August 2015. It's all about food consumption and late nights at Bar Mugabe Nights

[Dozygirl]

New thread for us fast talkers

Tindel I hope your appt went ok! I've felt low and cried with both my babies, I think most mums do sometimes! If you do have pnd then hopefully a different, more sympathetic GP may be able to give helpful suggestions and treatment and the health visitor should offer some support and advice. Being a mum is very hard, don't feel bad for not always being perfect, no one is!

Also, don't pay attention to mums who claim to know it all or have 'easy' babies - we all know they go on to have the worst terrible twos in fact my first baby was really hard and I really struggled, I was hopeless, she cried all the time etc. but then she was easy from aged 2, never tantrumed etc I'm sure you're doing great, your baby loves you more than anything, you're his mum

Giraffes your post has made me smile as I had a tantrumming 27 month old DD this afternoon because she wanted to go to the park but refused to hold my hand to cross the road to get there. 10 seconds later she saw a dog and was all smiles!! She was an easy baby...ha ha!

One thing to add to the comments about being a mum being a job. I said to DH that if he makes a mistake at work because he's tired then the worst that can happen is he gets in trouble with his boss* whereas a precious life is dependent on me not making a mistake.

*clearly my DH's job is not very crucial as obviously a brain surgeon or pilot would also have a life depending on them!

Haha. DS1 was a really tough baby, he was a brilliant toddler though.
DD was an easy baby, she is now nicknamed the demon...

Actually my mum always says that about me. I was her first baby and she thought well this is not too bad. Then hello very very terrible twos!

Oh tindel, I can only repeat what everyone else has said but you're doing so fabulously excellently amazingly well. It's INCREDIBLY though. All the buenos in the world for you, I think you're terribly brave and very wise to voice your thoughts. I think you should give the lovely HV a call, no harm can come from it. Lots and lots of lovely thoughts and sleepy vibes to you xxxx

You know what, second jabs are fine! She obviously cried and went beetroot (and I obviously cried too) but then she's actually been 'nicer'/better today than the last over the last few. She hasn't cried half as much. Now I don't know if that's because my mum came down for the day and she was showing off...

x

Oh and apparently I was a lovely baby (I'm a second child and slotted in nicely) but man when I got to 2 I was a terror!! Tantrum central, I'd only wear 'boys' clothes, only eat square shaped foods, I was very spirited

Aloha folks!
Posting rather than just reading tonight. I fancy a mulled wine with this weather raging outside.

DD was an arse to put down again. All sleepy post books and cuddles at 8pm so left DH to it, cue crying ins after I left the bedroom. So I came back up as I don't want her howling until she's sick, which is normally the case, she fell asleep at 8.30pm on the bed between so I left DH to transfer to cot. Transferred ok then blue murder screaming 10mins later. Came back up to help DH and tag him out, DD asleep within 5mins on the bed but every time I left the room shed wake up crying - how does she bloody know if she's asleep?!?!!' We've had a few wake ups but sssh patted back to sleep until now where she's done a milk/shit combo and is now flaked out on a pillow snoring!! Lord have mercy on my eye bags!!!
I did sadistically work out that it's not only been 15 and a half weeks of not having one full nights sleep but about 22 as the last few preggo weeks were sleepless too. can anyone hear the worlds smallest violin?!

So this must be sleep regression on top of broken nights anyway - thanks Mother Nature! She better have developed a bloody fantastic skill after this one! Juggling? Fluent French?

Tindel - hope your at least on the road to feeling better if not totally there yet. I've certainly had (and probably will have again) all those feelings. Hormones, sleep deprivation, emotional upheaval etc will do that to a girl! Don't be afraid of it, it's still a wound of childbirth that needs attention. You wouldn't let a cut keep bleeding hoping it'll stop, mental stuff really shouldn't be looked at any differently to physical stuff. It doesn't make you weak or weird or less, you just need some expert attention to attend to that 'wound'. We've got your back missus x

On a lighter note I called DH out on his ways at the moment. Said I couldn't manage his feelings and emotions and a baby. He later apologised, good man. Even layer on I offered a quickie, he said no, bad man!! I mean wtf is so unappealing about milk stained joggers, posset covered t shirt and a eye bags that rival mick jagger?!

Hope the rest of you have at least got some zzzz's in!

I'd kill for some salted honey crusted cashews right now to accompany my mulled wine and blocks of ice feet. Thinking of getting one of those giant booties, old ladies have, for keeping my feet warm in the night!!

An amazing idea non?!

mzzzf you go girl - giant bootee a great look - imagine leaping up and forgetting you've got it on - splat

tindel sending love and smiles - you are doing great - your baby needs and loves you more than anyone in the world - you've got this far - as you know I'm on number 6 and still learning and every baby is so different - your baby is warm, clean, fed and loved all thanks to you. I would call the health visitor - she will have way more experience and empathy than your GP as will deal with mums all day whose feelings are mixed up and sometimes you just need to have a chat and for someone experienced to reassure you X

everything glad potty training going well. I have waited until all of my DCs are almost 3 then they just seem to 'get it' and trained in a week. Some friends think DCs should be trained at 2-2.5 but they just seem to have constant accidents. I HATE public loos and I remember all my DC being fascinated by the and needing a million wees every time we went out!

frolic have a fantastic break

giraffe my DD4 was an angel baby - she is now the Tantruming Two Year old from hell - can tantrum over nothing - yesterday I took the banana out the skin for her but she wanted to peel it??!!

Another blustery morning here. The school do a busy start morning where parents can go in for first half hour - have to go or 5 year old will be upset but it's a nightmare taking toddler (who will tantrum as she won't want to come out!) and baby. Then I have a meeting with Head Teacher and an Educational Phycologist about my 7 year old who has been struggling at school - pray baby sleeps throughout!! I then intend to come home and catch up with I'm A Celeb........Wishing everyone a great day

Seems like the majority of us are going through sleep regression! Not good but at least we're in this together! The last few nights DS has gone from being laid down in his Moses asleep or nearly asleep and nodding straight off around 8.30 to being 'wide awake' (read massively overstimulated and over tired) even at 10pm so at first I kept him downstairs hoping he would fall asleep the later it got but he didn't so the last couple of nights I've taken him up and sat in the dark with him for about 1.5 hours. Both times he has only fell asleep after getting so tired he's cried at which point I pick him up and have had to cuddle to sleep! He's also even more unsettled over night making little crying noises almost every 30 minutes! Thankfully the dummy being put back and hand on his chest for a few mins sends him bs k off but I'm goosed! DH asked how he'd slept as he was getting ready for work earlier and when I said not good said 'right today when your in from your class put him down for a nap and you sleep' me: "it's not that easy he isn't a fan of naps at the mo" him: "well you do everything- blanket, dummy, white noise etc- he can't have just stopped sleeping" me: "oh believe me I try all that and yes,yes he has that's exactly what he's done" he really hasn't a clue!!

No longer- that is one of my biggest worries- DH NEVER hears DS in the night and I have to work nights when I go back sometimes and I'm just not sure what we'll do!

Slowife- giggled at the bath water and your DH and grumpy 1 calling him out on his diy!!

Tindel- sorry the gp wasn't very helpful I think talking to the Hv is a good idea if you have a good one- mine is amazing and I know id rather talk to her than I doc if I was struggling.

Fanby- we had a similar experience with second jabs- the third lot were not quite so good though!

Mzzf- yes to the no full nights sleep since pretty much the start of the third trimester! Try explaining that to DH though! Love the foot muff idea although could be potentially dangerous when you forget in a sleep deprived state your feet are in it and stand up and fall over as feet are stuck together! hope you're sharing those cashews- yum yum!

Loveandsmiles hope school goes well this morning!

I'm off for a shower even though I desperately want to go back to sleep as DS has done but I know if I do I'll miss sensory class this morning and then feel crappy all day for sitting in! He woke at 0620 screaming for food and only took 3pz and is asleep again!? It does worry me how little he takes first thing as he hasn't eaten since 8pm and usually only takes about 4oz before falling back asleep on me- today is a particularly pitiful amount.

Morning all and Mugabes all round.

Tindel I think it sounds like a great idea to speak to your HV. Sounds like you are doing a great job with J and I'm sure he adores you more than anything.

Love the footmuff MzzzF, maybe we could all wear them in the commune?!

Napping has definitely gone backwards here - after a couple of weeks of short Moses basket and pushchair naps we're back to sling only. DS has a cold so burying my head in the sand and telling myself it's that. No sleep regression here, nope, no siree, not for us thanks

Has anyone got any tips on swapping from BF to formula? There's not a lot of info out there... I have no idea how much DS drinks at each feed at the mo so not sure the amount of formula we should give him... Do you tend to go with the suggested amount on the tin or is it more trial and error? DS is small for his age (2nd centile) so am a bit worried about potentially over feeding him. Also I feed on demand now, but with formula do you tend to have fixed feed times? Thanks wise ones.

Hope everyone has an ace day, it's looking a bit grey in London but hopefully the winds will have died down, yesterday was crazy blowy.

clstow I ff from birth so no advice going from bf to ff, but I would go off the recommended on the tin. I let Nathan feed on demand when he was small and he is now settled into a routine of every 2-3 hours.

HV got snarky with me when I told her he's drinking 8 oz of hungry baby formula every 2-3 hours. She said I must be over feeding him. I explained that he's a very wriggly rolly active baby, and I'd had him weighed the week before and they told me he was fine, she checked and it turns out hes actually dropped slightly from the 98th to just below the 91st centiles.(the clinic didn't plot it) So then she said I need to introduce solids! Don't get me wrong, I plan on doing so soon, but don't try and tell me I'm feeding my baby too much then in the next breath tell me its not enough! Argh!

But yeah, go off the tin, see what he takes and adjust to suit.

tindel hope you have a good chat with the hv. I'm sure they'll be able to help. You've got us too. Off load as much as you like. J does love you utterly, completely and totally. That's a huge big thing that can be quite overwhelming. It feels like such a responsibility. Just remember that we've been having babies since forever and ever so that bond isn't going away. It's a massive thing to get your head round and a huge change in your life. It's ok to be wobbly.

I couldn't be doing with the foot muff. So hot. Like a huge, sweaty, flappy, flobby, dangly beast. Good job Dh doesn't stop fancying me!

Not to distress anyone but my bad sleeper baby is also a tantrum queen. Epic, massive, furious rages. I'm holding out for peaceful teens! It's a marathon not a sprint this parenting.

I think the bf to ff advice is to go gradually. So start giving one bottle a day then two the next week/in a few days then three bottles and so on. You want to avoid getting blocked ducts or mastitis. The baby will adjust feeds accordingly. I went back to work when dd1 was 8 months old so we just gave her food when I was at out but other friends went back at six months or before and they kept one or two feeds a day at first so as to maintain a bit of normality but obviously you don't have to do that. Up to you when you want to feed. The baby won't starve themselves. The infant feeding team at your hospital might have more advice. Or the health visitor perhaps.

Dd2 only has a wee feed in the early morning, lily. Reckon it must be pretty normal.

Today I'm making a chocolate cake and packing in preparation for our weekend away in Melrose tomorrow. I hate packing the worst of all other tasks. Don't know if the cake will make it down the road! Might have to eat it all up to get through the packing! Also heavy snow forecast for the A9. Buggeration.

Thanks for all of your lovely words, it means a lot and made me cry! Partly in a good way, but am also ashamed of how I've been and worried it will affect J.

Yesterday seems to have opened a floodgate, as I have been quite weepy ever since. I just seem to have no defences against J crying and it sets me off. Meeting up with NCT girls later this afternoon and DH is due home early, so we are going to have a proper chat. Am going to ring the health visitor tomorrow morning once I've worked out what I am going to say.

Am feeling a bit feeble and pathetic at the moment, I'm not very good at asking for help. Talking to the nurse yesterday highlighted that I am maybe a bit isolated and that I had a lot to deal with when J was born (preeclampsia, emcs at 35 weeks) and perhaps it would help to talk to someone to help me cope a bit better.

I keep saying that J is lovely, but honestly, he's also grumpy most of the time and I can't seem to be able to fix it or get it right, which I'm finding really hard to deal with.

Mugabe all,

Soz I haven't been talkative in the bar lately - I'm so tired from dd being up all the time that I never really leave Mugabe Nughts, I'm just sitting at the bar throwing them back!

Been really struggling with the sleep regression like it sounds most of you have. I missed my circuit training on tues bc dd was in such foul form and again today. I really need those classes for destressing! Last night at 5.30 am, after not going down for an hour, I tried to get into Mugabe but my browser wouldn't load it. End of the straw for me! Burst into tears, woke DH up who took the baby so I could sleep an hour. He "needed" a lie in today after being up ONE hour at almost dawn, I wanted to scream that this is all night, every night for me!!

I forgot who said it here but someone had said their dc wouldn't sleep in a carrier unless they were outside/walking. So I tried that today and she loved it! Walked into town for coffee with moms post-circuit training and she slept in the carrier. That means she's not overtired and is sleeping on me again now. Thank god for the small miracles :)

Tindel, big hugs to you. It's hard and you're doing great. You're doing the right thing to reach out and I hope it gets you some relief. Here, I made you a Feel Better Soon cocktail. It tastes like chocolate, will get you drunk without any hangover and has 8 if those tiny umbrella things.

Clstow- when I transitioned over I did it slowly as has been suggested and still ended up with an engorged boob one day so definitely slowly! I started with one bottle a day for 3 days and then 2 for 3 days and so on until all bottles. I still fed him on demand whilst he was transitioning whether that being a bottle or bf and tended to alternate between the 2 once he was on more than one bottle a day. It took me about 3 weeks in total, I'd have probably took longer if I hadn't been so utterly at my wits end with BF! Amount wise I would go off the tub for the first one and see how much he takes- if he finishes it next bottle give him an extra ounce,if he leaves lots next time take an ounce away etc. I was utterly confused by it to start but now it's second nature and I'm still upping and downing his feeds depending on how he's eating!

Good to know yours only has a little in the morning too joksar but it is weird isn't it you'd think they'd be starving after not eating all night! Oh and mmmmm choc cake!

Tindel- don't feel ashamed you absolutely are not the only person to be feeling/ having felt like this. And I will not remember his mummy being a bit upset you are not harming him. Much better to let it out than bottle it up. Although I have to admit I am not good at showing emotion not at asking for help either so it's well and good me saying that, I appreciate how difficult it is. There was a mum at sensory this morning with an 8 week old who was asking the other mums lots of questions and sounding like she was struggling and amongst other things one mum said to her 'it's the hardest thing I have ever done in my whole life do not worry you are doing well' just thought I'd pass it on.

Grok- sorry your having a tough time too, I think we are all about overtired/ miserable/ angry at the mo aren't we.

Went to see my nana after sensory group which was lovely. She adored DS and how big he has got and he was all smiles for her which was nice as she could only hold him for a tiny bit as he's wriggly and she's 93!! Stayed chatting for ages and as a result had to come home without going for my usual Thursday Costa treat and trip to the retail park because I couldn't leave the dogs alone any longer. Probably for he best as I really wanted chocolatey treats in Costa even though I've been being good for 2 weeks without faultering and probably would have given in. I'll go tomorrow instead. Still need to go back out later though as need to get DS's prescription (finally saw a doc for his eczema) and need eggs for meatballs for tea!! Really don't want to go though it's lashing it down so I'll see how long I can put it off for!

Tindel - hang on in there lovely, you're a super star xx

Mzzzf - I'll take one of those heated booties please!! Save me a place in the commune. I make a mean pui lentil salad with feta, tomatoes, olives and runner beans...hope you've managed to get a nap in today, you're doing amazing x

Loveandsmiles - pls continue to share your toddler stories, they really make me chuckle. I too am really enjoying I'm a celeb x

Lily - you need a nap too, that doesn't sound like a fun night. My DH is the same, thinks I can nap even when she's awake during the day, WTF?!

Grok - my DH is also complaining of tiredness, he still manages to play football every week, went out last night and wanted to go for a run tonight, I've actually put my foot down. I'm so tired I need a break. We've compromised and he's going to take molly for a walk instead. How.fucking.kind. Grrrr.

Having an emotional day myself. Cried to the health visitor and feel a bit better about stuff. All the other mums there looked so clean and had good hair and make up on. I hate them. They are letting the side down...can we bar them from Mugabe nights? x

In fact sod it, can we enforce a dress code where you're only allowed in if you haven't brushed your teeth before midday, covered in milky, dribbly clothes, need a root touch up and a wax....

Fanby that salad sounds ace send one my way! I'd love a nap but DS had one whilst we were at my nanas and I could hardly have one then and now he's playing! I'm betting he'll fall asleep just as he rain stops and then I'll have to pop out! our DHs clearly think our DC have an 'off' switch eh- Ives checked him over several times and there's no sign of one!!

I have to admit as tired as I am I think I'll force a run again tonight the break really improves my mood.

Sorry Fanby I've violated the dress code- I try and get basic makeup on everyday for 3 reasons- 1. I feel extra miserable if I know I look like crap 2. Although I'm 28 I look v.young and get disapproving looks from people like I'm 16 with a baby or something- the first time I went to swimming with DS and had no makeup on the teacher said to me 'your doing really well with him, young mums are often very nervous in the water' oh cheers! (Btw nothing against with people having babies young it just annoys me that people always think I'm in school!!) And 3. DH innocently asked me the other day if I was ok as I looked very warm- rosy cheeks- I didn't have makeup on and my skin is quite red in the cheeks My hair defo isn't good though I've taken to letting it dry naturally and it is just a giant curly birds nest!! I feel like it's lovely ringlet curls and then catch sight of my reflection and I'm like

Haha fanby I can come if that's the dress code - I stopped getting my hair coloured several years ago, am not particularly into fashion and have a few staple items in my wardrobe and avoid through away purchases I do put a little make up on to hide the bags and I wear some perfume to mask any potential baby sick smell haha

Hi all! Just in from coffee with a friend and her six month old which was lovely. We're going to a wedding tomorrow and DS is staying with my parents overnight. Just packing his things and realised how worried I am about hum and how much I don't really want to leave him!! Re formula, DS takes anywhere from 60 to 160 ml per feed but is usually around 100 but I always offer 160 in case he wants it. I do cheat a bit though and use the ready made formula! I feed on demand and he goes anywhere from 2 to 4 hours depending on the time of day.

To cheer us all up I thought I'd share this I just came across ......(we sing the clean version at one of my groups but this one had me in stitches!)

"Wind the mummy up, wind the mummy up. Whinge, cry, crap, crap, crap.

Wind her up again, wind her up again. Squeal, run, refuse to nap.

Point to the ceiling, point to the floor, slip where the baby just vommed by the door.

Clap your hands together one, two, three. Wear tena lady because you can't hold your wee."

That's the unmumsey mum!! I've just liked that on FB

Notes for today:
Do not drive to lidl. Do not specifically pick one with an in store bakery. Do not purchase goats cheese and pesto flatbread thingy and scoff in car before even halfway home!!
Also do not buy fake buenos and smash them for the rest of your 'lunch'.

At least the food during sleep regression is awesome!!!

In other news mini mzzzf has now mastered rolling from back to front. Now she's acquired a new skill, dare I hope for sleep?! Cue hollow laugh!!

Correct Mzzf!!! Cracked me up!!

Wow your lunch was epic! Mine was boring healthy soup bleurhh!!

Impressed with mini Mzzf rolling clever girl. DS hasn't bothered to try again since he got as far as his side one day last week it's like he's forgotten. I worry he isn't laid down enough as I don't want him in the floor with the dogs around.