March 2016 - I can't think of a pithy title because I'm too sleep deprived :/

[DomesticAnarchist]

New thread?
Sorry, really couldn't think of something humorous!

Much more normal night last night. Up to feed at 11, 2 and 4.30. I realise to most of you that probably sounds awful but it's pretty usual for DS and a lot more bearable than every hour!!!

He's up again now but ought to go back down shortly with any luck.

Awful night here.
Up at 10:30,11:30,12:30,2:30 and up for the day at 4:30 and hasn't gone back down yet.
I put her on her play mat on the floor at 5 and she was fine until six so I dozed on and off until then.

The thing is she only ate at the 10:30 wake so if she could just stop waking up I'd have a baby who practically sleeps through! Not going to happen though. It's ridiculous how bad how her sleep is now though. If I'm totally honest I have never enjoyed dd and just have a feeling of dread every single day...really not enjoying my self at the moment :(

time I think a lot of people do actually feel that way about the baby stage it's just seen as taboo to mention it as you're supposed to feel that being a mum is the best thing ever.

And on no sleep everything feels shit. for you, it will get better I promise.

What time do you put her down for bed in the evening btw?

I'm another one with massive boobs - 32j! Also like maybe will just whap them out when she needs feeding in public it is my second though so feel much more confident about bf in public. Trijo have you tried going to a mum and baby yoga class or doing back stretches at home? My boobs are really huge but I don't have any back ache for the first time in my life (have struggled with back problems since I was a teenager) and can only assume it's because I started yoga a year ago and kept it up throughout pregnancy and post partum. But sorry to hear you're feeling touched out, it does get better though once they start solids. I totally get the whole your body not feeling like yours though. With dd1 when I stopped bf at 15 months partly it was motivated by her poor sleep but partly by the fact that I knew I wanted to try for another baby and I wanted to have my body back for a few months first!

Sorry to hear about sleep problems. We had the usual 3 wakes last night which normally I'm fine with but have caught dd2s cold and feel awful! And DH is leaving in two days for his work trip for 11 says. I don't know how I'm going to cope, worst timing to get a cold 😱

I also think a lot of people feel that way time. But all you seem to hear is how wonderful it is being a mummy and how everyone's babies sleep through the night! Have some

Her bed time varies because her naps very so much. Sometimes she can be napping at 5;30 still and sometimes she hasn't napped since midday.
She's just screamed the place down. She held her breath a few times to and started choking she was so hysterical. Somethings not right :( but the next doc app is the 21st July.
Gave her some calpol because I didn't know what to do.
Cried a bit when my other half went to work this morning. Feeling very tired to.

Also a bit annoyed my other half have her a tiny bit of baked bean sauce this morning ! She's 20 weeks now now and it was literally a pea sized amount but still argh I feel panicky about it. I asked him what the sauce was round her lips ! But doesn't she look proud. Butter wouldn't melt right.

Maybe- our average night is usually something like three feeds and a couple dummy runs which I expected around her age still. I don't mind three hourly wake ups but hate 1-2 hourly. Last night bedtime was 8:30pm because she had a nap at 5:45-6:30

C slept the night (9-7:30) but a rough night for me, think I'm coming down with something. Went from shaking with the cold to sweating like mad very quickly in the bed and was so engorged on my temperamental side I had to comfort pump at 5 because I couldn't sleep on that side or lean on it in any way.

Tri that sounds like mastitis! I'd get yourself to the doc ASAP.

I'd be so annoyed if DH did that time. Partly because I want to be there to see the look on DS's face the first time he has something other than milk.

She's just taken a ten minute nap and is now awake and won't be settled again... still yawning and rubbing her eyes though...
It's going to be a long day isn't it :( . She's had ten minutes since 4:30. My other half barely got any sleep either as he doesn't like going to the spare room as he would rather help me... which is nice but if rather him sleep so he feels better able to help me in the evenings tbh

Tri - ouch. I don't bf but I remember the pain when my milk came in and the sore boobs. Hope you feel better soon

I already had an appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning - worthwhile trying to get an emergency one or should I just wait?

I'd definitely try to get an appointment today if you can trijo and in the meantime pump on your bad side as not draining the boob can make it worse iirc.

time this is what I'm going to try to attempt to get DS's naps locked down a bit. I'm so not a routine person but like Calais he is a nightmare without proper quality naps so I haven't got much choice. It has worked brilliantly for one of my friends who was getting up every 45 mins in the night for her baby (on a good night!) and said baby had only about an hour's' sleep in total per day. Now she is down to 4/5 hours of naps and only two night wakings. It basically involves putting baby down for a nap in sleep space (so for us that's cot, swaddle, dummy, white noise, dark) the minute they start looking tired OR every 1.5 hours, whichever is soonest. If they don't go to sleep or get hysterical, you can get them up, but don't take them out of the room and keep it dark. Keep trying to put them down and keep doing this for as long as you would ideally want them to nap for (so an hour or whatever). At the end of the time you can remove them from the room. Repeat at next nap time. The idea is that by always being in their sleep space they get used to napping at certain times and having quiet time and eventually they go down easier. My friend had to do it consistently for about 2 weeks before she started to see results.

I have no idea if this will work for us but I'm knackered and willing to try anything - am sure you are too!

trijo I agree that sounds like mastitis, get to a doctor asap!

Much empathy for those having bad sleep. We're definitely in the 4 month regression too. T's 17 weeks and probably 15 lb (was 14 lb 7 oz two weeks ago), not rolling yet but always straining to sit up. She hates the pram, the car seat, and the regular buggy seat at all angles. The sling is still pretty good, so we go on the bus a lot. She's got her last set of baby jabs today, woo!

Someone was asking about managing with 2 kids. DS is 4 and I manage by having him in preschool every weekday morning and leaning heavily on MIL for a random afternoon or two each week. When I've got both of them on my own, we go out a lot. Evenings are military precision from 5-7 pm for DS dinner, tidy, bath, story, bed, and we're currently working T into that so she has a routine too. Of course it doesn't really work with her yet but it's laying the groundwork.

I'm still trying with bottles and sometimes a dummy. Nothing's worked yet.

Definitely try to get an appointment today tri, poor you. Keep feeding and pumping as much as you can, and try dangle feeding. When I had it someone on this thread, I think it might have been ffaux, suggested using a nappy full of hot water as a hot compress and it worked really well.

My hotmilk bra just arrived, I have honestly never been so comfortable! I've missed underwires and padding soooooo much. I've got a 32 year olds boobs again, not a 70 year old Thank you paper (i think) for the suggestion and code, am off to order another one!

Tri get yourself off to the GP asap! Hope it clears up quickly.

Time whilst it's very annoying of your DP to do the bean juice thing, I doubt it will be a problem for C. Remember my DS1 giving J cake when he was only a few weeks old? No lasting damage just a smug looking baby .

As we are doing boob talk...

After DS1 my boobs (34DD) went pretty much back to normal but after having J, it's like they have gone all flat and empty . I guess this is it now but I'm in mourning for my old boobs. No one told me this would happen after DS2!

Hope you're able to get to the doctors soon Tri and start feeling better soon. I've never had mastitis (thank god) but I've had a few lumpy bits that have been difficult to shift and started to make me feel a bit poorly. Hot compresses when you're pumping and cold compresses in between feeds/pumps to soothe. Yy to nappies beingredients good for this - you can also buy gel pads at boots which are very good.

Rhubarb my boobs are the same . I'm trying not to think about it for now but very much hoping that they will perk up again once I've stopped feeding. I dropped down by 1-2 cup sizes after ds1, god knows what I'm going to be left with by the time I've stopped bfing this baby .

Time what was your dp's rationale behind giving a 20 week old baked bean juice? I'm sure she'll be fine if it was only a tiny bit just once and in a few weeks you can start her on solids properly so you won't miss the important bit . W accidentally ate ice cream at 7 weeks. He was going through a stage of screaming if anyone but me held him. He was lying on my lap, ice cream slid off spoon, he opened his mouth at the wrong moment and a tiny bit went in . He looked a bit shocked but he survived it!

MShip it was me who asked about coping with 2 dcs. I'm doing the same thing with the very strict routine between 5-7. It has been working for us with getting the baby in a routine. I wish wish wish I'd got ds1 into a nursery just for 2 or 3 mornings a week before I went on mat leave. I feel like I'm constantly saying 'don't squeeze the baby please...no I don't think he likes it when you play cars on his head...do NOT put your crayon in his eye please'. Ds1 is only 2 though so still just a baby himself. I think you were very wise you go for a bigger age gap!

No on the day appointments available :( Am in at 10am tomorrow anyway.

Went to the local children's centre first time parents group this morning, staying for the whole thing was a struggle but C appeared to be having the craic with another couple of 3 month olds.

trinpy I can't imagine a 2 year age gap, though I know it's common. Tbh we were certain we were one and done till DS was almost 3, he was such a challenging baby (lovely toddler and preschooler though!). Then I got pregnant unexpectedly, and although I miscarried at 8 weeks, we were both surprised at how positive we felt, and decided to try again after I'd had one normal period. That was my last period... ... got pregnant again first cycle and it hasn't come back now I'm breastfeeding. This time we'll be making sure of no more surprises, DH is going for the snip when T is one.

TriJo take it easy today and if it gets really bad tonight don't hesitate to call ooh. Mastitis is a right bitch and prompt treatment is needed.

My boobs are ruined and DS is my first and I only bfed him for 2 weeks! Within weeks of getting my BFP they had ballooned by 2 cup sizes and now they are just deflated. Look ok with a bra on but as soon as it comes off they spread out like pancakes I joke with DH that they're not quite yet looking like tennis balls in socks but not far off!

One of my NCT group is already trying for no 2! I think she's mad. DH is not keen on the idea of another one ever, and he rarely changes his mind. After my horror show of a birth I felt the same, now the memories are fading (as everyone said they would!) and I can see myself having another but certainly not for a good long while. DS is such an easy baby compared to many - sunny temperament and good sleeper - that I half think we should just stick with him as no one is that lucky twice in a row!

Tri do you still have a fever? You could also go to a walk in centre if there's one near you? Though I know it's a bit of a pain when you have a baby with you.

Yeah I don't know what I was thinking with the 2 yr age gap Mship. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Was there someone else on here who had a 2 or 3 yr gap? 4 yrs is nice because they are still close enough in age to be friends growing up but the eldest is just that little bit more grown up. Plus only one set of childcare fees which is always nice!

4 years apart here and think it's an easier age gap as Trinpy says.

Me both of mine have been 'easy' (good sleepers, good eaters, pretty chilled) babies so you might be lucky!

Oh no trijo hope you get sorted soon. I second mship's advice. Good memory swear, it was me who mentioned the nappies as hot compress!

Oh time I really feel for you, is she in the 4 month sleep regression? I know she's always been a bad sleeper but that could be making it worse right now. Or in the 4th leap? I just try and repeat 'this too shall pass' in difficult moments. Hope you start to enjoy it more soon, you really deserve a break after everything you have been through

Also, We're kind of doing what maybe suggested (just not at the same times every day) and has been getting better slowly.

DD suddenly hates all slings and carriers etc unless she's really really tired then just cries herself to sleep in one, but wakes within 20 mins. She just wants to see everything now so do you think she will enjoy them more when she can be placed facing outwards?

I've been thinking a lot about whether we would want a second child and how we would cope, so it's been really interesting hearing about how you all manage it. Worried about money mainly though, as well as being fairly ancient

We've got a three and a half year gap, it's nice as ds is independent enough to cope when I'm stuck feeding the baby etc - goes to the toilet alone, can put a DVD on, etc. I did worry the gap would be too big, especially after a mmc in between where it felt like the gap was stretching bigger and bigger. We also haven't ruled out a third, and I don't like the idea of a super huge gap between 1 and 3. I don't regret it, but think the benefits of a smaller gap would be easier days out as the same type of thing will be appropriate for both, and the older one not really remembering a time before the youngest. There's no ideal I don't think.