The 11th Gemini bus - Trudging through the terrible twos

[AGnu]

Soak them in water with a tiny bit of vinegar in pear, that'll get the bugs out! I've also gone off blackberries since finding loads of bugs in them last year! DH assures me that this year's haul are much better.

Agnu - I think your DH is a blackberry liar ???? Found one wiggling around after 2 washes. The whole contents is now in 2 Sainsbury bags at my back door. I guess I'll stick to strawberry picking next year!!

Dpo 4 and I'm already booooorrreed of waiting I'm going to "pick your own" today which is probably a dumb idea after the weekend. I hope your DH is right Agnu and it will be less bug infested Honestly, I've had to change so much since having my son. I now spend a lot of time with buses, aeroplanes, tractors and nature!! Not to mention the fresh air I get now

Hope everyone else has a good week!

Later I'm shopping for a spa day to do with my mum and sister. It will be the perfect treat to look forward to when AF returns!

Hiya everyone.

Back home. Exhausted. Running around like a bloody chicken without a head today trying to patch together all these tiny little details and forms for the kids' starting school. Had to do a school supply run-which I heard you don't have to do over there (so envious!) this morning in between meeting with my eldest's teacher at 8:15 and then my middle guy's teacher at 10. Had to speak with the school nurse who is a sow hard woman to deal with and find out that eldest needs another doc appointment to get his final paperwork filled in (which let's face it, can't be done at all this week) so got a talking-to about the importance of his inhaler being available at school in case his asthma acts up and how it has to be done immediately as I'm risking his life give me a fucking break, I've been with him for 3 full weeks without even him having a wheeze So I wanted to punch her in her stupid face (this is how I am when I'm running on jet lag, waking up at 4:30 am because my body thinks it's 10:30 so therefore being awake for 6 hours by that point, and 3 cups of coffee, I'm not very nice ). And so yeah, just been filling in forms, doing mountains of laundry, trying to catch up on emails, and trying to figure out what the F to make for dinner so we can all go to bed at 6pm tonight. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. And then wake up at stupid o'clock again in the morning and get the kids off to catch the bus. HUZZAH! SCHOOL HAS FINALLY STARTED!!

Happy 2ww Pear!

Agnu, we don't do Santa either. We are secular atheists so we do the secular celebrations when it comes to holidays but talk to our kids about what the celebrations actually mean and where they come from. Always a great way to learn about history!

Aaaaand, I have to go wake M up because it's 16:21 (which is like 22:21 over there) from her nap and she'll be a right GROUCHY pants because it's like waking her up in the middle of the night. FUN times ahead, fun times ahead.

Bring - I love the image of you punching the school nurse How seriously annoying of her though!! Wow you've had a fun week then! Bet you now have the feeling of TG it's Friday?! Good to be home and woop woop you survived the UK trip

So, 1 week down and 1 to go. I'm looking forward to getting my blood tests back next week. I sense they will say I OV'd so I don't know why I'm looking forward to that. I guess I'll have the feeling of being 1 step closer to getting help maybe?!

On another note. After hounding my BF with numerous texts she agreed to meet which happened last night. She's very excited and asked me to be her bridesmaid. I'm so honoured but yet so confused Seeing her was just like old times. As normal my DS doesn't get discussed at all but other then that it was like old times which feels ever so confusing to me because I've been feeling that our relationship is so distant of late. My dh thinks that she is being nice because she now needs me. I hate to admit there might be some truth in his reasoning behind it all I did subtly discuss that I feel she feels she can't relate to me anymore but she reassured me that this is not the case. Half of me wonders whether I've made up all these bad feelings in my head? But she's the one who's been asking me what my next work plan is even though I've repeatedly been telling her I've chosen to be a SAHM for now, how long for I don't know and I've explained in the past that I didn't expect to have such long gaps between children but she still continues to ask the question which is upsetting for me (apart from last night). Anyway, she knows that I'm TTC dc2 but it wasn't brought up yesterday so I don't know how that will work out with me being a bridesmaid. I'm trying very hard not to worry about it all but it's hard. I feel like I've become so paranoid and sensitive lately I'm very tearful about friendships and lack of friendships. I just really hope that I will become a stronger person and not so sensitive and tearful with dc2! Sorry my post is not very cheerful. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

It's not possible to have PMT and get a bfp is it? Suddenly twigged that maybe PMT has a part to play in my emotions

Sounds like you're in a tough position, pear. Dealing with relationships when friends are in different spots in life is just hard. period. I think even if you weren't going through all sorts of hormones with being in the later part of your cycle, it would be hard not to be emotional about working out the weirdness of this relationship. Also being a bridesmaid is a lot of work! It sounds like you know your friend pretty well, so think about what your friend is like in her most stressful and bitchy points in her life and then multiply that by 10 and then try to imagine what it would be like to please her and still maintain being a mum. You don't have to do this (being a bridesmaid), especially if you're feeling unsure on your stance with her, just keep that in mind. I can relate to really f'ing annoying questions coming from people who just don't have a clue on how nosy and hurtful their questions are. I'm sorry pear Can I offer a virtual cuppa and a virtual hug and just let you know that even though we don't meet up in person, that we're here for you! Also absolutely nothing wrong with finding something to be optimistic with (re: blood tests). Got to start somewhere! Fingers crossed for you!

Hung out with my baby sister yesterday. Took M to the zoo and then managed to get a items on the MASSIVE to-do work list my boss has drawn up for me. So huzzah for small victories in the first week back!

How is everyone else doing out there?

Thank you bring Now that my mind is focused on whether I'll get a bfp or not I'm feeling a lot calmer about the situation. My feet are back on the ground and I realise my desire for a second baby is more important over a friendship that hasn't supported me in the last 2 years. However, I would really like to be a bridesmaid if possible. I would love it. Her mother is well and fit and as they're very close I imagine that they will do a lot of the organising together. I seriously doubt she will want me to go to dress shops and she's already expressed that wedding shows are not for her. As she doesn't have a lot of time for me I can't imagine endless chats about wedding stuff but equally I could talk about that until the cows come home so I don't mind if she does want to talk about her wedding ideas. The only real thing that I think I'll be involved in is the hen party but as she's not made me MOH I don't actually feel that responsible and I can imagine her other Bridesmaid without kids taking over. Anyway, this will probably all backfire on me and I'll be tearing my hair out! I've remember today that I was actually a bridesmaid for a friend 4 years a go and I actually had very little to do lol That's why I had forgotten I was bridesmaid

Just catching up on all the news. Mad busy at the moment.

We had a fab holiday. Two days with the in laws which was nice then 4 days in the Haven holiday park at Devon Cliffs. It's brilliant! We were fantastically lucky with the weather but the caravans are lovely and the facilities are brilliant. C absolutely loved all the swimming and wanted to go down the water slides over and over (they have little ones for toddlers as well as bigger ones for teens/adults). He had the time of his life. Loved being on the beach too, paddling with waves and seeing fish swimming around us, then digging sandy holes and building sand castles. Also spent some time looking in rock pools for beasties. We're thinking of going back for a week next year (although will be a different experience with a 4 month old). Of course, as we were there the first week of Sept. all the families had young pre-school age kids which was nice too.

Spent two days in Brighton at the end too. I was on my own with C on Fri as DH was at a conference. Brighton's lovely but not at all buggy-friendly. I was exhausted at the end of the day with all the walking around and pushing buggies up hills and carrying DS and the buggy across the beach or up and down steps. I burst into tired/hormonal tears when DH came back that evening

My morning sickness didn't seem to bad while we were away but I think I was just too busy to focus on it. Suddenly seems worse now that I'm back at work and at my desk all day. I'm so knackered too. Can't WAIT for the queasy phase to pass! I'm really struggling. Also, I'm finding it harder to cope with C and feel bad for being short-tempered with him, especially since we only have so much time with him as an only child. PFB guilt!

All is well though overall.

pear a few days left! I was totally PMT-ish and hormonal before I got my BFP. I totally thought AF was coming.

AF arrived this morning. Sad. Really sad . I brought wine after music class this morning and the NEW dairy milk chocolate that you can smash into little pieces. DH is working late tonight so I figured that smashing chocolate will be a good way to let some steam off. The only thing that is keeping me going is knowing that I have more time with bpear without being pregnant or riddled with guilt like Lor is talking about. However, Lor...better to be pregnant with guilt then have the guilt that you can't give them a brother/sister. Right now that's all I can think about and my mind is constantly consumed with it all 24/7 which is so exhausting. I would prefer to be full of pregnant hormones and battling with that guilt then feeling...is this it for me? Is my dream of having 3 children a fantasy? Anyway, what I'm trying to say is Lor, I'm sure everyone feels your guilt and I wouldn't worry about feeling guilty. I think it's probably normal to feel how you feel It will soon pass.

Bring - I have a question for you if you don't mind. So, I used to do exercise videos at home before DS arrived 30 minutes 3x a week. They really helped me tone up. I would really like to start using them again but I've been avoiding them because I felt maybe cardio with weights wasn't the best idea when TTC. Now I'm feeling flabby again and I'm not pregnant. Should I just go for it? Do you think exercise would lessen my chance for conceiving? Maybe I could just avoid doing the weights on my 2ww? The exercises involve sit-ups and ab work. What's your personal opinion? Thank you

Oh and AF arrived on 11dpo so my LP has shortened again by two days . I don't know what that means

I'm so sorry pear. And sorry to witter on about silly guilt which is all in my head and not a real thing to have to worry about. What's next in terms of your tests. You get the results this week right?

That smashable chocolate sounds like a great plan and looks amazing. The ad had me salivating last night. I can't have it though (may contain nuts).

On the exercise thing, have you considered doing yoga or pilates as a gentler form of exercise? Are you into yoga at all? I do classes online sometimes with yogaglo.com. It's 18 dollars a month, so fairly cheap (and great value in comparison with London class prices) and there's loads to choose from including a lovely fertility yoga class which is all about relaxing and being open to conceiving and trying to alleviate the stress of ttc. Might annoy the crap out of you if you're not into that kind of thing but I like it.

Ahh shit pear What a bummer! Great idea on taking out frustration on the chocolate and then getting to eat it. Need to try to find that over here....

Of course I don't mind! Yes, yes, yes go for it! Exercise is fantastic for fertility. It helps with hormone regulation, which in turn helps with food cravings, which helps with eating more healthy which also helps with fertility... it's a lovely circle of being more healthy.

So, I hope this isn't too brash of me, but has your DH had a sperm count done? I hate that you're feeling so much of this pressure on your end when it could very well be either parties. Would be ever go and get it done? I guess I don't know what the protocol is like over there on when they test the guy....

Lor - your guilt is very real. Not in your head at all. It's so sad to think things will never be the same again! I hear so many mothers talk about that and it makes me sad just thinking about it! Apparently your heart grows though so it will all work out for the better I have never done yoga before. I've always wanted to. Do you think a novice like me would understand the online tutorial sounds great!

Bring - thank you Your blessing makes me feel better! So this is it then. Wow... I'm really going to have to dust the DVDs! I feel ready!! Ha ha my mum awkwardly asked me 2 weeks ago if DH had been tested. Yuk! Anyway, prefer the question coming from you The answer is no. They don't offer anything like that here. From what I understand because I've had one child the NHS is a lot less caring about me so I may have to consider going private in a few months but it would be such a drain on finances so it is definitely the last straw. I haven't mentioned testing to DH because I didn't want to stress him out. I thought I'd ask the doctor after the 3 month tests.

I'll give the doctors a call on Wednesday to see what my results are. Maybe tomorrow. It took a week last time so it's still a bit early.

Thanks for your support ladies

Oh and much as I had fun smashing chocolate with my hand I think it would work just as well smacking a large chocolate bar on the work top bring...just so you know for next time

What's all this about smashable chocolate?! How did I miss that memo? It sounds like perfect PMT food!

Sorry about AF pear! It's so frustrating - I wish I could wave a magic wand & make it happen for you! There are lots of yoga videos on YouTube if you want to try it out before paying for anything. I've tried it a few times but then DH came in & saw me & laughed & it's kinda put me off! I don't really get much time to do such things when he's out & there aren't toys scattered all over the floor. It's just too much effort to tidy up all the toys & then exercise too!

I totally lost Runt yesterday. I went to the zoo with Calf's best friend's family & Calf, Runt & BF were hiding in a cave-type thing pretending to be lions in a den. BF's mum took a photo of them & showed it to me. Straight after that we started to walk around the corner - we'd gone all of about 3 metres before I realised Runt wasn't following. I went back to the cave to encourage him along & he was gone. I ended up marching around half the zoo shouting for him while BF mum watched all the other DC. In the end I found my way to the lost child point, it must've been about 5 minutes that he'd been gone by this point & they'd just heard on the radio that a child had been found & was being brought over. Little monkey just smiled at me like he does when I walk into a room, completely unfazed by being with complete strangers!
I clearly don't react to things like this in a normal way - at one point I had to stop myself going back to the rest of the group & suggesting that we just continue on around the zoo on the basis that we'd probably bump into him at some point! I was perfectly level-headed about the whole thing up to the point where I had to ask if someone had seen him - once I started telling people he was lost my throat started closing up. It was the weirdest thing - I was completely calm but felt like I was having an allergic reaction! I'm decidedly not normal! I still can't figure out how he escaped - he must've gone straight past us without either of us noticing & somehow managed to get out of sight in the 10 seconds I wasn't looking at him... Except that I had a clear line of sight down all the paths nearby because we were next to a lawn! Utterly baffled about how he got away!
Calf & BF spent the rest of the visit talking on their imaginary radios after BF mum got a staff member to radio in that Runt was missing. Calf & BF thought it was a great adventure. I didn't let go of Runt's hand for the rest of the day.

Progesterone levels are back... 20.5 compared with 53.1. Results are borderline but I would say I probably didn't ovulate?! 2 months down...1 to go!!

Agnu - thanks I would love to borrow your majic wand! Your experience at the zoo sounds scary It happens so quickly doesn't it! I've hear a few friends talk about loosing their children and I absolutely dread anything like that in the future. I guess it happens when they start running about and you have more than 1 child to cope with I'm glad you found him quickly!!

Finally managed to get round to re setting password and got wifi set up at the new house yesterday!!
Yes we've moved
Will try in vain over the course of breaks to catch up on what I've missed but hope everyone's ok, I've posted before reading

Managed to catch back up woosh I'd been gone awhile
Congrats again to lor although I know I saw the news on fb. How many weeks is it now?
Tiger did start school this time, 2 days after her 4th bday! She seems to have handlers it well, it's been 2.5 weeks now and she's only just this week been abit but why is it school again?! I knew 5 days a week would eventually get to her though but no tears and has made some new friends
Move was hellish reason I was absent aside not being able to get on mumsnet (and on that note does anyone else use the add on smart phone as that still won't let me and I deleted and reloaded) is because they kept refusing things and turning us down. We were surposed to have keys from exchange then they said no then wouldn't even let us put things in the garage!! ( the house has been unoccupied 18 months as they are in oz. had to move all on one day without keys till 4pm!! Oh and no internet and boiler not working and damp still we are in and things are starting to get done

Wow kitty, that's sounds crazy stressful! Why could you not get the keys until 4pm?!

Calf made me giggle this morning. I was woken up by an urgent shout followed by, "I'm not growing into a man, I'm growing into a lady! I've not got all curled round hair like a man, it's long and straight like a lady!" He'd just slept on it funny & it was sticking out at funny angles! He was so confused about it though! We've spent the best part of the last 6 months trying to stop him starting sentences with "when I grow into a lady..." & I thought he'd grasped the concept now but clearly we're not quite there! He never identifies as a girl so I'm fairly sure we don't have any gender/sex conflict issues!

Oh man, Kitty! The stresses with moving. Glad things are getting sorted for you! Glad to have you back!

Haha agnu! Kids say the best things. It's ok, M said she was a boy the other day. Gender is just so confusing to kids!

Yeah, those levels are much lower than last month pear ! I wonder if maybe they tested the progesterone levels too late in the month, if maybe you ovulated earlier than you thought, which resulted in the shorter cycle?

Man, can I just say that I LOVE school! The boys are busy all day and it's just me and M. I also love our new daycare and M is loving it there. So glad we are finally getting into a rhythm.

How is everyone? It's been 10 days since the last post! Eek! Looks like all the little ones are keeping us busy this week.

M has been a little spitfire. She is continuously being bitten and scratched by the cats after she lays on top of them and tries to strangle the poor creatures around the neck. It's like this girl will. not. learn. At least she is sleeping at night so we are finally feeling like humans again after all the traveling and jet lag. Thank goodness for normalcy. The boys are doing fabulously in school and I am absolutely loving just tossing them on the bus and then picking them up at the end of the day. Feels amazeballs having a routine. We have so many projects to do in the house this autumn/winter. The more we talk about it the more we want to move and find a place that has features we wish this house had. Anyway, nothing exciting to report....just mundane every day stuff going on around here.

Runt fell off Calf's cabin bed today. I've told them so many times not to stand up on it. Calf said they were playing a game where Runt was jumping over his legs & he fell... head first onto the corner of the radiator. He calmed down surprisingly quickly & it barely bled at all despite being really deep. All was fine until I tried to put steri-strips on it & he completely freaked out! I ended up kneeling on the floor over him & clamping his arms to his sides with my knees! Eventually managed to patch him up & an hour or so later I realised he had blood on his eyebrow - he must've rubbed it & made it bleed so it loosened the plaster & the steri-strips so I had to do it all again! DH swore he'd come home if I needed him to so I asked him to just make sure he was home on time so we could make a decision about if he needed to be seen by anyone before A&E got busy... naturally he was still late. Runt's fine now, as long as I'm not fussing over him too much!

DH watched Grand Designs yesterday & just gave me his very best wounded puppy look when I pointed out that we didn't really need to discuss his ideas in great detail right now because there's no way we're going to be able to afford to build our own home, unless both his parents spontaneously drop dead & even then I'm pretty sure there'd be higher priorities for any inheritance they left him! I love designing houses & day dreaming about a different life but usually DH brings me back to earth. I don't know how to deal with him getting excited too!

Oh dear, I've just found a plot of land for a reasonable but still more than we could afford price in a relatively good location... I'll just sit here chanting "we wouldn't get planning permission" to myself for a while & resisting the urge to buy a lottery ticket! I may have just asked DH to call his parents to see if they would lend us the money... He merely pointed out that they're away at the moment & didn't object that strongly to the suggestion that we could go to their house & steal their bank details...