August 2015. It's all about food consumption and late nights at Bar Mugabe Nights

[Dozygirl]

New thread for us fast talkers

giraffe haha hilarious playgroup story - you have a very clever DD who will obviously go to any lengths for cake - a girl after my own heart. Will you ever be able to show your face there again?!?!

frolic there is definitely something about a fireman but I never want to meet one looking like that again!!!

everything you have to get straight out of the pool and go as you are - not allowed to pop back into changing rooms - and yes, rubbish weather in Fife too. Your DS1 did fab with potty training yesterday - how old is he? My DD4 is 3 in March - I tried potty training just before baby arrived but she wasn't ready - might try again over the Xmas hols - one of my least favourite things of having a child!

Does anyone watch I'm a Celeb? Loving it already and disappointed it wasn't on last night, so went to bed early.
DD slept from 9-2 last night which was good, then fed from 2-4 to make up for it which was not so good, especially as I get up at 5am - still, do feel better for having had a chunk of sleep

Off to nail salon (again!) today - DH keeps moaning about it but I care not a jot - it is my one special treat to myself. Been going for years and the salon don't mind toddler and baby being with me and I get to catch up on all the gossip - my little hour of pleasure keeps me sane.......

Ahh giraffes that's bloody brilliant!! A little cake fiend!

Well done to all you getting some zzz's and coffee/cake (if baby giraffe doesn't get there first!) for those of us where it's still shit.

I literally just don't get what I can do for the tricksy little minx that is dd. she falls asleep instantly on our bed, even if we're not holding her. So it makes me wonder if her cot mattress is too hard - does anyone have a spangly memory foam cot mattress or just bog standard ones?

She's always had crap second half of the night sleeping but now the first half of the night is fucking up too I feel a bit gutted, because I clouds usually at least get a 3hr chunk before the hours wake ups. God I am envious of those of you with sleepers!! And I'm constantly questioning what I not doing/doing wrong, but she had more than enough milk in her, was a good temp, in a quiet dark room etc etc Maybe some babies are just sleep related knobheads!

The fleecey pjs we're going well until she vomited over them. DH bought her all the way down stairs to tell me this and try and change her. Arrrgh hall her clothes are upstairs for precisely this reason so that she doesn't get re-stimulated by the brighter living room lights, what a div!

I think he's knackered though as he asked me if there is anything planned for this weekend and when I said no he replied with "thank god for that!" Women really are the stronger sex in many ways aren't we?!

Love - I love a bit of I'm A Celeb. But I'm watching it a day behind its aired!!

Oooh and I can catch up with catastrophe this morning! Got to take the good times where you can right?!

Hi
Giraffe I go to a baby and toddler group and yes I am holding, feeding or watching the baby most of the time. Ds1 just gets left to get on with it and play. I tend to only intervene if he's getting into conflicts with other kids. Ds1 is always saying it's his birthday too. He hasn't got cake yet though, he would probably do it everyday if he did.

Loves ds1 is 3 next month so felt we should make a start before he starts school nursery in Jan. Having said that I think you just have to wait until they are ready, it seems to be working so far here.

Mzzf I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Some babies just take a while to get into a decent sleep pattern. Having said that ds2 slept really well on his new mattress last night but I think that was more to do with him being able to move around without hitting his arms and legs. If she sleeps well in your bed have you considered cosleeping for a while?

Right suppose I better get dressed etc...have a good Wednesday everyone

Good morning!! I had too much to catch up on, but highlights really are the playgroup and swimming story! Brilliant, put a smile on my face first thing fo'sure.

So we've played hardball since moving the cot into our room (ours is a sprung mattress btw, with two thick soft blankets on top for her to lie on, yes she's a princess) and what are we on night 5?! Can't remember anyway I went to bed at 8:45 leaving madam up with DH so they could watch the football, apparently she chugged 4oz of EBM and went to sleep at 9:40 she didn't wake up until 3:10 and then 6:30! Feel so much happier today already.... Although it's jabs day at noon

Im so tired. And why are men arses? My house is a mess, my body is a mess, my whole fecking life seems a mess right now.

Sorry for self pitying post. I need

mzzf J is the same, I put him in our bed after DH had left and he was completely out. I can't cosleep, am just too scared about hurting him, so lay there staring at him for 20 minutes, then moved him back to the Moses basket and went back to sleep.

People keep saying about babies finding their own sleep pattern - I really hope it happens soon for J. I find it so hard to help him when he's crabby from being so tired. We are trying a routine, but he seems to snap awake the minute he goes into the Moses basket. A dummy tends to help him go to sleep, but we are then on replacement duty for at least an hour afterwards. We're supposed to be going out for dinner on Saturday and I just can't work out how he's going to be! Am going to talk to my friend who's agreed to babysit and see what she wants to do ...

Morning all. I need a virtual slap please, do they do those at the bar I wonder?! Feeling really like I can't be arsed but actually didnt have a bad night and know I should be revelling in not feeling exhausted instead of moping around.

That said the swimming and playgroup stories cheered me up, I might try the birthday trick to get me some cake

Fatty don't worry about your house, you've got 3 young kids, thats quite enough work, never mind chores. Hope you get some and feel better.

I'm also loving I'm a celeb so far. Lady C during the eating task was comedy gold.

Good for you getting your nails done Love, I'm with you on that one. I reckon it's important to keep hold of some things that are about you, not the baby (babies in your case!)

Gotta go as snotty DS is needing attention. Feels like we only just got over one cold and now another has arrived. At least it gives me an excuse to have a long hot shower

Mzzf - it's not you. Dd1 woke every 90 minutes at this age. Or even more often. She sleeps through (8-6) now. It broke me at the time because I thought it was all my fault. I had all these really fucking smug friends who would recommend this routine or that book and claim that it made their child sleep (translation: you are a crap mum doing it all WRONG and letting everyone down with your CRAPNESS). Dd1 just wouldn't do it. We had routine, Ewan the dream sheep, gro bags, blankets, plinking nightlight, massage, the works. Nothing worked. Awful. It came good in the end though. It's not you.

love fantastic fireman/swimming story!

giraffe kid after my own heart! I'd do that for cake too!

Baby in stretchy sling at baby groups. Also we have a couple of bouncers at our local group because so many of us have gone on to have another bairn.

Dh eventually arrived home so the children and dog are safe. He's finally finished a big job (3 years!) so with any luck he'll get paid soon. It'll be a relief. We usually only have my wage and obviously that's not happening just now. Maternity benefit from now on. I'm glad we live in a country with such a thing but it bugs me that the assumption is that the bloke is the main wage so you only need a wee bit to live on. Last time Dh didn't get paid for the entire time I was off work. However hopefully it will be ok this time. If I don't blow it all on mini stollen and Jaffa cakes that is!

Usually when I'm pissed off at Dh the trouble is lack of dtd. Waiting to feel like it would mean I'd never do it because I'm always tired. I get into it once we get into it iyswim. The big problem at the moment is finding a room without a child in it. Need to get a babysitter for an hour. Or you know 20 mins...been a while!

Hahaha Joskar - and what would you do with the remaining 15mins?! Well done Mr Joskar for getting the job done - show me the buenos money!

Thanks for that re the sleep. I have a contrary monkey for a child it seems. Deep breath and carry on. Diets and fitness can fuck off until I'm sleeping like the magical fairytale baby!!!

Sorry for the swearyness, but it helps!! Sometimes I think living in a hippy commune with lots of other baby laden ladies around is the way forward. Lentils anyone?!

Yes Mugabe's dishes out slaps and grips. Feel free to order!!

mzzzf, tindel the sleep thing is not down to anything you are doing. Sure you can encourage babies to sleep better by trying all the things you are, but some just don't play along. It will get easier. Promise. Until then just don't drive yourself crazy looking for answers where there aren't any. And throwing money at the issue seldom seems to work either so save your pennies for buenos xx

mzzzf if it makes you feel any better, Fergus hasn't slept more than 3h at a time since that night when he slept through. He's been asleep around 10 pm and up at 11:30, 2, 4, and 7:30, every night lately and feeding for OVER AN HOUR at each waking. I feel like a zombie and I'm desperately trying to think what I am doing wrong. Aren't his feeds supposed to last 5-10 minutes now?? Isn't he supposed to sleep at least a bit more than he did at 4 weeks by now?? He managed to vomit past all the many blankets, towels, incontinence pads etc into my side of the bed last night, too, so I had to do my half hour long sleeps in his sick.

I'm so with all of you feeling irrationally pissed off with husbands and partners, too. I feel like since I'm not working I ought to be handling a the housework, cooking, cleaning, etc. But I'm clearly not managing it all so I feel like a failure, plus it's getting GRIM. He's put dinner on a few times, but he's not washed up in over a month, and he's not given me a single penny towards groceries, and I've bought everything for the past couple of months. I'm sure if I asked he'd do stuff, but everything I've asked for so far has been met with sighs and huffing. And little things are driving me NUTS, like the fact that every time he needs cutlery or plates he gets them out of the cupboard instead of just using the clean ones in the drying rack so I have more to put away. A shag would probably sort it out, but it's always been me who kept that on track and I'm tired and feel physically repellent what with the mum tummy and the constant smell of milk and the fact that if I take my bra off I'm soaked to the waist in sticky milk immediately.

Well, we are all packed and ready to go for our mini break in Liverpool. The weather is mega horrible. Is it wrong that all i really want to do is stay home, cuddle Ds and eat bueno's? I can't get excited about shopping when I'm such a big, fat, skint mess. And I've got a crappy thickly cough that is making my c-section scar very ouchy

I think your first born is a genius giraffes! Fancy working out exactly how to get cake at such a young age! I'm very impressed!

I'm definetly for lentils mzzf! as long as the commune is near a lidl, obviously!
I think jockstar is bang on with her advice. But, if you do want to try something I can't rave enough about how useful the sleepyhead has been in getting Ds to go between our bed and the crib without much fuss. Apologies if you've already tried.

Arf at any thoughts of dtd! There is nothing sexy about me at the moment.

Happy Wednesday augmums! May the weather, our moods, and the behaviour of our babies and better halfs improve.

Well! Dh came home a bit early at lunchtime because he was off skivving to a whisky tasting jolly this afternoon and needed a lift. Baby asleep. Toddler at nursery. Whoopee! Not our finest effort but it's a start. Turned out we didn't need those extra 15 mzzf!

Thanks for all of the advice - it all came to a bit of a head this morning. J was grouchy most of the morning and I ended up in tears in front of the nurse due to give J his jabs. I ended up baring my soul a bit (including my suspicion J doesn't really like me) and I've now been flagged as potentially having postnatal depression. Was due to speak to my GP this evening about my blood pressure and now he's going to talk to me about this as well! Not sure what to do - he's not been particularly sympathetic or helpful since J was born, so I don't really feel comfortable talking about it to him. I'm also not sure what they would do if they did decide I have it. If I'm honest, I am feeling a bit low and occasionally wondered if J would be better off with a different mummy who knew what she was doing. I think I've been depressed before, but never had any help for it and not sure I want any.

Spoke to DH and have played it down and said I will assure the GP everything's fine. He has said he realises he should be more supportive, although he was late home last night and will be again tonight, as his work is really busy at the moment.

Currently have J asleep in the sling, so going to potter about the house for a bit and then slob out in front of mindless telly for a while

Afternoon all,

Hope no one is getting too bashed by the storm!

I second the advice on sleep problems, some babies sleep really easily and for long periods and others don't. With dd1 I spent most of her first year taking her out for walks with the pram as that was how I could get her to nap. I got very fit and was able to eat lots of cake (the upside) but I did feel really disheartened when other mums would suggest I should just 'put her in the cot' or tell me I spoiled her, or suggest I leave her to cry. They do all sleep fine in the end, but if you don't mind using a sling/pram/feeding to sleep or something else then do whatever it takes to keep you sane.

Baby giraffe likes white noise and/or feeding to sleep at night, during the day she likes being walked in the pram, which suits me as I get exercise and fresh air.

For those whose babies don't like cots but do like their beds, perhaps you could sleep on their cot sheet and rotate it to their bed the following night so that it smells of you? Or try a hot water bottle to warm the cot? I've put a cot bumper on the outside of the cot as I thought it was a bit draughty. I think baby giraffe likes being warm too, I keep the temperature at the top end of the recommended. That being said she's not a great sleeper, she goes about 4 hours between feeds in the night and often wakes in the early hours to do mega poos.

Catch you all in the bar later, I'll bring some flapjack I made if little giraffe hasn't scoffed it all first

tindel accepting help is nothing to be ashamed of. I had PND with DD. It was awful. You can get through thus, and trust me, J needs and lives you, not some other randomer.

Oh tindel you poor thing. I can absolutely guarantee you that j does like you. He loves you more than anything else in the whole world because you are his world. No one else could do a better job. None of us mums even 2nd, 3rd, 6th timers know what we are doing most of the time. We are all just trying our best and muddling through.

Put your feet up in front of the telly and speak to the gp later on. If you don't find him particularly helpful maybe ask to see someone else. I am sure there is help out there that suits you and in the meantime you have us.

Go Joskar! And Mr Joskar too of course

Tindel I would tell the gp the truth and share with your OH too though I know that's easier said than done. As everything said- we already are all muddling through- I certainly wouldn't claim I know what I'm doing! Everytime I feel like I've cracked something something else appears that's totally new and confusing so do not worry it's not just you. J also needs and loves you so much you really are his everything. Big hugs and let us know how it goes later, I for one think it's definately easier to share true feelings I here than to people in RL. No judging and it doesn't involve talking which so often makes me cry!!

I don't know if this will work or not, but according to the Christmas bargain thread you can get £10 off a £30 spend at frugi with the code CHIMNEY.

Just thought I would let everyone know

Ah tindel sending you lots of Internet love. Also think if you can you should be honest with the gp. Is there another one you can ask to see who you'd find more helpful?

Motherhood is so hard - by far the hardest thing have ever done. Babies are so dam confusing. Lily I completely agree that you get one thing cracked and something else comes along to throw you.

Mzzzf sorry to hear you are having such a hard time at night. You must be super woman to keep going. I have no advice only to back up what jokstar says. DS just completely and utterly randomly will have v good nights and it is nothing I do. I Know that's no help but it honestly won't be something you are doing or not doing. I feel the same about bedtime. We have been trying for weeks to get DS a bedtime but no joy. In fact he is going to be later than ever. I am driving myself crazy worrying what I am doing wrong. And stressing cause the people I did NCT with all have babies that nap in the cot and go to bed. DH just shrugs and says we'll try again tomorrow. For all my moaning on here about him, his calmness is vital to my anxiety.

Fatty thanks for that code!! Totally going to give it a go.

Love love love the playgroup bday cake story!!

Hi all,

First time I've sat down all day and have a boob out as usual so not even that restful!

Tindel, I hope you got on ok at the GP. After my DD was born I felt like I wasn't good enough for her too and was so lost. It really helped to talk to someone and I got through it and now love being a mum.

Frolic, have an amazing time in Liverpool!

I've lost track of who else said what but sleep wise we are back to waking every couple of hours and not being able to put DS in the crib after the 3am wake up. Like others he settles straight away on our bed so we are cosleeping the second half of the night. Mzzf, I wondered exactly the same about the crib mattress as it does seem pretty thin.

I think Dozy mentioned boob preferences. Well my DS hates my right boob too. No idea why but he always prefers the left to the point I express off the right while feeding on the left and then freeze that for the bottles. Giraffes I might try your suggestion of sleeping on the sheet.

Our playgroup has bouncers too for the babies and luckily DS seems to nap at toddler group time too. Loved the cake story too and the swimming pool!

Loving the Jungle here too. It's mine and DH's fave! He's washing up while I watch Catastrophe and mn before it starts.

We're friends again now but that wasn't true at 5am this morning after I'd been awake feeding since 3 but had to go for a poo (yy to whoever said bfing makes them poo!). I'm on the loo and I can hear ds crying and when I got back into the bedroom DH had done nothing to try and sooth him. His excuse was he thought I was in bed and letting him cry to see if he'd settle himself! Ffs!!!! I never leave him to cry. It really worries me though that he wouldn't wake if I wasn't there so I don't feel I could ever have a night away.

Oh and yes I do see the in laws a fair bit but that's because they live several hours drive away and at the coast so we make it a nice weekend break (usually) whereas my parents are only an hour away so come over most weeks just for a day. I still can't get on with my mil though no matter how often I see her!!

Hoping we all get better nights tonight.

Evening all,

Having finally got to the point where grumpy 2 will exit the bath without screaming the house down I thought it was safe to read grumpy 1 her bedtime story tonight and leave DH to bath the little one... epic fail. All hell broke loose half through the story, turns out DH had accidentally dropped a bit of bathwater (water mind, not soap or shampoo) in the little dwarfs eye and she was NOT AMUSED. Some 40 minutes of indignant screaming later and she is now safely snoozing in her cot. I couldn't help but giggle, she was definitely eyeballing DH in a way that said "Daddy, how could you! You tried to blind me!" Poor DH

Our washing machine is buggered again. This is not a good thing, the last time it broke DH had it in pieces and it took three days for him to fix it again . Grumpy 1 reminded him of this fact this evening, I think he might have called her a smart arse but I cannot be sure

tindel hope it all went well at the GP this evening. I agree with all those who have encouraged you to be open and honest with him. If he then isn't that helpful make an appointment to see someone else. PND is not to be messed with, if you need help you should definitely get it. Don't underestimate how bad the lack of sleep may be making you feel as well. Sleep deprivation is such a trigger for depression, combine that with the sheer enormity of taking on parenting for the first time and its a wonder we all cope at all. Sending you lots of good wishes for a better night ahead xx

fatty hope you too are having a better day (and thank you for the discount code, I shall give that a whirl later). Don't apologise for having a moan, as lily says, this is the place for sharing the stuff you cant in RL.

love you have reminded me of how grim potty training was. Definitely a period in grumpy 1s life that I have conveniently glossed over in my memory. everything hope you had an accident free day today.

fanby how did the jabs go? And well done Molly for getting on with her new sleeping arrangements! We have our 12 week jabs on Friday and I am not looking forward to them - boo hiss.

mzzzf I'll join you on the commune, we'll come and live in our van. I could totally live on lentils and lets face it getting a shower round here is not a given at the moment anyway!

Woo hoo joskar

giraffe I've cheated and grumpy 2 has arrived just as grumpy 1 has started school. I am in awe of all you Mums with a toddler and a baby. Toddler groups look like very hard work, buenos all round. Maybe you could take DD1 around all the local venues blagging free cake for you? I've always thought that these smalls could do more to earn their keep!

frolic hope you are having a lovely time in Liverpool now that you are there. The weather is supposed to be great tomorrow, sunny and not as windy (although you'll still get blown away on the Pier Head I'm sure!)

siani the post-baby division of households tasks is a bit of a nightmare I think. It's interesting that you have phrased it as you feel you ought to do the household stuff because you are the one 'not working' (I put that in quotations because keeping a baby alive is very much working). Do you think that your OH believes that it should be you doing it all or has he just fallen into that pattern (because lets face it, who wouldn't given the opportunity?) If I'm talking out of my arse just ignore me, but I have known a few couples in your boat (myself and DH included!) and sometimes having a chat to clear the air about who is doing what can lead to a more equitable burden of labour again. After a really rocky first 6-months or so we ended up sharing the household stuff pretty evenly again, on the understanding that we both have a full-time job the only difference is that DH gets paid for his. Bloody hell, reading that paragraph back you can tell I used to work for a women organisation. Ignore me if I have gone too bossy old-school feminist

Grumpy 2 finally had her 6-week baby check - hooray! And we have finally got the chicken pox all clear - double hooray! I'm off for an early night to celebrate see you all later for a Smirnoff Ice or three.

x-post kbro I had an NCT group like that first time around. Smug-gits the lot of them (and it turns out that they were pretty much all lying about how their babies slept). Needless to say I am not in touch with most of them now (but the equally desperate, sleep deprived lady I met at a stay and play in the local Sure Start centre became one of my best Mum friends!)

Thanks everyone - my call with the GP wasn't massively helpful. I was asked if I felt I had bonded with J and if I felt suicidal. I was honest and said it was hard to tell if I had bonded with someone who didn't really respond back much and I didn't feel suicidal (although I sometimes feel it might be better for everyone if I just wasn't here). The verdict was to wait, see how I'm doing and if I still feel low in a week or so, I would be referred to the health visitors for an assessment.

Think I'm going to talk to DH and see how I do over the next few days and maybe ring the health visitor myself. My one was really lovely and I think I would feel more comfortable talking to her.

DH has been stuck at work and still not back yet and i couldn't face doing bedtime on my own, as J has been quite knocked out from jabs / Calpol. So have had him dozing on me most of this evening, which has been quite nice.