July 2016 #2

[Bluebell20]

A new thread as we (hopefully) move towards longer sleeps and lovely little smiles!

Just quickly checking in to say - we drove to the midlands and survived!

Tho Ru had a meltdown in Gloucester services because I used a dyson air blade to dry my hands.

Other than that, and one poonado - all pretty good!

Cheery haha I was going to message you about Facebook - but now I don't need to! Thanks for fulfilling your side of the pact ;)

Argh mumsnet doesn't update the threads I'm on for the iPad anymore apparently - I thought it was radio silence then I came on and you've all been chatting away!

cheery I laughed out loud at the photo - what a babe! That's 18th birthday party photo fodder right there!

So jealous of you all on holidays - bluebell east mids is where it's at! ;) did you say you were visiting family?

sunday and cheery I'm having a bit of a panic about dogs after that horrendous story on the news and that poor baby, toddler and family :( I take all reasonable precautions around dogs that I trust but now I'm thinking I just don't want them anywhere near Annie. I know it's highly unlikely to ever happen but the thought makes me feel sick

bliebell Annie did a poonami today up the front of her nappy and babygrow! Not quite sure how she managed

Just read wonder weeks app, were entering leap 4 and apparently by the end of it her vision will be as good as ours! That seems craaaazy. They're learning so quickly!

Indians - that's hilarious that Hallie is being papped!

Anna - glad you enjoyed the dog video!
Re feeling old, don't worry, I listen to classic fm 😄
Thank you, I think we've both been feeling a bit better today. Hope you and Grace are better soon xx And your friend too x
Happy birthday for tomorrow (or today now)!

Bluebell - what fun, having a famous brother! Sorry you had a tough day - glad today was better, especially with the journey. For what it's worth, your fb ineptitude had us in stitches, so at least that's something positive about your bad day 😉
Re those dyson-type dryers, Jasper likes them roughly as much as he likes having live viruses jabbed into his leg. His little crumpled red face breaks my heart.

Sunday - ha! Yes wouldn't it be nice to live in a stately home?!
I love the baby footprint 👣 Very cute!

Cheery - I didn't know (or had forgotten) that you went to Rome on babymoon. So did we! Seems ages ago now...
Re taking the plunge, J's cold has yielded crispy little bogeys 😝 rather than snot, and I've taken a fairly hands-on approach in dealing with it. Strangely, he doesn't seem to mind...

Today was Jasper's quarter-birthday 😊 We went to a "Bach to Baby" concert (ridiculous , I know!) - it was a harpist playing a variety of classical music in a really beautiful church - really lovely, plus I met and chatted with a couple of very nice mummies afterwards - good to meet some new faces locally. And then I had a long lunch with six of our Nct mummies and their babies - it was brill just to hang out and chat/play all afternoon. Today was probably the first time I've thought to myself "Ah, this is what maternity leave is all about, I could get used to this". Things just seem to be totally slotting into place 😊

Three photos:
The harpist at this morning's concert.
Jasper wearing his new birthday gloves which are ridiculously large and make him look as if he's doing a crab impression 😄
A wooden jigsaw-type toy that I bought from a charity shop as a Christmas present for J (it looks a bit weird because it's wrapped in cling film but it's really smart).

Ps Bluebs - guess one thing that slightly annoys me about the jigsaw puzzle?

Glad you made it in one piece bluebell. Those hand driers are amazing until you add a baby into the mix. I managed to wake up M with one the first time I used one. She was less than impressed.

julfin will you be getting the paints out? I'm sure you could rectify this hideous situation. The concert sounds fab by the way!

primary I can't bear to think about leap four yet. We really struggled in leap three. Possibly made worse by my tiredness. Dh has been doing things for the previous three weekends so I've been solo parenting for most of the last 3-4 weeks and am knackered. Last night he even told me that he didn't think I wanted him to get up in the nights. This morning's gem (after I woke up and was chatting with M) was asking if I wanted him to get up so I could have a lie in. Would have been lovely if I hadn't already woken up to sort dd out and he hadn't taken a very cute and chatty M into the bedroom next door where she was squealing in delight. Lovely to hear but not exactly conducive with a lie in.

Sorry for the rant. My usually lovely and helpful dh has become a bit useless. It's given me even more respect for single parents though. How on earth do you stay sane?

Sunday i have a bumbo for sitting in to play. It has the tray so baby can have a few toys to play with. The only thing is don't leave your baby in the bumbo alone as they can topple over. I've always used mine quite a bit and then when almost sitting I just put cushions around them I think a specific pillow is an unnecessary expense.

Julfin you're welcome for the Christmas list. I would also recommended squeaky eggs they are a must have for all babies. I find shape sorters are always a good option for encouraging hand eye coordination. We always get the crawl ball as well to encourage that first movement. A rainmaker.
Scrolled up and just realised Beck's has pretty much the same list as me.

Indians I love Hallies little hungry caterpillar set it's so sweet. Have a lovely time visiting your sister. Mine lives in Milan

Ella hello to you and Effie. Absolutely adore her name she's gorgeous. Does she have sniffles or anything that may be making it difficult to feed. Sometimes MB doesn't have as much to drink as other days. With the night feeds I would try to get her off them again asap. I think babies tend to get into habits. My little one sleeps 8pm until 8am. He has a cold at the minute which means he wakes often in the night coughing. I just pop his dummy in when he wakes even if I have to hold it in for a while as I know he doesn't need a feed as he can go 8-8 and I don't want the habit of a new feed to start.

Anna when I was breast feeding and dropped a night feed my boobs took about 3 days to get used to the dropped feed. Then they went nice and soft again. I only lasted with bf up until week 5 though.

Bluebell you sound well organised for Christmas. I love it too it's my favourite time of year. The children get so excited and bear really understands this year.

Cheery everyone is snotty here too. Well so far MB, ds2 and ds3. Although ds2 refuses to wear a coat as it's not cool apparently. I think he's learned his lesson as I said to him today "so snot is cool now is it". With MB we are just using olbas oil, Calpol and snuffle babe. I tried the snot sucker when he was younger but I hate the thing.

Dieting was awful two weeks ago. I tried the 5:2 and put on weight. Plus I was starving so I decided to just go back to weight watchers as it was working. I've lost another lb this week. We are off on a haven holiday this week so I'm going to try and be good but when I get back I'm joining a weight watchers class as I feel I need the support it's too hard struggling on my own doing it online. I need someone to see what I weigh to motivate me more.

Just got back from dropping dh at the train station. It's a good job we are away together this week as he's been working away all week for his 8th week and now he's out for the day to watch the football and have a drink . Anyway here's MB chilling in his pramsuit while I get lunch.

14+1

Indians I love that Hallie is famous.

Tams - is that how you used to rectify the Rubik's cube problem? By repainting it? 😉
It's always fine to rant here! I'm sorry you had a hard time in Leap 3. It doesn't necessarily mean Leap 4 will be tough though - I think different babies are affected more by some leaps than other leaps.

Beaut - Very cute picture of MB! Enjoy your holiday - very well deserved.

Indians - it won't be long before we see Hallie on TV, and we'll say proudly "We knew her before she was born!"

My big achievement yesterday was feeding J while we were travelling in the car. It should have been quite a short journey but were stuck on the M25 for two hours because of an accident. I was in the middle seat, and had to drape myself over his car seat and dangle my boob in his mouth. So unglamorous! And the car seat was jamming into my ribs - v painful. Stopped him from screaming the place down though...

Are the breastfeeding ladies amongst you giving your babies multivitamins, or vitamin D? One of my Nct group just raised the issue, and I've just checked the NHS website, and apparently vitamin D is recommended for breastfed babies from birth. That memo totally passed me by. I'd better pick some up today 😳

julf excellent feeding strategy! I fed Annie in the sling while walking round Asda the other day. Was well proud of myself! Don't think anyone even noticed. My hv said I should be taking vit d supplements as baby is taking my natural store through breastmilk - i.e. No need for supplements directly to her?

beaut I'm doing shite on the diet - put on 3lbs last week just being a total pig. I'm so exhausted which is making me eat loads, think we might be having an early sleep regression :(

tams echoing other posters, Annie hasn't really reacted to any of the leaps yet so every baby is different - she's definitely being more 'stormy' and clingy now though which is coninciding with the start of leap 4 so I think my luck has run out!

Annie just fell asleep to David Attenborough, she was mesmerised by animals! She doesn't seem overly impressed with our animals though...

julfin umm...no...ahem does anyone have the orange paint?

primary loving the photo with the rabbit. Very cute. I'm sorry you're struggling with sleep regesssion. Cake is necessary in the circumstances though.

Feel bad for the rant as dh has been lovely since then and even got up in the night. Thanks for the leap advice. I'm hoping for an easy leap four then. At least leap three is the shortest one!

Hope you're having a lovely time in the midlands bluebell. Also indians are you living the Italian dream?

Tams - Everyone has moments/phases when they're unlovely. I'm glad your DH is being lovely again now. Also, I figure different people have different skills/interests, and if I set my expectations accordingly, I'm less likely to be disappointed. For example, on the one hand my DH does all the cooking in our household - he's an excellent cook and really enjoys it (whereas I don't), so I let him get on with it. On the other hand, he's much less proactive in looking after the baby, so I just get on with it.

Primary - sorry to hear that you're exhausted.
That's very impressive re feeding in the sling! What sort of sling do you have? Is it one of those plain wraps? Do you have to tie it in a special way in order to breastfeed in it? I've got a Close Caboo and I don't think I'd be able to feed in it.
Love the rabbit!
Hmm, your HV's advice is different from what I read on the NHS website. Mind you, I don't think my HV mentioned anything about vitamin D at all, so yours is a step ahead at least...

13w & 3d

julf tbh I hadn't read it - will have a read now!

We have a cheapy Tesco sling (think it's about £12 rrp) that we were given by a friend, I shove a bib or muslin under my boob to prop it up a bit and keep it in place (they're rather big!). I know there's supposed to be issues with those sling styles for baby's hips but she's only ever in it for 10 mins when I go to the shop - way easier than sticking the pram in the car!

Hi all, sorry for the late reply, I've got my hands full with a 16 month old and a 14 week old!

beautician We had dropped Effie's late 10/11pm bottle so tried reintroducing that and she is still waking around 2/3am but doesn't want a feed and will drop back off. I had DS in a good routine by now but struggling with Effie!

Oh lord I am feeling a bit grumpy guys. DH and I are back to bickering a lot. I am being over sensitive and taking everything as criticism - on the other hand, he is genuinely criticising me sometimes, so it's not all in my head.

Also, Ru is being very demanding with feeds to the point that I don't feel I can leave him for more than half an hour at any point. I just had to do a supermarket dash for breast pads because I was down to my last two (DH: "Why have we" - (ie me) - "let the stock get so low?" - criticism, not in my head) and I came back 25 mins later to the sound of screaming baby coming from our house because Ru needed feeding again, less than an hour after he last fed. I feel more tied than I did when he was newborn.

I actually just don't think DH gets how frustrated I am that I can't do stuff around / outside the house because of looking after / feeding Ruben. Every time I try to explain how I feel he just says, "Well, you're a mum now" or, "You wanted to be a mum". I could say the same thing to him about being a dad but I don't! julf I sometimes have a go at adjusting my expectations in the way you describe, but I think that would only work for me if DH adjusted his expectations of me, too!!!! I find it so disappointing - we are both pretty decent people at heart, I think, so I don't get why we fall out so much... It makes me feel horrid.

Sorry to whine ladies. Will go back and reply properly to everyone later on. Just had to get that off my chest! Grargh. X

Anna yeah the band were on Radio One live lounge the other week! They were also on Radio Two though, don't worry ;) And I've been a Radio Two girl since I was about eight years old... How's your cold?

sunday - isn't it lush when they suddenly start sleeping through? I could NOT believe it the first time Ruben did it. Total bliss. Gorgeous footprint, by the way!

Cheery - wtf with your in laws and their crazy dog 'training'? After that awful news about the baby boy this week I think you'd be well within your rights to intervene with that... Don't know if it helps, but my brother-in-law had a go at training their dog to stay away from the baby by leaving one of the baby's blankets on the floor, and letting him sniff it but telling him to leave it alone.

primary thank you for the tactful poonami / poonado correction there ;) As I was typing 'poonado' I was thinking, 'Why do people say poonado? "Poo" sounds nothing like "tor"'... Duhhh....

julf OMG how classy, baby Bach! We're still on "pookie doodle" over here! Loving the charity shop find (despite the colour issue). I too have picked bogies out of Ruben's nose and I'm afraid I enjoyed it. So satisfying when you manage to whip one out without the baby noticing / caring!

tams I hope you're feeling a bit better after this weekend. Did your DH give you any more of a break? I am lucky in that my husband only works part time, which is why I'm getting the odd day to write while he does child care, but even so, when he has stuff on at the weekend (and like you, he has done for the last three weekends) you just feel like you're not really getting a break.

I think it's something that husbands possibly don't understand, because if you're not the main carer then you don't get that feeling of complete responsibility. I remember one of my friends, after she first had a baby, getting really cross with her partner because when they were all together, he would just wander out of the room to go and do something, without asking her whether it was okay for her to stay in the room and take care of the baby. Whereas if she wanted to go and do something, she would always ask him if he could look after the baby for the next while! It's a totally different mentality.

Beaut hope your holiday is super, and that you can enjoy some much-needed quality time with your DH. I can imagine it is much more motivating to have a public weigh-in - even having to put the pounds lost on here is quite helpful!

Indians - go Hallie!

julf you are a breastfeeding marvel! I am impressed! And regarding the vitamins, no I hadn't heard about giving babies vit D. I shall ask the health visitor about it at the next clinic, but I would imagine that if it was important we'd have been told? I had, however, TOTALLY forgotten to take breastfeeding vitamins until about two weeks ago. I think it was because I was so spangled after Ruben's birth that I didn't think about it, plus I'd stopped taking the pregnancy ones every day because they made me so constipated, so I wasn't in the habit of pill popping any more... I really must get better at taking them every day, now that I've bought them - especially as the nights are drawing in.

primary awwwh, Annie and the rabbit! So sweet! And kudos on the sling feeding. You guys are ace. And there I am, feeling like a champion just because I can feed without a cushion...!

tams yep I had a lovely time in the Midlands thanks. My cousins had arranged to visit with their kids at the same time, so it was an absolute mad house but really fun. And I was so proud of myself for driving there and back without DH. I am completely in love with my satnav and wish I'd bought one years ago - it would have saved SO many arguments over maps.

Can I ask about... er... dtd? We've dtd once since Ru was born, and it was reaaaaaaaalllllllly sore for me. I was a bit taken by surprise by that, because I had assumed that having had a C-section, I would be fine. Haven't tried again since - partly because I'm knackered, partly because I'm scared it's going to hurt. I think this is also part of the reason why DH and I are bickering - I think when we have a bit of a dry spell he feels it as a lack of affection from me. I don't feel like I can discuss it with him. Is it unusual to have gone this long (i.e. once in 14 weeks - it was at about the 8-week mark)?

By the way - lbs lost this week: 0. Inches lost: 0. Word count: gone down, because I cut a chapter.

Wahhh!

Have no idea how this happened, but seem to have dropped out of the loop, sorry.
Everyone else, will catch up this week, but bluebell, that sounds like a similar situation all round...
DH has been annoying me, mainly because he hasn't been here much, we've had a grand total of two days together (i.e. two days where I've had anyone to share the baby monotony) in the last three and a half weeks - and one of those is because I had a completely out of character freak out about it all and couldn't stop crying at 8am one morning, resulting in him not going to work. Mortified and embarrassed is an understatement
The rational part of my brain thinks this is a combination of the end of the 'fourth trimester' and an overwhelming feeling like we should be adjusting to the new normal now, the fact that somehow it's October (how?! And cold & dark) and a lack of intimacy (too tired and grumpy to dtd. Doesn't really help much does it though, when you get up in the morning and feel like your day consists solely of feeding/changing/entertaining and washing/tidying/scrubbing yellow baby poo out of mini clothes.
Sigh. I find myself wishing that I lived in older times and my only expectations of myself were to look after the house and children.

On a more positive note, went back for the two week weight check and all fine. Saw a different HV at the clinic who apologised to me for the other HV making me feel like it was all on the verge of going wrong. Nearly cried all over again with relief and almost hugged her. Mortified all over again.

Off to add more tissues to the shopping list...

Yep I'm totally feeling the same way blue. I think we put pressure on ourselves to fit too much into a day sometimes. I'm trying to make my DH understand that when I'm home alone with E it can take all day to get even the basic jobs done. All those 10min jobs add up to a manic hour or two of housework during nap time leaving no time for doing anything pleasant. I used to love cooking but it's become a burden and a chore now. Luckily my DH is very understanding but he finds my occasional meltdowns difficult too! Still haven't dtd yet When do other people find the time/energy!?

Glad you had a nice HV this time ruby I'd heard they can be a bit crap but all the ones I've seen are great so far.

As far as dtd goes I think we have done it twice in the 14 weeks since Sophie was born. Dh has rolled over to me a few times when I've brought baby up to bed at about half 11 but I say no I'm sleeping since I'm the one who gets up at 6-7 with her again and am awake when she has a murmur or wriggle. Have told him evenings while she's asleep 8ish til half 10 is his window!

Hello!

How is everyone today? Sorry I've fallen off as had a really busy few days.

I had a great birthday weekend, lots of family and friends and flowers! Got a gorgeous cake my sis made me and got some lovely present from DH including a beautiful handbag that's big enough to take a few baby essentials in

blue I'm so sorry your DH is being hard. I know I said it before but I think it's a huge adjustment period for everyone. I also don't think they quite get how hard it is trying to get stuff done with a baby all day. Grace still won't be put down apart from in her swing chair for ten mins so I try get as much done then as poss! I've left her once for 30 mins to go to Tesco. DH totally understands and keeps telling me it doesn't matter that the house isn't immaculate and that I'm not cooking up a storm every night. The 'we' thing reminds me that DH will often say 'someone left the door unlocked.' 'Someone didn't turn the TV off' I'm always say clearly it was me as it's only you and I here! It's so passive aggressive drives me mad.
I hope the feeding calms down, sounds like a dreaded growth spurt.

juf that is some impressive feeding skills! Not sure I could manage that! Never heard of the vitamin d thing?

ruby sending you a hug. I think back the day women didn't work as much so helped each other out, now everyone has to work unless they've a baby at which point they understandably can't help much! I'm at the point now where I do the minimum needed. I try out a load of washing on everyday and then do another job I.e dust or Hoover. As much as I love to do it all in one blitz it's impossible at the moment. Re dinners DH hates cooking so I do it which does annoy me. But I'm just doing basic meat and veg sometimes a bit of pesto and pasta if I'm feeling jazzy lol. It's not forever, just get through these first 6 months best you can, then things tend to get much better and you'll get more time.

tams are you feeling better? We all need a rant so don't worry!

ellarose I bet you have them full! I have 19 month gap and have no time but at least DD1 can play on her own, watch a Disney film for 20 mins! Hope you're ok?

Re weight loss... last week was a write off due to bday. Need to get back into walking as didn't do much last week so off out with the girls this morning for an hour I think.

Re DTD I'm too exhausted and my cervix is still tender, even though I had a section! It's just not a priority for me at the moment!

Forgot to say 11 weeks today!

anna oh my lord that babygrow is so cute! Where's it from? (Obviously not as gorge as little grace). Glad bday went well :) how are you feeling now? I think the first milestones like birthdays and Christmas etc will be the hardest but it will get less painful

ruby don't be embarrassed, I've had the occasional meltdown with tears - it's a build up of all the stress and hormones!

bluebell

1. dtd - twice in 14 weeks - very sore both times, I wasn't really interested but dp was sulking... I had the coil in last week (OUCH) and dtd again at the weekend - still sore but not as bad as first 2 times. I'm too tired to dtd tbh but it does make dp very Mardy so I relent sometimes when I know I could get in the mood.
2. arguing - yep, same here. Bickering loads, dp acting as though the baby is a nice little addition to his life whereas my life has changed completely. It really resonates what your friend said about them just wandering off but us having to say - will you do x/watch the baby while I.... - I've not been able to put it into words but that is what I'm finding hardest.
3. passive aggressiveness - dp is the king of this and hidden criticism so that if I say don't criticise/don't act like that he can deny all knowledge. I hit the roof last weekend and told him he knew full well what he was doing and he could piss off if he was going to continue because I already have one baby to deal with. He apologised later , I couldn't believe it!

On the other side of the coin However, he is really stressed. Work is manic and he's been having problems with pains in his head. He finally saw a consultant last week and they think he has some sort of growth in his head, potentially a benign brain tumour. So really scary stuff:( trying to keep positive as consultant was very reassuring he doesn't think it's cancerous yet but he is obviously terrified and this is not helping keep things calm at home. Just gotta wait for his MRI scan in a couple of weeks so we know more clearly what he's dealing with