August 2015 - Let the Sleepless Nights Commence

[nolongerwaitingfornumber2]

My DC2 was born on 5th August and I'm up in the wee hours feeding away. Anyone else with their August babies care to join me?

I still can't believe he's here and in my arms!

Another one here who was addicted to sugar. Struggling to wean myself off. I will need to be strict soon but not just yet.

Wanted to go clothes shopping today but I'm too tired. I just need some cheap in between clothes until I get back to my usual size. Maternity jeans are falling down but can't fit into pre pregnancy jeans. And could do with good breastfeeding tops.

Dd slept all the way through bf group today lol. But she's gone about 3 hourly between feeds today which is quite good. Overnight she stayed asleep if she led next to me so I just let her stay there as I was tired.

Tried to do the biological nursing position but she was too upset and it's difficult with the shields because she pulls them off if I don't guide her onto it. Maybe something to consider when she's bigger. Not sure how it's more restful either because u can't doze off in that position whereas you can in the lying down one. I can only do it with one boob though so far.

I tried out one cloth nappy today. It went well. Thank goodness I then went for disposable after that as she had 5 dirty explosive nappies! That would have been a nightmare. I wonder if it's my antibiotics affecting her.

Hurrah for sleep MzzzF, so pleased the new milk is making a difference.

Hope your DS feels better soon Fatty, I can't imagine how horrible it is when they're poorly, I hate it enough when DS has wind.

Great that you've turned a corner with the BF Kbro, heading towards 6 weeks here but I'm not convinced things are any easier at all. Hoping I'm just feeling a bit negative after a difficult weekend.

Hope everyone is having a good night. I left OH with a bottle and went to bed before DS last night so managed a 5 hour stretch of sleep! Feel great but my boobs were rock solid when I woke up!

I'm having major issues getting DS to nap in the day which is leading to him getting overtired and then screaming like a banshee come evening when he's nackered. He sleeps great in the car but it doesn't seem practical to drive up and down the M1 every day And I just don't know how to get him to sleep at home. When he does nap it tends to be after a feed and as soon as I put him down he wakes up which means either he sleeps on me (and I can't get anything done except eat biscuits and watch Netflix) or he doesn't get enough sleep. It's the age-old question... How to get a baby to sleep. All ideas welcome

Hi clstow, have you tried a bouncer with vibration for daytime naps or if he'll sleep on you but you have stuff to do then how about putting him in the sling? I really wouldn't worry about daytime naps needing to be in the moses basket or cot either. My DD had all her naps as a baby on me but now sleeps beautifully in her cot so not caused any damage here. Good luck!

Good work on the non maternity jeans all!! I'm now about 4 kilos below pre-pregnancy weight (couldn't eat enough to keep weight on in late pregnancy), but I still look bloody pregnant. The belly just isn't flattening out. Starting to think I might just have it forever now. :(

siani if you have a read of the link mzzzf put up it may be able to help you. It's about strengthening your core, which as you are working the muscles, should help tone and give you a flatter stomach.

siani. I am like you - couldn't eat much in pregnancy so weight back to normal BUT I've now had 4 sections and my tummy is never going to be the same again - thank god for pull-in-pants!!! fatty will read mzzzf link - willing to try anything. I wish docs just did a little tummy tuck whilst stiching up after section

Nightmare day here, play date cancelled this morning so had an impromptu day on our own. 2 yr old dd was grizzly tantrumy and refused sleep as did ds so when dh came home just now I handed them over made us both a cup of tea and am hiding upstairs for a few minutes. Feel teary and am really struggling to be positive today hoping it is just lack of sleep x

hopeful I've had a teary day too.
It probably is just lack of sleep. Hopefully we will all get some tonight and wake up refreshed tomorrow.

I'm feeling shit and tearful as well iam and fatty. Ds was really colicky last night from 1-5am. Nothing I did seemed to make things better and I feel like a crap mum for it. The lack of sleep is really getting to me, despite being able to nap in the day.
Hats off to those of you on second and subsequent babies, I can't imagine doing this with another child to care for in the day.

I hope everyone else is doing ok.

Dd1 I cried for the first two months. At least. I'm fine so far with dd2. She a million times easier but I'm more relaxed and confident too.

Big hugs for everyone.

My emotions have calmed down a bit but still like to ramp up every now and then.

Seriously over being tired now! When do u start to feel more human or is this how we're gonna feel forever?! I really really miss my sleep. Managed a nap this evening with dd asleep on my chest. I know it's not safe but I was just so tired.

I've been upset at dp for 2 days but I haven't even got the energy to have it out with him so I've given up and just carrying on. He can be quite selfish sometimes especially now we've got dd it's become more apparent how selfish he can be but never mind. I managed to persuade him to give her her night time bottle last night so I could get to sleep slightly earlier so that was a bit of an improvement.

Constant feeding is still happening. 5 weeks today so another week to go before hopefully things start improving.

Re:tired

I don't know if you just get used to it but it definitely gets easier. Dd1 didn't go longer than 2 hrs until she was 16 weeks old. Dh and I still reminisce about the first night she slept for 5 hrs. It was amazing. The most amazing thing ever. She didn't repeat it til she was about 10 months old. Brutal. Utterly brutal.

You get mums who are smugly patting themselves on the back because they have kids who sleep and they'll put it down to Gina Ford or room temp or swaddling or Ewan the dream sheep or being brilliant mums or whatever. I'm telling you there was not a single thing we didn't try in our quest to get dd1 to sleep. Every white noise, straight jacket, flipping pick-up -put-down, every damn thing. She just grew and developed and eventually she did it herself. Dd2 is not yet two weeks old and she slept 5 hrs last night.

Luck of the draw. That's all it is. Luck of the damn draw. Don't believe anyone who boasts about their child, don't think it's your fault, don't bankrupt yourself buying all the magic products and books. Do what you can to cope and the baby will eventually sleep through. The only thing that never changes is that everything changes eventually. This too shall pass!

Definitely luck of the draw!
DS1 didn't sleep through the night until he was 4. DD slept through from birth! So completely different. DS2 seems to be taking after his brother.

Dozy I sympathise re your other half. My DH is a lovely kind guy but also has a real thoughtless streak going through him. Tonight DS was kicking off when he went to call his parents (who he saw at the weekend) and instead of wrapping call up and coming and helping he chatted for over an hour. This is on top of me letting him have a lie in till 10am this morning when I had been up since 6am and him not coming to rhyme time with us as 'is not his thing' (cause singing nursery rhymes on a mat is clearly as massive hobbie of mine) grrrrrr rant over.

Lots of love to everyone feeling tearful. Am ok today but had a v tearful weekend. It's hard being so up and down - esp as I was never an emotional person before. Tis hard for me to know how to cope with tears.

Clstow we are having the exact same battle with napping. DS will not go down during the day. He usually sleeps really well cuddled into me but wakes up the second I even think about transferring to cot / chair / Moses basket. Today however he hasn't even napped on me. He is so over tired but fighting if badly. He has also, by the sounds of it, filled his nappy and then some do best go.

I tried everything to get DD1 to sleep and was so hung up on her sleeping on her own - eventually, in desperation I kept her in my bed and she slept. With all my subsequent children I have co-slept. They have all moved into their own bed at around age 2 and have slept through the night since. I appreciate that co-sleeping doesn't work for everyone but it's worked well for us. I don't mention it to people in RL as it seems to be frowned upon and they are shocked but as long as everyone gets their sleep I am past caring what others think - until you have gone without a proper sleep for days you can't comprehend what it feels like and what you will do just for a few unbroken hours.

loveandsmiles we're co-sleeping, too. I bought a cot that attaches to the bed, and tried my damnedest to get Fergus to sleep in it, but he wants me within his arms reach. He's afraid if he wakes up alone, and he can't fall asleep without being held. So he came into my bed, and I bought blankets instead of the duvet to make it a bit safer. And honestly it's lovely sleeping with him. I fall asleep smelling his hair and hearing his little noises. And I wake up in the morning with him gurgling to himself happily. And if he's feeding every hour I can flop out a boob and feed him lying down in case I fall asleep.

For me a sling honestly is a godsend for coping with a toddler and a newborn. DS sleeps on the sling which means I have hands free to play with DD.

Totally agree about sleep being luck of the draw but most babies do seem to cluster feed less and get less colicky after 6 weeks once their digestive system has matured a bit. Not all of course but there does seem to be improvement and more sleep (3 hour waking rather than hourly for instance) which definitely helps you cope. I remember the first time DD slept through at 10.5 months and thinking it was a miracle. My DNiece slept through at 8 weeks. My sister doesn't know how bloody lucky she is!

A midwife was telling me all about the fourth trimester the other day. Basically, we would be pregnant for a year if human brain size didn't mean that would make it too difficult to give birth. Therefore the first three months after birth are really just a continuation of pregnancy so sleeping on you, being held, constantly feeding and a haphazard sleep schedule are just because the baby is still behaving like it's in the womb and thinks it is part of you and not their own person. I might Google to find out a bit more about it.

nolonger you are so right about 4th trimester and it's what I keep saying to myself when I struggle with dd on me for what seems like hours on end. Basically we would have ainger gestation period if we still walked in all fours but because we're upright our pelvis now cannot cope with a 12 month old baby pushing its way out!

Ladies I so understand the teariness, you think you're on top of it then someone will ask the dreading question of "are you ok?" And my normal response is a high pitched squeek of "yes" whilst my eyes fill up yet-a-fucking-gain!!

Oh and yes yes yes to DH. He just doesn't 'get it' sometimes. I know he's at work all day and I know she's a loud little got when she gets going but come on man! But then on the other hand he totally surprises me and supports me 100% at other times - it's the lack of consistency that gets me. I wonder if Daddy-time ramps up more when the babies get older as they're not so mamma-dependent, so he'll be more involved etc by default. DH has been out with work tonight so I'm probably more likely to rant about him as I want him home to help me!!

DD has been relatively good today, had our 6 week assessment with the HV which was all good, got the doctors assessment tomorrow and then hopefully we're signed off from weekly visits!

DD also just did a massive vomit and has been pooing like a conveyor belt all day (7 in 24hrs!). She's still weeing a plenty though so not dehydrated. I'm hoping it is just because I've changed over milk not because her reflux skills are super human!! I thought she was just being a fussy monkey tonight and not settling but since the puke she's been sparko on my shoulder. I decided I was going to give the reflux milk a 2 week trial anyway so I'll persevere for now.

Sorry for crappy days all round, Joskar I keep using that phrase! "This too shall pass"

We
Can
Do
This!!!

Oh and ladies I'm getting what you mean about the brutality of getting up from a comfy warm bed every 2hrs to a grumbling baby. At least when I was sleeping propped up I didn't have to get out of bed and she fell straight back to sleep on me after feeding too. Ok it was mega uncomfy and I didn't sleep well buy what a trade off for sleeping flat eh?!

I don't know if I told you ladies about what happened to prompt our quick transition to Moses basket. Basically becaus DD is more mobile she wriggled out of my sleep-numb arms and fell onto DH and head first into the bed, pretty much doing a hand stand. I hate myself for this but I didn't wake up until DH alerted me. And I feel bad wondering 'what if?'
My friends have been wonderful saying that in reality she would have been very vocal after a couple of seconds but those seconds felt like decades in the moment! And they also offered up that there will be several moments over the years where you'll either unintentionally hurt or endanger your child, everything from shutting their finger in a car door to swimming in a too rough sea (thanks dad! ), or like me being so bloody tired that I didn't immediately wake up when she left my arms...

Right enough of the low down times, let's rock this Tuesday night out and kick Wednesday's arse!!!

Another vote for co-sleeping. We have a side car cot but she's still too wee for that. Maybe at a month/6 weeks. Or just wait and see. Along with "this too shall pass" "wait and see" is my parenting mantra. It's amazing what resolves itself.

Truly, Mzzf, don't beat yourself up about it. It was fine and she was fine. What if will kill you. Have you heard the story about Jennifer Saunders 'losing' the baby and going from room to room looking for her before sitting down on the bed to think and realising that she was all curled up at the foot of the bed under the duvet. JS had fallen asleep feeding her and the baby had ended up at the bottom of the bed! We've all done it or similar.

Did she?! Can totally imagine that!

Poor DD has been snoozing sound,y on me since the projectile vomit, don't want to move her now but sleep calls. G'night folks

Yes! "This too shall pass..." So reassuring when you're having a bad day, so useful to remind you not to get cocky when you're having a good one. Another of my favourite mummy mantras is 'babies haven't read the books'... i have to remind myself of it when I'm freaking out coz DS isn't sleeping/eating/behaving as he's 'supposed' to.

for all those who have had tough days, hopefully tomorrow will be better. I was very teary yesterday but today was much easier. I'm pretty sure it's coz we had an ok night - tiredness levels definitely have a big impact on my emotions.

My OH is also proving to be more selfish than ever now the baby is here. He is a good guy and I love him heaps but he says he's bored (to be fair we used to have a much more active social life!) and sometimes I feel like he barely even tries to soothe DS before handing him over. I'm also hopeful that he'll want more to do with DS when he's a bit more engaging. One of the definite downsides of breastfeeding is how useless it can make the man feel.

Anyway I hope everyone is fast asleep with hours to go until they wake up. Wonder what tomorrow will have in store for us all...

All those with partners who seem selfish, I spoke to my DCs dad about this. He said that when they are so young they feel awkward as babies don't do anything and want mummy more. It's strange to talk/sing to a baby that frankly doesn't really care what they have to say!
Their dad is pretty naff at newborn, but he is awesome with the older two. Once they are more vocal and cooing more/cooing in response and not as mummy centred is when daddy cones into his own.

Another bad night for me. Utterly exhausted. The lying down position has given me a sore neck because I can't seem to lie in a comfortable position and I'm straining to look at her to make sure she's ok. So ive sat up feeding most of the night and then had her sleeping next to me for the rest of it. 'Sleeping' being a term used loosely lol. She did manage a short stint in her moses basket when I'd managed to get loads of milk in her. Even at the nighttime feed when she'd had her bottle of formula she still wanted more boob just to help her fall asleep so she slept with me then as well. That was probably the longest sleep we had of the night though.

Anyway felt at the end of my tether this morning so I've packed her off to nanny's for the morning with some bottles. I don't care that I've not reached 6 weeks therefore shouldn't be supplementing with bottles, I'm just too tired now. I'll express in a bit to keep the demand there.

Joined a Facebook group called 'can I breastfeed in this? Uk', it has lots of tips on clothing that's available that is good for breastfeeding in. So now I have a spare morning, instead of sleeping I want to go shopping for clothes. I hate clothes shopping but I desperately need some more things and some jeans that fit me.

That sounds awful Dozy you poor thing. We had 90 min wakeups last night after a couple of nights of 3 hour stretches which was a bit of a shock to my system! Got DS ready in an actual outfit for a baby music group this morning which was then cancelled at short notice argh! So we went to Nero instead where he's had another feed and appears to be having a sleep...!! More coffee needed!