August 2015. It's all about food consumption and late nights at Bar Mugabe Nights

[Dozygirl]

New thread for us fast talkers

Frolic of you're stuck in traffic whip your tits out pronto!!

Fatty I'm glad you've got a plan, I bloody love a plan with a Chinese takeaway involved!!

DH is currently, hopefully getting DD to bed upstairs. She had a mammoth late nap from 2-4pm so I've attempted to keep her up in readiness for bed. Turns out my child has an awake time of precisely 2.5hrs as she fell asleep sitting up in DHs arms whilst I was cooking and he was chatting. So we've pounced on it, got her upstairs, bottle in gob etc etc and HOPING against hope that she'll sleep!!! Could be setting myself up for a nightmare night though but let's see if it works

Evening all! Missed a call from the HV, she wasn't available today, but she's going to call me on Monday. There is a duty line if I want to talk to someone over the weekend, but I don't think I need to. Spent the afternoon with a friend of mine who has a baby almost exactly a year older than J and she was really sympathetic and encouraging. We've also just put J down, so hoping he will let us have an evening together.

Giraffes I am planning to go back to work, but to a different job. I did like my current job, but I wouldn't be able to make the commute work with childcare, so looking for something closer to home.

I'm sure I will be at the bar tonight, but hopefully only once - really hope we have cracked this sleeping for now

Yep crap idea!! I'm
Now upstairs trying to get DD to sleep after she had a meltdown with DH when I tried to go down to get dinner. DH all huffy with me and comes out with the beauty "why's she not going to sleep? Why is it taking hours to put her down every night?"
Grrrrrr!!! Cheers love!

So here I am again, upstairs, solo, hungry and annoyed again - YAY! Happy Friday night all x

Hi all,

I'm another one that has skipped posting for a little while. 12-week growth spurt followed by jabs this morning have left both grumpy 2 and I a little tired and frazzled. I've been reading, but like dozy too zonked to actually post.

Hi frolic did you get stuck in traffic round Cheshire Oaks? That place is a bit like hell in the run up to Christmas. Hope you got all your shopping done though. Just before grumpy 1 was born we had all the back windows of our camper tinted black and I have been known to whack out a boob in a traffic jam incognito. I can recommend it .

Glad you have made the call tindel, sounds like a good chat with your mate was just what was needed also. You are definitely not alone in what you are feeling so hang in there chuck.

mzzzf buenos and for you mate, you are doing it tough at the moment. I love the Granny foot muff btw, defo one for the Christmas list.

joskar hope you made it to the borders and the weather is not too grim. We had giant hail here today but not the forecasted snow yet. Have a lovely weekend.

giraffes I quit my job in January so haven't got one to go back to. Current plan is to leave it until grumpy 2 is about 18-months and then start looking but I'm not in any rush. I do a fair bit of voluntary work which keeps my brain in gear.

Have totally given up on expressing / introducing a bottle, will head straight for a cup after Christmas. My parents (bless them) are going to accompany grumpy 2 and I to London in a couple of weeks and will potter around the National Gallery with her while I am in my meeting. Three generational road trip! Rock on!

I'm firmly in the no makeup camp as I look crap with it on.

Tomorrow we are off to fit my Mums new bathroom (she needs her bathroom fitting and we need money for a new front door so it's a good trade). Not my idea of a fun family weekend though. In more exciting news DH has got a new job in our home town so no more 1 hour+ commutes. Hooray!! We will see a lot more of him and it will be so great to have an extra pair of hands in the morning!

Nighty night Mugabeans x

Dig in mugabeans!

Mzzzf, to be honest I am back to letting DS sleep on me in the evening because trying to get him to settle in the crib at a reasonable time was just causing more stress and we were getting no downtime.

Frolic, I hope you are through the traffic by now. I'm guessing you're stuck on the bloody M6 - bane of us NWers' lives that motorway!

Tindel, hope you enjoy your evening and have a nice weekend.

Giraffes, I will go back to work either in April when the pay stops or will see if we might be able to afford for me to take the whole year which would be amazing.

Fatty, the sleep deprivation is horrid and as your DP doesn't live with you it must be doubly hard as the majority of the parenting falls to you I guess. Keep getting it all off your chest here love. You mentioned before that you'd struggled after your DD and it sounds like Nathan is keeping you on your toes. Glad you've got a night off and some crispy seaweed. Love that stuff and spare ribs too!

Oh god I give up on bed time. We just can't do it and am pissed off and sick of sitting in a dark room with a sleepy but not asleep baby. We are now back up and watching Adele with a glass of wine. Am sure the cracking and bringing him back through is massive 'rod for your own back' terrority but right now don't care. Of course when I am still breastfeeding my 15 year old I will eat those words.

Frolic there is nothing worse than being trapped in car with a screaming baby. Feel for you.

I never wear make up either. And not just post baby. I never did before hand either. Partly cause am too lazy to put on but also cause I am terrible at putting it on and end up looking like a clown.

DS had a terrible night last night and I am full of cold. Think babies are like sharks and can smell blood. Am sure he could sense my weakness and decided to stay up half the night. He eventually did the loudest and longest fart and then fell fast asleep. Bless him.

Tindel well done in calling the HV. Must have been v hard but great first step. And pleased you had a nice chat with your friend. It is another argument for mzzzf's commune where we all eat lentils and rock each others babies.

the cold I had at the beginning of the week has come back with a vengeance . I have a drippy nose, achey legs, sore throat and a stupid cough that hurts my C-section spot. Fucking hell. I just want to curl up in a ball, but Ds seems to have it too and is super clingy all of a sudden. Dh also has the drippy nose. We need someone to paint a Red Cross on our door.

On the plus side, we made it through the traffic jam without having to whip out my milk jugs. We were stuck on the a55 - the whole word must be coming to Wales for the weekend by the looks of it.

I'm drooling over your seaweed fatty.

mzzf. That is exactly why I've not braved bed time yet. Ds just stays down with us doing whatever until whenever. He's 3 months next week, and I know I need to start with trying to get him down sooner, but I really can't face it. I hope tonight is a good one for you.

I hope you had a nice evening tindel.

Did you see me wave slow?! Cheshire Oakes was way busier than it should be on a week day. It's not even December yet! But we did get most of the shopping sorted.
We used to have a van and I was saying to dh in the traffic how much easier it would be.
Yay to your mum and dad saving the day in London! Enjoy the bathroom fitting.

Right, Ds has finally flaked out - good night augmums. May there be plenty of sleep!

Am I the first at the bar?! In which case l'll get a round in. Tonight I fancy a large bottle of red with a bloody straw.

Well done on getting back home without flashing your bits frolic! And even more well done for smashing the majority of your Christmas shopping!!

Nolonger & Frolic - believe me I have thought of it OFTEN! But she gets into such a tizz staying downstairs after her self imposed bedtime that it's just not worth it. So solo darkness sitting it is. Some days it's easier than others.
Kbro - I'm not entirely sure there are such ways of making a rod for your own back at this young age. I mean, so they really know what's happening yet?

Slow - yay on DH being closer to home. How lovely!!!

So what also came up tonight is that DH said he needs more downtime, especially after work during the week, and that he feels I should do bedtimes solo so he has time for himself and to do bits around the house. I just nodded and said ok because 1. I can't make someone do something they don't want to do and 2. If it makes him less grumpy then it's worth it and 3. I CBA to fight over something I'm essentially already doing anyway.
He can't give me what I need (sleep, help with her etc) but I can help him with his so it seems like if I'm able to help him out I should as there's no point both of us being broken. Does that make sense?

So yes I'll be doing all the dark bedtime sessions myself but maybe I can go to sleep right after she does too (about 9pm ish). He gets solo time, I get an hour or two more of sleep, win/win maybe?! We'll see how long it lasts though as a part of me feels like he's opting out of DD stuff and from spending time with me, which is a bit painful when I think about it too much but what can I do?! Here's hoping he misses me in the evenings and that she's starts going down better eh?!

Arrrgghhh being an adult is shit!!!!!

Btw I really don't want to be sharing this wine with any of you!! Hoping ok the only Mugabe nights visitor tonight ladies!!

I'm here....the fucking kitten jumped on my head

mzzzf I know how you feel. I'm alone the majority of the time and DP still tells me he's stressed, I mean come on! You do feck all!

I did struggle after DD. I think a lot of it was going back to newborn after DS1 being so much older, and having her put a massive strain on mine and DPs relationship. With DS1 it was entirely different as I was living with my mum. Also I had a cancer scare when she was newborn. It was horrible. Just the thought that I might have cancer had me panicked and teary.

When I actually sit and think about it, I've had a pretty shit time of things, so to be where I am now I'm pleased.

As for bedtime, hahahahhahahahaha....DS2 goes to bed anywhere between 8pm (if he allows me to put him down) and 2am.

mzzf I was going to suggest keeping baby downstairs too, so you can have your evening back. But if baby likes a dark room...when do they nap before bedtime? With dd1 I used to keep her awake late afternoon but actually she needed a nap about 5pm so that there wasn't an evening meltdown. It meant she didn't start her night sleep til 830 or so but she was in a good mood. Don't know if this is relevant, just wondered whether baby may be overtired. I go to bed at 9pm ish too, it helps with sleep deprivation ;-)

frolic hope you're feeling better soon! Can't have lemsip but those Vicks vapour rub things are fine as is paracetamol or hot honey and lemon.

I agree with those who say you can't make a rod for your own back at this age. I'm sure all the baby 'rules' are just made by people wanting to sell books baby giraffe is still spending the evening being cuddled/ fed to sleep downstairs. In the night she co sleeps and feeds back to sleep. She wants to sleep on me in the night as she doesn't like the cold. Im trying to enjoy the cuddles before she starts crawling off tbh!

I'll have another butterscotch schnapps in the bar and a vodka lime and soda, yum.

Hope everyone's nights are going ok!

Is the bar still open? After 2 hours of J barely settling, I gave up and went to bed at 1030 after his feed. Woke up about 15 minutes ago with exploding boobs and wet patches everywhere! Crept downstairs to express and J then decided he was hungry. On the upside, I definitely have enough expressed milk for our meal out tonight ..

Tindel - morning! What a lovely sleep for you! And double awesome on the boobie bar expressing enough for your night out. That'll be lovely!!

Wow Tindel that's great, a six hour stretch for you to sleep hope your meal is good this evening, I'm very jealous!

I'll like to file a complaint at with Mugabe customer relations. I've had four bad nights in a row now and dh let our three year old wander in to me at 5am demanding to play games. He said he knew she was coming but couldn't stop her so while he slept I had both children to keep me awake. And baby didn't want to settle after 2.30am and ended up sleeping on me again. And dh mentioned that I've plateaued in losing baby weight for a few weeks and Ive still got my big tummy so customer relations can either substitute him or send him on some diplomacy training.

Dear Mrs Giraffes
Whilst we take all complaints seriously we are unfortunately unable to issue new DHs or modify your current DH to a more helpful model at present. We can however, issue you with a large stick and instructions on how to poke him. We hope you find this solution satisfactory for the moment whilst we work on a formula to turn DHs into thoughtful sentient beings.

Additionally management would like to advise you that your tummy isn't big it's just full of awesome so therefore looks naturally rounded. And that a baby weight will recommence reduction once the DH stick is implemented, we have reports that it really burns those bueno calories.

Finally just to reassure you all snacks and beverages consumed at Mugabe Nights are calorie free therefore you are welcome to stuff ones face.

Kind regards
Hunky Mugabe Bar-steward

Morning mugabeans! Glad you made it home frolic. Is it terrible that i have never been to Wales? I am often seen feeding ds2 in the car park of lidl if ds1 has fallen asleep and I don't want to wake him. It's not entirely uncomfortable and with the radio on I like the downtime. Dh goes and does the shopping without me so even better.

Mzzf I am a big believer in it being impossible to make a rod for your own back at this stage. Ds2 didnt like been in the livingroom with us at night either. If dd likes a quiet dark room I would just go with it. Get yourself comfy with your phone, drinks, snacks etc and enjoy the peace and quiet with your little one. It won't be forever. It sounds like you are been very pragmatic about dh's request. My dh often sleeps in the spare room and atm I prefer it. He can't help with breastfeeding so it makes sense he is rested. Plus he snores so if I am up in the night feeding his bloody snoring makes it harder for me to fall back asleep. We take it in turns to take ds1 at the crack of dawn so we both get a lie in at the weekend.

Well I don't know what is going on with ds1. The spots haven't blistered, they haven't spread, aren't itchy and he feels fine. Maybe it's not chickenpox? The antibiotics are working on the impetigo so should I send him to playgroup on Monday? Argh this parenting lark doesn't get any easier just different.

Fatty that chinese feast sounds amazing I could totally go some sweet and sour now for breakfast. We have no food in so need to go shopping ASAP if I want another cup of tea.

Anyone else feeling completely touched out? If I am not breastfeeding ds1 is clambering over me, touching my neck and face and I have had enough. I just want to sit alone for 5 minutes without someone touching me. Might have to pretend I need a poo.

Ha ha Mzzf you really made me laugh. Sorry giraffes!

Siani my dp is the same re:housework. He loves to pick on me all the time about how I can only just manage to look after dd and can't manage any housework so how will I cope with more kids etc. My mum sticks up for me though because she knows that dd either wants attention or needs help sleeping in the day time so it's impossible to get stuff done. Or she's feeding of course. He really has no idea. I need to level him with her for a day and see how much housework he gets done. He creates more work for me though by not doing simple things like putting his rubbish in the bin. I'm not his slave at the end of the day. We should still be teaming up together.

Brilliant letter Mzzzf! Can I get one of those sticks for my DH too??

Everything, YES I feel like I am never just on my own. I've told DH I will be having a bath and dyeing my hair today. Even when I go for a poo DD follows me in and loudly announces my bowel movements!

Giraffes, my DS doesn't like the cold either and once he wakes at night (3am last night so could have been worse) I have to bring him into bed with me.

Mzzf, when do you get your alone time in all this?? You might get a couple of hours in bed but what about a bit of time to just breathe, watch shit tv and just flump out without a baby to deal with?

Fatty, it does sound like you had it tough after your DD was born. Is your mum around to help this time at all? 2 under 2 and an older child is a hell of a handful. I hope you enjoyed your night off at least.

Siani and Dozy, I really don't think these blokes engage their brains before speaking do they? I am currently on bin strike to see how long before he takes the bloody thing out. I am also hoping he might hoover if I leave it long enough!

Agree with too young to make rods too. I am not going implement routines or worry about sleeping patterns until at least 6 months as at this age the babies don't even know they are a separate person.

Enjoy your Saturdays everyone. We're staying inside and snuggling up as it looks a bit cold out although at least it has stopped raining!

Thank you for all the reassurance about bedtime and that I am not still going to be nursing a 15 year old. I find it so hard not to worry am 'doing it wrong' at times. Think might give us a week off trying to introduce bedtime and then start again.

Mzzzf I hope your going to be getting yourself Saturday morning lie ins or Sunday afternoon off or some time to yourself at some point in return for your DH getting his down time. We all need baby free time.......

Hurray for Saturday. We have a quiet weekend planned. Should do some Christmas shopping really but so windy might just stay snuggled up.

Good afternoon! It's a shitty one here as we all still have the lurgy. I'm not sure if it's the same cold as we had earlier in the week or a new, shittier, one. Poor Ds has the sniffles and is really irritable. I have a sore throat and I'm worried he does too because he keeps making strange throaty noises. Calpol seemed to help last nigh.

mzzf, it's utter shit, but I do know what you mean about it being easier to do it yourself and have a rested husband. But, you do need some time to yourself as well. I don't get much at all due to dh's inability to lactate and Ds' reluctance to settle anywhere too far from the boobies. The one thing dh can do is take Ds out in the pram so I get him to do this a few times a week while I have a long hot bath. Is there anything similar your dh can do on a regular basis? I do think it's important for them to do something with the little one as well. Dh was saying this morning how crap he feels that Ds won't settle for him.
Sorry if I'm rambling a bit. I'm probably not making much sense, just know that I know how you feel and I'm thinking if you

for fatty and the rest of us who are feeling shit / having a hard time. I officially declare November as the moth of shit. Everything will be better in December, things always look better covered in fairy lights IMO [santa]

THANK YOU for reminding me about vapour rub giraffes. We are now smothered in it. I'm going to try putting it on our feet later on, because that, apparently, cures a cold.

You so need to visit Wales everything! It's the best place in the world .
No idea about chicken pox, sorry, but I hope Ds feels better soon.
I'm feeling very touched out as well. Ds had got quite independent and keen to sit in his chair / lie on the playmat, but this cold has made him very cuddly.

Stay warm everyone. See you later for some hot mulled stuff at the bar.

The moth of shit!! Ahhh frolic your typos are the best!!!

Thanks for the thoughts ladies. I'm sure they'll be chances for alone time but right now I need to sort him out I reckon.

We've had a flurry of snow here. I took the dogs out earlier and crunched my way across the fields

for fuck sakes! I previewed that post and everything. But I do actually think moths are shit!!
I'd love a crunchy snow walk. We've just got freezing drizzle

Mzzzf I love those dogs. God why did I have a baby when I could have got a dog instead? Just joking DS, just joking.