July 2016 #2

[Bluebell20]

A new thread as we (hopefully) move towards longer sleeps and lovely little smiles!

Happened to notice in the calendar that it's only two months until Halloween 👻 Can't wait to get jasper a little pumpkin costume!

Yes me Indians!!

I get irrationally fuming about my pfb being handed back To me stinking of other people's perfume

I just let them get on with it unless he looks as if he's about to cry. Then I take him back. But generally he'll be quite chilled about it for a little while. And I think it's good for him to get used to being looked after by different people - will make it easier for me further down the line. But it's totally a personal preference thing. If you're not comfortable with it, just say no. If you feel the need for an excuse, you could always just say something like that she hasn't slept well and you're trying not to get her too over-excited today.

I can't believe it Ben was awake for 9-10 hours today in a row!! He's finally asleep now. He hasn't been irritable just taking in what's going on around him and smiling lots. He must be knackered!

indians not particularly twitchy about baby passing. Got mil staying and she's spent most of today telling me why dd is unsettled today. Most of it complete rubbish. She's probably unsettled because instead of being stimulated, played with and taken to different parts of the house while she's awake, mil has shushed and rocked her to sleep every time she has woken. I now have a confused, tired and wide awake baby who will only sleep in my arms and only for a short time before screaming. Argh! We usually get on but she's driving me insane at the moment.

Ooh Tams, that's really annoying! If only people could be a bit more understanding of what the mother wants - grrr. I think I've been quite lucky (so far) with most people in that respect.

I feel a bit mean now. It wouldn't usually bother me that she was rocking dd and things (other than the telling me what I should do and what is wrong with dd all the time). I think part of it is tiredness.

Gosh, it's very quiet here - where is everyone today?! Hope you've all had a nice bank holiday, whatever you've been up to. Jasper went to his first brunch party this morning and his first rock concert this afternoon xx

Hi guys, sorry I've been a bit quiet - got a bit emotional over this breastfeeding malarkey. Had an NCT friend come over today to show me her latching method - basically involves squashing the nipple to get as much in baby's mouth as poss, then releasing to force baby's mouth open with the released flesh. It kind of worked! Not perfect, but enough to give me some hope. I'm seeing the health visitor tomorrow so plan on getting her to give me some help too. However, we now have formula in stock because I am barely keeping one step ahead with the expressing - earlier tonight I actually had nothing banked in the fridge. Thankfully I managed to express before he got hungry again.

Errrr got to go, will type the rest of this later but posting now in case I lose it!

My sister and her kids are up visiting for a week - staying at my mums. I now do not want to go to my mums until they have gone. Brat doesn't even come close to describe those children.

Every 10 seconds I've got a 9 year old demanding to hold the baby and a 5 year old offering me parenting advice and putting toys in his mouth! Sisters reaction 'don't do that kids' which they don't listen to and do whatever the hell they like, including waking the baby on several occasions with their loud screaming arguments. Puts me off having a second child completely.

In other news, the comfort milk seems to be working well, Adam seems much more settled and happier in the evenings. Also were not seeing the crying so much when he needs a poo. Downside is that I'm getting more dirty nappies with runnier, smellier and greener poos in them. But I'd rather that than the wee man be in pain.

Bluebs - if I've got lots to say, I type my posts in "Notes" on my phone and then paste them into MN afterwards. Means I don't lose them if the internet blips, and also means I can see everyone else's posts while I'm typing. Glad you've had some success with bf today, and good luck with the HV tomorrow.

Sock - good luck with the brat-avoidance efforts

Thanks indians. I know she's trying to help but it's now at the point where I'm probably over sensitive about it.

julfin first rock concert - wow! Did Jasper enjoy it?

bluebell sounds like you're doing an amazing job. Hope you get the help you want soon. Don't let anybody force you into something you aren't happy with though. Formula is great if you want or need it (dd is on formula) but if you want to keep going with bf then keep looking for the help. I have a friend who is seriously considering stopping bf but her dh keeps telling her how well she's been doing with bf. I think he's trying to be supportive but she then feels guilty about considering formula. Do what you want and what's best for the two of you - whatever that is. Hope the hv is helpful tomorrow!

sock sounds like a nightmare! How much longer are they staying?

Sock - it's like that constantly in my house. 7 year old daughter will not leave the baby alone despite the 6 weeks of being told. Her heads in the Moses basket, pram, next to him on the changing mat, kissing him etc. She loves her brother but is also so jealous. It's doing my head in. Back to school in another week then Daniel will get a little peace. Love her so much but so hard splitting myself between them both and he's so much easier to look after. Xx

They're here until Sunday then they're away back down. There's no kids around for them to play with as we're all back to school now so it's been a wee shame on them too. I'm just making sure I have plenty to do for the next wee while so I can make my excuses!

Morning all! Lovely pics and news though sorry to hear of the bank holiday irritation of interfering relatives etc. We've had a really quiet one doing stuff with the house (duvet inventory anyone?) with the odd visit from friends.
Claudia been thirstier too recently from her one formula feed in the evening when I can gauge quantities. She also hasn't done a poo since Thursday so will need to do some vigorous bicycle legs tmw!
Can't believe it's Sept so soon. I have to start prepping my Xmas cake recipe ( half joking).

Morning Elliz

I'm wide awake and it isn't because Rose is. My other Dd (3) woke in the night which she has been doing for a couple of months. Only this time, she shouted "someone came into my room, it was really scary" in between huge sobs. To cut a long story short, it's news to me that she's been having nightmares. DH didn't say that was the reason she's been waking although he admits he knew. I thought it was adjusting to the new baby. I'm pretty pissed off that our poor Dd has been frightened in the night when a simple nightlight could have been purchased to make her feel safe. Recently I've been feeling that it'd be easier to handle literally everything by myself. Although I'd have had to get up to Dd many times with Rose attached to my boob, the problem would likely be resolved by now.

I'm beginning to really resent my DH for things like this. I find myself wondering a) is he too stupid to realise that I need to know that Dd is having nightmares? b) why has he not thought to get her a night light? Is it that he doesn't care or is he too stupid to see the obvious potential solution?
He's an intelligent man but he seems to walk around in this little bubble without any real thought for others. I can't work out if it's stupidity, pure selfishness/not caring or perhaps thoughtlessness.
Yesterday, for example, he ran up our uncarpeted stairs, in smart shoes, at 7:30am. This woke Rose, which of course meant we both had to get up despite bring up half the night. Why he had his shoes on I don't know! Why he felt the need to run, I don't know either. I'd love to hear your thoughts ladies. Is anyone else experiencing this? It makes me feel like he doesn't care one iota about me. I want to think that he does. His actions so often tell a different story though.

It saddens me that the only thing that is stressful in my life at the moment is him. I'm very lucky that he works and provides for the family but I'm feeling more and more that I'd be much happier on my own with the kids in a tiny poky flat and living a very frugal lifestyle.

Am I just tired and upset? I probably am. I very nearly left him after Dd was born. Things did get better as she got older.

Sorry for the rant

Rose is a constant delight in happier news. She's easygoing and beautiful and cuddly and funny. She's pretty easy to take care of. I'm so grateful for her easy temperament. She's a tonic, as is Dd1 when I'm finding DH trying.

Morning Floss!

Sorry you're having such a rough time with DH. I can sympathise with the idea of him being the most stressful issue to deal with (rather than the baby). I've only had to deal with my DH at weekends though, because I've been staying with my folks during the week. He hasn't bonded with jasper at all, which I'm finding quite sad (although not unexpected). Hopefully things will improve when we're spending more time at home (although I suspect that actually he'll just find that harder).

Re yours, from what you've said it sounds to me like he's just being very thoughtless, rather than anything intentional. Some people can only focus on one thing at a time (e.g. whatever it was that he needed to do upstairs, rather than also thinking about the impact of his actions/noise on other people). And some people genuinely don't think of long-term solutions like a nightlight but just deal with the short-term problem i.e. comforting DD when she has nightmares, and then just going back to sleep. If I were you, I'd try to have a calm conversation with him (not easy!) and explain to him that you really need him to be more thoughtful/considerate/helpful.

I'd be interested to hear others' views.

I'm glad that at least you are enjoying the girls and finding them relatively easy to deal with.

Big hugs to you! I hope things get better.

Morning Floss!

Sorry you're having such a rough time with DH. I can sympathise with the idea of him being the most stressful issue to deal with (rather than the baby). I've only had to deal with my DH at weekends though, because I've been staying with my folks during the week. He hasn't bonded with jasper at all, which I'm finding quite sad (although not unexpected). Hopefully things will improve when we're spending more time at home (although I suspect that actually he'll just find that harder).

Re yours, from what you've said it sounds to me like he's just being very thoughtless, rather than anything intentional. Some people can only focus on one thing at a time (e.g. whatever it was that he needed to do upstairs, rather than also thinking about the impact of his actions/noise on other people). And some people genuinely don't think of long-term solutions like a nightlight but just deal with the short-term problem i.e. comforting DD when she has nightmares, and then just going back to sleep. If I were you, I'd try to have a calm conversation with him (not easy!) and explain to him that you really need him to be more thoughtful/considerate/helpful.

I'd be interested to hear others' views.

I'm glad that at least you are enjoying the girls and finding them relatively easy to deal with.

Big hugs to you! I hope things get better.

Ha ha Indians, I think Rose is Hallie's biggest rival in the Best Hair competition!

flossie sorry to hear your dh is being a dick. Can you sit down and speak to him about what's upsetting you? My dh found it very difficult and hard going and lost his temper a lot. We have never really fought or fallen out but Adam was such a lifechanger that emotions ran high. He is crap when he hasn't had enough sleep (but if he were to have 'enough' sleep, we'd never see him). I told him I was really concerned about how he was coping and I think that almost shamed or shocked him into keeping his temper more and being a bit more helpful - not just spending all his time in the kitchen tidying up.