March 2016 Babies Thread #11 - We've got smiley babies, screaming babies and farty babies!

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This time last year....my nephew was days away from being born, I was planning a wedding and looking forward to that holiday.....little did I know that I would fly home with a little souvenir

Hey everyone.

I have to admit I haven't been following on here but I hope everyone is ok

As for me... it's been almost three weeks since he walked out, and this is the first contact weekend... ironically he'd have had far less "contact" with them if he'd stayed!

Today I leave Nancy with him for an hour, which I'm dreading, but she will not be put down anymore so maybe it'll do me good.

He has been nothing but rude, selfish, childish and sarcastic with me. He has phoned me then hung up on me when I said I was busy. He's pissed about with maintenance, then said he'd take the car if I went to the CSA. I've now bought my own car and next step is to go to the CSA, but for some reason I keep putting it off. He didnt even speak to our DD on her birthday or get her a present. (Congrats btw marmite - I think you got married the same day!).

I'm always terrified of upsetting him for some reason, which must speak volumes about our relationship... every time I have dealings with him now it brings my mood right down.

While he has treated me like a piece of dog shit he stepped in, I have remained dignified, civil, calm, fair and happy (Paper can vouch for this!). ive faciliated contact and left him well alone. It is incredibly hard to keep this up but I want to be able to look back and know that I did everything for my children and held my head up high.

beau great to hear from you again and sorry to hear he has been such a git. Well done on not being goaded into equally poor behaviour. I know I'd never be able to faced with such provication. I hope you have some lovely plans for your hour even if lovely is just a bath or a lie down right now.

Thank you french. Is it you with the hair? Hope it's looking nice. I desperately need mine done! My plans are to maybe window shop if I'm in the mood, or just sit!

beaut sorry to hear his proving himself to be so petty and childish. You're doing amazingly for your brood and let him prove what an idiot he is. Hope your dd had a lovely birthday even if someone didn't make the effort.

beaut not me with the hair but it is the pic I took when I got it cut 5 days ago so the hair is pretty close. It was looking terrible with about 10 weeks growth, feels so good to have it done again.

Ugh we are all struggling after a tough night. DS's sleeping is very predictable - he sleeps very soundly for the first stretch but then moves from deep sleep into light sleep and thrashes around for the rest of the night. I have to keep putting his dummy in which is the only thing that calms him and stops him from waking up. (He will not be swaddled and never has - he just screams and screams.) The hard part is that the time he starts thrashing seems to be getting earlier and earlier - it used to be 3/4am, then it was 1/2am, last night it was 11.30! So I'd barely had an hour's proper sleep myself.

I think half the problem is we are disturbing him as much as he's disturbing us. I creep around carefully when I go upstairs and take him in with us but when DH comes to bed he makes so much noise even when he's trying to be quiet (typical man) and it makes DS stir. Also our bed creaks really badly and so whenever DH turns over it makes him stir then as well. I'm considering putting him in his own room but he's so tiny still, just 10.5 weeks, I really don't feel comfortable doing that just yet. But I can't continue for much longer the way we are - I'm awake every 45 minutes or so to put his dummy back in which is killer!

Beaut it's nice to hear from you again and well done for being the bigger person. DH sounds like a complete idiot but good on you for making sure the DC still have contact with him. And definitely go to the CSA if he messes you around about maintenance. Did you manage to get the rent sorted - is he paying it?

Loving all the pixie cuts. I've always wanted to try a pixie cut but never had the guts. Now is definitely not the time to try it - my face is still a little too round for my liking - really need to drop this last half a stone!

Hi Beaut, good to 'see' you. Sorry to hear he's continuing to be an arse.

After DS2 finally conked out about 9:15 last night I was inspired by marmite to nip out with the C25K app. I survived! But this morning I'm aching!

I think I've got a bit of post-partum SPD - my pubic bone has been a bit twingy since I got moving around a bit more post-birth, and this morning it's really sore! I have a feeling the only treatment for it will be rest. But I really need to exercise to tighten up the wobbly bits! Any ideas?

Hello everyone 🙂

beaut So good to hear from you, I've been thinking of you often (not in a creepy way😉) in fact I think of most of you at random points! I can't decide if I really need to get out and find some real life mum friends or if I'm quite happy being a bit of a recluse.

All the hair talk! I think it's time for me to start looking decent again so on Friday we went for a consultation at the local hairdressers, having a baby with me made me so much more confident than I normally am, all the ladies were desperate for a cuddle and chat whereas normally I just ask for a trim. Next Friday I'll be getting this awful dry mess sorted and coloured. I would LOVE a pixie cut but have too much of a moon face 😳 Big jaw and small mouth.

magpie I'm up for getting on with couch to 5k. I was more of a cyclist up until 3 months pregnant but need to do SOMETHING. Also, getting out of the house and away from G would be a bit liberating.

Q with the boob feeding I find my friends kids madly curious and full of questions. They are farm kids though so not remotely squeamish "Yes K, I am like a mammy sheep." 😄 Then lots of discussion about how she will grow some boobies like me and mummy but at four she still has growing to do. At least your mate didn't just shush them up all embarrassed and explained it to them. Also, what's the 30 day shred and what do you do for it? I am half a stone over my pre Pregnancy weight but needed to lose a stone on that anyway.

paper and dobby* I'm with you on the dry skin and peely nails, even drinking flipping pints of water a day I still feel like a dry husk.

Ok, I think I've typed enough of an essay. 😳

Good to hear from you Beautiful, sorry your husband is still being such a douche. I hope you manage to enjoy your hour today, don't spend it worrying. From your post you sound so strong and on top of things, I hope that's the case.

Another one desperate for a haircut here. I thought before she was born that I should get it cut so I wouldn't need to with a newborn - my hair is straight and typically bra strap length so I can leave it quite a while before it looks bad, but it tangles easily when it gets too long so needs doing every few months. No pixie cut for me, I have a small head and long face and with my body being bigger than usual at the moment it would be even more noticeable. I was thinking of getting a mobile hairdresser to come out to me, I did it a few times when ds still hated haircuts, it's cheaper too.

I've only ever had interested questions on the boob feeding too. Only time anyone has ever hinted at it being anything other than normal was when feeding ds at my mum's house when he was a baby, my step sister was visiting and although I went in the other room to feed my nieces were coming in and asking questions. Dh told me later that my step sister had been worrying about what they might see and my mum (nct breastfeeding counsellor back in the day) just immediately shut it down with a firm 'well actually I think it's important that they see how normal it is'

Beaut what a fab example you are setting to your dc's and what a fool he is to walk out on such an amazing lady.

My dh is really struggling with learning how to dress a girl, twice he's put dresses on back to front and today's effort was tights and a top with no skirt/dress etc! His excuse was he couldn't find matching leggings! Boy's clothes are much easier to match apparently.

We've got our first appointment to get Sylvie's feet cast tomorrow and I'm feeling really awful about it now. I was fine but started looking into it (just because I wanted to know what to dress her in and didn't know how big the casts were) and it seems to be so much more involved than they told us. We weren't told much at all but were given the impression she'd have casts for a few weeks and then she'd be all better, but it seems like most children end up in surgery and wearing boots with a bar between, some until they're five. I'm feeling all overwhelmed and tearful, dh is being horrible and keeps just saying 'it is what it is, just get on with it'. I just need reassurance! Or to be upset about it!

Sorry swear- hopefully its not as bad as you're imagining!

Today went very, very wrong. Long story short, I told him the kids needed to do some homework and I didn't have time to do it as it was his weekend - he refused. I tried to explain why they needed to do it and then his mum got involved saying we don't do "domestic issues" in front of the kids. I spoke again and out of nowhere his dad leapt up and shouted at me to get out of his fucking house. All this in front of the kids. I was so upset I didn't know what to do. Ex H grabbed Nancy off me and even though I still said he could have the hour he kept saying "just take her, just take her", all the while everyone glaring at me and his dad telling me to get out. I wanted to grab my children and run but I said bye to them and told them I loved them and I took Nancy out, with his dad slamming the door behind me ao loud. I felt so humiliated and now I'm absolutely gutted it's all like this. I hate them and I can't believe that in two weeks I have to deal with my ex husband again.

Oh beaut what a dreadful time of it you're having. You sound so strong, but you know it's ok not to put a brave face on it all the time. Do you have much of a support network? I know you mentioned before you don't have contact with your family? Do you have friends you can offload on? paper?! Hope so. Vent here as much as you need though, it's just not quite the same as a face and a real-life cuppa.

swear I looked into it too as weren't sure if we were going to need it (got away with just physio though thankfully for us). I've also seen the casts on a few babies before. They are chunky and heavy, I'll be honest. BUT the babies I've seen have been completely cured with them and not needed further intervention. When we saw the physios they said that even if he needed casting it would be a few weeks and that would fix it. Obviously it just depends on the severity but I think that a few weeks of casts is possibly all she'll need. Let us know how tomorrow goes.

C25k-ers, hello! wool have you downloaded the app? dom how's the pubic bone as the day has gone on? Some of you sound VERY fit in pre-preg lives... This talk of marathons and half-marathons doc and french is way above any level of fitness I've ever been at!

Wow Beautiful, what a ridiculous overreaction. Did you get on with his parents before? What bastards. Are your kids home now? Are they ok?

Thanks magpie, that is very reassuring! I can handle the casts if it's just for a few weeks, but the thought of months or even years, with more invasive methods, is horrible.

Ah, Beaut, that's so unbelievably awful. So sorry this is happening. He must've spun them a right old tale to give that reaction.

magpie - if eased off thanks, that and my knees just feel their normal level of 'granny'! (For the record, I only just managed a 5k last year and that's the fittest I've ever been. Hoping to improve on it at some point! though I have clearly NOT started P90 again).

Swear, I'm sure I heard a radio 4 bit (on Inside Health or something) saying they don't really do surgery any more as casts are so amazingly effective and have far fewer side effects. It was the UK's leading surgeon on it, I think. Try not to worry

Oh Beaut how truly awful it must have been for you, and how shitty that your Ex H and his family seem to be incapable of behaving like grown ups. Sending you virtual hugs xxx

Wow beaut can't believe what an arsehole your ex is being and wtf is going on with his parents behaving like that? Can only think either he's spun them some complete bs or they're just embarrassed by his shitty behaviour and taking it our on you. Think you are coping extremely well with it all - virtual hugs to you and as others have said, hope you have support IRL too.

beaut what an awful experient with your inlaws, I'm appalled they'd treat you this way, and in front of their grandchildren too! I hope you and the kids had a good night after such drama.

magpie a half marathon might be a good level of fitness but I worked up to the distance from being able to manage as little as a couple of minutes running. Pretty much the c25k approach. I do need a goal though to maintain exercise that isnt fun (I do find running a bit boring tbh) so a 5k may be just the ticket for now.

E has been a epic daytime napper over the last week after a wk6 growth spurt of feeding every 90-120mins. Nice to not feel as though a boob is constantly out. When awake she is really farty and vocal, lots of lovely noises though coos and gurgles usually used to describe baby noises dont quite fit. Sounds more happy/frustrated, eers, ahs and eeohs. Cute to mum and dads ears in any case.

beaut so sorry to hear of your situation and that ex H is being so awful. Just wanted to say my mum raised four of us alone (my Dad sounds quite similar to your ex) and has done an ace job. You are doing brilliantly and your relationship with your DCs as they all grow up will be proof of that . Chin up.

DS screamed for 75% of the day yesterday which is very very unlike him and also very stressful as PIL were visiting! He chilled out later in the day but took ages to drift off to sleep and woke at 1am and 4am which is annoying as prior to that he'd been going down at about 9, waking once at 3 and then sleeping til 6 which I counted as a very decent nights sleep all things considered!

His daytime naps are all over the place - some days like yesterday he barely naps at all and some days he has epic long naps. I thought about trying to get some kind of routine into his daytime naps - any second time mums think this is possible or advisable? Before I had him I swore blind I didn't want him to be in some rigid routine as would make it harder to be flexible but now he's here I would love a bit of predictability! Thoughts welcome.

indom and marmite impressed by your exercise! Thus far all I'm doing is post natal Pilates once a week. Should really do more walking but i sometimes find it really quite daunting getting out of the house...

Beaut what a knob, and as for his parents I really can't believe that behaviour, you sound like you are doing well rising above it all.

maybe were like you with naps all over the shop in the day.. She's mostly sleeping 9pm - 6am now, although fully appreciate this may change at anytime and we had one 4:30am feed thrown in over the weekend so I guess she doesn't need to sleep quite so much during the day but sometimes she sleeps loads and like yesterday didnt sleep all afternoon apart from a brief cat nap.. If I knew I was going to get a nap to get the washing out etc it be a bit easier..

swear hope the appointment goes ok.

Another one here with no pattern to daytime naps. The only thing I've noticed is that DS does tend to get a bit frustrated and need a short nap around 90 minutes after first waking in the morning. After that it's unpredictable, I try to get him to have a longer nap after lunch/early afternoon but it's hit and miss whether he'll do it.

french we have a lot of noise too that I wouldn't call cooing! Sounds very similar, lots of aahs and frustrated sort of grunts, the odd squeak thrown in!

For those of you who use gripe water, how often do you use? It says it can only be used 6 times in 24 hours so how do you deal with wind at other times? Can I use infacol when I can't use gripe water?

beaut I'm livid about your awful exPils - what the hell has your Ex been telling them?! Secretly I hope your kids were horrifically behaved all weekend, but I know that would just have been awful for your poor DCs. Keep venting on here, I wish someone was closer for a real tea (cake) and sympathy. 💐

magpie I have an app! There are so many! Starting tomorrow. (Not procrastination- me and DP are having our first date night tonight and won't get any other time till then.)

sweary my friends little boy had the boots and board combo. She jokes it actually made changing his nappy much more easier without flailing legs! He's two and a bit now and you would never know he had tootsie issues.

me, maybe, vroc sleeping and naps has no rhyme or reason for G yet. Last three nights he's woken up hourly from 1 am for boob snacks. Then snacked and snoozed all morning
(Currently snoring on my now when washing needs to be done.) I think it's a growth spurt thing, he's just gone seven weeks. Praying to the Pampers Gods that he goes back to just two feeds a night!

Morning all.

I'm (clearly avoiding) tidying up for the HV 6-week visit. (DS2 in the carrier because he wouldn't sleep or sit happily anywhere else!)

maybe, I'd definitely try to encourage more naps on the awakey-days. We're following the EASY baby whisperer thing where he's fed on waking (Eat), has some awake time (Activity) where at the moment he's awake a total of about 1:15 and includes such highlights as a nappy change and maybe 10 minutes looking at a pale blue bear (nothing too overstimulating!), then it's nap time (Sleep), and then the cheesy "You time" to make the acronym!

So no fixed times, but a predictable routine where I try not to let DS2 become overtired and screamy!
It's helping us, but it wouldn't have worked for DS1.

vroc that sleep sounds wonderful!

Me, a 90 minute nap would be considered a long one here! (DS2 will usually wake after 45 minutes during the day - an improvement on DS1's 35 minutes!)