September 2014 - Toddlers & Tantrums!

[lilone1234]

Babies are now toddlers at 18 months +, growing and learning new things all the time!

Hi all.

Sorry to hear about your sleep issues Team. I think Fate's suggestion of rapid return is a good one. We're having to do something a bit similar with DD when we take her to bed now as she keeps sneaking out of bed to play with things in her room. We just go in, tell her to go back to bed, say goodnight and leave again each time. I hope she gets better at nights soon. You must be so tired.

We also had DD's 3rd birthday last week. We took her out for the day and she had her first 'proper' birthday party on Saturday which seemed to go well. She has also got a bike for her birthday (but with stabilisers) which we haven't really had much chance to play with yet, but we're taking her out tomorrow for an hour to play on it whilst we have a couple of viewings on our house (still no buyer lined up yet, which is frustrating).

Team I can offer no advice only that Robert has always been a awful sleeper I’ve never used dummy with my kids but Robert has just been awful from a newborn

He co slept with us till about 3 months ago but we had enough as him and baby were in bed and no one was getting any sleep

to get him to bed now we do bedtime routine and instead of forcing him to go to sleep we say so now you can go to bed or play with toys but you must stay in your room

He potters about his room for a bit then gets into bed and goes to sleep prior to do this he would scream for up to a hour he wasn’t tired and couldn’t sleep etc but since changing tactic and allowing him to decide when to go to sleep he is now in bed and sleeping within 20 minutes max and no fuss at all

Night time wakings have always been a issue for us we have now got his wakings down to 2-3 a night he shouts and because we worried he will wake his wee brother who is 13 months we go to him , tuck him in and generally just say go back to sleep but we have decided as of tonight no more going to him unless it’s full on meltdown we will deal with his brother if he wakes him up as now it’s become a habit and we going to break it by just ignoring him

So expecting quiet a few rough nights

We can speak to him over monitor so going to do that just tell him to go to sleep

I’ve nrver been one for CC or anything like that but at 3 years old we feel he old enough now to be told go back to sleep without us going into him

Also it’s now 3 years of never more than 4 hours sleep in a row for me and I’m sick of it

His brother sleeps well 7-7 so it’s just Robert we need to sleep and we will finally sleep

M is only going in to her own room next week! Very late in getting her out of my bed but as she is my last baby I just took my time with cosleeping and have really enjoyed having her in with me. I doubt she will settle straight away but as she has chosen most of her things for her room with me swaying her to the things I prefer I am hoping she loves it enough to give it a go. Painting being done at the minute then it's on to the dreaded job of building flat packs :(

Glad everyone's little ones had good birthdays, won't be long til they're making huge lists for Santa! M has started already

Third birthday been and gone here. Much excitement!

I also have a child who never sleeps in his own bed - prefers mummies bed or the one in the spare room! If co-sleeping he does sleep through and wakings are now 6am instead of 5am.

Lots of imaginitive play now too.

Hi everyone, it's been a looooong time since I've been in here. My world seems to have got rather chaotic since the arrival of DS2 in May. I've had a skim over the past few posts and I can see it's all Birthday chatter (how are our babies three?!) and sleep issues and dummy dropping and potty training. All the same stuff going on here!
I tried potty training over the summer and it was a total fail. DS now wants to use the toilet with toddler seat but only when prompted by me. So if I take him, he can wee on demand (no poo yet) but otherwise will just wee in his pull up. I think the answer is to put him in pants so he won't want to be wet but my god I just don't think I've got the mental strength at the moment. I'm exhausted, DS2 is so hard compared to DS1. He's sleeping in my bed and is waking multiple times a night. I'm practically delirious in the night so I literally have no clue how much sleep I'm getting. This is all so so much harder second time around! I'm not really asking a question I don't think, just popping in to say hi and share my woes!
Hope everyone is okay, I shall try and keep up a bit more as this thread has always been such a source of strength over the past three years. And if I'm being honest, life is tough at the moment and any support I can get can only be a good thing.

Sorry to hear you are struggling Lily. Must be very hard with such little sleep and I am sure you are doing a great job. Don't worry too much about the potty training. It will happen when DS is ready.

Oh Lily, I've heard many people say that the transition from one to two children is really, really hard and although we are sticking with one he was and to a point still is a poor sleeper. Sleep deprivation is the worst thing and you have my full sympathy. Be kind to yourself.

Where have you all gone!!!!

I'm still here...still sleep deprived...

Awww no, it will get better, stick it out x

I think I tend to come on mumsnet when I'm in need of moral support and then all my posts must come across as so miserable!

I did brave the pants though. Accidents are becoming less but only because I'm forcing him to the toilet or potty to wee. He basically never asks to go. Which is super annoying. And we are 10 days in and are yet to get a poo in the potty or toilet. He doesn't even care when it's in his pants. Not really sure how to deal with it. The pooland app has been recommended so that's my next idea. But I believe it focuses on the poo going down the toilet which it does anyway from his pants so I'm not convinced it will work. Any tips would be great!

I’m still here too!

WRT pooing in the potty/toilet. I’m afraid I got quite angry with a one day when he deliberately stood there and pooed in his pants. I said how annoyed I was with him and couldn’t understand why he would rather poo in his pants than the potty. Then when he did it on his potty later in the day I gave loads of praise! Rewarded with chocolate. He then started doing it on the potty all the time, with praise each time. Hi fives etc. I think a was shocked to see me angry and that made him realise he shouldn’t do it. Not sure if that will work for everyone though. Hope you do find a solution xx

Hi all! Happy belated 3rd birthdays to all our little ones!

Congrats Lily on the arrival of DS2! I've found the transition from 1 to 2 very tricky and DS is a much worse sleeper than DD and the sleep or lack thereof really makes all the difference!

I was lucky potty training DD in that she got the hang of doing a poo on the potty before doing a wee, which is very unusual. But for other aspects we found the princess polly potty book helpful (she refused to wear knickers to begin with for example) and there's a boy version called pirate Pete.

Hello all!

Sorry to hear you're so tired LilyBugg. It's bloody hard going from one to two. We're only just starting to reach some sort of sanity now with DD2's sleeping, and she's nearly 1 now.

We're still about too. DD1 still not potty trained. We've decided to give it another go next week. It would be so much easier if we can get her to crack it before I go back to work which is in a month's time. She has some sort of understanding from previous attempts, but won't tell me she needs the potty until she's done a poo in her nappy already, which is obviously too late. Not had any luck with wees at all. Cross your fingers for us next week!

Also had her repeat hearing test on Monday. Her left ear still has hearing impairment, and the consultant said she's really on the borderline as for whether she needs an op and to have a grommet put in her left ear (because her right ear is working normally so she still has some hearing overall). It was difficult really as he sort of asked me how bad I think her hearing is, but the truth be told is that it's difficult to say. Sometimes she does ignore me when I speak to her but I don't know if that's because she genuinely isn't hearing me or she's ignoring me. She also has a habit of 'making up' words that sound similar to the actual words she should be saying. So for instead of saying 'can I have an ice cream please?' for example she'll say something like 'liga liga ice cream please' and I don't know if that's to do with her hearing or not. It's very difficult. I don't obviously want her to have an operation unless necessary, but similarly I don't want her to get really behind her peers with her language skills when it's an issue that could be easily treated. I've agreed with the consultant that she'll have another repeat hearing screen in Feb and then make a decision.

Ugh, wrote a long post then accidentally deleted it. Don't have the energy to re-type it all now.

Briefly summarising my last post:

Does anyone still look here anymore? Have a couple of questions?

1. Do your toddlers use a knife yet? DD only uses a fork at the moment but wondering when to introduce a knife.

2. How long do you think we should keep our bed barrier up to stop DD rolling out of bed? I guess at some point she needs to learn how to manage sleeping without rolling out of bed.

Also popped on to say potty training was a disaster. Tried for nearly a fortnight and she didn't get it at all. Eventually stopped when both me and her nursery key-worker agreed she was getting very upset about it all (crying when we tried to put knickers on, kept saying 'I can't do it') and didn't seem at all ready yet, so will try again in new year.

I'm still about.

My mum has started teaching DS to use a knife but I will be honest and say I haven't. I think he will be expected to at nursery in January.

He sleeps in the double bed in the spare room (he does have a lovely bedroom but prefers the double bed!), we have kept the bedguard on one side and will continue to keep it for ages. When he is asleep he is deeply asleep!

Potty training was great for us but his diet is shocking and really stresses me out - it is swings and roundabouts!

robert uses a knife to cut food up then uses his fork (and often his hands) to eat it

I’m always on at him to stop using his hands but it’s goes in one ear and out the other

We had success with sleep he now goes to sleep in own bed with no fuss and sleeps right through to 6am most nights, just the odd wake up here and there. It took 3 years but we got there in the end

We tried toilet training him about 3 months before 3rd Birthday it was a disaster after two weeks we gave up I was going to try again at Xmas

But two weeks ago he said he wanted to wear big boy pants and use the toilet (we never bothered with potty just straight to toilet) so I said ok let’s try well we are 16 days in and have had 2 pee accidents and that’s it - clearly he was ready but before wasn’t
So this time with his brother I’m going to wait till he decides he wants to rather than us pushing it

On the subject of his brother he is now 15 months old and Robert can be so horrid to him , pushing him , hitting him, snatching toys off him I feel so sorry for William he gets a rough time - not sure how to deal with it I can see at lot of it is jealousy

He can be nice to him sometimes it’s about 50/50 nice awful

Is that just something I will have to live with - fighting one minutes friends the next as they are close together in age.

No knife using here. DS tries occasionally when Daddy puts the toddler knife on the table but honestly I haven't bothered. I know he won't be able to do it, he's always been behind his peers with physical development and abilities like that so I just don't see the point at the moment.

Sibling rivalry...DS2 is too young for me to comment at the moment but I'm guessing that he's unfortunately it's inevitable. Already the baby is trying to take DS's stuff and he goes into one over it. He's only 6 months old.

On the subject of baby and toddler...we don't have much space for playing etc and DS has lots of small (choking size) toys. Any thoughts on how to manage this? I don't want to say DS can't have all his favourite tiny toys out but DS2 is now enjoying more floor time (finally!!) and is already pulling up his knees trying to crawl. I wouldn't be surprised if he's on the move by Christmas.

Also, Christmas. I don't think we've covered this yet...are you all doing the Father Christmas 'thing' this year? I was thinking I might just do a stocking from FC and the rest of the presents from us. I love the 'magic' of FC but honestly I want the DC to be grateful that we gave them their toys and appreciate where they came from (when old enough to appreciate of course). I was going to do a stocking in the bedroom as I remember being so excited to wake up and see it there as a child but DH said that it would be better being downstairs so that in a few years we don't have the kids up at like 3/4am opening their gifts and also he remembers staying awake as long as possible to get a glimpse of FC. I sort of see his point. Plus also if we do it downstairs I will see their faces when we go down together. How are you going to do it in your house?

Do you have a dining table for eldest toys, out of the way of youngest? We have a dining table at the back of our lounge and it's always been the place for toys like logo and playdo that need to be out if the way of toddler (and dog)

Is anyone's toddler still in a cot?

Also this talk of removing bed guards, my 3 year old is still perfectly happy in a cot so no plans to change to a bed anytime soon. So much so I bought some 3y - 6y sleeping bags. They are gigantic!

Father Christmas delivers all presents to our living room, in piles per child. Glorious to see their collective faces when we open the door together. I have thought about a sack in their bedroom, mainly to give us a bit of extra time to wake up before coming down. But they are all so desperate to come downstairs regardless.

Still in nappies here 🙈

I'm going to have one more try before starting preschool nursery in January. I've not forced the issue, I've not needed to with any if my other children - they just did it when ready at 2 years old. May need more active persuasion with DD. I have bought a load of blind bags for bribery.

No mine was never in a cot he was a awful sleeper and co slept till a few months ago when I had enough as two kids and two adults was too much so he was put into a toddler bed and has been fine in it most of the time. I’ve never used bed guard either, he don’t fall out but he does get up when he feels like it shouting for us but we just return him to bed and he normally goes back to sleep.

Xmas for us is just a pile in living room we bought a proper quad bike for his Xmas but my husband away on Monday for a month to work so Santa is bringing his early so he can open it with his dad he don’t seem to realise that’s weird , too young I think then on Xmas day he has a pile of smaller toys to open with me and his little brother.

I’ve never bought smaller things as he was quite young when DS2 was born so I just avoided them for now but have started but now that younger brother is getting older and not putting things in mouth anymore

Had a couple of chats with the staff at DD's nursery the past couple of days. They haven't said anything specifically, but I think they may be questioning that she may be on the autistic spectrum. I wouldn't be entirely shocked to be honest (I have several family members who are on the spectrum), and I have privately had a few concerns about her myself. They've mentioned concerns that she doesn't play or show any real interest in other children, will play obsessively with certain toys, and doesn't always respond when her name is called. She's also really particular about certain things like food. Her language skills are behind normal, but she will 'repeat' phrases a lot that she's heard, but not always in the right context. She's ahead of the rest of her year group on things like numbers. They are going to do some 'support work' with her to see if they can get her playing with other children etc. As I say they haven't said the word 'autism' specifically, but they have mentioned concerns about a number of traits that I know fall into the autistic spectrum and want her to have some additional support, so I have a feeling that's what they may be hinting at. Not really sure what I want from this post. Just need to get my thoughts down I guess.

Sorry Kitkat, just seen your post.

I think it's great that nursery are providing the additional support to you dd if she needs it. I don't know a lot about autism and so don't want to say anything wrong, but it sounds like nursery will be able to offer support to you and her.

DS has been a bit poorly this weekend, barely ate anything yesterday and refused chocolate (he never refuses chocolate!), so I set myself for a day of not leaving he house, cuddling in front of Christmas movies, and he has woke today like a different boy! He is currently throwing his blanked it the air and catching it, and he hasn't stopped eating! Think I may have to get dressed and leave the house after all 😜

Is everyone all set for Christmas? What have you got your little ones? We have got A a balance bike. Can't wait to see his face on Christmas morning. He is really getting into it this year.

Its gone very quiet on here, but thought I would pop on and wish you all a Merry Christmas. Hope you all have a fab day tomorrow

Merry Christmas everyone. Attached is DD meeting Santa this year. She is proper, PROPER excited this year.

DH and I have been reminiscing today. 14 years ago this morning we had the BFP that would be our eldest child. And so the journey began...

Merry Christmas to you all! 🎄☃

We are having a wonderful White Christmas this year!