September 2014 - Rocking and Rolling

[FATEdestiny]

Our babies are rocking and rolling, crawling and climbing into the second half of their first year.

Let the fun continue...

Ella I'm really sorry to hear about your Mum. Do you have any idea on how much she is likely to recover, or don't they really know yet? I can sympathise with how hard it is. My Dad has cancer which although is being managed right now will eventually be terminal so I have some idea how distressing this must be for you and how hard it is to see a parent poorly.

I also had some sad news recently. Some of you may remember that I posted a pic of Jessica as a flower-girl about a month ago where we were both bridesmaids. Well the bride herself found out she was pregnant a few days after the wedding and she and her new husband were ecstatic. However unfortunately unknown to anyone the pregnancy was ectopic and she started haemorrhaging at the weekend after her fallopian tube ruptured and had a lot of internal bleeding. She had emergency surgery but has obviously lost the baby and has had to have her fallopian tube removed so it's going to be harder for her to get pregnant again. Such a sad start to married life.

Sorry to hear about your mum's stroke Ella

KitKat - Sorry too to hear about your Dad. My dad passed away from cancer 4 years ago, after a fairly long battle, so I can empathise. Sorry too for your friend, must be very sad for them.

Sorry to hear about your Mum Ella

KitKat sorry to hear about your friend and Dad, cancer is an evil disease.

Yay for your crawling DS Lilly, There is no stopping A now he crawls an cruises everywhere. He even walked using his walker briefly yesterday. Only problem now is he hates being cooped up in a pram and wants to be taken out all the time. He is currently destroying our front room even though he should be settling for bed lol.

Ella sorry to hear about your mum, glad mil is helping so you can be with her!

for you and your family Ella

Nursery settling in had begun, so far so good. I'm feeling slightly pfb that I've arranged 6 weeks of settling in before I start work but I'm dreading starting work and having him still really unsettled.

so sorry ella, sending you lots of love.

Please can i ask some advice? i have always been larger, i have polycystic ovaries and struggle to lose weight. my in laws have always made an issue of it, and i have tried to explain that i struggle, and that it isn't because I am not trying. anyway... My father in law told me i have to go to the gym in my lunch break at school. I don't get a lunch break as i do activities in it. So I said I leave for school at 7.30, get back at 5 to feed b and play with him and do bedtime. By the time he is settled it is 7.30 then i have supper to make and eat, and work to do. So then he said he was sure I would find time. Which basically would be 9pm before gym shuts at 10. This after he told me last week how they were worried that i would get diabetes and that b needed his mum around for a long time, so basically that they were worried i was going to die. My sister in law to be is super skinny and gorgeous and they mention how slim she is. I am not THAT big but i do need to lose weight. however the constant nagging is getting me down, they do it in front of people - strangers or people i know. What would you do? rather than spurring me on it has made me feel that I am an embarrassment to the family. and now I don't want to see them, especially at meals. We are close and they are really kind to me, but this, it's caring gone too far i think. How do I manage it? and how do I get my self esteem back?

sorry for the essay.

Ella so sorry about your mum. Hope she recovers soon

Kitkat also sorry about your dad... It should be so difficult.

Kitkat & Beccus thanks so much for your answers; it gave me a clearer idea about what We need to do ... I may ask you questions later. From my post in sleep board it appears sleep is not going to correct itself automatically... So have to do something about it.

Acorn you were not to know how it will go... One of my friend's baby didn't settle in nursery fir the first month or so, so she was really happy she arranged for having one month overlap.

Holls I am probably not the best person to answer but why would something like that affect your self esteem ? To be honest they probably think that they are helping and that you need some nudging but firstly I don't think they have the right to put you under pressure or make you feel bad; secondly if I were you I would be very honest and would tell them that Their comments are affecting you in a bad way and the outcome is more negative for you than positive. If they just heard what you wrote here from you, would they continue with their comments?

Oh I wanted to ask a question too, anybody has bought a backpack kids carrier or can recommend one?

nazly, it has made me think that they don't like me cos I am larger and that I embarrass them which upsets me.

We have a little life rucksack. It is great, but quite heavy once it contains child.

Holls - seems to me you will have to be quite firm and blunt to them about it in telling them it's none of their business and their comments are hurtful. To make comments like that in the first place is crossing normal social etiquette boundaries so they probably aren't able to read your feelings on it. I hope your DH backs you up!

nazly I have the osprey poco plus carrier. I've only had it a few weeks but have managed to walk a couple of hours a few times with no problems. It has to be adjusted just right though I've found which is tricky.

holls I hate confrontation but I'd find it hard not to snap in that situation. I'd wait until they say something again and just tell them directly that their comments aren't helpful and you don't want to hear about it again. Actually, I'm such a wimp that I'd probably text them instead

I have cried when they had a go, they then say it's because they love me...and keep going. I hate confrontation so will avoid it but yesterday I cried all evening about it, so something clearly needs to be done.

holls I too am bigger then I want to be and I am really struggling to get it off, it would really hurt if my in-laws mentioned anything about my weight! Even if it came from a caring side it still hurts, I am rubbish at confrontation so I would just avoid them for a really long time

nazly do you mean back carrier for babies to go in? If yes we have the baby Bjorn One, haven't used it on the back yet as he needs to be one! If you mean children back packs with reigns for little walkers I love the little life back pack!.

Wow Ella, what a nasty thing your FIL said.

I think there certainly are fat genes - i've always struggled with my weight. Why people (mostly people that have never had to work to maintain their weight, and that doesn't mean they're healthy!) feel they have a right to comment on other people's weight I don't know. Even if it's a 'because I care' standpoint. You can be fat and healthy, and equally be slim and unhealthy, it's just not that simple.

Will your DH say something to them Holls if they don't listen to you? It's awful for you to have to keep listening to.

Blimey Holls, that is terrible. Really, really rude.

Why would anyone think they have a right to say stuff like that to you? Even my own family - even my Mum or DH, I'd have a massive go at them if anyone was so rude to me.

Without being confrontational, I would suggest being very up-front to cause them embarrassment.

• "What you are saying is rude"
• "Did you realise you are being very rude to me?"
• "I am offended you said that, it makes me feel X"
• "Please stop making those sorts of comments, I don't like them at all"
• "I will lose weight when I am ready. I would like you to stop mentioning it"

Also Holls - how is your mental health currently? My DH (who is larger than he could be but not massive) often reads too much into comments about his weight at times when his mood is low. At other times the same comments go unnoticed.

Wow Holls that is rude. EllaBella I'm at your FIL's comment!

Holls I would just say something along the lines of 'I appreciate you think you are trying to help but the constant comments about my weight are starting to really upset me and I'm not finding it helpful, so could you please stop'. Hugs. x

fate, my mental health is fine, well over the anxious stage just don't want to cause a scene but also fed up of being treated with such a lack of respect.

That's good to hear Holls. I hope you didn't mind me asking?

not at all

holls and Ella that's unbelievable! In-laws, eh??

Having told everyone to do what suits with their kids, it turns out wedding friend has now asked everyone to put their kids in the creche as they've overbooked the dinner and don't have enough space for everyone