May 2017 #17 the fun continues

[teainbed]

Hope everyone will continue to chat about their beautiful May 2017 babies!

[dreamofhungarianlanterns]

Hello all! Have just had an almighty catch up and nice to see the thread skipping along again. Big hugs to those having a tough time, Barnes, cox, rasperry and rise for very different reasons you're all being wonder women in challenging circumstances 💐 welcome tigger. Mighty I hope you're still reading, I think about you every day and hope it's getting better.

I don't know if anyone will recall about 7 threads ago I described a stag do of all younger women DP was going on and was dreading it a little? (His brothers). Well it was last week and turned out fine. It was near MIL so I took the nipper up to see her for the day as DP had pleaded to not have to stay for the clubbing element! BIL to be didn't know and seemed almost as pleased that I had done that as he was with the fancy dress roller disco Harrison was impeccably behaved until I left MIL to babysit whilst I napped, forgetting that the leap he was in at the time entailed an hour of screaming starting that precise time

[MrsJW15]

@dreamofhungarianlanterns sounds like you timed your nap well 😄

Interesting @EsmesBees - although I worry that baby W's night sleep will get worse as she does quite well at the moment. I guess I'll find out in a couple of weeks. Would be great if her feeds got quicker! We are still on 40 mins.

Good luck on the tube! We've found it ok with the buggy- people are v helpful. Haven't had to deal with potty issues though. Where are you going?

@1004Rise that sounds so frustrating! Men do seem to struggle with adapting to prioritising someone else more I think. DH is on pat leave still. I complained last week about his 45 morning routine when I get -
10 minutes. I discovered he was spending ages doing sit-ups before his shower 😐 but I find it can be hard to discuss a broad attitude/approach without it becoming a moan about specifics. If you are very stuck with your parents could you plan a long walk or something at the weekend just the three of you?

@CoxsOrangePippin that is reassuring thanks! Baby W is usually cheerful and smiley so we are trying not to worry too much about day time naps. She doesn't seem sleep deprived! Interested to know what habits she is suggesting.

[1004Rise]

@MrsJW15 you've described it to a tee, right down to the 45 vs 10 minutes in the bathroom.... I have no idea what he does - and he used to complain about me! I'm trying very hard to not to turn into a nagging Annie it's just really frustrating!!

[CoxsOrangePippin]

@mrsjw15 A lot of it is maximising daytime calories for longer nighttime sleep. About half the nights we are now getting six hours which is a definite improvement. Plus a consistent bedtime routine, being put down awake and then shush-pat for as long as it takes. Then if he wakes at night before the six hour mark we resettle him without feeding, which I thought would be awful but he is fine with it because he is getting more daytime food than before. It has not caused any crying at all.

She did tell me my goal of predictable, long naps was unrealistic though!

[MrsJW15]

@CoxsOrangePippin disappointing on the predictable daytime naps!

[EsmesBees]

We are going up to the Midlands to see the in laws MrsJW. It's the ratio of parents to babies that worries me, we've done the journey loads with luggage and just dd1, it's adding the baby in to the mix which is a bit scary. We are doing it pram free, but yes people are always so helpful on the tube. Mostly I don't even have to ask.

Dd1 has just been sick everywhere though so we may not be going anywhere...

That's interesting Cox. How long does the shush patting take? And how are you meant to maximise day time calories, just try and offer more feeds in the day? I'm just going with the flow here, but was thinking the other day about how I'm ever going to get to a state where they both go to sleep at 7. I'm hoping once baby bees gets a bit older she will just join in with dd1's routine.

[Rabbitykins55]

Baby rabbit must know I was talking about him and has reverted back to feeds every hour and a half tonight. 😴

[Badgerbird]

rise what a gorgeous photo!! That expression :)

raspberry and sunflowerI'm disgusted that the dr reacted that way especially with your pasts AND the fact you've just had a baby!! So glad you've got your DH as support raspberry. sunflower I hope it hasn't brought you down too much. Unbelievable!!

After having had an ED for 10 years myself (14-24) and having helped many women with theirs through the work I do I'm pretty sensitive to it. I've found motherhood a great way to make sure I'm not too hung up on the way my body looks and all it's extra wobbly bits/mum tum especially as I have a daughter. I'm not going to be one of those mums who doesn't play in the sea coz my thighs are too wobbly.

I keep reminding myself what an amazing job it's done carrying our baby. I'm looking forward to exercising again once I get more sleep!!

Just realised again how different it is in different areas as I've only been weighed once at 8 week booking in appointment!


Ooh cox will you keep us posted how you get on with sleep training please? How old is little pippin?

Catch up more later x

[teainbed]

@CoxsOrangePippin that's great your getting some support with sleeping and a decent stretch at night. I think the evening routine is the lynchpin of better sleep!

I wonder if I'd be really nervous about not feeding such a young baby if they woke during this 6 hour stretch though, how have you found that?

BabyTea woke 'early' a couple of nights ago at 10.50 instead of between 1 and 3 and I fed him but I was wondering if that was the right thing to do or not. And some night feeds here seem very short now so was he really hungry or just awake? Let us know how you get on!

[1004Rise]

Today is a better day, we weren't up every hour from 2am like yesterday which is a start! Baby rise decided that the day started at 7am so we just went with it, so we're washed and dressed and I've just managed to get her to sleep in her Moses basket with a dummy and hairdryer noise so now I'm off to get my breakfast 😀

Had a talk with DH yesterday told me how much his lack of sleep comment pissed me off, he agreed he was being an idiot. So no shaking needed just yet 😜

@Badgerbird that's a really good point no one has weighed me since my booking appointment either seems like a much more sensible way to go. I really like your "I'm going in the sea regardless of how wobbly my thighs are" can't join you on that one because I don't like beaches but definitely in the swimming pool 😜

@EsmesBees good luck with your travels I'm sure you and DH will have all under control

@CoxsOrangePippin you've shattered my illusion of the predictable daytime naps, I'm also interested in the maximising calories during the day. Baby rise has one boob for about 10 mins and then is very adamant that she doesn't want anymore, whether it's because she goes to sleep or has just found something more interesting. Not sure I couldn't feed baby rise without a meltdown when she woke up within the 6 hours at night. Really interested to know how you get on 😁

[CoxsOrangePippin]

Pippin is nearly 11 weeks now and we started at 8-9 weeks. I was nervous about not feeding within that six hour window but I realised that I had never before actually checked whether he was hungry before feeding at night. I would definitely feed him during that time if he was hungry (eg a couple of times he has been hungry around 5 hours) but now we are just trying a cuddle and dummy before feeding, instead of after, and generally he is dropping back off quite happily or not waking in the first place.

During the day the thing that mainly helped was if he has a snack feed I will offer again 10 minutes later to get him to take the other half of his feed. That way he has a good full feed and doesn't waste the hind milk. And I offer him to feed after three hours even if he isn't asking (or earlier if he is showing cues obviously) and find he will happily take a full feed then. It has helped me feel like I am coping because with 2-3 hour gaps between feeds instead of 1-4 hour gaps when he was snacking randomly, I don't accidentally miss hunger cues.

[CoxsOrangePippin]

I know it may all change again in a week! I am just trying to offer him some predictability, not stick to a schedule or ignore cues for whatever. I know for my mental health I need some decent sleep so I am hoping having a consistent bedtime routine helps him learn good habits without actually 'sleep training'.

[1004Rise]

@CoxsOrangePippin interesting... I'm definitely going to try the offering again 10 minutes later during the day. That's a good point about night time too, it's an automatic reaction to try to feed her first... might see how brave I'm feeling 😜

[teainbed]

@CoxsOrangePippin I think that sounds pretty fair and sensible! Working towards something predictable is good, everyone knows what they're meant to be doing then.

I don't think there's anything wrong with sleep training either. Assuming it's not ignoring an unwell or hungry baby. I never thought I would do anything like that but my DD2 at 10 months was waking every half hour for the boob. I was easing myself back into work and thought she and I would die of tiredness! It's how I ended up on Mumsnet actually as I was researching methods to help her sleep better. In the end I choose one of the gentler ones and it took 3 nights and she slept though.

[CoxsOrangePippin]

I've got nothing against sleep training either - I read the sleep
bits in the Science of Mom book/blog you (I think?) recommended and that was really reassuring and helpful about learning, self-soothing, and different types/intensities of stress. I suppose I am just trying to pre-empt it!

[MrsJW15]

Baby W us fairly consistent at night. If she wakes up at an unexpected time, I put Ewan on and put her dummy in. She usually either settles fairly quickly or shows no interest, in which case I feed her. If it's around the time that I usually feed then I will just feed. Seems to work for us.

Interesting on the regular feeds @CoxsOrangePippin. Baby W usually eats every three hours and I offer both boobs. She's usually fairly consistent on eating just not naps! Will be interesting to see if your feeding schedule helps the naps.

[savagehk]

I've probably got unusual babies in that they sleep like logs and only wake for food. 4.5 yo still sleeps like a log, almost impossible to wake unless he wakes himself.

[RasperryInAMelon]

@1004Rise such wise eyes 👀

We're going to take Molly swimming next week, but she just has a regular swimming costume - we looked at classes but it's so expensive when you only have Mat Leave pay so DH and I will take her but will look at 'classes' once she's a year old

@MrsJW15 We've had a few days now with large daytime awake periods and even better night time sleep - hopefully this continues! 🤞🏻

@1004Rise I hear you! We're trying to move house at the moment and DH is hopeless at managing any of it! Hats off to you for not shaking him so far!

Thank you for your words of encouragement @Rockyroad17 @teainbed @1004Rise @MrsJW15 @coxsorangepippin @Barnes79 @ClaireSunflower @Badgerbird

Must take Molly to be weighed next week!

[Acorncat]

Baby swimming classes are always so expensive, last time I looked it was about £14 for 30 mins! I did the council run ones when DS was a few months old (and could stand the colder pool) and they were much more reasonable.

Interestingly I've been trying to offer things other than milk during the day, rather than at night. I think some of her unhappiness was just being too full cos I kept encouraging her to feed when she didn't really want to. Most of the time she actually just wanted to sleep so I'd just rock her instead. Nighttime I still feed if she wakes. We won't be doing any sort of sleep training, we're more cosleeping and waiting it out and it's totally normal for kids to wake at night, everyone does

[Acorncat]

Also, anyone that's had tongue tie checked/fixed - was it picked up by a private lactation consultant or just during a routine check? No ones actually checked DD and whilst I don't think she has a bad one I would like her checked as her latch is pretty bad. I've googled lactation consultants but the one that keeps coming up is £120 for a 4 hour consult and that's a bit more than I was looking for!

[savagehk]

Acorn we were checked before hospital discharge, is it not in your red book?

[savagehk]

Have you managed to go to any midwife run bf support groups? They might be able to give an opinion

[Acorncat]

savage I don't see anything in her red book about it the midwife checked just after she was born but it was a really quick check.

I was going to go to the clinics at the hospital but they're all off for the whole of August - lucky I'm not having serious problems!

[CoxsOrangePippin]

acorn Pippin wasn't checked for tongue tie because he was feeding fine on discharge. I booked a home visit from a LC (£85) who spotted it and showed me how to get a better latch despite it, and said that as he grew it might or might not become problematic. Then a few weeks later he started clamping down despite me following her latch advice, it turned out to be the tongue tie so I had it snipped then.

[PeachIcedT]

@RasperryInAMelon I just booked a course of swimming yesterday, but yes they are so pricey at about £150 for 10 lessons. We have to miss one for a wedding too. That's my Saturdays booked up for 3 months 🤔. For me it's my lack of confidence taking her without an instructor and wanting a slightly quieter environment but doing the odd session independently sounds like a good option.

@Acorncat interesting about offering something other than milk. It's my go to thing but I'm not sure it's always in her best interests. My HV was the one who suspected TT due to my symptoms alone, she never saw it for herself.

We seem to be alternating between a good night and a bad night of sleep here, and the time she falls asleep varies from about 6:30 and 10:30, so hoping to work on that.