March 2016 babies - 2 here already, many more yet to come!!!

[Missikat]

Hi ladies, thanks Indom for the suggestion of me starting a new thread. Seeing as Zach and myself have been knocking about on antenatal since November it will be lovely to have you all joining us shortly in the baby, rather than pregnancy conversations! Bring on the March babies!!!!

Hi there. New dad here, and new to Mumsnet. Our daughter was born on Wednesday. All's gone well. Some breastfeeding issues which we're managing with a pump supplemented by formula, and I find baby clothing baffling. Hoping the midwife can help us with the breastfeeding issues (my poor wife is sitting there for probably hours a day like, as she says, like a milking cow, so hopefully we can get baby to latch on soon) and I'll start a separate thread in a moment about clothes, which is why I signed up!

Ah beautiful hope you're not stuck there too long and Nancy is ok.

Rhu I found BF incredibly painful too at first but like others above persevered. I would suggest you getting some expert advice sooner rather than later, either today by phone (NCT or la leche league have phone lines I think) and contact your local BF support tomorrow (midwife or HV will have the numbers). Dont feel bad if you decide to formula feed - babies need food and a happy mummy, do whatever achieves this. And a bottle or two of formula today doesn't have to mean the end of BFibg altogether if it keeps you sane.

Hi Feanor, good to hear from a dad on this thread. With baby clothes, start the poppers at the ankles and work your way up!

Oh me, please don't beat yourself up. I know exactly how you feel. I've been crying on and off all afternoon. It really hit when i couldn't even give DS the cuddle he wanted because my tummy and boobs hurt too much. I just broke down. Jacob had formula this afternoon and took 1 ounce. He looked bemused but happy. Am planning to bf tonight but if I'm honest, I'm dreading it. I want to enjoy my newborn, not panic every time he wakes up. I've got the perfect prep ready so will see how we go, but think I know where I'm heading.

Thank you for all your amazing advice. I laughed at boob sandwich which really helped! and watched all the links. Indom I'm already on max ibroprufen and paracetamol for all my other pains! I will check out the boards though Trinpy and coat my breast pads in cream too, great idea Suz. Will also look into the gel pads if I make it through tonight. It looks as if pain for a few days/weeks is the norm.

Beaut I'll prob be on night watch too so will keep you company along with the CSC members! Any more cervix updates??

Sorry typed that 2 hours ago but it didn't post... me be kind to yourself, what I said to rhu about BFing - same goes to you!

Hi feanor congrats on the new arrival! Ask away, there are lots of wise wise people on this thread and I'm sure someone can help...see the enlightening posts above re breast sandwiches as an example!

beaut what happened at the hosp? Did I skim over an update...will check, hope all ok.

Hi Feanor, you'll get the hang of baby clothes soon enough!

DS, after convincing me he was well enough to go to spread his germs around at soft play, is now definitely Not Well.

He's dosed up on ibuprofen and cough medicine and has gone straight to sleep. I'm doing that 'what if...' overreaction thing and have looked up meningitis symptoms. I'm 90% sure it's Just A Cold though! I've discovered we don't have any calpol in the house though, so I hope the ibuprofen cuts the mustard.

Still, it's distracted me from the 'what if I go into labour' thoughts! Wish DH was here!

Oh dear indom sounds stressful. Most likely a bad cold though, hope he gets better soon.

me don't beat yourself up. The first few days are the hardest emotionally and your hormones are all over the place. Also jaundice is incredibly common. I'm not sure why you were advised to top up on formula just for that? Whatever you decide, it'll be fine, but (as I mentioned up thread to rhubarb) I'd always advise speaking to a bf supporter rather than midwives or doctors as honestly I've just found most health professionals don't have a clue when it comes to breastfeeding and are prescriptive rather than supportive. You gave birth in RBH didn't you? They have a really good breastfeeding support drop in that you can use up to six weeks after birth so that might be worth looking into.

Sorry to hear you are dreading feeding rhubarb. I can only say it does get better, but it depends on whether you're bothered enough about bf to stick it out. There's no shame in saying it doesn't matter to you enough not to switch to formula. Everyone has different feelings/hopes towards bf. But if you do really want to do it, know that it does get easier and painless (and enjoyable!).

As trinpy mentioned, days 3-5 are generally the hardest to get through bf wise, as when your milk starts to come in you are basically just a mess, plus the europhia of post birth has firmly worn off and everything is sore. I remember trying to feed DD at night and my stitches hurting, my boobs in agony, being tired and just sobbing hysterically at 4 in the morning. But it does pass and it will get better! me I know you said you felt out of your depth - please don't worry. Absolutely everyone is with a newborn first time round (and possibly subsequent times too - not that I know that yet!). Parenting is basically one big exercise in winging it and you aren't doing anything wrong. Baby will be fine whatever you decide.

Congratulations on the beautiful new babies, you all seem to have been blessed with particularly gorgeous ones

Re breastfeeding, I remember thinking that it was a swizz last time that the midwives said that it shouldn't hurt if you were doing it right. We were doing it right and it just really, really hurt for the first week or two. Wincing and shuddering in pain when she latched on. A friend pointed out that the nipple skin is basically stretching to twice its normal size, not surprising that it hurts! But once it starts feeling better, it stops hurting pretty quickly.

I'm also prepared for the crazy day 3 (well, day 2, 3, 4) hormones this time. I'm aware that I'm just going to feel utterly awful, depressed, terrible about myself, DP, DD, and anything and everything else, and will just cry and moan. It's hormones, it's not real, it will pass, I'm not going to see anyone apart from DP at those times. Forewarned is forearmed

Good luck to all those frustrated and waiting for labour and babies - I'm 37 weeks tomorrow and am seeing the obstetrician to plan the c section. Will be super exciting to have a date.

me and rhu so sorry you are both finding the feeding hard. With DD, I nearly sent myself mad with it. It was incredibly painful for a few weeks and we had some bad advice re topping up, which affected my supply and it was all a bit horrific. I did persevere and came to really enjoy it, but would def have been happier in those first few weeks if we'd swapped to formula. I second finding a breast feeding expert to check the latch and maybe a BFing cafe where you can meet other mums and share experiences. Also more lansinoh than you think you could possibly need and ibuprofen. We did end up giving DD one bottle of formula in the evening, so I could have a break from the cluster feeding (and get some zzs) and I found that helped a lot. But remember happy mum = happy baby and do not feel bad about using formula.

indom I hope DS is ok. If he's been charging about at soft play, I'm sure it's nothing too evil, but totally understand your worries.

feanor nice to 'see' a dad on here!

It feels like the baby is soo low down this evening! I can feel lots of squirming in my pelvis and it feels like I'm sitting on a baby! Really hope this doesn't mean he's flipped back to transverse and it's just his legs down there.

me we are having to top up after each feed as well to try to flush out the jaundice, had to do exactly the same with ds as well. It's all about getting fluid in so doesn't matter if its formula or ebm. I do a mix of both depending on whether I have had chance to express or not, the one good thing about it is that if she goes the same way as ds he was happy to have bf, ebm or formula so dh could help a lot more. I've been finding that Cassie is getting lazy as its obviously much easier for them to take a bottle so I think she faffs until I give a bottle, bf skin to skin does help but I struggle to muster the energy to strip her off for night feeds. I really want to persevere with bf partly because sterilising everything and having to remember formula is a pita but you should do whatever works for you and your beautiful baby.

See you tonight Rhu I'm in bed already trying to feed her up before the night shift commences...

Milk has definitely come in now. Boobs are like rocks and I can "hear the baby swallowing" (!)

Rosie forgot to say I LOVE the pram and car seat! I actually walked loads yesterday and I never walk! Haf to get the pram out :)

magpie thanks for asking, everything was fine as I expected it would be!

Thanks crispy, it's just the irrational part of my brain trying to break free! Fortunately I know it's games, we're sorted! DS has been coughing and restless but seems to have finally got into a deep sleep. He's got a temp, but doesn't seem excessive (we need to get a new thermometer).

At least it might get us a sofa-day tomorrow.

Thanks to the nipple chatter I've added some of those hydrogel patches to my next Amazon order. Going to put milk bags on too. (Better put a thermometer on too!)

Glad all was good, Beaut.

Thanks for all the advice. Baby has been breastfeeding fine since his formula top up. He struggles to get latched on and it usually takes 4-5 tries each time during which he can get frustrated. Just trying to be very patient so I don't get worked up too.

A quick question about how often they feed. I have been told we should be aiming for 8 times in 24 hours and that I need to wake him if he goes for longer than 4 hours without a feed. But what counts as a feed? Just now for example he was stirring and starting to chew his fist at around 10, so I got him up and tried him and he had 15 mins at each breast. I then changed his nappy as it was wet and he then had another 8 minutes on one breast. So does that all count as one feed or does the second go after the nappy change count as another one? It's all so confusing and I just want to make sure I am giving him enough.

The issue is, very close to an hour had passed between him starting the first feed and the second one after the nappy change. So if I need to wake him after 4 hours, I'm not sure whether to count it from the beginning of the first feed or the second one. He may of course stir before then anyway.

I think I'd count that as one feed. (But, it's been a while since I was in that position). But unless he's particularly underweight, or had any other extenuating circumstances, I wouldn't be waking a sleeping baby.

If he now sleeps for a full 4 hours, you should too!

And as far as taking several attempts to latch on, that's pretty normal. BFing is a learned skill for both parties. It'll get easier.

You're doing great, Me! Get some rest while you can.

Hi to anyone up late tonight!

I'm afraid I can't help with the bf discussion but taking in all the incredibly useful advice for when it's my turn. Hope me, rhu and others struggling have a less frustrating night tonight. Oh someone did tell me to put newborn nappies in the freezer then put them in your bra to ease pain?

My anxiety about my cholestasis skyrocketed yesterday, it was horrible, as I got part 1 of the results which showed some rising levels, but not part 2 which are the big ones, so still worrying it has got to dangerous levels. I discovered that OC babies don't give any warning such a reduced movements, they will just have a sudden heart attack, so had massive crying panics when I didn't feel her for 30 minutes. I read that I should have been offered medication, so wanted to call my out of hours OB to see if I could get some to put my mind at rest, but my DH is a scientist and looked up medical journals to try and prove that I didn't need the medication, and dismissed my fears about the 15% stillbirth risk. I got really upset with him and said something along the lines of if this baby died I would never speak to him again for not taking me seriously. God what a fucking awful thing to say, I felt like a garbage human being as soon as I said it. Astonishingly he forgave me immediately and we hugged and made up, which is more than I deserved, but we were both so emotionally charged.

I feel much calmer today as only need to hang on until tomorrow lunchtime when I get to see my doc (who was away last week) and talk over the options. On reflection I realise worrying won't help anything, but when my mind goes to dark places I just feel so alone and scared, and it's hard to get out.

But we cheered ourselves up by finding a world foods store today and stocked up on lots of random British treats that I didn't even realise I had missed - Mcvitities choice digestives, fruit pastilles, lion bars, cadburys's (of course), marmite and crumpets, Jacob's cream crackers etc!! It was very comforting :) Trying to save them as post-birth treats.

I think I need to say a belated congratulations to dobby, he's absolutely gorgeous! All the newborn pics are so adorable, definitely an extra cute bunch on here!

indom sounds like a rough day - hope your DS is getting better now and you both get better sleep. I'm sure the worry never ends even when our little ones are here. Impressed with your cervix checks though!

beaut sorry to hear about the hospital visit today, hope all went well. I'm absolutely gobsmacked that your birth was one hour and pushing 1 minute - bloody hell you are made for babies!

welcome feanor and congrats - will be nice to have a dad's point of view on here.

Wishing everyone a restful night

umm choc digestives not choice - the dark ones, yum

Morning Ffaux, I'm up feeding. So sorry to hear about your anxiety around your condition, it sounds really hard not to be worrying like you are I hope you can manage to relax a bit and that baby will be here soon safe and sound

Can you believe this....I came up to bed at 10.30 leaving DH downstairs with Zach and a bottle of expressed milk to try and get a couple of hours sleep. Woken at 1am by Zach crying (from doenstairs). Waited a few minutes thinking surely DH will wake and get him...does he? No..a couple more mins more and I go down, there he is snoring on sofa completely oblivious! Unbelievable that it wakes me from a deep sleep from another floor but not him from 1 metre away!

I also have some catching up to do. Belated congrats to Dobby, does the gorgeous little man have a name? How heavy was he, he looks like a decent weight!

Me, sounds like you're doing fab. I agree the latching will def improve with practice. I would probably count that all as one feed personally but I wouldn't say you're 'wrong' if you count as two. As long as he is settled and is having plenty of wet and dirty nappies which at this point seems to be every nappy here then I'd say he's having enough. How often is he being weighed at the mo? With DS1 (who was 8lb 1oz) I don't remember ever waking him to feed but he rarely ever went more than 4 hours between feeds. With Zach because he's still diddy I'm not letting him go longer than 3.5 hours
(well there may have been a couple of rare occasions at night where he's gone 3.5 and I have just luxuriated in a sleep longer than 1-2 hours and tried not to feel guilty!)

Rhu, hope you are doing ok. I think it is kind of more normal than not to have pain cracked nipples, bleeding, agony, crying while feeding for the first few days or weeks. It does get easier and then becomes pain free, lovely and just so convenient! But I totally understand if you can't put yourself through it any longer. Someone said that introducing a bottle needn't be the end of your breastfeeding totally, you could combination feed but give more bottles to give your boobs a rest and more time to recover.

Indom, sounds like a rough day. Hope your DS recovers soon and it's only a cold.

We are in the land of cluster feeding here. Zach is basically attached permanently to my boob for at least 3-4 hours every evening somewhere between 5 and 10pm. I remember this from DS1 but it never ceases to amaze me that they can continue to squeeze more and more milk in their tiny tummies!

Does anyone else have a pukey baby? Zach is unfortunately very like his big bro in this respect and basically has to live in a bib, with a permanent stash of sicky muslins trailing from me wherever I go. It doesn't seem to matter if I keep him upright for half and hour after a feed which is what I'm currently attempting He will still vomit loads as soon as I lie him down. I was really hoping not to have another sicky one but no such luck! It's still really difficult to get song burps up which I'm sure doesn't help at all. attempts to lie Zach down resulting in first cot rescue muslin of the night getting covered in puke!

Hope those up in the CSC due to pregnancy or feeding newborns manage to get some rest! We are regularly up every 1-2 hours, it's bloody knackering!

So these BH were definitely really contractions!!! Meet my baby girl born on her due date and on Mother's Day so punctual already haha I'm so in love she weighs 6lb 1oz but everyone's happy with her and she's feeding great already. Born at 10:54pm yesterday on just gas and air. Meet Mia!!

Yay a mother's day baby! Congratulations rosie shame she didn't give you much time to celebrate it though.

Sorry to he's you are having such a tough time ffaux, do talk it through with the Dr, I'm sure your dh realised how stressful it must be for you and that it is the situation you are frustrated with not him.

I'm up trying to feed a sleepy Cassidy, she keeps breaking her latch to cuddle in to my boob and go to sleep which is very cute but not really getting the job done! me I'd take that as one feed, by the time I've offered both boobs to Cassidy and done a top up its often an hour and a half after we have started and she probably only sucked for 10 mins each side

ffaux sorry to hear you are having a bad night. Can you ring your maternity unit or somethingf or advice/support?

Rosie congratulations mia is gorgeous!! I think you're the only person I know that has given birth on their due date!!

Oh I'm so pleased we had a Mother's Day baby, congrats rosie Mia is beautiful

That reminds me, thanks to Q for pointing out that US Mother's Day is different- you're right it is in early May so hopefully I will be celebrating it with cuddles, that cheered me up today :)

Thanks missi mrsE and wooden for the support x

Congrats Rosie! Mia is lovely and amazing she was born on her due date and Mother's Day too! How was the labour? Great to hear she's feeding well already.

MrsE, I have the same problem
With Zach feeding. I often end up needing to change his nappy just to wake him up enough to feed which then often results in him weeing through the wipe/cotton wool and all over himself or our bed...boys!Sometimes I wonder why he's woken up when he doesn't seem bothered about feeding but once he's got me up, there's no way I'm not feeding him! (the sleepy boob snuggles are lovely but mostly I want to get back to sleep!)

Thank you girls she's amazing bless her still sleeping. Labour was painful really respect people that have done it a few times haha had to have a few stitches but that's about it, all I can say is that gas and air is AMAZING!!!! I felt soooo drunk!! But definitely can't believe I'm one of the 5% people that gave birth on their due date so strange they also can't believe it in the hospital.

Rosie congratulations, how lovely to have a mother's day baby!!!

Huge congrats Rosie. Mia is beautiful.

Ffaux some for you. I think I would have reacted to your DPs comment the same way but he wonderfully redeemed himself. Good luck with the Drs appointment and munching your way through that food!

Missi my DP would sleep through too. So frustrating. Jacob has only started being pukey since giving him formula. Another thing to be guilty about!

Me I would count that as one feed I think. Was told to wake baby up after 3 hours to feed, and to gradually undress him to wake him up. I'm only going to do this while he's diddy though which won't be long going by his feeds! I hate to wake a sleeping baby.

Well we have used formula through the night. Apart from the sickly burps, Jacob has been happy to take it. Boobs are still sore which I realise they will be due to the buildup but I wince at the thought of attaching him. I feel more relaxed now at the ff route so I'm going to stop feeling guilty and just get on with it. DS is one of the healthiest children I know and I'm sure Jacob will thrive on formula too. I do feel like I've let everyone down and I've failed this aspect of parenting. That I should have just gritted through the pain like everyone else (and huge respect to those that do).... but am determined to put those thoughts to one side and focus on getting myself better and being a better mum in other ways.
I'll also hopefully be able to grab more than an hour or two of snatched sleep tonight as DP and I can start splitting the night shift. Hooray.