December 2012: we thought the terrible twos were bad, here come the threenagers!

[Barbeasty]

Spangly new thread.

There's no place like home!

Hola! Got back from big family trip to Spain late last night - and all dds are still asleep - it's 8am!!

We had a great time but of course it was exhausting. Lovely villa and pool, dm was really well
I feel that I need a week without speaking to another person now though!

Travel back yesterday was long - flight delay and our junction of the m25 closed, and fil left Ts bag on the bus in Barcelona. Sigh. It wasn't all her stuff, just her most precious ponies and cardigans for the dds when we hit chilly England.

nutella I hope you managed to have a nice celebration in the end - I've been a right strop bag in the past when dm/pil have made assumptions and hijacked any intentions we had.
hales you and dp have gone to extraordinary lengths for dsd - she is so incredibly lucky to have you. Of course your relationship with H will be different - she's been with you since birth, no baggage and is just 3 yo. I have different relationships with all my dds according to their age, stage, what's currently going on with them. I strongly believe that treating everyone the same is not treating everyone fairly - different people need different things at different times.

WL glad you all had a good time and are home without too many issues sounds like a good family holiday was had by all.
Your comments for Hales are so spot on!

I'm so grateful for the voices and opinions on the thread. I'm glad it's here. I certainly find it very useful.

Wreck I hope you have all survived camping and that you had nice weather for it.

DS has slept in the last two weekends until 8am he must be growing or something....

We had friends over for brunch. It was lovely!

I also went to a ballet class last week, it was really good I'm not going to ballerina shaped anytime soon though....

nutella I salute you! This thread is definitely one of my sanity anchors.

Today DD decided I am not allowed to go to the toilet. She actually stood screaming and crying at me while shouting in German "du darfst nicht!" - "you're not allowed" while I did a wee.

I asked her if she needed a wee and she said yes. Then she followed that up with a look of concentration while she did a really big wee. Fortunately she had made me put a nappy on her before we left nursery. I'm not sure if she knew she had a nappy on or if she had forgotten

Little madam!

I agree with this thread helping my sanity.

WL, your comments are absolutely right and i hadn't thought of it that way. Dsd went to see her mum on Friday night (1st time since 1st bank holiday in May). It went well but she asked her DM if she could stay over for a few nights and was told not at the moment as her DPs family come round once a week to see the new baby

Wrecked how was camping?

WL, that holiday sounds fab even though the journey home sounds abit nightmareish. Have you all got gorgeous tans?

Nutella, is Dd ready for potty training?

Hales for you and DSD.

DD has been out of nappies in the daytime for about two months already. It isn't always a success but she manages pretty well for her age - I think!
It was odd that she wanted a nappy on yesterday, but I think it was because she looked in her nappy drawer at nursery and saw a pink nappy (she had cloth nappies)

Wreck have you all made it back in one piece? How was camping with kids???!

Yes I survived thanks. I wanted to go home at one point, it would have been fun if the weather hadn't been so shit!

I'm having issues arm with my best friends friend. I'm MOH at my best friends wedding so bride and I are arranging hen do. Her friend keeps messaging me with ideas (fine) but today I got one saying 'me and other friends were thinking we could do this and that on this date it'll cost £X each and I've checked with the husband to be and he says that weekend is fine for them' er wtf? Fuck off I'm organising it not you you big nob. She knows I'm organising it and her idea is shit. Gah. She's trying to steal my best friend

Wrecked, you could say oh me and the bride had thought of that but decided it was abit shit/last year, thanks for the idea though.

Nutella i love that she chose to wear a nappy because of its colour.

Good idea hales. tangled you're bf asked you to be moh and you're her bf. The other girl can try, but she won't win.
hales here's a story for you - while we were on hols dbs dd (15) and friend were house sitting for people who's dogs she walks. They had a big party, drank all the alcohol in the house (incl spirits and v expensive bottles of wine) cigarette burns in carpets, window broken etc. Db got a call from ex (dds dm) while we were away. He has been trying to sort it since we got home. The bit that made me think of you, was that the house owner ended up by telling him that having met his ex, he actually feels sorry for dd!! They are of course furious and db has a massive bill to pay. He is now adamant that dd will go and live with him which ex doesn't like, but needs to happen as dd has been getting wilder and ex can't cope.

"Thanks for the thought, I'll let you know what we've decided" maybe?

Good ideas. I think I've been too nice already when I should have nipped it in the bud straight away! 30 degrees here today.

What a shame for your DB and his Dd. I honestly think Dsd is beginning to settle into routines and she definitely needs them and to see we have boundaries and if she crosses them we will punish her. I do feel for your DB though as its hard getting them settled. Dsd has been here a year at the end of Sept and we are all still adjusting now.

Are any of your dc weird??? H put her finger up her own bum tonight and then came over to me with quite literally a shitty finger and told me to smell it eurghhhh!

Yep they're all like it hales. Dd said that if she touches her bottom then smells her fingers it doesn't smell very nice, er you think?!

I've got a work trip to the theatre tomorrow we're going to see half a sixpence. It's got amazing reviews and it's all paid for so I can't wait.

Wreck enjoy the theatre!!

Hales yup we have two weirdos at home too. Went in to DD this morning - a bit later because DS failed in his job as a natural alarm clock. She had done a poo.... She let me know that she had some poo on her hands. So her bed needs stripping and washing today. Fortunately it wasn't much but I don't know what has poo crumbs and what doesn't!!

I'm hugging H extra tight tonight after a young girl from our town died whilst on holiday with her mum, dad and siblings. I can't imagine the pain they are in at this moment.

Omg hales that's heartbreaking. I will give mine an extra kiss when I check on them before I turn in.

I've just seen on fb (from a reputable local news site) there was a sexual assault along the canal where dd1 and I went for a walk this eve. Creepy.

Ok ladies, here's an aibu for you. DH and I are not on good terms again. Tell me if you think I'm over reacting. DH got pulled over and ticketed for driving without due care and attention. He didn't tell me and I found out because I questioned him about the envelope that arrived through our door from Winchester courts! He said he didn't tell me because I was either in a bad mood, or I a good mood that he didn't want to spoil. I can't win then. I believe he was not paying enough attention as I've seen him do it and challenges him but been told I'm over reacting and he's fine etc. He drives a lot for work and I think has middle aged man false confidence at the wheel syndrome.
I feel that's a sign of how disconnected we are and now feel totally switched off again. There's been v little discussion about it, can't be bothered.
Opinions?

I think he hasn't told you because its something you have warned him about previously and he hasn't taken you seriously. Then hes been pulled over and its all official but not only is it official he now has to admit you were in the right, and the vast majority of men in relationships that i personally know hate doing that. Also he may have been embarrassed about the whole thing so just pretended it wasn't happening. He is obviously wrong for not telling you, but i can see reasons why he may not of. I don't necessarily see it as a sign of you having a disconnected relationship

Thanks hales, that's a helpful perspective.

Hmm I do see hales' point and get where she's coming from. However if I got pulled over the first thing I would do is tell Dh. I'm not a man though and so I think hales is probably right. Sorry not much help.

Went to see half a sixpence last night. It was amazing so good I wish I could see it again.

Dd has come home from my mums burnt

I think that having proof he's not as good a driver as he thought has knocked his confidence and he was too ashamed to admit it. Can you put him on the ADI course for Christmas/birthday? Or look at off road or racing experience days that might give him a few extra skills but be fun too

Thanks ladies. I think you're right - he knows he's been a twat and doesn't want to admit it - so is behaving like more of a twat! I see it as a much bigger deal than he does - he swerved out of his lane on the motorway - I think he was lucky not to cause a massive accident - obviously bothered for him, us and everyone else, whereas he sees at as he didn't cause an accident so no harm done - which I don't think is taking responsibility. Behind the shrugging it off I think it has been a wake up call.
Because I was annoyed, all the little things became huge again. He has been trying to show he's sorry without saying it. Twat!

tangled so glad you enjoyed the theatre! I don't know the story so will have a look.
Dd3 came back from mil with a burnt face yesterday too

Dd is being vile so I cheered myself up with some new orla kiely towels. The cat looks like us got a flea rash but he has flea treatments so I don't understand.

Wreck could it be heat rash that the cat has? Or even sunburn, depending on where it is. Or a reaction to a new treatment? My mum reacts badly to the flea meds so she gives her cat a good comb regularly to keep fleas at bay.

WL totally agree with Hales. Plus I think men often think of themselves as being good safe drivers because: they passed their test first time, have been driving X number of years, have not been in an accident etc etc etc. It doesn't mean much and bad habits can obviously be overlooked if you are telling yourself that in all these years you have been accident free and ergo you are a good driver.

Plus, I've found plenty of men who really don't like being told that they aren't great at driving. I think it's something emasculating for them. It sounds silly and it is; but you see in the media cool guys in fast cars with hot girls so they get the idea that being a driver is also about being cool.

Anyway, I think a course or something would be practical. Lots of people form bad habits while driving and being complacent can be very dangerous.
I like to think I'm an aware and observant driver, but I know I have my own bad habits too.