baby

LTH - huge beamers Lovely photos! But must clarify you meant cutest boy rather than cutest baby on this thread

Bloody hell LTH - he looks like you!

And I have to say, there are new photos on my profile and you will have to share that trophy with me

Rgee - cross post there. I'm fine anyway Just enjoying being a mum for the last time, making the most of it all!

Wilkie, he is the spitting image of me as a baby actually.

I might try and get a baby photo of me to compare but even I can see the resemblance.

He's a lucky boy

BTW, how do you get a photo to show on the first page of your profile?
rather than just on the photos page?

Wilkie - really love the piccy of you and J. He looks so relaxed and happy

I would hate us to have a cutest baby competition on this thread!

lth - fab photos

To put pic on front page go to 'my mumsnet' sign in and set up public page then in the box where it says 'a few words about yourself' under that is the option to use one of your photos on front page.

Well I am claimimg the 2 cutest sister award as don't think anyone else has 2 girls do they
(well jessdibs has but seems to have dissapeared)

only coz you know I;d win Rgee

MN does into melt down at the mere mention of cutest baby comps so maybe we should just say the all The Jan 2007 babies are best...actually and the sept 2003 ones too (ds3 is one of those)

I've been here for an hour trying to upload my photos from camera phone to PC, but to no avail. I am a techno biff and need DH home from footie to do it for me.

Are you all yakking on MSN?