March 2016 - I can't think of a pithy title because I'm too sleep deprived :/

[DomesticAnarchist]

New thread?
Sorry, really couldn't think of something humorous!

Yeah, the toilet training thing is a major advantage of a >3 year gap. DS is still not dry at night, but goes during the day on his own. It was a long hard fight to get there, and unfamiliar toilets are still a nightmare, but it's so much better.

Unfortunately we'll have 5-6 months of double fees as we're in Scotland so DS doesn't start P1 till August 2017, but it's manageable. I wanted a nanny for that time but it's too expensive coming right after the year of leave so T will go to the same nursery as DS. It's lovely, I just wish she wasn't going to be exposed to all the viruses so early, but then I guess she'll get everything from DS anyway!

Same here mship, ds is September born so doesn't go to school until September 2017. No idea what we're going to do for childcare as ds's lovely childminder is stopping and there is only one other who drops to the school he does his preschool hours at. I don't know whether to find another childminder and move him as it's likely he'll go to school wherever he goes to preschool.

DS had a total meltdown out on a walk. I had to carry him and push the pushchair for most of it. You know when you feel like everyone is staring... I was crying too by the time we got home. He'd not long woken from a nap and been fed so I thought we were safe

FS don't worry! Virtually every parent has been there, some of us it felt like every time we were out. I couldn't bloody stand baby groups or classes because it was always DS howling.

Thanks Mship. I feel the same way about baby groups - given up trying them now!

We've got a 2 and a bit year age gap and it was tough at first but I really wanted a small age gap between my first two kids. We've potty trained dd1 now which has made things easier. It is tough some days but ive kept dd1 in nursery three days a week and mil looks after her one day so only Fridays where I have them both and I've gradually got into a routine with them.

Me I had a horror of a first birth a bit like yours, back to back baby and in labour two days, ended up with episiotomy and very narrowly missed ventouse, so I sympathise with feeling apprehensive about another. However it's true what they say it's much easier second time round and my labour with dd2 was great. I never believed in the whole 'positive birth' idea or that it could be manageable but second time round it really was, I felt hugely positive about it, it was very relaxed and calm and I never felt out of control like I did with my first. My body seemed to know what to do whereas first time round it didn't!

I definitely want a third. I wouldn't be gutted if it didn't turn out that way but definitely want to try. I'll aim for a longer gap next time - 3 years, maybe 4 depending on money but optimal for me would be 3 years. I'm only 30 (almost 31) so have plenty of time anyway.

Re age gaps I want a relatively big one - at least 4 years if not 5. I'm 27 so I have time. There are 4/5 years between each of my siblings and we're all really close.

I really want to try for no 2...DH will take some convincing. I'm not sure if we can afford it (need to do some real financial planning before I can write the idea off completely) and I will be at least 43 when I have no 2.

M was a complete blessing so a second would be lovely if we can make it work.

Well we have a 7 year gap here, not through choice, but so far it's working well. Ds is so helpful with E and also very self sufficient. I took them both up to town yesterday (his teacher was on strike ) to see the changing of the guard and picnic in the park and he was great helping me on and off the train and making E laugh. The downside is they will never be great mates but maybe like you there are five years between me and my siblings, I have a ten year gap between me and my youngest brother and we get on well so hopefully they do too. No more for us either, E was our miracle and I'm 39 now

Time sorry to hear sleeping isn't great. I've realised too I prefer toddlers to babies which is quite heartbreaking because I've longed for a baby for so long and sometimes I feel like I'm wishing her life to sped past.

Trijo hope you get sorted soon, it sounds nasty. Does the Savoy cabbage help to ease mastitis? I used lots when E decided not to bf and it really took the heat out of my boobs.

My boobs are now 38c/d. Before ds I was a 34c, I then went to a 36c and now I'm 38. So my boobs aren't bigger but my rib cage and fat back are. I try not to look at my boobs braless, it's just depressing.

Did someone start slimming world a while back? I feel so podgy so have decided to ease myself in and do it every other day. I need to wean myself off the chocolate pick me up I have each night but am too tired to find the will power for cold turkey!

Re age gaps - we want a relatively small one. I have a deferred ballot spot for the 2017 London Marathon that I intend to use, we're considering TTC after that.

In a bit more pain this evening but feeling less shaky. Ibuprofen and paracetamol doing fuck all.

Bum, I'd started a post earlier and it's gone now.

Re: age gaps. After DS1 we were adamant we'd never have another. Pregnancy was awful (birth was actually fine!) and DS1 was an angry, high needs baby who's still a highly strung 5 year old (who had massive tantrums in front of the whole school yesterday). But, biology caught up with me and we eventually decided to have another.

We also couldn't have afforded two full-time childcare places (or for one of us to stop working, and part-time is financially ludicrous). Which confirmed the 5 year gap. And I have to say, this age gap (so far) is working brilliantly. DS1 can almost be trusted to watch DS2 for a few minutes while I'm in the shower, hanging washing etc. But I do still find myself saying "don't squash his head" etc as someone up thread does! He's old enough to understand the shift in attention, etc. too.

Ah, that was it. Sympathies for Time. I've mentioned that DS1 was is hard work. Some babies just are. It was some consolation for me that he was is also difficult for the childminder (who is a baby-whispering-goddess of childcare). So it really isn't us (apart from the genes that make him so... determined!). And to reassure me further, so far DS2 is a far more placid baby!

We are also done at two children. Though I'm enjoying DS2 so much I'd happily do it again and again! But realistically, two is plenty!

I think I'm done with 2 but I'm still very young (27) so there's time to change my mind. Dh is saying no more but he loves babies so I think I think he would probably consider a 3rd if it's what I wanted. The memories of pregnancy and birth are still a bit too fresh in my memory to want any more babies for a few years yet though!

Sleep at 8, awake at 10,12,2,4 and I'm hurdling 6 too what a horrid night.
Doesn't help that I fell asleep at 8:30 and dp woke me up at 9:30 because he couldn't sleep and so wanted to dtd. I was fuming, if I woke him up he'd be so mad. Needless to say he didn't get any and started commenting on how I never come onto him anymore - sometimes it's ok to want to tell them where to go right?!
Hope the rest of you are having a much bether nights sleep!

I feel like a giant arsehole but I woke up C myself overnight to get him to feed from my dodgy boob... he would have slept straight through otherwise while I end up in more pain. Actually slept ok though apart from that so I'm less zombie-like this morning thankfully.

D had his jabs yesterday and was a bit under the weather and had a slight temp so gave calpol etc. This morning he is covered head to toe in little red spots. I'm desperately trying to get him an apointment. Has this happened to anyone else? To make it worse dh is ill and being a twat.

Oh wow q my DH would definitely be getting a piece of my mind if he woke me to ask me to dtd! Sometimes men just don't have a fricking clue.. DH was the same after dd1, I remember having to explain to him that no, I wasn't coming on to him so much anymore as I was tired, my bits were sore and it wasn't all about him. Was a very stressful time. This time round he's been a lot more chilled (still asks for it often but doesn't get stressed at me saying no) and I think it's because though our sex life suffered after dd1, we did eventually get it back on track.

Awful nights sleep here, dd2 had her usual three wakes (11, 2.30, 4.30) but my head cold has gotten worse and after the 2.30 wake j just couldn't sleep. Really wanted paracetamol but couldn't face getting out of bed to get it.

On the plus side despite feeling shit I've managed to lose three pounds this week after three weeks of minimal/no loss. I'm still 3 pounds over my bfp weight and 7 pounds over my pre pregnancy low but getting there gradually. All the fat is on my belly though, and my stomach muscle gap is still 2cm despite all my core work. Think I have to accept my muscles will never get much smaller than that

Omg Q I would have killed him! DP I think understands I feel really unsexy atm - huge leaking boobs, ugly C section scar, overhang - eugh!!!!

I put on 4 stone during pregnancy and still have a stone and a half to lose. Way, way too knackered to exercise so just watching what I eat.

Good night last night (well, for us!). Bed at 6pm. Feeds at 10, 1, 4 and up for the day at 7.30.

marmite I'm exactly the same as you! 1lb over my bfp weight and half a stone off where I'd like to be, but have a pot belly that won't shift my yoga instructor checked my stomach muscles and said there's no separation but it still doesn't seem to be shifting. I guess pregnancy just changes your shape?

Q I would have murdered him!

On age gaps we have just over 2 years, its ok but I do rely on cbeebies more than before we had dd! Ds goes to nursery 2 days and mil 2 days, mainly because i didn't want him to think that after dd arrived everything changed for him. The only thing that I wish he was a bit older is that he's 2.5 and not potty trained yet, if we didn't have dd I think we would have done it but he sometimes tells me he's a baby not a big boy which I think is a bit of jealousy so I don't think it would go very well also none of my nct group have done it yet despite only one of them having a 2nd child so I don't feel too bad!

q your dh is either brave or stupid!

wooden probably just a reaction to the jabs but I would also be desperately trying to get an appointment. Would probably try 111 if I couldn't get through to the Dr.

Wooden we haven't had the third lot of jabs yet so not sure about the rash. Like MrsE says I would think it's a reaction but I would also be getting it checked out.

Q to dh. Men are selfish pigs sometimes and really do think the world revolves around them.

Marmite are you the other poster doing slimming world or have I got that wrong? I've started today and just eaten a portion of shreddies that is half my normal portion. I'm two stone heavier than I'd like to be though so I need to do something. Well done on your weight loss, that is fab. I never really regained my figure after ds but my stomach did flatten more but it took time and not just exercise. Seemed like things just needed to shift back into their places. Don't forget it took us all 9 months to grow these babies so we can't expect to snap back into our old figures in 4 months unless you are incredibly lucky

wooden we had the last baby jabs yesterday too, I'll keep an eye out for spots. Most likely it's an unrelated viral rash, but definitely get it checked.

Morning all,

Q that is one audacious husband. Even if I was 22 without babies I'd be pretty incandescent about being woken up for sex. What an idiot!

I've been using MyFitnessPal for calorie counting, and have got down to the top end of normal. However, my thighs and arse (and wobbly belly) are still a size bigger so I've given in and ordered some work trousers in the bigger size! I need to do some exercise but I'm exam marking at the mo so sitting at a computer most of the day and evening (with DS2 in the carrier normally!).

I finish marking on Monday and am back in work then too, so hopefully that'll help sort things out. I confess I've got really slack with restricting the massive consumption. Trying to keep going for DH, who has a lot to lose still.

Speaking of which, DH starts his shared leave today. Somehow he's managed to get today and tomorrow off, so we're off together. It means he's in baby duty today while I mn work. Hoping for a straightforward transition for him & DS2 ahead of Monday.

Wooden we had our 3rd lot of jabs yesterday too no rash here but will keep an eye, I'd get it checked as others said too just for peace of mind.

Sympathies q, he sounds like mine. They just don't get it.

I'm having a frustrating morning. Finally booked a long overdue haircut so am trying to pump so I can leave the baby with dh. Got the pump out this morning, sterilised it all, bought bags etc, and it's not working it's definitely the pump itself as it's not working with the plug or with the battery pack. I really don't want to buy a new one, the amount I'm likely to use it!

wooden this happened to W after his 12 week jabs. He also had a high temperature for 48 hrs before the rash appeared and was very distressed so I called ooh doc who sent us to the pediatric assessment unit for observation and...

It was nothing. Rash was 'classic viral' apparently and it was all most likely just a bad reaction.

Definitely get a gp app if poss but don't worry too much. Does it fade when you press on it?